by Regan Ure
I breathed.
My heartbeat began to slow. I could feel the physical effects of the drain of energy on my body. I was dying, and my body was beginning to shut down. My breathing became shorter and a new pain began to spread through my body. I could feel my whole body start to slow down as I gasped for breath. I couldn't breathe. I was going to die.
My blood slowed in my veins.
In an echo, as if in a dream, I heard someone say, "Let him go."
I felt the pain disappear and then I felt nothing. I was finally free of the pain, I thought. I was wrong.
A sharp stab of agony entered my chest. The pain increased as the energy pushed into my broken body. I couldn't move and I couldn't utter a word as the searing pain from the new energy entering my body intensified until I thought I was going to die.
It felt like an electrical current jolting through my body, making my body spasm uncontrollably.
The darkness of death surrounded me and I wanted give in. But I'd promised Jared I would fight. As the energy spread from my chest to the different parts of my body, so did the spasming pain. There were no words to describe the agony that spread through nearly every inch of my battered body.
It felt like every single cell in my body was being jolted with the energy. I wanted to scream and never stop, but I couldn't make a sound. Just when I thought the pain couldn't get any worse, it did, until finally its intensity remained constant.
"Please, you promised me," I heard Jared plead before the darkness descended.
I drifted back into consciousness. The reason I knew that was because I could feel the pain again. It was agony.
"Ava, can you hear me?" I heard Jared whisper. I couldn't answer him back because I couldn't move and I couldn't feel anything on the outside of my body. Every particle of my being inside felt alive, like electricity vibrating in me.
How long had I been out? I didn't know how much longer I could take this. I wanted to beg for someone to stop the pain. It was too much.
Time ticked by. The only thing I could concentrate on was the agony that spasmed inside of me. It didn't feel like it was easing up at all. I didn't know how long I'd been wrestling with this indescribable pain. I lay there, wishing for the pain to stop, but it was pointless because it was unending.
Jared whispered comforting words to me and I held on to the sound of his voice, like a beacon of light in the darkest storm.
The next time I regained consciousness, the pain was still there, but it had eased slightly. It was still a throbbing pain pulsating in my body. I tried to move my hand. It moved, and then I felt a hand holding my other hand.
I opened my eyes. It was dark. My eyes took a while to adjust to the darkness as I scanned the room. It was Jared's bedroom. I could see him sitting in a chair next to my bed. He was sleeping. He looked exhausted. I tried to sit up, but the pain was too much and I felt a wave of dizziness so I lay back down.
For a few minutes, I lay there and watched Jared sleep. He looked so peaceful. I held his hand tightly. It was comforting to touch him. I slowly brushed my thumb over the side of his hand. While I was watching Jared, I drifted off to sleep.
It must have been a while later because the next time I woke up, the sun was shining through the open curtains.
The pain had been replaced with an ache. Everything ached.
"Ava." It was Jared. He was awake and he was still sitting in the chair next to my bed.
I looked at him.
The sight of him warmed my heart.
He looked relieved as he grasped my hand with both of his. I tried to move, but I was still sore. Every muscle felt stiff with even the slightest movement. I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath.
I'd survived. It had been a miracle. A miracle I had desperately needed. Tears gathered and slid down the sides of my face. They were tears of relief.
"It's okay," he soothed while he brushed my tears away. "You're going to be fine."
He pressed a brief kiss to my forehead. I still couldn't believe I'd survived and that I was going to be okay.
"You survived," he whispered. He pressed a light kiss to my lips. It felt like heaven.
"I want to heal you but I'm scared of what effect it will have on the altering," he explained. I understood. Besides, the pain was gone now. I was still sore, but that was nothing compared to what I had endured.
"Did it work?" I whispered faintly. I hoped it had worked because I couldn't do it again. I wasn't strong enough to go through that again. If I'd known how bad it was going to be, I wouldn't have been able to do it in the first place.
"We think so."
Good.
"Tired," I whispered to Jared.
"Sleep. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up," he soothed as he pressed another kiss to my forehead. I closed my eyes and let exhaustion claim me.
It was dark the next time I woke up. Soft light illuminated from the side lamp on the side table next to the bed.
"Hey," I heard Jared say. True to his word, he'd stayed with me. His beautiful green eyes lit up and he smiled at me.
"Hey," I said.
I tried to sit up. I felt Jared hold me up by my upper arms and position me sitting up against the headboard of his bed.
"Thanks."
"You still need to take it easy," he instructed.
My throat was sore.
"Here," he said, handing me some water, and I took a few sips. The coolness soothed the dryness in my throat.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, his eyes searching mine.
"Much better," I said.
When I remembered how bad the pain had been, I shuddered. I didn't want to ever think about that again. I wanted to lock that memory in a deep hidden part of my mind and never relive it again.
My eyes drifted down to the wrist I remembered cutting. The skin looked perfect. There was no mark at all.
"I want to see myself," I said to Jared when I remembered cutting my throat.
"Are you strong enough to walk?" he questioned with concern.
"Yes," I said.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting to see.
When I looked down, I noticed that someone had changed me into my pajamas. I swung my legs around to the side of the bed and tried to stand up. Jared steadied me and put his arm around my waist as he helped me walk slowly to the bathroom.
He switched on the bathroom light as we stepped inside. He walked me over to the mirror. I held on to the bathroom counter below the mirror.
My eyes went straight to my neck as I studied my reflection in the mirror. There was no scarring or any hint of what I'd done. I looked tired. There were still dark circles under my eyes. Jared watched me patiently while he stood behind me. He knew what I was looking for. He wrapped his arms around me.
"It worked," he insisted.
I was alive but how did we know it had worked? Doubt entered my mind. What if they hadn't done it right and even though I'd pulled through I was still going to become a Hue? I swallowed my growing doubt as I leaned my head back against his chest. I wasn't so convinced. I hoped with every fiber of my being that the altering had worked, but there was no proof at the moment that it had.
The only quick way to know if the altering had worked was if I didn't have any more emotionless states. I tried to think back since the altering. All I remember was drifting in and out of consciousness. I remembered the pain and Jared. I didn't remember feeling numb and I didn't remember feeling nothing.
"What day is today?" I straightened up. He let go of me as I turned around to face him.
"Wednesday."
I'd missed two whole days. It had been Monday when Danny had drained my power to prevent me from going to Mason.
"When did you guys do the altering?" I needed to know.
"First thing Tuesday morning, at three in the morning," he said.
"Have I had any emotionless states since the altering?" I wasn't sure I wanted the answer to the question.
"No."
"Very sure. It worked," he insisted. Was he insisting because he truly felt that it had worked or was it because he didn't want to face the chance that it might not have worked?
I wanted him to be right--I hoped he was right. If I didn't have any emotionless episodes in the next twelve hours, I would believe him, but until then I was going to remain pessimistic.
I stood there quietly. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close. It was nice just to stand there and be held. His touch comforted me. Comforted me. Wasn't that how I had felt with Mason? When I'd had the burning need for him, touching him would make the need disappear and I would be comforted by his touch.
I wondered that, if Jared hadn't stayed with me while I was asleep, would I have woken up with a burning need to be with him like I had with Mason, or did the energies work differently? There was one way to find out.
"Would you do me a favor?" I looked up at him as he loosened his hold on me.
"Anything," he replied. He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead.
"I'm really hungry. Please, would you get me something to eat?"
"Sure. Any requests?"
"No. Anything will be fine."
He walked me back to the bed. I got back into the bed and pulled the comforter up to my chin.
"I won't be long," he said as he left the room.
Did I feel any different? I waited and waited. Then I felt something. It wasn't the same as the burning need that I'd felt for Mason. I just felt like...I was missing something. I felt anxious and nervous. This need gave me warm butterflies in my stomach. The sensation felt so weird.
Patiently, I waited, sitting in the bed until Jared returned with food. The smell was divine. It was some pasta dish. He settled the tray on my lap.
I needed to test my theory, so I reached out and touched his arm. The moment my fingertips made contact with his skin, I felt a completeness sweep over me. The feeling of loss was gone, and I felt peaceful. I had everything I needed. In that moment, I knew the altering had worked.
Jared looked at me expectantly. I shifted the tray off of my lap and next to me on the bed. I climbed out of the bed and wrapped my arms around Jared. His arms held me. He looked down at me. He looked a little confused. I smiled back up at him.
"It worked," I said. He knew now what I was talking about.
"I already told you that," he stated.
"When I had an emotionless episode and the Hue energy was heightened, I always had this burning need to be with Mason. The longer I was away from him the worse it got. As soon as I touched him the need would disappear and I would feel comfortable."
He nodded and I continued.
"It seems that the Archaic energy works differently. When you left me to get me some food, I started to feel like I was missing something. The longer you were away the more anxious I became. That all disappeared as soon as I touched you. I feel whole again."
He smiled at me.
"That's how I felt even before the altering. When you aren't with me I feel like I'm missing something, and when I'm with you I feel complete," he said.
That had to the sweetest thing I'd ever heard.
I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him. His arms tightened around me and he held me close as he kissed me back. I loved him, but I wasn't ready to admit it to him yet.
He pulled back.
"You need to eat," he ordered and he pushed me back into bed. He put the tray back on my lap and sat down in the chair next to the bed. I ate the food quickly.
It was only when I finished eating that I remembered my grandmother was supposed to have phoned me back on Tuesday morning.
"Did Anne call?" I asked him in a panic.
"No. She sent a text saying she was busy but she kept in touch via text message. Neve did all of your responses to her. She doesn't suspect a thing."
I sighed with relief. There had been so many close calls. I was glad that my grandmother was oblivious to all of this.
I felt tired again. How was it possible that I had been out for two days and I was still tried? Jared saw the exhaustion hit me. He removed the tray and took it downstairs.
There was no way after two days I was not going to have a shower and brush my teeth. I found my usual duffel bag filled with my clothes and took out another set of pajamas. My toothbrush and other toiletries were there too.
Although I was still so tired, it was nice to have a quick shower and brush my teeth. I brushed my hair. It was very knotted from the lack of brushing over the last couple of days. Back in bed I waited for Jared to return. I didn't have to wait long. He came back and got a change of clothes.
"I'm just going to have a quick shower. I won't be long," he said as he disappeared into his bathroom.
I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I lay back on the bed and let my head hit the pillow. I heard the shower turn on, and after a few minutes I heard him switch the shower off. A few minutes later the bathroom door opened. My eyes drifted over him as he entered the room. He was so damn sexy. As usual he wore just pajama pants and nothing else--his chest was bare.
If I weren't so tired I would be taking advantage of him. I smiled. He switched off all the lights and then I felt the bed dip as he climbed in beside me. He lay down on his back and I moved closer to him so that I could put my head on his chest. His arm wrapped around my shoulders and held me. I feel complete. With that thought, I fell asleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
They next morning sitting in Jared's bed my mind drifted over my memories from the last couple of weeks, from my first day at school to now. So much had happened, and it was still a lot to take in.
The altering had worked and I was able to look to my future with hope and not resigned sadness. I wondered if it would take as long as it had for me to complete the change to a Synthetic Archaic.
The anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach pulled at me. I felt that familiar feeling that I was missing something. It was because I was missing Jared, but before I went looking for him, I needed to shower and get into some clothes. I went back into the room and looked for my duffel bag.
A shower and a quick change of clothes later, I was ready to go looking for Jared. I walked down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Jared and his mom were sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking coffee. They both stood up as I entered the room.
"Hi," Catherine greeted as she gave me a hug. "How are you feeling?" she asked as she scanned my face.
"I feel good." It was the truth. I was still feeling very anxious but it was nothing like the burning feeling I'd felt for Mason's touch. Technically I was still in the process of changing, so maybe it would get worse the closer I got to completing the change, like it had with Mason.
"You're a very lucky girl," she stated. I wasn't sure I felt so lucky.
She released me and Jared stood beside me. He was still walking around in his pajama bottoms and a plain white T-shirt.
"Hey," he said. I reached for him and as soon as my fingers touched his hand, I felt whole again. I was happy. The anxious feeling faded away.
"Hi," I greeted him back.
"Do you want some breakfast?" he asked.
"Do you have cereal?" I questioned with a smile. I sat down in a seat next to Jared's half-empty cup of coffee. His mom sat opposite us.
"Of course," he said as he searched through the cupboards. He found a box and poured my cereal in a bowl, and then added milk and a spoon. He pushed the bowl in front of me.
"How're you feeling?" he asked. He was studying me closely.
"I feel fine," I answered.
"Good." He smiled and gave me a quick peck on the lips.
I glanced up at the clock on the kitchen wall as I ate a spoonful of my cereal. It was seven in the morning.
"Do you think the Hue are still around?" I asked Jared quietly. He was sitting next to me now, sipping his coffee.
"No. They've left town," he answered.
I didn't
know how I felt about that. I didn't have the connection to Mason anymore and I was very relieved. I wasn't scared of them like I had been before. Maybe it was because I was now becoming a synthetic Archaic and I would be completing the change soon. I still wasn't exactly sure how soon that would be. But if I was already feeling physical effects when Jared wasn't around, I was pretty sure it would be soon.
"You'll need to be trained so that you can protect yourself if you need to," he explained, watching me closely. His finger tilted my face toward his and he said, "I need to know that you're able to take care of yourself if I'm not there."
I nodded my head. I understood. He couldn't be with me all the time and he needed me to be able to protect myself against the Hue when they came back again. I wanted to be able to protect myself, too, and I didn't want to be considered the weak one in the group or the one who needed to be protected.
"The Hue will be back, and when they come I want you to be prepared. That is why it's so important for you to train and learn to fight. You also need to learn how to use your abilities," he said. "You're very important to me, and Mason knows that. It's just a matter of time before he comes back."
Important to me, his words echoed in my heart.
Just when everything had settled down. I didn't have to worry about turning into a monster anymore; now I had to worry about Mason coming back to harm me. Soon I would be one of them, and that introduced a whole new set of problems.
I realized my life was always going to be different. Gone were my days of just worrying about school and normal teenage things. Homework, clothes, boys, etc.--all those things seemed small and insignificant now. Now that I was changing, my life was always going to be different. I would have to train and learn how to fight and I would need to learn how to use my abilities.
So today, on a rare occasion where I didn't have to worry about Archaic or Hue, I wanted to do something normal. I wanted to do something so mundanely human that it would be considered boring.
"I want to go to school today," I said quietly.
Jared stopped what he was doing to look at me and ask, "Are you sure you're up for it?"
"Yes," I answered. "If I stay home I'm going to go crazy thinking about the altering and everything. I need normality. Normality is school. Besides, it will keep my mind off everything else."