What You Left Behind

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What You Left Behind Page 18

by Len Webster


  His thumbs brushed her cheeks, relishing the feel of her smooth skin. “I give most people their own alert sounds.”

  “But everyone uses that chime tone.”

  “Exactly. It’s a boring tone. That’s why I assigned that one to Rogers.” He grinned.

  The sweetest laugh escaped her lips. “And what do you have assigned to me?”

  He was a little embarrassed to admit which alert tone he’d picked for her. She’d no doubt think it was cheesy. Julian’s hands dropped from his face and he averted her stare. “I haven’t assigned you one,” he lied.

  Stephanie tilted her head and squinted at him. Then she bent down, rummaged through her bag, and pulled out her phone.

  “What are—”

  She held up her hand to silence him and then her fingers slid with ease over her screen. Stephanie then stared at him as she was waiting. Then, suddenly, the sounds of birds chirping filled the apartment.

  He waited for it. But instead of her giggles, he was presented with an awe-like expression. Stephanie’s lips parted, and her eyes widened. There was a gleam in her eyes that he hadn’t seen before. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

  The phone in her hand slipped and landed in her bag. Stephanie slowly, with her eyes locked on his, closed the distance. When she reached him, one hand was on his shoulder and the other on the back of his head. Without even a second thought, he held her hips and gazed up at the ceiling.

  “Look at me,” she instructed. And he did. “Explain the birds, Julian.”

  He let out a huff. “You’re the girl behind the mockingbird, Blondie. You’re my mockingbird. I need to know who you are behind the veil of secrets and shadows. I don’t ask for much. I just want you to be honest. And I want you to be as free as you were when you were eighteen.”

  He smiled at the way she bit her lip. Then Stephanie released it and sighed heavily. “Will you be patient with me?”

  Julian nodded.

  “Then go; take care of whatever it is Rogers needs you to do and then come back to me,” she instructed.

  “You’ll be here?”

  “I’ll be right here waiting for you,” Stephanie replied with a confidence echoing in her voice.

  He had grinned largely at her before he pressed his lips against hers in a quick kiss. “Let me hear that one last time.”

  Stephanie pushed him back. “Julian Moors, I will be right here waiting for you.”

  “Never have I ever fallen in love with a single sentence in all my life,” he confessed. Julian took one last glimpse of the blush on Stephanie’s cheeks then turned for the door and left her apartment.

  With a sigh and the constant instructing of her heart to calm its erratic behaviour, Stevie bent down and collected her bag and keys from the floor. Once she set her bag on the hallway table, Stevie pulled out her phone. She had held it in her hand for a long moment before she unlocked it. Then she opened up her messages to see the one she had received from Charles earlier in the morning.

  Charles: “From London to Brighton, somewhere in between is where I fell in love with you.” Do you remember?

  Stevie knew it was just after one a.m. in London. She hadn’t read his message when she first received it; she had only stared at his name. When Julian had asked her if she was okay, she had lied and thrown her phone in her bag. There was no mistaking that she was in a mess. Tangled in a web of past, present, and future. Julian was all three. But so was Charles. He had halted her derail in London. Stevie wasn’t lying when she had told her best friend that Charles had saved her life. More times than she could admit to herself.

  With a deep breath, Stevie began to reply to him.

  Stevie: I’d never forget, Charles. I’d never forget you. I’d never run from you.

  Just as she was about to lock her phone, she got a quick response.

  Charles: Then come home to me.

  Stevie: I can’t.

  Charles: I know.

  Stevie: From London to Melbourne, somewhere in between is where I still love you, Charles.

  Charles: Un jour, Stevie. Un jour you’ll mean that.

  Someday, Stevie. Someday you’ll mean that.

  Stevie: Maybe you shouldn’t have put me on that plane.

  Charles: You were unhappy living with your mother. You needed your brother. Your happiness came first. We have another year to figure this out.

  Stevie: A year is a long time.

  Charles: I’d wait more for you.

  Her heart stopped. She had no doubt that Charles would. She had dated him up until he kissed her goodbye at Heathrow. He made her better. She was sure she had made him worse. But moments before, when Julian had his lips against hers, Charles was just a name. And for that, she felt guilty. Because he was so much more than that.

  But Julian waited longer.

  Stevie: I know you would.

  Charles: Stevie, why do I get the feeling that you’re never coming back to me?

  Her breathing hitched, and she felt a heavy and large chunk of her heart tear off. The sound of it breaking was like a large boulder falling into the ocean. It echoed deeply.

  Because I told Julian to be patient with me.

  Because Julian made me believe we have substance, that we’re not spontaneous.

  Because I’m still in love with Julian.

  Stevie: You loved me at my worst, Charles. I have to see if he can, too.

  She waited, but she didn’t get an immediate reply. She had all but confessed that she had found someone else. Whether he understood the ‘he’ meant Julian, she didn’t know. Suddenly, her phone vibrated in her hand. His face appeared on her screen, and his soft green eyes had that same pull. Against her better judgement, she answered his call.

  “Hello,” she said softly, afraid to hear the hurt in his voice.

  “Hey, Steves,” Charles greeted. “It’s good to hear your voice again.”

  Just hearing his accent caused her knees to buckle and she fell to the floor. Stephanie clutched the phone and let out a sob. Two years. That was how long it had been since they stood at Heathrow and said goodbye with the promise of a future someday.

  “Please don’t cry,” he uttered. Soft and calm. His voice was like a blanket of familiarity around her. “I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

  “Why are you apologising, Charles? You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m the one who’s sorry,” she cried.

  “I hate when you cry,” he explained.

  They shared no words between them. Stevie listened to his soft breaths of air. There was nothing in his background, and she knew he had to be in bed.

  “He’ll love you at your worst,” Charles finally said.

  She sniffed and then wiped her face with her free hand. “How?”

  “Because I did.” She could hear the small smile in his voice. It only made it worse. The ache. The memories. All of it resurfaced.

  “How did you? How could you have loved me, Charles? You talked me off that bridge; you took me home when I was that intoxicated. I ruined your signed Spurs top. I was more of a child than your girlfriend.”

  Charles let out a sigh. “Because I saw the good in you. You were just a little lost. I wish I could have made you see how much good there is in you. Maybe… maybe he can,” he said in a low tone. Charles then exhaled loudly. “And hey, the offer still stands. You and me, Steves. It’ll always be you and me.”

  “I love you, Charles. I really do.”

  “Then go and be really in love with him. Will you tell him about the baby?” The concern in his voice had Stevie closing her eyes tight.

  She swallowed hard. “He has a right to know.”

  “He does,” he agreed. “Call me if you ever need me.”

  “I’m sorry you never got to love me at my best,” she said sadly.

  “You were at your best every day that I got to be with you. I loved all of you then, as I love all of you now. Good night, Stevie.”

  It wasn’t goodbye.

  And for that Stevie
smiled. “Good night, Charles. Do great things tomorrow.”

  Her chest twitched at the memory of him saying that to her on their road trip to Brighton. She would always love Charles. He was safe. And if circumstances were different, if he hadn’t begged her to get on that plane, then she’d be with him right now.

  “And the next day. And the day after that. Do great things every day, Stevie.” And with that, Charles hung up.

  Stevie crossed her legs and stared at her phone. She went into her album and began to swipe through all the pictures she had of her and Charles. No one would know her as he did. No one was willing to save her as he did, either. But she had always felt like Charles’ burden. Like she had always needed him by her side. When she had been with Julian, she felt free. She felt invincible. She was the truest version of her that she had ever been.

  “I’m sorry, Charles,” she whispered before she opened up her text message conversations.

  Stevie: Hey, are you busy?

  Julian: I’m a consultant, Blondie. I’m never busy. But for you, I am SUPER busy today.

  Stevie: I have a feeling you just got into the office. So you can’t be that busy. But if you’re that overwhelmed with work, so be it.

  She stood up and tapped her thumbs against the screen as she waited for his reply. Julian Moors played intricate games. He had since she met him. Stevie knew he was a challenge.

  Julian: Then so be it.

  She smiled and then picked up her bag and keys from the table.

  Stevie: I’ll be at the office in twenty.

  Julian: Good. I wasn’t busy anyways. I mean, I am. But I’m not for you because I LEEK you.

  The beats of her heart halted and air quickly fled her lungs. And then—quite surprisingly—she laughed at the thought of him verbally saying it.

  Stevie: You LEEK me?

  Julian: From my head TOMATOES.

  Stevie: You’re an idiot.

  Julian: You LEEK me, too.

  She had reached the apartment door and reread his text. There was a whole more than puns when it came to Julian. So much more. Stevie twisted the doorknob and exited the apartment. Just as she heard the click of the door closing, her phone vibrated.

  Julian: Two things, Apple-ton. 1. Text me back because I miss the sound of those birds. 2. What is the ringtone you have assigned to me?

  Julian: Sorry. I remembered one more thing. 3. Could you hurry up and get your butt here. It’s a ghost town!

  Stevie got out of his message and went into her contacts. When she edited Julian’s contact information, she had changed his ringtone to the one he had programmed for her.

  “Birds of a feather…” she mumbled as she slipped her phone into her handbag and made her way towards the elevator. She pressed the down button, and as she waited, she let her fingers run to the back of her neck and touched the ‘J’ tattoo.

  We flock together.

  “I thought you wouldn’t be in today,” Mona said.

  Stevie turned around to see her mentor leaning on the cubicle wall, eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips. The humorous twinkle in Mona’s eye left Stevie on edge. She didn’t know her mentor well enough to really understand that glimmer. She wasn’t sure if it was teasing or calculating. Wasn’t sure if she was fired for not turning up or if she even had an internship.

  “Oh, umm, I have that assignment you wanted me to do with the billboards,” Stevie explained.

  Mona pushed off the wall. “Type it up and email it to me by Monday.”

  “Okay. I’ll just grab some things from my desk. Was there anything else you wanted me to do?”

  “No. Just be prepared for next week. I’m going to test you’re capabilities and want you to work on one of the projects with me. Monday I want you in at nine.” Mona pulled out Stevie’s office chair and then sat in it. She tilted her head up and studied Stevie. “So, how long have you been into that consultant?”

  Stevie flinched. “What?”

  Mona’s smirk turned into a wide grin. “Julian. I felt the tension. And I can bet my career that you’re here to see him. No one on the senior team is here on Thursdays or Fridays.”

  “It’s not what you think. If I’m being fired, then I can explain our history,” Stevie quickly offered. The nerves had her heart rate spiking and her breathing heaved. It confused her that she had tried to save her internship. Days ago, she had wanted to get fired. It just didn’t make sense to her.

  “So there’s history?”

  Stevie nodded. “I met him four years ago and we spent some time together. Then we lost touch and well, I met him again at our best friends’ wedding. I had no idea he was hired to be the consultant. Please don’t fire me!”

  Mona laughed and shook her head. “I’m not going to fire you. There’s nothing wrong with what you and Julian have. He’s a consultant; he’s not an employee here. Plus I’m not going to fire the daughter of the man who helped saved this company and its reputation.”

  Stevie’s jaw dropped. “H-how did you know about that? That’s disclosed information.”

  “We all have secrets. Sometimes, it’s better to have someone who appreciates your secrets to know. Like how I know you’re Collette Agustin’s daughter.” Mona rose from the seat and set a hand on Stevie’s shoulder. “Sometimes being the daughter of someone powerful can be your downfall. But don’t worry, Stevie, your secrets are safe with me.”

  Before Stevie could even ask how she knew who her parents were, Mona had already left the cubicle. No one knew about her family. Or the power her family had.

  Stevie quickly spun around and rushed out of her workstation. “Mona!” she called out.

  Mona stopped and then faced her. “Yes, Stevie?”

  “Are you Rogers’… are you his daughter?”

  “Please keep this kind of information to yourself, Stevie. My plans for taking over will be jeopardised if people knew. I want to know the company and the employees before I do. It’s clear that my father’s way of leadership isn’t what it used to be. Tyranny isn’t going to lead this company to succeed. And thanks to your father’s investment, we’re able to make it happen once my father signs his shares over to me.”

  “I can’t believe you’ve kept that a secret. Like, no one in the office knows?”

  Mona shook her head with a smile. “Those who knew about me retired. What I can’t believe is that no one has put two and two together with you. You’re as beautiful as Collette, if not more.”

  “Blondie?” Stevie heard Julian shout behind her.

  “He doesn’t know?” Mona asked.

  “Nope. He will soon, though. I’m trying this honesty thing with him.” The tension in Stevie snapped. Every ache inside of her had eased significantly. She was going to be honest in hopes of being better for him.

  “Hey,” Julian greeted once he stood next to them. He then glanced at both of them several times. “Mona, you aren’t picking on the intern, are you? What kind of mentor are you?”

  Mona rolled her eyes. “You barely say two sentences and you’ve already annoyed me. Anyways, I have some reports to read. Stevie, I don’t want you in until Monday. That’s when the real work begins. If you can’t handle it, then don’t bother coming in.”

  “I can handle it,” Stevie assured her as Mona nodded and made her way to her office.

  “What was that about? I swear, I give her the wrong latte once and she hates me. How was I supposed to know she has a hazelnut allergy?”

  Stevie laughed. “Did she tell you which latte she wanted?”

  Julian’s eyebrows furrowed. “Possibly. There’s a chance I wasn’t listening.”

  “Hmmm, that’s probably an issue.”

  “I think it is. Listen, Blondie…” He pursed his lips. “Can I take you somewhere?”

  The cute, nervous look on his face had her trying to suppress the laugh she had formed. All she wanted to do was kiss him and that unsureness away. But she wasn’t going to risk being caught.

  “Sure,” she said as
casually as she could.

  “Would you like to come for a walk? I haven’t been home in four years, so I wanted to see if anything has changed.”

  Her heart swelled at the way his eyes softened. The blue lightened a fraction more into an almost pale silver. It was breathtaking. And it was beautiful.

  “I don’t know.” She added a layer of reluctance in her voice to tease him.

  Julian dug his hand into his pocket and said, “Heads, we go for that walk. Tails, we go for that walk.”

  “Those two options you just gave defeats the purpose of a coin toss,” Stevie pointed out.

  His reply was a grin and then he dug in his pocket. “Call it,” he said and held out the coin.

  “Always heads,” she breathed and opened her hand out to him.

  “Always all in,” he corrected and dropped it into her palm.

  “Well, we’ll see—” Stevie paused the moment she glanced down at the coin. Her chest constricted in an ache she had never known. Parts of her heart had yelped, alerting her to its existence. “You kept this?”

  “I had to.” He smiled sadly. “We made a lot of memories out of it. It made me feel like we were still together after all those years. I carried it around because it gave me hope that I’d see you again.”

  “I-I…” Stevie’s heart threw itself violently to her ribcage, demanding those three words to slip out. “Leek you.”

  She quickly snapped her mouth shut. Julian’s blinked at her several times then he exhaled deeply.

  “Oh, my fucking God,” she whispered, embarrassed. Stevie shoved the coin into his hand and then rushed towards the elevator. When she reached it, she pressed hard on the down button, praying that the elevator would get to her before Julian.

  “Stephanie!”

  She clenched her eyelids shut and felt the humiliation heat her cheeks. Then she breathed out and turned to face him. Julian smiled at her. The sincerity in his eyes toned down the sting of humiliation she felt.

 

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