by Jude Ouvrard
Back in the hotel room, I felt lonely as fuck. Soon, like today or tomorrow, I would need to find myself a permanent place to stay. There was no point in wasting my money on hotel rooms when I could rent an apartment or loft. The thought of living with Val crossed my mind more than once. It’d be the logical thing to do, but it was too soon for her. Not for me. She was it. The rest of my life was going to be spent with this girl.
The rest of the afternoon drifted by while I applied for jobs and contacted a few veterinary clinics, which left me feeling satisfied and accomplished. Everything was going well, now I just had to wait for phone calls over the next few days. I’d even set up an apartment viewing for tomorrow morning, in the same area as Val, too. Today had been productive; it was about damn time some normality resumed. My country singing days were on hold for now. While I loved singing, the country sound didn’t really fit in Seattle, so I’d continue it on as a hobby.
At five o’clock, my phone distracted me from my musical wanderings. Setting the guitar down, I switched to my phone. “Hey, sweetheart.”
“Hey, cowboy. Are you meeting me at my apartment soon?”
“Shit, I still need to grab a shower. I was playing my guitar. I’m sorry.” Losing track of time when playing music was normal for me, except this time, the timing sucked. “Give me twenty minutes, and I’ll be there, okay?”
“Okay. See you then.”
Deciding there was no time to shave, I kept my two-day-old beard. Anyway, she’d seemed to like it, so, why not? Paul Spector. I’d need to take a look at him on Google. Who the hell was the guy? My curiosity took over and I checked him out using my phone real quick. It took a few seconds but I laughed out loud when I found out who he was. Val had a good sense of humor. We did look the same, with the scruff, but I was no serial killer.
I walked out of the rundown hotel room wearing dark blue jeans and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up with my belongings in hand. . That should do, right? As I reached my truck I considered wearing my cowboy hat, but decided that would be too much. In Montana, I would have worn it; I used to wear it all the time. From sunrise to sunset, as my grandmother would say.
Val was waiting for me on the sidewalk when I pulled up. I parked the truck, and she hopped in.
“You’re hot, cowboy,” she said, blushing. “I missed you this afternoon.”
As I took in her beautiful smile, she made me feel so many emotions. “I missed you, too.”
“Can I get a kiss now?”
We kissed with passion under the watchful eyes of the pedestrians passing by. After minutes of heated kissing and touching, I pulled away, my breathing hard, and asked, “Where do I go from here?” Toning down the tension in the truck, I had to adjust myself in the seat and chuckled at my discomfort.
She had changed clothes, into a slinky black dress, and looked gorgeous.
“Keep going straight for now. I’ll let you know when you need to turn,” she said and placed her hand on my thigh.
While I watched her from the corner of my eye, she twisted a strand of hair around her finger and chewed on the inside of her lips. “Why are you so nervous, Val?”
“What do I tell my parents once we get there? Are you my friend, my good friend, or my boyfriend?”
I should’ve known she would worry about that. Introducing me to her parents must be as stressful for her as it was for me.
“You can call me whatever you want. But if I get to choose, I’d tell them I’m your boyfriend.”
Her eyes met mine. “I was hoping you were going to say that. It sounds like we’re in elementary school, I know. With John, since we’d been together since high school, I never had to introduce him. Everyone already knew him. You know?”
“It’s okay. At least we’re official now. There is no turning back,” I teased.
Parking my truck in front of her parent’s house, I stepped out and walked around to open her door. After helping her out, I gave her a quick kiss before we headed inside. My heart bounced against my rib cage, and for a short moment, I thought I was going to be sick. I had to man up. I’d be fucking thirty soon, this shouldn’t be affecting me.
Val turned the doorknob and walked inside her childhood home. “Come in,” she whispered in a soft voice.
I did, and then closed the door behind me. There wasn’t a sound in the house, which was a tad frightening.
“Mom? Dad?” Val called out into the silent structure.
Heels clicked on the floor in response, and soon a woman who was the spitting image of Val appeared. “Valerie Emma, my beautiful girl. I’m so happy to have you here.”
“Mom, this is my boyfriend Miles. Miles, this is my mother, Diana.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Miles.” She gave me a single kiss on the cheek followed by a quick hug as a man appeared at the end of the hall.
That must be Val’s father, I thought.
“Dad,” Val said, excitement in her expression while the man looked uncomfortable seeing me standing there.
Suddenly, it became clear, and I wished this was a bad dream I could wake up from. John stepped out from behind her father with an arrogant smile plastered on his face.
Could I hate a man I barely knew? That would be a definite yes.
Val’s hand squeezed mine hard. Her ex-boyfriend had trapped her.
“What the fuck, John?” Her voice didn’t hide the frustration or rush of emotions running through her.
What am I supposed to do now? What is my place here?
VAL
“Your language, Valerie. John flew in from Boston to speak with you and try to fix your relationship. That’s not any way to welcome him or behave.”
I wanted to scream. “Mom, you knew about this, and didn’t try to stop it?”
John looked his usual self. Polo, khakis, and the perfect hair. Yes, I’d once loved that look, but it had become boring. Miles tried to let go of my hand, but I held him tighter. He wasn’t leaving my side. Hell, no. John needed to leave this house as soon as possible, or I would.
“Valerie, I think you should listen to what John has to say,” Dad said.
I shook my head refusing to hear a single word.
“What are you doing, Val? You’ve replaced me already?” The tone of John’s voice sent a shiver all the way down my spine.
“We had a good time together, John. We dated for years and shared many beautiful times. There was no way for me to stay in Boston, it wasn’t part of the plan. I missed home way too much. What we had has ended. I ended it, and I no longer feel anything for you.”
A small smile crept across John’s face while he stared at Miles but asked me, “Would you say the same thing if he wasn’t standing next to you?”
“Yes. We’re done, John. Go back to Boston. You’ve wasted your time, and mine, this evening.”
“Damn. That hurt, sweet pea.”
“Don’t call me that. It’s Val or Valerie to you now.”
“Jesus, what have you done to my girl?” he barked at Miles, his tone laced with sarcasm.
Next to me, Miles’ breaths came quicker and louder.
John turned to me. “I’m here to take you back, sweet pea. Take what’s mine. Your dad even agreed with me. We’re going to get engaged, and everything else will fall back into place, right where we left off from.”
“No!” I yelled. “Don’t you understand? I’m not in love with you. I love him.” I pointed toward Miles. “Mom, Dad, if you don’t kick John out now, I’m leaving.”
No one said anything. My mom seemed upset, and my dad, who had always been fond of John, didn’t seem impressed by my dramatic reaction.
“We’re never going to be engaged, John. I have all these plans with someone else now. Just let it go. Let me go.” I turned to Mom. “Don’t call me. Wait for me to call. It may be awhile before I can get over this.” Pulling Miles toward me, I announced, “Come on, Miles. We’re getting out of here.”
/> I’d never been so ashamed in my life. Nothing could beat how bad I felt right now, for me and for Miles. The anger boiling inside me, because of my parents no less, would lead to a break down. I doubted I’d be able to hold back the tears much longer.
“Sweet pea, please come back inside. I’m not done talking, and dinner’s ready.”
“Screw you, John, you fucking piece of shit,” I said, yelling every single word to make sure everybody heard me.
Miles increased his pace to the car to get my door opened before I got there, but John ran after me.
“Miles,” I said right before John grabbed my arm and yanked me close to his side.
“I don’t recognize you. You were never a bitch before.”
He smelled of hard liquor, and I could tell he’d drunk a lot, my Dad’s whiskey no doubt. My dad was fond of his whiskey bottles.
“What happened to you, sweet pea? Answer me!” he yelled the last and a vein in his forehead bulged.
“Let me go, John.”
Miles’ hand slid over my waist as he moved past me. “She said to let her go.”
John’s grip on my arm became stronger. In that moment, I knew he wasn’t going to let go without a fight, and I regretted bringing Miles here with me.
“Fuck you, asshole. Get lost. I have to fix things up with my fiancée,” John tried to say. His speech was getting sloppier by the minute.
Fiancée? Absolutely not. “You’re delusional, John. Let me go.”
I heard someone groan before getting pulled into the grass, where I fell on my side. Men’s voices yelled around me and I closed my eyes trying to be as small as possible. By the sounds, I could tell someone had taken a huge hit on the face. John, I hoped.
In the mix of voices, my brother’s voice rang out. “What the fuck is going on here?” Ed snapped.
“Ed, please. Stop them,” I ordered.
“Come here, Val. Move over here.”
Everything happened so fast. I heard him call John’s name and a few more groans followed.
“I was never able to stand you, loser. Get the fuck out,” my brother ordered John.
Miles reached me, and pulled me to my feet, asking me if I was okay. The truth was that my body had turned numb and my heart couldn’t take the drama anymore. I had to go now.
“Can we go home now? Please, Miles. I have to get away from here.”
We started walking to his truck, and Ed followed us. “I’m sorry. I promise I didn’t know any of this.” He gave me a quick hug before letting me sit in the car and directing his attention on Miles. “Hey, I’m sorry, man. You didn’t deserve this kind of night. My parents were out of line.”
“No worries. You should know, and you can tell your parents, too, that I love your sister. I’d better go take care of her now. Night,” Miles said, and then joined me in the truck.
Tears had already started sliding down my face. My family had turned this night into a real disaster. Miles put the car in drive and hurried back to my home. Once there, he brought me up the stairs, unlocked the door, and carried me straight to my bedroom. With tender, understanding touches he undressed me while I cried, unable to control myself.
“I’m so sorry, Miles. I swear I didn’t know about this. Please forgive me for putting you in that situation.”
His lips feathered kisses over my cheek, removing each and every tear from my skin. “I know, sweetheart, I know. It doesn’t change anything about us.” He grabbed one of his t-shirts from my dresser and tugged it down over my head. “Get in bed. I’ll take care of you, okay?”
Miles always cared for me, but there was something about him and his voice tonight that seemed more restrained than usual, controlled. Something wasn’t right. Placing my hand on the edge of his jaw, I let my thumb caress his lip. “What about you? Are you okay?”
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and forced a smile. “I have you, Val. I’m all good.”
“This isn’t right. Talk to me.” Ignoring my own pain, my own tears, I begged him to share with me.
He nodded his head toward the bed then pulled me onto the mattress with him. We both nestled under the pile of sheets and blankets. “I just want to lie down with you and feel you next to me.”
I wanted to tell him I loved him, because I did, and because I thought it would save me from the embarrassment of our night. “Miles.”
“Shh. It’s okay, tattoo girl.”
For the next little while, he played with my hair and drew over the design marked on my arm with his finger. The tears slowed down and my burning eyes became tired, heavy. Miles let me fall asleep while holding me close to him. At some point, it got cold and the bed became too big.
I woke up to the smell of food cooking. Something Italian, judging by the heavy scent of garlic in the air. When I rose out of the bed, my body hurt everywhere.
“Hey, cowboy,” I whispered when I found Miles in my kitchen.
“Hey.” Miles still wore the small cold smile from earlier; I was beginning to hate it. “Are you hungry?” he asked. No doubt he’d heard my stomach growling all the way from the bedroom.
“I am.”
“I made some spaghetti. I went through your cabinets and that was pretty much all I could cook with what you’ve got.”
The shame I felt at his kindness had me on the brink of crying again. “I don’t deserve this. Not after what I put you through.”
Miles set the plate down on the small table and then reached for me. “Valerie.” He’d never called me by my first name. No one ever did but my parents. “It wasn’t your fault. John had a plan, which didn’t include me, and he’d been drinking—never a good thing. When I showed up and everything mixed together, it resulted in what we went through. Nothing we could do about it.”
“I really, really like you, Millard.”
He chuckled. “Only Levi and my grandparents call me Millard.” His lips pressed a kiss against the tip of my nose. “I more than really like you, Val.”
I couldn’t hold back my smile any longer. My only desire was to be with him and never let him go. “Stay with me, Miles, here in my apartment.”
“I think we should let tonight settle in our minds and think about that option more clearly over the next few days. We have to take things slow, Val.” Miles was avoiding my eyes.
What is happening here? “Why?”
Miles didn’t say anything which frustrated me. Sitting at the table and taking a sip of water, he looked thoughtful. “I don’t want you to regret your choice.”
“What choice?”
“Me.” No emotion reflected in his voice. If Death had a voice, it would sound like Miles’ did right now.
“What are you saying exactly? Didn’t you see how crazy and arrogant he was?”
“Only a man in love, desperate to have his girl back, would travel across the country and plan a dinner surrounded by her loved ones to win her back. I may not like the guy, but he loves you. You loved him, too. Once. You have to be certain that you’re—”
“Stop. I decided to leave. You know that. If there is anyone on this planet who knows that, it’s you,” I cut him off, refusing to hear any more of his meaningless speech.
“I’m sorry.”
We didn’t talk any more until our plates were empty.
For at least an hour, I tried to shake away the unwelcome feeling something was about to go wrong. John had no idea where I lived, so he wouldn’t show up here. Besides, the door was locked anyway.
Following dinner, we snuggled on my couch and watched movies on Netflix. I hated how quiet Miles was, but loved how our bodies fit so well together while we cuddled. He kissed me every once in a while, which left warm jolts of pleasure in my body each time. The vibration of his heart against my back relaxed me to the point where I soon battled not to fall asleep again.
“I have to be at the shop tomorrow morning. I’m assisting Kyle with his appointments. It’s nerve-wracking.” The mere thought of it gave me cramps.
“You’ll be alright, sweetheart. They know, just like I do, that you can and will do this.”
“Will you let me tattoo you one day?” Please say yes.
He chuckled and I could tell it came from the heart. “Yes, I will. When you’re ready. Are you going to learn on pig skin?”
That idea made me sick. “I hope not. I’ll probably get sick if I have to.”
“You would make a terrible veterinarian,” he joked, but it was the truth.
I wouldn’t be able to do his job. The surgeries, and seeing the animals hurt, would make me cry. I’m too sensitive.
“Absolutely. Of that there is no doubt in my mind.” I laughed.
We kept the conversation light until I became too exhausted to talk. Miles watched the sports channel while I thought about what happened tonight. Maybe if I hadn’t overreacted, the evening would have taken a different direction. It was too late now. I couldn’t change anything, and I still felt so much anger toward my mom for not stopping John. How could she have agreed to this? She knew I had moved on with my life.
Darkness and dreamland took over my tired body. I woke up in the middle of the hall while being transported to my bed by Miles.
“Cowboy.”
“Shh, sweetheart. You’ll be much more comfortable in your bed than on the couch.”
“I just want to be with you.”
He snickered. “I’ll be with you, don’t worry.”
Slowly, he placed me in bed for the second time tonight. Rolling onto my side, I waited for him to pull me to his chest. It didn’t take him long. Miles turned off the lights, made sure the door was locked, and then joined me. Like I’d wished, he wrapped me in his arms, gluing me to his chest as his legs hooked over mine. After the night we’d had, this was everything I wanted and needed. Just him.
“I love you, Valerie Emma Lee.”
They were the three words I needed to hear to make my heart feel alive again. After he’d spoken them, a sob escaped my mouth. “Miles, I love you, too.”