NORA: I’m cooking pizzas if you’re interested. I promise not to burn my kitchen down. You and Charlotte are free to come over.
Then she held her breath. No response. The jitters resurfaced. Did she have a crush on Charlotte’s uncle? No, that would be silly and way too quick.
“Mom?” Graham inched closer to the checkout.
Why didn’t Jake text back? This was ridiculous. She couldn’t have a crush on someone she’d just met. But she could think he was cute. Still, Nora gave one last hopeful stare at her phone and willed a yes reply to appear.
Nothing.
A hollow knot of disappointment burrowed itself into her stomach. That hadn’t been there in a long time. She placed the two pizzas on a conveyor belt and tucked the basket underneath as they waited on the woman in front of them.
There could be many reasons he didn’t write back. Maybe he was driving to eat already. Or perhaps she’d been too judgmental when they first met, and he didn’t want to have dinner with her and Graham.
Ping.
The text message notification brought a barrel of anticipation that Nora wanted to ignore. There were too many parents and friends who might send a text, but there was no reasoning with the swarm of fluttering butterflies racing through her veins.
Nora swiped her phone’s screen and saw his name then two words.
JAKE: Sounds good.
She rocked back on her heels, biting down a smile. “Hey, Graham? Run and get two more pizzas.”
He didn’t have to be told twice to run free in the grocery store. The kid blasted to the frozen food aisle almost as quickly as her heart raced now that Jake and Charlotte were joining them for dinner.
Another text popped up.
JAKE: If it’s not a problem. No pity meals for us.
A pity meal? Who was he kidding? Of all the reactions she might have had since Coco had dropped the kitchen firebomb, pity wasn’t on the list.
NORA: We’ll be home in 15 minutes. Pizza will be on the table in less than an hour.
She pinged her home address to him as Graham came back with two more pizzas and tossed them onto the conveyor belt. Nora pulled out her store coupon for frozen pizza and chewed on the inside of her cheek as they were rung up and she paid.
JAKE: Pizza, huh? I have a funny story to tell you.
Since they hadn’t walked the short distance from their home to the grocery store, they didn’t need a bag for their pizzas. She and Graham carried two boxes each to her Subaru as he hopped along the edge of the sidewalk and she wondered how pizza might be funny.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Do you ever stop bouncing?” Jake made overexaggerated head motions that followed Charlotte’s jumps as he held her hand.
“Not really.” It was as though she had springs on the bottom of her shoes, bounding with every step. “Mommy wanted to bottle me up.”
He squeezed Charlotte’s hand as she hopped toward Nora’s front door. “She’d have made a killing.”
Charlotte stopped abruptly. “Mom didn’t kill anyone. She said you did sometimes. But they were bad guys. But she died and wasn’t killed. That’s different than a homicide, did you know that?”
Jake’s lips parted, and he was unsure where to start. Suddenly he felt more out of place than he had thirty seconds ago, and he hadn’t known that was possible. He didn’t have a clue how to talk to Charlotte, much less raise her. If this was the kind of situation they’d find themselves in on her best friend’s front sidewalk, what would happen when life really got tough?
Jake cleared his throat. “Make a killing, er. It’s like an expression. It means to do well.”
“Oh,” Charlotte perked up. “Like an idiom.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” More like he was an idiot. Idiom? Was there a Google Translate option for “smart kid”?
“Like a penny for your thoughts?”
“I think so.” He didn’t know what constituted an idiom.
“People I don’t know say that to me when I don’t want to talk to them.”
Jake crouched down. “I get that. A lot. It comes with being in the military. Sometimes there are things that I saw or thought that I had to process on my own or with someone who saw the same things as me, and when others ask me to talk about it? They’d never be able to relate.” He shrugged. “I never knew what to say.”
“Are you sad my mom is gone?” she asked quietly.
He nodded then scooped her into his arms before walking on his knees to the first step on Nora’s porch. “Yup, snuggle bug.”
“Does it hurt your insides?”
He kept nodding but this time made the motion bigger. “Sure does.” Then he kissed the top of her head. “What about you?”
“People I don’t know cry in front of me, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
Hmm. “Why?”
“They act like they want to make me feel better. But they want the consolation.”
“Consolation, huh?” he asked quietly. “Big word with big meaning.”
She leaned against him. “But it’s true.” Charlotte perked up, excited. “It adds insult to injury.”
He had to laugh, despite the topic. “Worked in an idiom there, huh?”
“Yeah.” She nodded quickly. “That was one, right?”
“I think so. But we’d probably have to ask your English teacher if it’s an idiom or a, I don’t know, cliché, or a phrase—”
“I don’t have an English teacher,” she said.
“You don’t?” His forehead bunched. “Right. Because you’re in kindergarten.”
“I have reading workshop,” Charlotte added.
As if they were discussing semantics in kindergarten. Or maybe they were. He had no clue. “Look, back to your mom. I’m always here, and I’m always going to get you.”
“Because you love her.”
“Yup.”
“She was like my twin, like your grandma and my dad. Ally and I did everything together.”
“Like me and Graham.”
“Maybe so.” He gave her a squeeze. “Anything else we should touch on before we go inside?”
Charlotte leaned back, deep in thought. “Yes.”
“What’s that?”
“You should know that there’s a spot under the staircase. That’s the best hiding place. And Graham’s room is cooler than mine. His pillows have arms that sit up by themselves. He can beat me eating more peanut butter crackers. But I can outdrink him in a water contest.”
For all the words and idioms, she was just a little kid. “I’ll teach you a couple tricks. You can take him in peanut butter crackers in a month. Easy.”
“You sound like my mom.” She wrapped her tiny arms around him. “Love you.”
Then Charlotte popped up and rushed through the front door as he pushed off the stairs.
He rubbed his sternum, his mind heavy with the past as much as the present, as he followed Charlotte’s path up the front porch stairs.
But it wasn’t just discussing Ally that had his chest knotted. Anxiety had unfurled the moment he turned his dually over and backed the truck out of the garage. About what, though? Nora?
“We’re—” He stepped into the warm hallway as Graham whooshed past Jake, grabbing Charlotte in his wake. “Here.”
When Jake looked over from the tailspin that was two quick kids, he was face-to-face with one beautiful and very in-the-know Nora. And if her face wasn’t trying to hide that she’d heard the gossipy details of a fire that had to have been blown out of proportion, Jake might’ve gaped a little longer at her slender form, attractive in her oversized sweater and slim jeans. He silently rebuked himself to keep his mind from wandering more. For as modestly as she was dressed, his palms itched to learn how soft her sweater felt. Standing alone in the hall with a single mother who’d just saved the day--or at least their dinnertime--he took a deep breath. He only half admitted to himself that she looked prettier in fuzzy socks and slim jeans than the women he saw the last time he wen
t on leave who sported high heels and a short skirt.
Nora had both hands wrapped around a mug, and she took a sip from it before she nodded him inside. “Careful, or they might plow you over.”
“I can take it.”
She led the way toward the kitchen, past a staircase where he eyed the best hiding spot ever and heard her laugh. “No comment.”
He chuckled as well, breathing in the mouthwatering smell of melting cheese and baking dough. “I can only imagine what you heard.”
She put the mug on the counter. “I can only imagine the entire back side of the house is gone.”
He coughed out a laugh. Even that was a bit much for town gossip. “Man, that story grew legs. The town chatterboxes don’t play around.”
“Coco at her best.”
He snorted softly. “I know Coco.”
Nora stepped to the side, waving him in. “A handsome guy like you? Of course you know who she is, because she knows who you are.”
Handsome. He smiled. Again. As though he was the kid who left Tidings fresh out of high school and hadn’t had years of seasoning to cool his reaction to the pretty girl smiling at him.
Nora’s house was almost as Charlotte had described it. Based on how much fun she’d said she had there, Jake half expected to see slides coming through the walls and tic-tac-toe boards painted on the floors. It was decidedly Northwest and fresh. Natural wood and windows and the green from the outdoors met his gaze in every direction. “Nice place. I had visions of a carousel.”
She checked the oven’s timer. “Why’s that?”
“This is her favorite place ever.”
Nora grinned. “Graham would say the same about your place. Please don’t burn the rest down.”
“You’ve got jokes.” He took a seat on a barstool at the counter that divided the kitchen and dining area. “It feels off to call Ally’s place mine.”
She picked up her mug, but instead of sipping from it, Nora held it toward him.
“Are you offering me your drink?”
“Nope.” She laughed.
His eyes dropped to the mug. Giant tacos with a range of emotional faces decorated the face of it, and in the middle was scrawled WANNA TACO BOUT IT? He raised his chin. “Really?”
“If this mug doesn’t get you talking, I can find a new one.” She cocked an eyebrow and turned to a cupboard. “Speaking of which, do you want tea? It’s decaf.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
Nora placed an empty mug in front of him. “Then you can just keep it by you for now.”
He picked up a mug showing a Lego man lying on a Lego bed, talking to a Lego shrink with a thought bubble. I keep having this dream that my feet are stuck. I can’t move. Nothing around me changes. “If this is a psychological test or trick to get me to open up about my feelings, I rebuke you.”
She laughed. “Just calling it like I see it. Stubborn.”
“I just had an intense moment on your front porch. I’m emo’ed out for the moment.”
Nora paused. “Charlotte’s okay?”
“I remind her of Ally, apparently.” Jake cracked a smile. “That and she schooled me in grammar, SAT words, and idioms between the time we left my front door and walked through yours. I had to do something to assert my… relevance?” He winked.
“If she’s talking to you, you’re relevant.”
Maybe that was what he should have gathered from their heart-to-heart about people she didn’t know and their consolations.
The timer buzzed, and Nora grabbed mitts and opened the oven. A burst of heat and savory-scented goodness rolled through the kitchen.
“That smells great.”
She slid the bottom rack out and removed two small pizzas.
“Can I help?”
She gave him a funny look then turned back to the top rack. “I’ve got it.”
“What?”
“I’ve got it.” Nora slid the pizzas onto the counter, and ding, ding, he remembered that Tidings gossip said he might never live down his kitchen incident.
“I didn’t burn down that house.” He scoffed. “Not a single wall is singed. Maybe let Coco know.”
Nora tossed her oven mitts on the counter. “It’s your house now.”
“What’d I say?”
“That house.”
Jake shrugged. It was Ally’s house.
Nora walked to the counter bar and leaned on the end. “You’ll find a way to change it from that house to your home.”
Would he?
“If you don’t believe me…” She mimicked his shrug in a playful manner. “Get through today and then talk to me again.”
Nora turned back to the pizza and pulled out a slicer from a drawer, leaving him to his thoughts. His aunt and mom had decided along with Ally that it would be best for Charlotte to stay in the house she grew up in, and he wholeheartedly agreed with their decision. But now it felt funny to live there.
“House, home.” He pushed off the barstool and went over to help. “I see what you did there.”
“I figured out you weren’t a fool.” Nora pointed at a cabinet. “Plates are in there.”
“On some things.” Jake grabbed four and followed her gaze to another cabinet and found glasses. “Roger that.”
A minute later with his hands full, he found peace in setting the table. Some things never changed, whether he laid out forks and knives at home in Tidings or doled out plates and glasses with teammates in a foreign land during downtime on a classified mission.
When he was finished, Nora had a salad in a bowl on the table and pizzas as the centerpiece, ready to serve.
“Not bad, partner.” She lifted her hand to give him a high five.
“It’s been a rough afternoon, but I’m not fragile,” he cracked. “No coddling needed.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have to assume I’m coddling.” She didn’t drop her raised hand, instead wiggling it for attention. “But if you protest too much, I’ll assume you’re in desperate need of pampering.”
He chuckled. “Point made.” He slapped her much smaller hand, and as their fingers brushed, his palm tickled with an urge to clasp her hand.
“Hungry?” She pulled her hand away quickly and shoved both fists into her jeans pockets, pivoting toward the steaming pizza.
He didn’t like how quickly she split. “Hey.”
“Hmm?” Nora rocked on her heels, barely glancing his way.
“Thanks. You could give me so much grief right now, and it’s cool you’re not.”
Slowly, she stopped the heel rock. “I—”
A thunder of footsteps blew into the room, followed by a chorus of “We’re hungry!”
Nora ushered them toward the sink. “Hands! Wash those hands.”
Whatever she had been about to say was gone.
Graham and Charlotte shared a stool in front of the water faucet, making a mess more than killing germs, while Nora filled glasses with milk—including some for him, which he got a kick out of—then they sat around the table as though they each had assigned seats.
The kids took the middle of the rectangular dining table, and Nora headed toward the far end, leaving a vacant end chair for him.
At that moment, he realized he was the stranger in the room. He didn’t know his seat, and he was aware both kids had better table manners than half the men he knew.
Guilt needled him in the ribs. Jake barely knew Charlotte beyond FaceTime, mailed cards, and the rare holiday visit. He loved her with every beat of his heart, but knowing who the kid was, that was different, and sitting at this table… No, they didn’t make him feel like a stranger. More like a friend. Both old and new.
They waited for him to sit. Jake rubbed his chest, rolled his shoulders back, and pulled out the chair at the head of table. The second his butt touched down, Charlotte and Graham chattered with food requests, their unsteady hands reaching for pizza.
He smiled, not expecting this, though he had zero expectations. Literall
y, none.
He hadn’t put one iota of thought into whether Charlotte might have table manners or whether Ally had served meals with… What was a good word? Purpose.
“Salad?” Nora asked.
“Thanks.” Jake took the large bowl Graham shoved his way, passing it toward his niece.
Both kids acted as if they were famished, but they didn’t shovel the dinner down their throats. Again, Jake knew adults who made more of a mess, and it reminded him of something he had learned on surviving boot camp, that meals were solely for consuming calories. Protein and nutrition were secondary while on the job.
He ate his salad in quiet, listening to Charlotte and Graham recount the harrowing drama of the fire drill, and when he had a break, he motioned to the table. “This is really nice, Nora.”
“Nothing, really. We’re glad you’re both here.”
“I’m always here,” Charlotte added.
“Doesn’t change that I like having you at my table, sweet pea.”
Jake swallowed another mouthful of lettuce and tomato and suddenly missed Ally. This was her chair, her daughter, the conversation she was supposed to hear. She was his confidant, and he was her hero. Wasn’t that how they’d always been? Not twins but always wanting to be. Closer than just the sister that she wasn’t, even. Cousins could be that close, and that stabbing in his chest wouldn’t go away.
“What’d you do today?” Charlotte asked him.
He took a quick breath. “Stopped by High Beam.”
“Is it open yet?” Nora asked.
“Soon.”
“I want to drive a tractor.” Graham dropped his fork. “Can you show me?”
Jake lifted a shoulder. “I don’t have a tractor. But if I did, I could show you.”
“Told ya,” Charlotte said.
“It’s an automotive shop,” Nora explained to Graham. “The one you liked to visit.”
Graham perked up. “With all the cool stuff?”
Jake smiled. “You got it. I’ve kept all that too.”
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