An Unlocked Mind

by K. C. Wells

  For the life of him, Rob couldn’t see the connection between his story and the one Jarod had just told him.

  But Jarod wasn’t done. “Those days when I was alone, I wondered if I had told Phillip enough how much I loved him. What he meant to me. I remembered all the arguments over stupid things, but it took me years to remember how many more good things there were than bad.” He gazed steadily at Rob across the table. “Which brings me to you. Alex is angry and hurt, I know, but if you don’t talk to him, tell him the truth about what happened, that hurt and anger will always be there. It eats him up, knowing—or thinking—you did something to hurt him and Leo. If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for Alex. You obviously care for him, so why not prove it and help him to let that pain go? Not just for him, but for both of you.”

  Jarod’s words were like a body blow. Rob had thought of his own hurt and regret, but he hadn’t really considered it from Alex’s side. God, I was such a selfish bastard.

  Maybe now was the time to put things to right.

  “I’ll think about it,” he promised. He meant it. He’d need to consider very carefully what the hell he was going to say.

  “That’s all I ask. I won’t tell him we spoke, by the way. That’s not my place. Just, please, don’t hurt each other anymore.”

  Rob’s phone rang. He had to smile when he saw the name on the display. “I think Vic’s worried.”

  “Then let’s get back downstairs and put his mind to rest.” Jarod picked up the cups and rinsed them out. Then he escorted Rob to the lift and pushed the button.

  “Thank you,” Rob said as they waited for it.

  “For what?”

  “Listening, I guess. You know my brother, and I figure if you could hear my side and understand, then maybe there’s a chance he will too.”

  Jarod touched Rob’s arm lightly. “At least give him the chance. Both of you need closure.” He paused. “You have to let go of the past in order to have a shot at building a future. Of course, it’s up to you if you want a relationship with your brother.”

  Memories of Alex filled Rob’s mind. When they were kids, Alex was shy. Rob used to tease him when he’d go out with friends while Alex stayed home. Rob would come back from some party and he’d immediately have to tell Alex all about it. Rob knew he wanted to make Alex jealous.

  Isn’t it funny? Now I’m the one who’s jealous of him.

  “I want him to forgive me. Even if he doesn’t want to see me, I need it to be able to move on with my life.”

  The lift opened and as they were about to step inside, Jarod put a hand on Rob’s shoulder. “Then maybe you should think about forgiving yourself first.”

  Rob wished it could be that simple. He followed Jarod into the lift, then leaned against the wall. He knew that forgiveness had to come from those he wronged before he had a chance in hell of finding it for himself.

  When the door opened, Rob saw Vic engaged in conversation with Eli. As he and Jarod walked over to them, Vic’s eyes focused on Rob. The annoyance was still there, and Rob swallowed hard. Looks like I have some heavy-duty apologizing to do.

  “Thank you for the advice, Jarod,” Rob said, as they crossed the floor. “I think I’m about to be in deep shit with Vic.”

  “That’s my fault. I could talk to him if you like.”

  “Thanks, but no. Years ago I would have pushed you into accepting responsibility. I knew the rules when we got here, and regardless of the reason, I’m the one who broke them.”

  They’d taken a few more steps when Rob felt Jarod’s hand on his arm. “For what it’s worth? I think Alex would be very glad to meet the man you’ve become.”

  There was no way Jarod could understand how much those words meant to Rob. “Thank you.” He swallowed hard, his chest tight.

  “Anytime.”

  As he reached Vic’s side, Rob breathed a sigh of relief when Vic patted him on the arm before he turned back to Eli.

  “Looking forward to seeing what you’re going to do with your online presence. You guys did a great job on the club. I can’t wait to come back and see it again.”

  Eli extended his hand. “We’ll be looking for you. Enjoy the room.” Eli escorted Jarod away. He put his hand on the small of Jarod’s back and pushed him to the door.

  Rob was dying to know what Eli meant about the room, but held his tongue. Doubtless he’d get to hear about it eventually.

  Vic returned his attention to Rob, his gaze boring into him. “Remember you said you wanted to know what it meant to be with me? Well, you’re about to find out. You broke at least three rules—yes, I counted—and we’ll be addressing those right now. Then, when we get home, you’ll be going to sleep and in the morning, you’re getting up early to make breakfast.”

  He sighed in relief. Vic was angry, but he’d still said home. “Thank you,” he whispered.

  “For now, you’re going to go stand in the corner, your nose pressed to the wall.”

  Rob blinked. “What?”

  “I want you there for thirty minutes.”

  Rob glanced around. “In front of all these people?”

  “You didn’t seem to mind them when you were yelling. Now, corner, please.”

  Rob grumbled. The thought of being sent to the corner like a little kid burned him, but he went. He figured it shouldn’t be that hard. When he got to the corner Vic had indicated, he pressed his face against the warm wood. A few moments later, however, Rob turned to ensure Vic was still there.

  He was there all right, and he was still glaring at Rob.

  Rob sighed and went back to his punishment. Time passed slowly, interminably. He could hear people in the background, but couldn’t see anything. He strained to hear Vic’s voice, but couldn’t pick it out. Fuck, it felt like there wasn’t even anyone else there, even though Rob knew there was.

  He hated the whole fucking experience.

  When a hand touched his shoulder, Rob turned around to find Vic smiling down at him. Rob couldn’t help his reaction. He threw himself against Vic’s broad chest, hugging him for all he was worth. He felt like bawling, telling Vic how sorry he was. But when Vic stroked the back of his head and whispered, “Over and done with now,” Rob let go of his pent-up emotions, happy to be back in Vic’s graces.

  Vic took Rob by the wrist. “Now, we’re going to go sit until you’ve calmed down. Then we’ll see what the club is about, yeah?”

  As long as he doesn’t stop touching me, I’m okay.

  ROB STAYED pressed to Vic’s side while they were seated on the couch. Vic wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. When Rob sighed and snuggled in, Vic squeezed.

  “I’m sorry,” Rob said again. “I just… I couldn’t stand another person hating me.”

  “You should have talked to me. I would have dealt with it.”

  Rob sighed. “I understand, but I’ve never had anyone who would stand up for me before.”

  Vic reached out with his other hand and gripped Rob’s chin. “I am always going to be there for you. I take care of what’s important to me, and that includes you.”

  Rob’s eyes widened. “You think I’m important?”

  The innocence of the question tore at Vic. “Of course you are. Why would you even question it? Haven’t I shown you what you mean to me?”

  “You have. Sometimes it’s like I’m dreaming, though. I know I’ll wake up in my flat, soaked in sweat, and I’ll probably be crying because none of it was real.”

  Vic leaned in and kissed Rob, who opened for him immediately. When he drew back, Rob’s eyes were half-closed. “Did that feel like a dream?”

  “Yes. And I don’t want to wake up.”

  “Trust me, it’s not a dream. And now that we’re on the subject of trust….”

  He waited for Rob to catch up. When he did, he nodded at Vic. “I’m ready.”

  Vic stood, gesturing for Rob to do the same. “You’ll follow behind me. Your gaze should be on my feet, so you know where I’m
going, and do your best to anticipate what I’m doing. We’re not going far. Now, tell me again, what is your safeword?”

  “Peacock,” Rob replied without hesitation.

  Vic led them through the club to a different lift than the one Rob had taken with Jarod. He had to wonder what Rob made of the sights, sounds, and smells around them. Being in the club always stirred Vic’s senses, making his pulse race and his breathing quicken. Once the lift doors had slid shut, Vic placed his hands on Rob’s shoulders and looked him in the eye.

  “We’re going to do one of my favorite things. While you were out at the clubs, did you ever see sensory deprivation?”

  “No, but I’ve heard of it.”

  “Good. Sensory dep is the removal of outside stimuli. Think of it as meditation, but taken to the next step. You’re going to be focused inward instead of out.”

  The doors opened and Vic strode down the hall, Rob doing his best to keep up. On either side were closed doors, little sound emerged from them. Vic stopped in front of one door and opened it with a key. He gave Rob a nod. “In you go.”

  Vic was pleasantly surprised. Whispers had always been a good club, but Secrets had taken it to a whole new level. Cream-colored walls offset the dark furniture. There was a bed to one side, covered with a black vinyl sheet, and a spanking bench on the other. Two dark wooden cabinets stood against the wall. When Vic opened one, he found a variety of implements, as well as lube and condoms.

  Rob stood in the middle of the room, his eyes wide, his chest rising and falling.

  Here we go.

  “Please strip down to your underwear.” When Rob blushed to the roots of his hair, Vic gave him a speculative glance. “Is there a problem?”

  “A small one,” Rob replied. “I’m not wearing any.”

  Vic’s cock filled at the thought. He wanted to be buried in Rob again, surrounded by that amazing heat. He shook his head to clear the thoughts away. “That’s fine. Strip, please.”

  Rob hesitated a moment. “There aren’t cameras in here, are there?”

  “There are,” Vic told him, pointing toward the corner. “They’re for the safety of all parties involved, but they don’t record. I imagine someone monitors them, however. Eli and Jarod have to protect their investments, as well as the people who come here.” He stepped closer and put a hand on Rob’s shoulder. “Would you rather not?”

  “No, it’s just that….” Rob sucked in a breath, then blew it out slowly. “No, I can do it.”

  His fingers seemed thick and clumsy as he began to strip down, his nervousness apparent.

  “Stop. Strip down to your jeans instead.”

  “But—”

  “Rob, if you’re uncomfortable, you’ve got to talk to me. Like everything else in our lives, you need to tell me when something is wrong. I’ll ask Father Christmas for mind-reading powers, but until he delivers, we need to communicate.” He couldn’t resist a little teasing.

  “Okay.”

  “Now, is there something you’d like to tell me?”

  Rob’s breaths were shallow and rapid. “I don’t like being naked in front of people.”

  “Doesn’t that make it difficult to have sex?”

  “It’s okay then. But the thought of people looking at me? To be honest, it freaks me out.”

  “But there’s no one—ah, the cameras.”

  Rob nodded. “I’m sorry. If you want—”

  “I want you to be comfortable. So, if you’re okay with it, strip down to your jeans.”

  Rob breathed out and his posture relaxed. He began to take off his shirt, shoes, and socks. While he did so, Vic went back to the cabinet and opened the doors. He reached in and pulled out what he wanted. When he turned back, Rob stood wearing only his jeans. Vic realized that even with a small amount of clothing, Rob was stunning.

  “I’d like you to lie down on the bed, on your back.”

  Rob complied, and Vic’s heart began to beat a little faster at the thought of what they were about to do. He approached the bed slowly, wanting to heighten Rob’s anticipation. He held out his hand to show Rob the mask from the cabinet.

  “Part of what we’re doing is working on trust,” Vic explained.

  “But I trust you,” Rob replied, his tone full of zeal.

  “I can see the way your breathing hitches. I understand that you are nervous about being naked, and that’s fine. One day, if we succeed in building trust, maybe you’ll be confident enough that nudity won’t be an issue. It wouldn’t matter to you if there were hundreds of people in the room because you would be doing it for me.” When Rob opened his mouth, Vic continued. “Trust is earned. I’m glad you’re able to put some trust in me, and I hope one day it will be enough for you to do as I ask. But if it’s not, that’s fine too. I will always respect—but continue to push—your limits. For now, we will continue to work on it.” He proffered the blindfold. “Now, take this from me and feel it. I want you to know exactly what I’m using.”

  Even though Vic was certain Rob was trying to prove his trust, the hand he held out still trembled.

  “This is going to be our first scene together,” Vic said, his voice hopefully soothing. “It’s going to be nothing more than me putting the mask over your eyes and talking to you. I won’t touch you unless you ask, and you’ve got your safeword if you need it. Do you want to do this?”

  Rob closed his eyes. “Yes. I do.”

  “Then let’s begin.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  VIC SLID the mask over Rob’s eyes, gently easing the elastic strip over his head.

  “Very nicely done,” he said softly. “I’m going to turn off all but one light, but I’m not leaving the room.”

  He noticed the tremor in Rob’s voice when he replied, “Okay.”

  Vic flicked off two of the three switches, leaving the room bathed in muted light. He returned to the bed and sat down beside Rob. “I’m back.”

  “No, really?”

  Rob’s snarky tone made Vic smile. He knew there was tension in Rob’s body. He could see it in the way Rob’s mouth tightened and his hands clenched into fists.

  “Relax. Nothing is going to hurt you, I promise. It’s just like meditating. We’re going to find your core spot. Focus on that.”

  “Will you….”

  “Yes?”

  Rob opened his hand. “Could you hold my hand?” He snorted. “It probably sounds stupid. I don’t know why I’m nervous.”

  Vic joined their hands and gave a light squeeze. “Would you believe me if I told you I am too?”

  “You?” Vic could hear the obvious incredulity.

  Vic sighed. “I’m going to be honest here. I want this to be good for you. I’m hopeful this will give you the glimpse you’ve been looking for and that you’ll want to move ahead in this lifestyle. With me, I mean.”

  Rob expelled a long push of air and his body relaxed. A feeling of relief spread through Vic. I’m right. This is what he needs.

  “Okay, now focus. Slow your breathing and clear your mind of all distractions. The only thing you should be thinking about is your happy thought. Remember that? In this room, with me, that’s the only thing that exists. You’re safe with me and you can let go.”

  The tightness around Rob’s mouth softened, and his grip on Vic’s hand loosened.

  “Good. Now focus on my voice. Keep that thought in your mind, though.”

  Rob nodded slightly, and Vic felt confident he could proceed.

  “This is a taste of what sensory deprivation is like. If we continue, we’ll be adding things to it while we work toward our ultimate goal.”

  Rob’s brow furrowed. “And what’s that?”

  “That is something to think about in the future. For now, stay still and listen to me. If we’re going to continue this, we’ll be drawing up a contract to state what your limits are. It will mean we’re going to be working together to push them as well. This—”

  “Vic?”

  “Hmm?” Vic g
azed at him in concern.

  “Shut up and touch me.” Rob’s lips twitched.

  Vic shook his head, even though he knew Rob couldn’t see him. The boy had such cheek. “You’re so cute, you know that? You think you’re in charge here.” Vic did his best not to chuckle. “That’s okay. You’ll learn the truth soon enough.”

  “Hang on. I’m sure I recall you saying something like it was the sub who was—”

  Vic skimmed his fingers over Rob’s chest, delighted when he sucked in a breath. Vic gripped a nipple and gave it a tweak, which elicited a sharp moan from Rob. He reached up and Vic snapped at him. “Put your hands back on the bed. If you move them, I stop. If you can’t listen to what I’m telling you, everything stops.”

  “Then get on with it,” Rob growled.

  Vic bent over and kissed Rob’s lips gently. When he pulled away, Rob chased the kiss. Vic grinned. “You know, I think I like seeing you this way. I can see your cock pressing against your jeans, and I bet you’d like it if I touched it, wouldn’t you?” He slid a hand over Rob’s crotch until Rob pressed up into it. Then Vic took his hand away.

  “Vic,” he whined.

  “Yes?”

  “For the love of God, please stop teasing. Suck me, let me suck you, or even fuck me if you want. Just do something.”

  “I am doing something,” Vic replied. “Exactly what I want. That should always be your primary concern. You should be asking yourself ‘Is this something that would make Vic happy?’ and if you can say it is, then you should be doing it.”

  “You’re a sadistic bastard, you know that?”

  “I can be,” Vic admitted. “And that’s part of what it means to be with me. You need to think very carefully about whether this is something you want or can even handle.”

  He reached down and unzipped Rob’s pants, allowing his cock to pop free. Vic wrapped his hand around the shaft and gave a few gentle strokes. Rob shivered, and Vic stilled, his fingers around the hard length. “So proud of you,” he murmured. “Letting go like this. That’s it. Trust me, forget the cameras.” The soft whine that issued from Rob’s throat told Vic he hadn’t forgotten, however. Vic worked his dick, waiting until Rob was pushing up with his hips, his breathing shallow. When Rob sighed, Vic stopped and tucked Rob’s straining erection back into his pants and zipped him up.