An Unlocked Mind

by K. C. Wells

  “Hmm?”

  Rob was doing his best to figure out how to ask the question that was going through his mind. It wasn’t something he’d ever had to deal with, but now? It was important to him to know.

  “What are we doing?”

  “Well, you’re going to soak in the tub while I make us some breakfast.”

  A fist of ice gripped Rob’s heart. He’d used that tone himself when he’d had sex with girls. Dismissive, not really interested in their feelings or questions.

  “No, I mean….” He couldn’t get the words to come out.

  Vic reached up to lay a finger across Rob’s lips. “Shh. I know what you mean. I just don’t have the answer yet. What we did?” He chuckled. “If word of last night ever got to the club, I would never live it down.”

  Rob brushed aside Vic’s finger. “What do you mean?”

  Vic grinned. “I have never come so quickly, and that’s saying something. Usually when sex is part of a scene, I’m the last one to come. But last night? That was something else.”

  Rob stiffened at the mention of a scene, unwilling to think about Vic with someone else. Then he shook himself. Will you just get over it? It was sex, pure and simple. Don’t make it out to be more than it was.

  Except Vic was certainly doing that.

  And Vic was regarding him closely, like he was trying to peer inside Rob’s head.

  “But last night wasn’t a scene,” Vic continued quietly. “Last night was two men enjoying each other. And as far as what I’m used to, it was pretty vanilla.” He locked gazes with Rob. “BDSM is a part of my life. I can’t be vanilla, Rob. Not for anyone.”

  That comment sent a flare of anger through him. “Who the hell is asking you to? Did I say something that would lead you to believe I wasn’t interested in that part of your life? What will it take to show you? Maybe you need to tie me up? Whip me?” Frustration boiled up inside him. “What do you want from me?”

  “What do you want from yourself?”

  Rob stood and immediately regretted it when his arse throbbed. That didn’t stop him from turning to face Vic. “Stop doing that! Just fucking stop. Why do you have to turn the questions back on me?”

  “Because the sub holds the power, Rob.” Vic’s voice was calm. “And if you were with me, that’s what you would be. A submissive. My submissive. Are you ready to let go and give yourself to me?”

  Rob stifled the urge to roll his eyes. “Uh, pretty sure we did that a few hours ago.”

  “You know what I mean. I need to know you’re 100 percent committed to this, because it won’t work if you have any hesitation at all. I’m willing to train you, to work with you to accept your submission, but I don’t want it if you’re only going to try and do things on your terms.”

  Rob blinked at Vic. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

  “Submission is supposed to bring joy. It’s liberating. But you’re not willing to let go of the control. You say you want to, but then you try to hide things from me or try to refuse my assistance. There can only be one person in charge here, and that’s me. I want to help you to build that foundation so you’re strong enough to handle any challenges that come your way, but you’ve got to be ready to follow my lead. No complaining, no hedging. If I say something needs to be done a certain way, then you’ll do it that way because I ask it of you.”

  Rob’s head was spinning. Is that what I want? To be Vic’s submissive? It was one thing to talk about seeing what went on in the club and wanting to try that for himself, but here he was, Vic offering him just that, and Rob was….

  Nervous. Apprehensive. And….

  Hopeful. So fucking hopeful, it scared him.

  Jesus.

  “I thought you didn’t live the life 24-7? Isn’t that what you said?” Rob couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t do that.

  Vic scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t. We wouldn’t. But where you’re concerned, my job is to guide and nurture you. It’s to be here for you to lean against when you need me, but for me to know enough to step back when you’ve got it.”

  Something niggled at him. “And you don’t think I’ve got it, do you?” For the love of…. “Could you possibly give me a little credit to know what I’m doing and what I want? If I recall correctly, it was me on my knees when you came into the bedroom. If that doesn’t tell you something, then I have no idea what will.”

  Vic grabbed Rob’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “You’re a work in progress, but no, I don’t think you have it. You know how to play, but I don’t think you’re ready to be strong, to face up to the things that scare you.”

  Rob jutted his chin out. “I’m not afraid.” No way was he about to let Vic know the impact of his words. He’s wrong. I’m ready for that. I am.

  “So you’re ready to talk to your brother? Tell your family you’re involved with a man? What do you think will happen when your mother discovers you’re not living in Manchester now? Or have you told her while I wasn’t around?”

  All the fight went out of him. Aw fuck. Rob bowed his head, overcome with relief when Vic’s arms tightened around him. “You’re right. I’m not ready,” he admitted, his voice soft.

  “And that’s fine,” Vic insisted. “I’m not saying you need to do it today, but it has to be something we would work toward. So to answer your question, I need to know that we’re going to walk together, hand in hand, and build something that’s strong for both of us.”

  “I want that,” Rob said. He wanted it more than anything in his life.

  “If you’re certain, then we need to have a talk.”

  “Couldn’t we just get back in bed?” He yearned for the simple joy of lying in Vic’s arms, the outside world forgotten.

  Vic chuckled and kissed Rob on the temple. “My baseball bat is giving you the day off. Maybe tomorrow.”

  Tomorrow. Rob loved it when Vic spoke in terms of the future.

  He stepped out of Vic’s embrace, missing it almost immediately. “I think I’m going to go take that bath now.”

  “Do it in the garden. It’s a lot easier to relax out there.”

  Rob shivered. “You mean in public?” The thought of being exposed in front of other people left Rob cold. “I don’t know about that.” He glanced toward the window. “And it’ll be cold out there.”

  Vic snorted. “You won’t feel it if you’re in the water.” He lifted Rob’s chin with his fingers. “No one can see you, I promise. The fence is high enough that unless they got on a stepladder, they’re not about to see your bits. And I’ll let you in on a secret—sitting in the warm water, surrounded by the fragrance of the plants, will put you into a better frame of mind.”

  “Okay.” Rob still wasn’t convinced, but he would trust Vic knew what he was talking about.

  “Then I’ll get dressed and get breakfast started.” When Rob didn’t move, Vic gave him a hard stare. “The garden won’t come to you, you know.”

  Rob shook his head. “You really are bossy, aren’t you?” He went into the bathroom and grabbed Vic’s robe. When he wrapped himself up in it, he could smell Vic on it. His soap, his skin. No matter what Vic said, no flowers were going to do for him what Vic’s scent did.

  He went downstairs, through the house, and out into the Zen garden. It was actually very pleasant outside, but there was a nip to the air that had Rob hurrying to the summer house. Once he’d run the bath, he removed Vic’s robe and climbed in. He leaned his head against the porcelain and relaxed in the soothing waters. It didn’t take long for him to realize Vic really did know what he was talking about. Warmth seeped into him, and his discomfort began to fade.

  “What will it take to prove to him I know what I want?” he grumbled. From the corner of his eye, he could see Vic gazing out at him from the french doors. The thought of having Vic’s attention raised Rob’s temperature.

  He would make damn sure Vic knew what he wanted. He just had to figure out how.

  Chapter Twenty

  VIC STOOD
at the window as Rob dozed in the bath. He knew he was pushing Rob into something he might not be ready to acknowledge, but the truth of the matter was, he wanted to know where they were going too.

  Especially after last night.

  He pulled out his phone, then scrolled through the contacts. He regarded Jack’s details thoughtfully. Maybe it was time to ask for some advice.

  “Hey, how are you?” Jack sounded positively chipper.

  “I’m good. What about you? How was the concert?”

  Jack sucked in a breath. “I know you didn’t call me to talk about that. What’s on your mind? And don’t tell me nothing, because I can hear it in your voice.”

  Vic smiled to himself. The thing about good friends is that sometimes they know you a little too well. “Yeah, okay, there is something. I could use some advice if you have time.”

  “Yes, Dorothy, those ruby slippers go with your dress.”

  Vic laughed. “Sod off, you git.”

  Jack chuckled. “Well, at least it got you to loosen up a little. What’s going on?”

  “Do you remember that rude boy from the club?”

  “Oh, hell yes. The one who called you a poof. Funniest thing I’ve—wait. Why are you asking?”

  “Well, that night after I left, I found him walking in the storm. He was a determined little shit, and wasn’t giving up. I figured it wasn’t my problem, and drove off.”

  “Let me guess. You decided you couldn’t leave him and went back for him.”

  “Got it in one,” Vic replied. “He’s…. He’s not exactly what I thought he was.”

  Jack’s voice was wistful. “The best ones seldom are. So you’re saying you’re still seeing him?”

  “He’s living here.”

  Jack snorted. “You don’t hang around, do you? Talk about fast. How’s it working out?”

  Vic told Jack everything he’d learned about Rob—and himself—in the last month. When he finished, Jack whistled.

  “I’ll say this for you, Vic. You don’t do things by halves.”

  “I never have, but this time I don’t want to.”

  A pause. “I’m not sure I understand.”

  “We’ve become close.”

  “Aw, shit. So we’re past him being just a lodger, then. You’ve fucked him, haven’t you?”

  Vic’s face heated. “Yes. The thing is, it’s not a one-off. Or at least I don’t want it to be.”

  Jack’s voice softened. “Vic? What is it?”

  Vic took a deep breath and plunged forward. “Rob calls to me on every level—man and Dom—and I don’t want to give him up. The thing is, I don’t know if we’re compatible. I mean, he responds nicely, and I love it when I see him give in just a little. But he’s all wrapped up in what happened with his brother, and he can’t get beyond that. He’s used it to portray himself as a villain, and he isn’t. He’s warm, caring, cheeky, and….”

  “And you’re in love with him,” Jack finished for him.

  In the deepest recesses of his mind, Vic had acknowledged that such a thing was a distinct possibility. From the day they met until now had been a little less than a month, but Rob was his, damn it. When they’d made love the previous night, all it had taken was Vic gazing into Rob’s eyes to see that truth.

  And if we’re not compatible? Where does that leave us?

  Vic knew the answer, but the prospect left him cold.

  “Do you think I could live a vanilla life, Jack? If Rob wasn’t interested in BDSM, could I give it up for him?”

  Jack huffed. “That’s like asking if you could give up an arm for him. You said it, Vic. BDSM is a part of you, and it’s part of the reason you’re attracted to Rob. If Rob wasn’t interested, would you be able to give it up? Look at what happened to Sam and Aaron.”

  The same thought had occurred to Vic. He would have called Sam, but he thought it might be painful for him to think about Seb. Would Vic be strong enough to let Rob walk away the way Seb had? He now understood the depths of anguish his friends had felt when the boy they considered to be their world had pulled the rug out from under them. They’d been together for years, whereas Rob had only been with Vic a short time, but already he knew it would kill him if Rob walked away.

  “I know.”

  “Hey, don’t give up. He was in a BDSM club, after all. And based on what you’ve said, he knew he was looking for something. You never know. Maybe now that he’s met you, he’s found it.”

  The thought sent a shiver down Vic’s spine. He’d seen the way Rob reacted to him, to his manner.

  “Well, he has relaxed a lot since you met him. I’m teaching him to meditate, hoping to give him a stable footing. You can see in his eyes that some of the things that were haunting him have finally let go, but there’s still a lot there to deal with.” And Vic wanted to be there for him.

  “Nothing worth having comes easily. I think it was you who told me that once.”

  Vic smiled. Sometimes you need a friend to remind you of what you already know. “Thank you, Jack. I really appreciate your help.”

  “Nothing to it, mate. You might be doing the same thing for me one of these days.”

  “Oh? Something you want to tell me?”

  Jack laughed. “No, not right now. Let’s just say some things progress in their own time.”

  “Be all mysterious, then. See if I care.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  Vic glanced out the window again. Rob’s head had dropped to his chest. Vic had to smile. When that boy relaxes, he goes all out. This was Rob’s home, and Vic wanted him to be comfortable here.

  But maybe it was time to talk about stepping outside of their comfort zones.

  “I think a conversation is in the cards.”

  “LUNCH IS ready!” Vic called out from the kitchen.

  Rob walked into the room and sat gingerly on a chair, perched on the edge of the seat. When he glanced across at Vic, he couldn’t miss the amusement in Vic’s gaze. “Something funny?” he asked, keeping his face straight.

  “Did you want a pillow?” Vic asked, matching his expression.

  “Funny man. Ha-ha.”

  “I’m serious. It’s better than sitting on a hard chair.”

  Rob wanted to say no, he was fine, but the ache had diminished only slightly…. “Yes, please.” God, look at me. Such a delicate little flower. All I did was take a dick up my arse. No wonder Vic found it amusing.

  Vic stood, went to the lounge, and returned with a small round pillow from the couch. He gestured with his hand for Rob to stand, then placed the cushion beneath him. Rob breathed a sigh of relief as he sat back down.

  “Better?”

  “Oh, hell yes.” The memory of his discomfort faded with each recollection of how good it had felt. From the moment when he’d envisaged him and Jamie fucking, it had been something he’d never thought would happen. Not only that, he’d approached the idea with much trepidation. But now? It had been nothing like he’d anticipated—it had been much, much better.

  After Vic had woken him from his snooze in the bath that morning and they’d come in from the garden, Vic had checked Rob’s hole. He said it was a little puffy and red, but looked good. Vic put some cream on his finger, then glided it over the pucker.

  “This should help,” he had said.

  What had surprised Rob was that he hadn’t found the act invasive. It was just Vic being Vic, looking out for him. And the cream had helped. The constant ache had dulled into a twinge.

  Vic picked up his sandwich. Before he bit into it, he cleared his throat. “I want us to go to the club.”

  Rob stilled, his hand halfway to his mouth. Did he just say…? “You want us to… what?”

  Vic regarded him calmly, acting for all the world like he’d just suggested going to the cinema or a pub, rather than visiting a BDSM club. “I want us to go to the club. Together.”

  Before Rob had a chance to react, Vic’s phone rang.

  He glanced at the caller I
D, then held up a finger. “Good afternoon, this is Vic.”

  Rob’s stomach was doing summersaults in the meantime. The club? Oh God. He’d known it was coming, of course. He just hadn’t reckoned on it happening so soon. Am I ready? Judging by what Vic had said before breakfast, Rob had gotten the impression that Vic didn’t think so. Then why the change of heart?

  As Vic listened to the call, he glanced over at Rob, then smiled. “Yes, I’ll tell him. Thank you for calling.”

  For one crazy moment, Rob had the distinct feeling Vic was referring to him, except that made no sense. Who would be calling about me?

  Vic disconnected the call and grinned at him. “That was work. They have a job for you, if you’re interested.”

  All thoughts of the club were washed away by the sheer relief that flooded through him. “Yes!” It was only in that moment that Rob realized how much he’d been worried about his job situation.

  Vic held up a hand. “Hold your horses. Listen to what the job entails before you jump in with both feet. You’d be working with a crew that handles mostly landscaping. You’d help with flowerbeds, laying sod, planting trees, things like that. It’s a lot of physical work, and you’d have to be able to lift fifty-pound bags of soil or fertilizer. That said, this is the same type of job I had when I started working with the company. But things changed when they saw my dedication, and I eventually got put in charge of the crew. From there, I helped to design things, like I said. You could have that chance too, but only if you’re motivated. It’s not easy work, and you’ll come home sore and tired a lot of days. When it’s done, though, there’s nothing quite like the satisfaction you get when you look at it and realize you helped to make something beautiful.”

  Rob wasn’t afraid of hard work. He enjoyed it, in fact.

  “Would I be working for you?” He mentally crossed his fingers.

  Vic shook his head. “We’d work in separate areas. I doubt we’d even see each other unless I get asked to check on a job where you’re working.”

  It meant a lot to Rob that Vic didn’t intend to watch his every move, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t needle him a little. “And you’d trust me to be out there, with a lot of other men? Who knows what could happen?” He waggled his eyebrows.