by Jenna Jacob
Reality splintered her reverie like a mighty oak struck by lightning.
Sawyer had spent days trying to prove—in numerous and subtle abstract ways—that she was worthy of happiness. All the hours they’d filled, talking, laughing, and zinging one-liners back and forth, had been for a reason. And all the little things he’d done, like seeking her out during the day to ask if she was doing okay. Or suggestive smiles and winks he covertly sent her while they worked with the kids. Every time he was near, Sawyer had touched her indirectly with reassurance and care. He bathed her in glorious attention and never once asked, or even seemingly expected, anything in return.
Because he’s not asking you to pay a price for friendship or affection.
Sawyer slowly pulled from her mouth. A look of worry wrinkled his forehead.
“Hey. Are you all right?”
Brea nodded as she stared at his cock. Still swollen, straining, and glistening with her saliva. The loss of his heated body sent a chill to settle through her. But when he swept her into his arms and tumbled to his side on the mattress, pulling her to face him, that cold isolation within vanished.
His smoky emerald eyes delved deep. Sawyer reached up and gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “Your mind isracing like an Olympic sprinter who just bitch-slapped a bear. Talk to me, baby. You’re not gnawing on a bunch of guilt now, are you?”
“No.”
“Thank god. That’s the last thing I want.”
Surveying her feelings brought tears to her eyes and sent a squall of emotions to swell inside her.
“I suppose what I’m having is a moment of clarity.”
“How so?” He lifted up on one elbow and narrowed his eyes. “You’re thinking you just made another mistake, aren’t you?”
No. But nothing in these postcoital moments felt familiar.
Satisfaction was pumping through her veins instead of her assessing her self-worth by the blow job she’d just given him. But the biggest puzzle piece missing was she didn’t feel the desperate need to pack her shit and move in with him. Surprisingly, that wasn’t even on her radar.
What she was felt was peace!
Since arriving in Haven, instead of fearing being alone with herself, she’d actually enjoyed it. Well, when windows weren’t being blown out or her life threatened by a zealous drug lord. All the horrible, terrifying personality flaws she feared she’d discover about herself hadn’t materialized. Maybe they never were inside her to begin with.
Where? When? How had such self-deprecating ideas taken root in the first place?
She didn’t know, but she aimed to do some serious soul-searching and find out.
It wasn’t any wonder her heart had been broken more times than a flasher’s trench coat zipper.
Sawyer’s lips tightened into a thin line as he stared at her in waiting silence.
“No. This wasn’t a mistake.”
“No. It wasn’t. I’m glad you realize that.” His expression softened. “When I met you a week ago, I had no idea what an unexpected surprise you’d be in my life.”
No. He was the unexpected surprise…a huge one.
“I wowed you with my dazzling personality and easygoing nature, right?” God, she couldn’t even say the words with a straight face.
Sawyer laughed…hard. “Not quite. You were like a rattlesnake, all coiled up and ready to strike, in the beginning. But yes, I suppose I was dazzled…dazzled by the glow of your sexy ass shining in the moonlight, teetering on that windowsill. You have no idea how I struggled to keep from grabbing hold of those milky white orbs and burying my tongue between your cheeks.”
Even though she didn’t want to be reminded of that embarrassing night, a dirty thrill zipped through her. Yanking the pillow from beneath her head, she smacked him in the arm. Sawyer laughed and knocked it away before shoving her back to the mattress and straddling her hips.
Brea was giggling, but her laughter slowly died as she stared at his gorgeous face. God, he was truly beautiful.
The smile slowly vanished from his lips as he studied the contours of her face. “You’ve taught me something over these past seven days, Brea.”
“I taught you?” She was totally puzzled. “What? How not to climb through a window?”
Sawyer grinned and shook his head. “That, but no. You taught me that the past doesn’t have to define the future. A lesson you need to teach yourself, as well.”
His words slowly sank into her brain. She began to realize that by banishing men from her life, she’d simply traded in one set of blinders for another. Men weren’t her enemy, she was, or rather her lack of self-esteem. But Sawyer had lifted the blinders and taught her something, too—besides what orgasms were supposed to feel like. He’d taught her something far more precious—that she deserved love and respect. He’d shown her the difference between a good man and a worthless, leaching loser.
Her stomach pitched. “Oh, god. This is great…just great!”
“What’s the matter?” he asked, clearly confused.
“My parents…they’ve been right all along.” Brea flung her hands in the air. “Oh, god. You have no idea the ass I’m going to have to kiss now. Shit!”
“Whose ass? Your parent’s?”
“Yes,” she hissed. “And it chaps my nipples something fierce! Aw, dammit!”
Sawyer blinked and then chuckled. “First of all, you don’t have to kiss anyone’s ass. Not mine and especially not your parents’. And I’ve got just the thing for your chapped nipples. Don’t worry, I’ll take extra-special care of them for you.” He bent and flicked his tongue over her pebbled peaks, then raised his head and waggled his brows. His playful antics defused her irritation. “So tell me, what were your parents right about?”
Brea shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll call them and grovel later.”
“No. Don’t.” Sawyer frowned. “If you can’t trust them to be there for you through good times and bad, you don’t owe them explanations. Keep the people who want the best for you by your side. People like Colton, Jade, and…well, me.”
She hadn’t turned her back on her parents; they’d turned their backs on her. That fact stung, but Brea was finding a new sense of courage taking root inside her.
“You’re right. But we were close once. I think it’s time I called and tried to remove the wedge that’s between me and my folks.”
A ghost of a smile curled his lips. “When something’s important, it’s never too late to change. After my divorce, I vowed two things. One was never to wake up with a woman in my bed. I’m changing my decision here and now. I want to wake up with you by my side in the morning, Brea.”
He’s a good man. Waking up with him isn’t the same as moving in. He’s not saying shit to get inside your pants…he’s already done that. He cares about you and has feelings for y-o-u.
Her subconscious whisper sent panic and joy and hope and terror colliding inside her. She opened her mouth to laugh, or maybe it was to scream, but in the end, it didn’t matter. Sawyer meshed his lips to hers, erasing all rational thought, and with a soul-stealing kiss, he drowned her in passion.
Brea’s heart felt as if it were going to burst from her chest.
“Make love to me, Sawyer,” she gasped after tearing from his mouth.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
The glow of some new and liberating light shined from inside her. Sawyer had given that to her, made her shine. And for the first time in her life, Brea felt extraordinarily free!
Shoving him back, she sat up and shot him a playful smile. “I’ve ridden a few shoddy donkeys before, but never a stud as sexy as you. How about we saddle up and stampede into the sunset?”
“With or without my spurs on, baby?”
“Surprise me.” She laughed. “What am I saying? You already have.”
A wicked flame danced in his eyes. “And I plan to keep on doing it, too.”
Sawyer plucked her off the bed. Brea let out a squeal. “Wh
ere are you taking me?”
“You like surprises. Remember?” Sawyer laughed as he carried her into the bathroom.
“So, we’re going to clean us up just so we can get dirty again?”
“Oh, yeah. I plan to get you utterly filthy, darlin’.”
She swallowed tightly as the images from her wet dreams came to life in her head. Brea wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “Good, ’cause I’m going to get you smutty dirty, Neville.”
He narrowed his eyes and growled. Lifting his hand off her left butt cheek, Sawyer brought it down with a loud, stinging slap. Brea let out a yelp.
“I’ll turn you over my knee, woman,” Sawyer warned.
“Only if I’m bad, right?”
“Are you ready to show me how wicked you can get?”
“Wait. What if I’m good?”
“Trust me, darlin’. You can’t get much better. You’re nearly perfect already.”
“Watch me,” she challenged in a sultry whisper.
Bold and sure—feelings Sawyer had evoked inside her—she mentally spread her wings and basked in her newfound confidence. Brea wrapped her hand around his neck and drew him in for a kiss. Forcing his lips apart with her tongue, she grinned at the feral growl rolling from his chest. Sawyer skimmed his wide, calloused hands down her back, gripped her ass cheeks, then pulled her naked body to his. That glorious cock throbbed against her stomach and she purred.
He dipped his fingers in the crack of her ass and toyed with her puckered rim. Tiny sparks of pleasure spread outward and exploded like firecrackers. Brea whimpered and pushed her hips back toward his hand, silently giving him the green light to a little ass play.
Sawyer reached lower, coating his fingers with her pussy juices before smearing the slickness on her gathered ring. Slowly, he worked his finger through the sensitive opening, sending bursts of pleasure to ripple through her.
The heat generating between them turned the bathroom into a sweltering sauna. As they feasted on each other’s tongues and lips, Brea slid her hand between their grinding bodies and wrapped her fingers around his cock. She dragged her hand up and down his massive muscle with feathery-light strokes, basking in the thick veins that throbbed against her flesh.
She wanted him inside her…anywhere…everywhere!
When she pulled back, Brea’s pulse sped up as she stared into his seductive gaze. She’d never grow tired of looking at him, laughing with him, or giving herself to him.
“Fuck the shower,” Sawyer growled. “I’m taking you right here…right now!”
“Where’s your condom, tiger?”
“Shit! They’re in the nightstand by the bed.” Frustration laced his words.
Brea sent him a wicked grin. With her hand still gripped to his shaft, she led him by his cock back into the bedroom.
“This gives a whole new meaning to being led around by your dick,” he chuckled.
“You’re not complaining, are you?”
“No, ma’am. Not one bit in the world.”
He pulled out a string of condoms and tore one off. Brea arched her brow at the several he left sitting on the nightstand. “You planning to use all those tonight?”
“Them and more,” he snarled before tearing the package open with his teeth.
Brea reached up and plucked the condom from the wrapper. “I should have eaten my Wheaties this morning. Here, let me do the honors.”
“Be my guest.” Sawyer placed his fists on his hips and thrust his dick toward her.
“It seems a shame to have to wrap up such a pretty cock.”
Sawyer arched his brow. “You on the pill?”
“Yes.”
“I’m clean…” His voice broke off and she knew he was waiting for her reply.
“Weed stopped touching me months ago. I went…” Brea shook her head. She refused to spoil the moment talking about that asshat. “I-I’m clean too.”
A brutish grin crawled across his lips before he stole the condom from between her fingers and tossed it over his shoulders. “I can’t wait to feel you around me.”
Pressing his lips to hers, Brea smiled. “Then stop talking.”
“I’m not,” he murmured. The low vibration of his words tickled her mouth. “You are.
“I guess you’ll have to find a way to shut me up, then.”
Sawyer broke the kiss and started laughing. “Oh, how I love a challenge.”
He removed her hand from his cock and then gripped her hips before capturing her mouth with a hungry kiss. As he advanced on her, the backs of her legs hit the mattress, and with his lips still fused to hers, Sawyer eased her onto the bed. He hovered over her and dragged his tongue down her body.
Brea closed her eyes and sighed as his hands, fingers, lips, and teeth roamed gently over every inch of her naked flesh. Stopping to lick and suckle her breasts, he didn’t linger but ebbed toward the juncture of her thighs.
Brea opened her eyes and lifted her head from the pillow. She watched as he gripped her flesh with his capable hands and spread her legs. He brushed his lips and tongue up her thighs. His bristly whiskers tickled. She almost giggled until he nipped his teeth at her tender flesh, only to lave his tongue over each freshly bitten spot. Pulses of pain mixed with pleasure skittered through her while ribbons of lava fluttered in her core.
As he knelt on the edge of the bed, Brea bent her knees, welcoming him inside her. But Sawyer paused and stared at her with a look of pure adoration. Brea’s heart soared. He cinched his hands at her waist and hoisted her into the middle of the bed, then braced himself on his palms. Keeping his gaze locked with hers, Sawyer lowered his hips until the crest of his cock aligned with her weeping channel.
“From here on out, it’s only me… I’m the only man you’ll ever give yourself to.”
Her heart fluttered wildly and her eyes grew wide. Surprise, like a flooded creek, swelled inside. Brea swallowed tightly though her mouth had gone dry.
Sawyer cocked his head. “Did you actually think I’d ever let you get away? Not happening. I’m done sleeping alone in my bed, dreaming about you, night after night. I’ve found the missing pieces of my heart, darlin’…and they’re you. Tell me I’m the only one you’ll ever want…ever need.”
His words singed her soul like a branding iron. His stare grew even hotter, intense and unwavering. He was a rogue, but a damn sexy one.
Karma had indeed come back, but not to bite her in the ass…to save her. Still, this was a complete reversal of every relationship she’d ever known. Part of her felt as if she were learning to walk with two left shoes…foreign…awkward. She prayed she didn’t misstep and fall flat on her ass.
If you do, he’ll be right there to catch you. Let go. Let him love you…let yourself love him.
Hall-e-fuckin’-lujah! Her heart and head had aligned on the same damn page for once. Though she had no clue if she and Sawyer would last till the end of time. Hell, it could all end tomorrow. But she was willing to see where this crazy, sometimes infuriating man with a huge heart and strong arms would take her.
If she ended up having to wrap another damn tourniquet around her heart one day…so be it. Giving up men and cordoning off her heart wasn’t the answer. Life was taking risks, winning, losing, and never giving up on finding the one to share a happy ever after with.
“Say it, Brea,” he whispered so low she almost didn’t hear him.
“You’re the only man I’ll ever want or need, Neville Sawyer Grayson.” A great big smile speared his face. Brea giggled. “Now make love to me like you mean it.”
“There’s no other way when it comes to you. Hold on tight, darlin’, this ride’s about to get wild.”
He captured her mouth, swallowing down her whimpers and moans as he slowly inched his thick cock inside her. Brea rolled her hips and wiggled, trying to will her swollen muscles to relax and let him in. When she felt his pubic bone meshed against hers, Sawyer raised his head and smiled.
“You d
oing all right, darlin’?”
She answered in a dreamy moan. All right wasn’t even close.
She was in heaven.
Stuffed full of his incredible cock, suffused in the heat of his body, and held prisoner to his carnal stare—this was better than chocolate or wine or French fries.
He dragged in and out of her throbbing core in a slow, spine-bending rhythm. Lost in the sensation, she squeezed around him as their tongues swirled in tandem. He was savage, gentle, demanding, tender…and the dichotomy of sensations he bestowed overwhelmed. Brea abandoned trying to decipher them all and simply felt…felt it all, with every electrified cell in her body, mind, heart, and soul.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Engulfed in her heated, wet splendor, Sawyer was going up in flames. Brea was tight…tighter than he’d ever imagined…and slick…so fucking unbelievable he wanted to throw his head back and yell the goddamn roof down. The flames licking at his spine paled to the uninhibited passion pouring from her and flowing into him.
Everything about her was un-fucking-believable.
With his hand wedged between their slapping bodies, he toyed with her clit, watching rapture roll across her face, listening to her whimpers and kitten-like mewls. He’d felt that magical little nub swell on his tongue…knew just how to manipulate his fingers in a way to drive her over the edge. But he wasn’t ready to let her fly. Not yet. Sawyer wanted to savor every second of her beautiful suffering.
Unfortunately, he was suffering right along with her. He’d tried to think about Betty White naked, but Brea’s cries and the beguiling feel of her body stole his attention back to her.
As he worked her clit with the pad of his thumb, the mounting friction of her clutching heat was shoving him fast toward nirvana. Brea’s breathless whimpers grew to keening cries, and he knew she was close.
As close as you are, fucker.