What You Left Behind

by Len Webster

  “I don’t know… She did marry you. So I question the legitimacy of her decision making and her intellect.” Julian buttoned his suit jacket and then smirked at the nostril flaring Noel.

  His best friend shook his head as he picked up the ready kettle. “Julian, it’s early in the morning. Don’t piss me off before I go on my honeymoon. Don’t say stupid shit about my wife again. Okay?”

  Julian’s grin widened. He couldn’t help but love that through all their troubles, Noel loved his wife profusely.

  “Okay, I won’t. I’ll just keep it confined to you and Rob.”

  “Thanks. I’d offer you a cup of coffee, but you need to get out of this apartment if you wish to keep this a secret. My wife normally gets up soon. She has a weird body clock thing going,” Noel explained as he placed a tea bag in a mug.

  Julian nodded in agreement. Clara Parker knowing that he and Stephanie had already had sex was something he wasn’t ready to face. She’d no doubt find a way to put off her honeymoon just a bit longer and have them sit down. But that wasn’t what he wanted. Slow and steady, he was going to win Stephanie’s heart back. It had to be him and only him.

  “All right. I’ll go back to Max’s, shower, and change, and then I’ll be over to take you both to the airport. I’ll have to stop by the office and make sure Rogers sees the report I busted my ass over. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  “Max and Rob can’t come because they have to wor—” Julian stopped; he noticed Stephanie’s wide eyes on him. He turned around and stared at the front door of the apartment he had just walked in. He was sure that when he had left over an hour ago, it had been locked.

  “What are you doing here?” Stephanie asked.

  Julian shut the door and ensured that this time it was locked before his attention was back on Stephanie. The confusion gleamed in her eyes, and he smiled at the sight of her. She was in a pair of tight black jeans and a loose blouse. It was the first time he had ever seen her hair down in loose curls. She looked heavenly. Julian glanced around to see that neither Noel nor Clara were in the hallway. He took the few steps needed until his body was close to touching hers. Then he cupped her face and brought her forehead to his lips.

  “Morning,” he greeted once he pulled her face back.

  Stephanie stared at him; her eyes never leaving his before a smile slowly crossed her lips. “Morning.”

  “I could have sworn I locked that door when I left,” he wondered out loud.

  “Oh, Clara went out this morning. She went to go see Liam,” Stephanie replied as she broke their contact and led him into the kitchen.

  When they reached the island bench, Julian noticed Noel out on the balcony. Noel’s tense posture was evident in the way his shirt wrapped tightly around his body.

  “Is he okay?”

  From the corner of his eye, he caught Stephanie shaking her head. “He’s worried. When Clara woke up this morning, she just walked out of their bedroom and said ‘I have to see Liam.’ She hasn’t been back since.”

  The sad tone of her voice had him facing her. He was met with a frown. Julian hated that frown. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work? You faking another sickie, Blondie?” Julian teasingly asked.

  His plans to make her smile worked as a grin replaced the frown she had made. “No. Mona knows that I have to drop them off at the airport. She told me to make today a research day. See what all the billboards on the way to the airport say and advertise.”

  Julian kissed her temple. “Fair enough. Hey, how about you get yourself ready and we’ll leave in a few. I’ll talk to Noel and we’ll get Clara on the way to the car. Okay?”

  As he began to take a step towards the balcony, Stephanie’s hands clutched his arms. He looked down at her to see a questioning expression take hold of her beautiful face.

  “Thank you,” she uttered.

  “For?”

  “For not having sex with me last night.”

  His shoulders sagged and he let out an exaggerated sigh. “Most women don’t thank me for that. Most are thanking God and me for the sex. Or sometimes they get confused and moan the Big Man’s name instead of mine. Honest mistake.”

  To his surprise, a small laugh met his ears.

  “You are so full of shit.”

  Julian inched his face closer to hers. “Oh, yeah? You were one of them, Blondie.”

  The realisation that swept her entire face had him laughing. The way her lips parted and her eyes widened was a memory that would never leave him.

  When she didn’t say anything, Julian cupped her face and let his lips meet hers. Kissing Stephanie was like realising just how easy breathing and blinking could be. You did it because it was right. You did it because it made sense. Kissing Stephanie was both.

  “Now who’s the one who is so full of shit?” he asked against her mouth.

  “Still you,” she moaned before she pushed at his chest and broke contact. “Let me do my makeup and grab my things.”

  Julian leant in and his eyes roamed the surface of her face. “Because you so need it.”

  “Whatever. Could you just deal with Noel?”

  “Fiiine.”

  “Thank you.” She smiled, and before he knew it, he’d watched her bedroom door shut behind her.

  The moment Julian stepped onto the balcony, Noel had turned and gave him a tight smile. The worry in Noel’s eyes was on clear display. Bright and terrifying.

  “How’d you lose your wife, mate?”

  “I didn’t.” Noel sighed. “She’s on that bench outside with him.”

  Julian approached the railing and looked over to see Clara and her ex-fiancé, Liam, sitting on the garden bench. There was nothing to indicate anything was happening between them. From what he could see, they weren’t even speaking.

  “Looks pretty innocent to me,” Julian concluded.

  “I can tell she still feels guilty for leaving him. I can’t help but think of how she’ll handle seeing Andrea.”

  Julian spun around at the worried tone in his friend’s voice. Noel ran his fingers through his hair and then pressed his lips together. The only thing Julian could offer was an attempt at a reassuring smile. No words he could give would release his friend from the guilt his wife held.

  “Clara shouldn’t feel guilty. Andrea broke up with you. Now, come on. Let’s go get your missus and get you on that plane,” Julian suggested.

  Noel slowly breathed out then nodded and made his way back into the apartment. Julian had followed a few steps behind and ensured he’d locked the balcony door behind them. When they had arrived at the kitchen bench, Stephanie was on a barstool glaring at her phone.

  “You ‘right, Blondie?”

  She snapped her focus from her phone to him and Noel. “I’m good. Let’s go or they’ll miss their flight,” Stephanie said, almost relieved. Then she threw her phone into her bag and hopped off the stool.

  “I’ll get our suitcases and Clara’s passport. You two go ahead. I’ll meet you downstairs.” Noel didn’t give either of them a chance to reply as he left the kitchen and headed for his room.

  “You know, he knows about us,” Julian pointed out.

  Stephanie sighed. “I’m going to pretend like he doesn’t. Remember, we’re lying.”

  Julian closed the distance until he was able to wrap his arms around her waist and bring her body close to his. “We’re terrible liars,” he softly said then dipped his face and let his lips flutter over hers.

  Once.

  Twice.

  Three times, he let his lips brush over Stephanie’s before his hands cupped the side of her head and he deepened their kiss. Fire ignited. His chest exploded and soared. His body did a million things. His brain thought a million and one thoughts. Everything was better when he kissed Stephanie. Everything in his life was perfection when she sighed his name. And everything became a disappointment when she pulled back with a light giggle. Just like in Thailand, her giggles did wonders.

  Finding love wasn’t like
finding a needle in a haystack. It was harder. Much harder. It was searching through currents, under crevasses, to the depths and bottoms of all the seas. Finding love was like finding that one perfect grain of sand on the sea floor. Rare and a journey of absolute beauty. What she did caused wanderlust within him. Like she had all those years ago.

  “You think they’re going to be okay?” she asked, worry consumed every aspect of her face.

  Julian brought her closer and then kissed the top of her head. “They’re fine. They’re married now. And plus, they’re super in love. What we do need to worry about is making sure you look at all those billboards for Mona.”

  The concern on her face quickly vanished and amusement reached her eyes. “You know it’s just a pity assignment.”

  He hated that she had used the word pity. Hated the way she had said the word. Hated the way she had formed it into her sentence.

  “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that your employment or the task they have you do is out of pity,” he said. A layer of desperation was clear, even to him.

  She shrugged away from his touch. “It’s pity when you’re only hired because of who your father is.” Stephanie faked a smile that he saw right through.

  “Who is your father?” he asked, curious.

  “A story for another time. Come on; we have a mission today, remember? Get the Parkers to the airport. Do you mind driving? I don’t know if you’re a great driver, but I’m hoping with me in the car you won’t go Daniel Riccardo on me.”

  “I love that you used a Formula One racer in that sentence. And you seriously trust me to drive that BMW of yours?” He furrowed his brows at her.

  Stephanie rummaged through her bag until she pulled out her car keys. “If I can trust my sister-in-law, then I can trust anyone. I have insurance. Of course, I know who Daniel Riccardo is. When your mother takes you to the Monaco Grand Prix every year, you—”

  “Who is your mother?”

  Her eyes widened, and she tensed. Then she blinked several times as if trying to come up with an explanation. Julian wanted to laugh at the way she swallowed hard. Whoever her mother was, he wanted to know her. Because the Monaco Grand Prix was a luxury and definitely not a necessity. He also wanted to know why the mention of her had made Stephanie’s eyes widen and her hesitate.

  The sound of Noel clearing his throat had interrupted them. “You’re both exactly where I left you. Since you’re both here, Julian, do you mind taking Clara’s suitcase down?”

  Julian peered past Stephanie to see Noel with two suitcases in front of him and his arms crossed over his chest. It seemed like Noel was trying to figure out what he and Stephanie had. Julian was sure that Noel knew and that he didn’t like keeping it from his wife. Clara knowing was added pressure that could make Stephanie flight instead of fight. And all he wanted was for her to fight. Fight the way she hadn’t back in Thailand. And fight the way she hadn’t for the years they had been apart. It was time that he fought for the both of them. It was time that he made his intentions clear.

  Julian stepped forward, cupped Stephanie’s face, and kissed her full on the lips. Once. Just enough for her to flinch. And just enough for him not to get lost in her. Then he broke their contact to be greeted with her mouth gaped and her surprise-filled blue eyes on him.

  “Come on, Blondie. We have places to be and places to go. Can’t stay here kissing all day,” Julian teased and then gave her wink.

  When he had made his way to Noel, Julian grasped the handle of Clara’s suitcase and looked at his best friend to see an eyebrow cocked.

  “Bold move,” he pointed out.

  Julian grinned and looked Noel straight in the eye. “Gotta have to be. She’s my all-in.”

  Not sure if I’m drowning or I’ve stopped breathing.

  Or both.

  Julian kissed me.

  In front of Noel.

  Literally kissed me.

  “Blondie, wanna get out of line?”

  Stevie slowly blinked and realised that she was no longer staring at a suitcase but instead at the crotch region of Julian’s jeans.

  “Merde!” she cursed.

  “What does that mean?” he asked humorously.

  She snapped her gaze from that to his smug grin. She hated and loved that stupid grin. She loved the way it made her heart flutter. And definitely hated the way it made her stomach fill with butterflies.

  When she huffed, Julian laughed and then ducked under the retractable belt of the line that led to the Qantas check-in counter.

  “No reason for you to wait in line, Stevie. Why don’t you guys go wait at PJ’s before our folks arrive,” Noel suggested.

  Stevie gazed from Noel to Clara. The ride from the apartment to the airport had been silent. Stevie and Julian had stood by the bench while the married couple quietly spoke. In the end, Clara had shaken her head, kissed her husband, and then got in the car. The tension had been so thick that her issues with Julian seemed childish in comparison.

  “You sure?” she asked Clara rather than Noel.

  Clara nodded and smiled. But that upward turn of her lips hadn’t reached her eyes. Something had happened. And Stevie would hunt Liam down. Sure, she had promised Clara that she would look out for him, but if he had hurt her or jeopardised their marriage, Stevie would burst into his apartment with guns blazing.

  “Come on, Blondie. Let’s get the merde out of here.”

  She snapped her gaze from the acting-out-of-character couple and stared at Julian. “You just said, ‘let’s get the shit out of here,’” she pointed out.

  A large and very proud grin sprawled across his face. “Seems fitting.”

  “Please, Noel. Please don’t be so upset with me,” Clara softly cried.

  “What am I meant to say, baby? I’m fucking thrilled? I’m not. You’re married to me. And you’re making me feel guilty that I am right now,” Noel replied in an angry whisper.

  The moment Stevie heard the hurt in Noel’s voice, she ducked under the line belt and quickly made her way to PJ’s Irish Pub. She hadn’t wanted to turn around. Whatever it was, she had to let them figure it out. They were married now. It was up to them to solve the problems that life threw at them.

  “When I find out what her ex-fiancé did, I’m goin—”

  She paused just short of the entry to PJ’s, interrupting him. “You’re not going to do anything because I’m going to kick his ass!”

  “You’re so adorable being all mad and shit.” Julian chuckled. Then he took her left hand and turned her to face him. Eyes as light blue as his shouldn’t exist. She had never seen that colour before. Not even in his brother’s eyes.

  Stevie smiled and threaded her fingers through his. When they had left the Qantas line, Noel and Clara were towards the back. She figured they had some time to spare. With a small tug, she led him into PJ’s and headed for a table towards the back. The moment he sat down, Stevie stood between his legs, cupped his face, and searched those light blues. She wanted to know every thought he had made since her. She wanted forgiveness. She wanted him to let her go and to keep her. She wanted so much that it wasn’t fair for him.

  “We’re in a shitload of trouble,” she whispered and then brushed the pad of her thumbs across his cheeks.

  The expression on his face softened as he wrapped his hands around her wrists and brought her closer to him. “I think it’s more like we’re in a merde load of trouble.”

  Any French word that passed those lips made her weak. Turned her on. Made her heart ache. And definitely made her speechless. She hated being French. Hated being Collette’s daughter. Hated being Collette’s secret. And hated that she loved that he used French to strengthen her heart’s hold on him.

  She laughed lightly. “I guess it is.”

  “C’est la vie,” he breathed out, bringing her lips closer to his.

  That’s life.

  “You know.” She gazed down at his lips and then at his eyes. “The French don’t really use that expressi
on. It’s more famous with the English—”

  “Those bastards!”

  A kiss between them was about a movement away until she ruined it with a heavy laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked, confused.

  Stephanie felt him attempt to pull back. Sensing that she had hurt his pride, she sat on his lap—her hands never leaving his face.

  “The English, as in people from England, didn’t popularise that phrase. The English language did,” she explained.

  Julian unexpectedly sighed. “I wish I had some grapes and a pear right now.”

  Stevie threw her arms around his neck and pulled back slightly to squint at him. “Why?”

  “Because I think we make a grape pear, Blondie.” His lips curved upwards, disarming her with an honest and ever so beautiful smile.

  She didn’t want to smile. She pleaded with her mouth not to do so. But it had. It wasn’t a small one either. It was a large grin that included some teeth showing, and no doubt, her eyes showcased what that one sentence did to her.

  Dammit, eyes tell no lies.

  “You’re so up yourself. I tell you that we make a great pair with my fruit puns and you get all swooned,” Julian teased and then kissed the tip of her nose.

  She wiggled in his lap and then frowned at him. “I did not swoon.”

  “You swooned all over my fruit puns. You’re practically a puddle.”

  “I am not!” she retorted.

  Julian placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Admit it; we make a grape pear, Stephanie.”

  Slowly, she untangled her arms from around his neck and cradled his face. At that moment, walls hadn’t just tumbled; they had all but been obliterated by him. Fine dust had settled around her heart before his next kiss blew them away. No more walls. Her heart had decided it was time to live freely.

  Stevie nodded. “I think we do.”

  His brow shot upwards. “Think or know?”

  Bringing his forehead to her lips, she kissed him innocently and intimately. “I know we do.”

  “We’re going to be all right, Stephanie,” he admitted and then wrapped his arms around her.

  “I know, Julian. I know,” she agreed.