by Jude Ouvrard
Making my way inside, I saw many people dancing, drinking, and having a good time. My eyes drifted across all the blondes in the place, searching until I found her inked arms up in the air. The girl who’d been so broken when I’d last seen her now appeared to be in an advanced state of drunkenness, and I couldn’t help wondering why. It felt out of character for her. My feet carried me in her direction while she continued to dance in a seductive way, oblivious to her surroundings. My guts twisted with hate toward all the men who looked at her and thought this was fine. Since when had it become okay to dance on a bar top?
I wanted her to see me, only me. Her reaction would tell me if showing up here had been a good or bad idea. She was still dancing with abandon to Marky Mark’s funky beat while I stood a few feet away, waiting for when she spotted me.
When she did, her eyes filled with shock, and then shame. She tried jumping off the counter but ended up tripping, and I almost didn’t make it in time to catch her.
“Hey, cowboy. Where’s the hat?” Her giggles, the scent of her perfume, and her body in my arms made me hope our reunion wouldn’t be a bad thing.
“Val, how much have you had to drink?”
“I stopped counting.” She burped. “What are you doing here? Weren’t you in Boston?”
“I had business to attend to here, and decided to surprise you.”
A faint smile traced her lips. “I’m surprised. Very surprised.”
She was out of breath from all of her dancing, if one would call that dancing. I guided her to a chair. She wobbled toward it on unstable legs and I had her sit. Shit, I hadn’t planned on finding her like this. Val was drunk, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I didn’t know her well enough.
“Stay here, I’ll fetch you some water. You’ve had too much alcohol, Val.”
In shame, she hid her flushed face behind her hands while I tried to get water from the bartender. My eyes darted over to Val every few seconds as I waited. She didn’t seem well. A girl showed up and sat next to Val. A friend, I guessed. While she ran her hand through Val’s blonde hair and spoke to her, I couldn’t hear a single word.
“Sir, your water.”
Was I so easily distracted? Yes. “Thanks.” I took the proffered glass in my hand and went back to my tattoo girl. “Val. Here’s your water.” My voice was loud, so as to be heard over the music.
“Who are you?” the brunette next to her asked.
“I’m her… friend. We met in Boston a few weeks ago.”
She eyed me with uncertainty.
“This is Miles. He’s a cowboy,” Val interjected with another burp.
I wanted to laugh but controlled myself. “I’m a cowboy, just not dressed like one tonight. We don’t always dress with cowboy boots and hat.”
She nodded, probably still trying to understand what was going on between Val and me. If only I knew, I’d let her know.
“I want to go home. I’ll get a cab.” Standing up too fast, Val plopped back down onto the chair holding her head in her hands. “Oh, my gosh, this isn’t a good sign.”
“Let me get Levi or Kyle to drive you.”
“Nuh-uh, they can’t drive. Trust me, Nix.”
“I’ll drive her.” I would rather drive her than let her leave in a cab, drunk.
Nix looked at me in a way which stated she didn’t approve.
“Miles is cool, Nix. Don’t worry. He’ll drive me home,” Val tried to comfort her friend.
“You and me, we’re talking tomorrow. You’re keeping secrets apparently.”
Val’s drunken giggles made me smile while she quipped, “Everyone needs secrets once in a while.” She still seemed shaky as she got up off the stool, so I offered my hand to help her. She took it but soon hooked her arm with mine instead.
“Are you going to be sick or anything?” I hated to ask but didn’t feel like having my truck interior blasted with vomit. I’d been there before and didn’t want to deal with it again.
“No, I’ll most likely pass out first.” She laughed as we walked to the door. “My apartment is on the second floor, right over the Ink Me tattoo shop. Do you know where that is?” Val kept yawning and her eyes were half closed.
Since I had no idea, and was losing time given she was on her way out, I asked for directions. Turned out it wasn’t too far from my hotel.
As I helped her up the stairs, her tattooed arms fascinated me. I absorbed the designs and colors with my gaze. She wore art better than any canvas. It covered her arms, and to my surprise, I found it damn sexy. The proximity between us drove me crazy. A sort of tension had been building since we’d gotten into the truck. Come on, man, you’re smarter than that. I should stop myself from wanting her, but something told me it was too late.
Val retrieved the keys from her small handbag and tried her hardest to unlock the door. When the door opened, she could say goodbye and I might never see her again, or she could invite me in. My main concern was her well-being. I wanted to make sure she was in bed safe before I left.
“So, um… you can come in,” she said and pulled my arm to coax me inside her apartment.
“Thanks for the kind invite,” I joked, facing her with mere inches separating us.
“Are you going to kiss me goodnight, Miles?”
Val took my breath away, and I wanted to, but I couldn’t. “I want you to remember our first kiss, Val. You’ve had too much to drink,” I told her while looking at her lips for a brief moment. The desire rising inside me was getting harder to control.
“I thought that’s what you wanted, Miles. We’ve been talking for a while now.”
The words coming out of her mouth infuriated me. How could she think such a thing? I never let her believe I was talking to her in hopes of getting something from her. “I’m going to pretend it’s the vodka talking, because right now, I’m—”
She cut me off by stepping in closer to me. I closed my mouth and stopped breathing. What the hell am I doing here? The tips of our noses touched, we were so close.
“I want to kiss you, Miles. May I?” Her lips rubbed against mine, and I let out the air in my lungs because I couldn’t deal with this tension. She pushed against my mouth. I felt her suck my lip in and then her tongue slowly moistened as she tasted me.
“Val. We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Just one kiss, Miles. One tiny kiss.” Her green eyes pleaded with me, and she won.
I kissed her back, promising myself it would be one kiss. Just one. She deserved that from me, and more. However, if anything more were to ever happen between us, it wouldn’t be with her drunk to the bone. Taking advantage of drunken women was something else that wasn’t my thing. My family brought me up with better manners than that.
Shit. The second I started kissing her I knew I’d gotten myself in trouble. Both her hands gripped my shirt and pulled me closer. I tried keeping some distance, but when I wouldn’t move, she stepped closer.
“Don’t hold back, Miles.” The vibration of her voice tickled against my lips.
“Val…” How long would I be able to resist her? “I shouldn’t.”
“Miles, I’m asking.” Val smiled at me, her teeth gripping her bottom lip, which was pretty fucking loveable. She’d seen right through me and the soft spot I’d developed for her, because she crushed her lips against mine. We kissed for a second time.
It didn’t take long before my slipping control was replaced by lust, and I returned the kiss without looking back. The softness of her pink lips against mine had me lost. Did I want this? Hell, yes, I did, but this was ten times better than what I’d expected—and we were only kissing.
Val’s arms wrapped around my shoulders and her hands ruffled through my hair. There was no way this would end with just a kiss; I didn’t know if I could stop her.
Or if I wanted to.
Reaching for her waist, my fingers touched her warm skin. Small shiver bumps formed under the tips of my fingers. My touch was affecting her as much as hers was me. Stop
this, Miles. Be better than this, I kept telling myself but couldn’t follow through. As soon as she touched me, the attraction became stronger. Her perfume, which reminded me of citrus and watermelon, smelled fresh and had me hooked right away. The way her long blonde hair fell over her shoulders to lay against her arms made me want to play with the strands, run my hand through it, and hold it tight against the back of her head while we kissed. Desires grew within me along with my need for her. There was no doubt about any of these facts, but I knew, deep down, giving in tonight was a terrible idea.
Out of air, I pulled away. We were both breathing hard. I had to say something before it was too late but also had to be careful not to hurt her. “Val,” I began.
She rubbed her thumbs against my jaw and then over to my lip. “You’re kind of hot, cowboy.” In one swift move her shirt was gone, followed by her black satin bra, and then she was throwing herself at me.
Before I knew it, my shirt was gone, too, and my jeans were about to be undone by this drunk wild woman who I was attracted to. A lot. Her breasts… I wanted to touch them, feel them against the palm of my hand. Why am I fighting what my heart and mind want? Which one was stronger than the other?
“Follow me, cowboy.” Val pulled my hand and I followed, tripping over the jeans still around my ankles.
“Hold on, wildfire.” My voice came out weak, and too quiet for her to hear.
Once we reached her small bedroom, she pushed me down onto her bed. We’d passed the point of no return, and it was too late to stop anything. Val straddled me, our gazes locked with intense chemistry, and my desire for her was too great to leave. My need to feel her, all of her, alive against me had reached an unstable level. I was jumping headfirst into something that might be perfect, or it might be a total nightmare.
VAL
“What the hell?” I said first thing when I opened my eyes and the sunrays hurt like a dozen piercing needles. Then I felt someone move next to me. Surprised, I flinched and looked over to see who was sleeping next to me. Cowboy? Oh my god, Miles.
He watched me like I were a grenade waiting to explode. I felt naked.
Wait, I am naked, and so is he.
Unable to think, I asked the inevitable question. “Did we..?” Heat rose to my cheeks while I tried covering my breasts with the purple cotton sheet.
“We did.” A hard look appeared on his face. Regret, maybe?
I sighed. Not knowing what to say sucked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I had the best sex of my life last night, and the girl I had it with doesn’t even remember a second of it. Talk about frustrating and embarrassing. I should’ve known better and stopped when there was still time. I– I think I’m going to go. I’d rather do the walk of shame now than later. You’re not going to be sick, are you? Do you have a hangover or anything?”
“Miles. No, please, don’t go.” I tried to hold him back but he was already up and looking quite frustrated with himself. His long sigh echoed off the walls of my empty bedroom.
“I’m sorry, Val. We shouldn’t have done that last night.” The concern showing on his face had the effect of thunder and lightning in my head.
I’d had way too much to drink last night. Thanks to Levi and his friend Presley. Who was that guy anyway? Memories of asking Miles to kiss me came flooding back, of how good I’d felt at that precise moment, and the shivers that had run down my body when his fingers lingered on me. Were those feelings real, or had they been enhanced by the multiple shots of vodka I’d had? This situation could qualify for most embarrassing in the history of one-night-stands. Wait. I had a one-night-stand with Cowboy? Oh, gosh. I hadn’t planned to see him again, let alone so drunk. Sex this soon after leaving John wasn’t a good idea. Last night, when I’d watched my friends and their boyfriends together, I’d envied them. I wanted to feel loved, wanted to be touched and kissed. Had cowboy been my Band-Aid? Oh, dear! My mind might have been blurry, but I hadn’t forgotten everything. Right?
“Wait, give me a minute.” He waited the minute I’d asked for, maybe, as I tried to calm myself and think.
While he pulled on his boxer briefs, I got out of bed. My naked body ached from all the dancing, or maybe it was the late night bedroom activities.
“You’re kind of hot, cowboy.” When I grinned, his urgency-filled eyes met mine. “Memories are coming back,” I confessed with a shrug.
He sighed, but then looked relieved. “I didn’t want to look like a bad guy, even if I feel like one.”
“Why would you feel like that?” I asked taking a step toward him.
“I never planned on having sex with you the same night I found you, if at all. Not to mention you were under the influence of at least half of bottle of vodka, if not more… well, that makes me the asshole here.”
I shook my head, refusing to agree with his point of view. “No, I’m pretty sure I asked for it. It’d make me feel a lot better if you didn’t regret it.” I paused while we looked at each other for a couple of seconds. “Why did you come find me, Miles?”
“I had to see you again. This week has been one of the hardest I’ve dealt with in a long time, and I had this… need, I guess, to see if you were okay. There’s a little more to it. I just really wanted to see you again.”
A small smile appeared at the corner of his lips. He stood before me in his underwear while I was completely naked, and he bared his soul to me. I could see right through him. All this time, he’d been worried about my broken heart, and me.
“Our texts,” I added without an explanation.
“I had to make sure, see you, and then maybe, in the future, I’d hoped we could work on building a friendship. Or something.”
“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” An amused tone matched the smile in my voice, which said it all. I had to control myself.
“I’m asking you to not form an opinion of me based on the poor decision I made last night.” Confusion glimmered in his pale grey eyes. “I mean, last night was great, excellent even, but I should have stopped it.”
“Stop, Cowboy. We’re both adults, and we both enjoyed it. I was still conscious, sort of. At least I wasn’t comatose, so there’s no need for you to explain yourself. Look, I did everything I could to seduce you. I… erm… I wanted last night to happen, and you took me to seventh heaven quite a few times. Trust me, we’re all good.” My face had to be a deep shade of deep red by the time my speech was done. His cheeks flushed with color, too, and he chuckled, timid. So freaking cute.
“Okay, then, we’re all good.”
I nodded and pushed Miles back in the bed. “Stay there, I’ll be right back.”
Pain relief for my head was priority number one considering my skull felt close to cracking open like an eggshell. Taking two Advil before going back to my bedroom was the smartest thing I could do to help with the hangover.
“It’s way too early. Unless you have somewhere you need to be, I suggest we get a couple more hours sleep.” Lifting his t-shirt from the floor, I put it on and then met him on the bed. “Aren’t you tired?”
“Exhausted is more the answer you’re looking for.” He yawned.
I laid on my side with my back to him, hoping he’d get the hint. Being held in his arms was right at the top of my list now. Cuddling, yes. The mattress moved behind me, his legs slid between mine, and then his arms wrapped over my waist and underneath my t-shirt.
“Thank you,” I mumbled with contentment.
“What for?”
“This. You.” As I yawned, I decided there was no need to explain why.
Miles made me feel great. Something about him made me want to be touched and cared for. His lips rubbed against my neck once or twice, which I liked a lot. His body warmed me up in no time and I was soon lost in the land of dreams.
Deep asleep, my dreams were haunted by Miles and last night’s events, in particular the way he’d looked at me. No matter how much he’d seemed into it or lost in the moment, there’d alway
s been a hint of sadness. Why? Was his past still haunting him? He had mentioned having a hard week, and scenarios ran wild through my head while I wondered what type of man he was. While we had spent a night together, we were still at the beginning of getting to know each other.
Wide awake myself, I waited for Miles to stir. So far, Miles had been the one always making sure I was hanging in there. Now, it was my turn to make sure he was okay. I searched through our text message history to pass the time and look for clues I might’ve missed before. Not once had he let on something could’ve been wrong. A grin escaped my lips a couple of times when re-reading some of the cute words he’d written to me:
Take care, tattoo girl. I’m here if you need someone to talk to.
Are you flirting with me, Val?
I’ll be driving most of the day but I’m just a phone call away.
Reviewing the messages also showed me that, yes, I had flirted with him. The night I decided to leave John, I was lost and hurting, but I’d seen in Miles something special that lit up inside me and him. When he’d sung that song to me, the meaning behind the gesture, I’d thought he had to be the most thoughtful person on this planet.
I’d started to believe John and I were already drifting apart when I left. We wanted different things. He wanted to settle down and be the man of the house, the provider with his good job. Whenever we’d talked about me, it sounded like he wanted me to be a stay at home mom. I didn’t want that. Was it wrong to think I deserved a life filled with the things I wanted to do? Goals to reach and all. Kids were not in the cards for me; I wasn’t ready to be a mom. Not now anyway.
Miles still sleeping, I slipped out of bed to use the bathroom and then get something to eat. While I cooked some eggs with cheese and shallots, I snacked on a couple of Starburst candies. The red ones were my addiction. I couldn’t spend a day without eating them and hated sharing them. While not a healthy way to start the day, they helped my stomach settle from the hard liquor abuse.