“Oh God… Christ. Please get here, get here now,” I bellowed. I kissed Lizzie’s forehead. Her blood was soaking my pant leg. Her eyes closed. My trembling fingers were soaked in her blood. I stroked her cheeks frantically. “Liz… oh no… Lizzie, stay with me, baby. Stay with me. I can’t do this… I can’t… I can’t… I need you, baby. Please, open your eyes, open your eyes, open your eyes.” I was gasping for air.
Sirens and lights flooded the entire house. I heard voices all around me. The paramedics quickly took over the scene. I was pulled away by several strong hands. I didn’t fight. My eyes were on her the whole time. The police tried to ask me questions, but it was like I was deaf. Everything was silent. I stood stock still as they put her on a gurney and started an IV. One paramedic held an oxygen mask to her mouth and another squeezed a bag of fluid with great force into her IV as they rushed her to the door. I tried to follow, but the police officers surrounded me. I came to my senses. I heard the paramedics shouting vitals.
“We gotta move Martinez, she’s lost a shit ton of blood,” one of the paramedics yelled with a stricken look on his face. I knew that look, and it crushed any hope I had.
“Please, I need to be with her,” I pleaded.
One of the officers looked at me for a long moment. “Garrett, let him ride in the bus with her. You go with him. We’ll follow behind. I’m sure the trauma team will need to know what went down here. Question him on the ride.”
“Got it. Let’s go.” The cop named Garrett grabbed my shoulder and shoved me toward the ambulance.
She wouldn’t be alone.
The muted light of the hospital hallway set a somber tone to my already desolate disposition.
She was gone.
I couldn’t possibly get to keep her after all this.
The ride in the ambulance watching her slip, feeling her strong presence fade, was the worst thing I’d ever had to endure. The cop, Garrett, questioned me the whole way. I explained everything, gave him my statement.
Do you think he gave me a moment to say goodbye when they took her away? He didn’t.
That piece of shit took away my last chance to see her. They hauled her off to surgery before I could touch her, kiss her, or tell her I loved her one last time.
Now, now the words will never be said.
I’ll always have them, trapped in my heart.
I sat in the hard chair, my elbows resting on my knees, my head hung low. The OR wing was quiet at this time of night. Officer Knowles, the detective, apparently assigned to the case, met us in the ER. After they had taken Elizabeth to the trauma elevator, he told me what they had found. My mother’s body was discovered upstairs in her bedroom, her throat slit, dead for what appeared to be approximately three hours. I should’ve been sad, but right then I couldn’t feel anything. The officer told me I was a person of interest and not to leave town. I laughed bitterly. I wasn’t going anywhere. I haven’t even called anyone yet.
I just can’t… process.
I can’t cry.
I can’t move.
I’m numb, completely fucking numb.
“Excuse me, sir, Mr. Bryant is it?” a female voice broke me from my trance. As soon as I saw her green surgical scrubs, I knew what she was here to tell me. My chest ached. My stomach was tight. I couldn’t breathe. I looked up at her. I couldn’t speak, so I nodded in recognition. “I’m Dr. Karris.” I nodded at her willing her to make it fast. Kill me fast, I silently begged. “You can call me Morgan. Ms. Haddington is in recovery. She was hypovolemic, we had to give her three units of blood. Once I found the bleeder, I was able to patch it up. She should be in the ICU for a couple of days, but she’s a fighter.” The doctor smiled at me.
My mind took a minute to catch up with what she was saying. Elizabeth… my light… my life… she was a fighter. She had lost so much blood, but she’d made it through. Strangled air made its way up my throat in a loud breathless gulp. I sent out a private prayer of thanks to heaven. I turned my face toward the ceiling trying to pull myself together. Once I caught my breath, I stood sharply.
“I need to see her,” my deep, loud voice carried down the hall. I scrubbed my palms down my tear stained face.
“She’s in recovery, sir—”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass right now about policy, rules or whatever bullshit you’re about to spew doc, I need to see my girl and I need to see her now.” My tone begged her to differ.
She looked at me a moment, almost like she was thinking of going toe-to-toe with me. This Morgan lady was bold.
Her shoulders dropped just a fraction before she spoke, “Follow me. She’s just leaving the OR and should be in the PACU.” Her medical jargon was lost on me. My face must have shown I didn’t completely understand. “That’s the Post Anesthesia Recovery Unit, only staff is allowed back there. Visitors are never normally allowed, but I’ll make an exception. Besides it will be good for her to hear your voice. She’s still sedated, but she can hear you.”
We walked down a long cold corridor. The hall smelled heavily of antiseptic. The air felt crisp with static. The back hallway was well lit. A few people busily walked by with yellow surgical hats, masks on their faces and blue slip covers on their shoes. The looks they gave me told me I stood out like a sore thumb. I appraised my own clothing. My pulse skipped when I realized I was still covered in dried blood… Liz’s blood. She directed me to a cart covered with linen. She handed me a bundle of what looked like the same scrubs she had on.
“I can’t have you walking around with blood all over you. The men’s locker room is around the corner. I’ll wait.” She gave me a hasty smile.
I didn’t hesitate. I quickly got dressed in the scrubs and threw away my clothes. I never wanted to see them again. This night will be charred in my mind and I didn’t need souvenirs. I met Dr. Karris in the hall again. We walked three small steps. Elizabeth was so close.
“She’s through that door. She looks pretty rough so prepare yourself.”
Nothing and I mean nothing prepared me for this.
The quiet sounds of medical equipment beeped and hummed throughout the room. A younger looking nurse pushed a small syringe into Liz’s IV. She looked up at me and smiled. The name tag hanging from her scrub top said Racheal. “She’s resting now. Come on in, don’t be shy. She’s doing just fine.” Dr. Karris must have told them I was coming while I got dressed. This was too warm a reception for something that was ‘not allowed.’
Elizabeth’s face was so quiet and pale she almost didn’t look real. I sat gently on the side of her bed, the sheets draped over her body making her look horribly fragile. The cracks in her lips were deep with dehydration. The stark white bandages over her gunshot wound were just a reminder of how I almost failed her. My panic kicked in.
“I almost lost you,” I whispered.
I told myself she’s here now. Her eyes were closed as I ran my fingers through her silky hair. This small touch caused shivers to run up my spine. I placed a small kiss on her cool cheek. Resting my forehead against hers, her breathing light and steady, blew against my lips.
We’d get through this.
We had to, there was no other choice.
The smell of chocolate, spice and Sawyer encircled me. The light buzzing sound and a squeezing sensation on my right arm caused me to open my eyes. As my lids fluttered open there in front of me was the most phenomenal sight. Sawyer’s big green eyes bore into mine. His lashes were damp and ringed in red, his lips mere inches from my mouth. I could taste his scent on my tongue.
“Hey,” my voice felt scratchy and my mouth was so dry. Sawyer’s sharp intake of breath slightly startled me. The faint sound of beeping wormed its way into my perfect bubble.
“Lizzie,” my name on his lips sounded desperate. He kissed me with such ease I thought I might break… break… the beeping noise in the background of this dream rapidly picked up its pace. Realizing the squeezing sensation on my arm was a blood pressure cuff, my vision clouded with sights I
didn’t want to see. There was blood everywhere… on me and on Sawyer. Sounds I didn’t want to hear… cracking bone. Smells that were too familiar… gun smoke. The room started to spin as the images of the night poured into the forefront of my mind.
“Oh no… no… Sawyer, what happened?” I cried.
“It’s okay, cricket. It’s all going to be okay.” Sawyer gazed upon me with anxious eyes. I heard a woman’s voice telling me to rest. I felt a minty feeling in my vein and then everything faded.
The bright sun made everything in the sterile room look so white. I had awoken the next day in a hospital room with IV tubes connected to me and a shoulder that felt as if it were on fire. Sawyer was sitting next to my bedside in the most uncomfortable looking torture device they called a chair. His head rested on my leg. I ran my fingers through his hair.
“Mmmm… you’re awake,” his voice was muffled by my leg.
“What happened?”
He looked at me like he didn’t want to tell me. Like reliving that night would be his end. My brows creased with anxiety.
“What happened?” I asked again.
Sawyer gently lingered his fingers over the bandages of my right shoulder. His face filled with regret. He hesitantly started telling me of the events that had occurred. I remembered most of what happened up until I was shot. Unfortunately for me, those memories will never fade.
“I’m so sorry. I feel like this is all my fault. Your mom… I shouldn’t have—”
“Stop right there, this isn’t your fault. My mother was dead way before you got there.” His eyes darkened at the mention of his mother’s death. “I’m just glad you’re alive. I didn’t think you were going to make it, baby,” his voice broke off.
I grabbed his hand in mine. “I’m here now.”
“Don’t ever do that again. Don’t ever put yourself in danger for me… if you… if you had died, I’d have never forgiven myself.” His hand found purchase against my cheek. The heat of his skin was like a balm to my heavy heart.
“It was so stupid of me and I’m so sorry.” My tears came hard now. Sawyer stood and sat next to me on the bed. He lightly fingered away the tears from my cheeks.
“Shh… sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay,” his lips whispered against mine.
He was right. Everything was okay or would be with time.
A few weeks after I left the hospital the police arrested Mr. Pike and his son Harper for embezzlement. The FBI had been doing an investigation on Bryant Communications. The company was on the cusp of going bankrupt which was related to some bad insider trading information. Apparently, the company’s CFO was dipping his hand in the cookie jar a little too much. It seemed Gavin Bryant, Pike senior and junior were involved in all sorts of despicable behaviors. Sawyer was cleared of any wrongdoing. The police seized all of the company and personal properties that belonged to Gavin and Mr. Pike. That’s when evidence came to light that Gavin Bryant had been involved in the abduction and murder of Ruby Crawford. The police threatened Pike with obstruction of justice, accessory to murder, and whatever else they could throw at him. Needless to say, he confessed to everything hoping to get a lesser charge.
Of course Cam, Todd, and his entire family were completely freaked. Sawyer called them the next day after I woke up and gave them the edited run-down of what happened. The Dixons fussed over me for days. Cam and Colby brought me all my favorite things. Leave it to Cam to make sure I had my one and only ChapStick. Todd came to the hospital every day for each of the four days I was there. Even though my being in the hospital completely wrecked him, I was so grateful to see him again. No matter what, he was my family. He and Sawyer seemed to get closer through the grief of almost losing me.
I withdrew from my obligations at the VA for a while. I needed to reconcile everything in my head before I could help others. My teachers were understanding and let me take an incomplete in all of my classes with the promise to start fresh in the fall. Going back to school right after everything had happened just wasn’t the best option for me.
Sawyer was my rock, and without him during this whole process of getting back to ‘normal,’ I probably would’ve fallen back into the black place I’d never wanted to return to, like when my parents had died. Sawyer was going through the motions with me. Therapy twice a week helped. But I think just being with him, loving him, sharing our hearts and bodies was all the therapy we needed. Finally, after the arrests happened, it seemed that we could move on.
Now, two months later, I’m physically healed. The other part, the part of me that still wakes up screaming to the sound of Gavin’s voice whispering in my ear, that part is not ready to let go. Each day is better though. My love, my life, Sawyer, he’s worth getting through it. He makes every shitty thing about my past and present disappear even if for a moment.
“What are you thinking about sweetheart?” Sawyer’s voice broke through my musings.
I gazed down at the headstone. It simply read, ‘Sylvia Bryant, Loving Mother, You will be missed.’ “You okay?” I looked into his sad green eyes.
“No, but I’m getting better.” These words I’d heard before. He looked down at the headstone and his jaw clenched.
“I didn’t get the chance with her that I wanted.”
“I know… but if you think about it at least you got to somewhat reconcile with her. When she died, she died knowing you cared and still loved her. That’s a good thing baby.” I clasped his hand in mine and he smiled down at me.
“You’re right.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “You ready to go?”
“Sure.” I kissed my fingers and placed them on Sylvia’s headstone.
This life, this crazy life.
Mack was the worst when she was pregnant. I swear if I had to hear her whine one more damn time about the heat I was going to lose my mind. Elizabeth and I decided to take a short summer trip to California. She felt because of everything that had happened this spring she needed to take a break from school, from life. My mother left me quite a sizable amount of life insurance so I was able to take leave from the business and because I’m a stubborn idiot, it was hard for me to accept the money at first. Elizabeth said it was my mother’s way of taking care of me, when she hadn’t in the past and couldn’t in the future. My Lizzie is so smart. I tell her all the time what a great recreational therapist she’s going to be. Besides, I had hired Colby to help out around the shop. He really had some serious skill when it came to wood and welding.
“Seriously I’m dying out here. It’s a million degrees, I’m swollen and constipated, don’t even get me started on—”
“Woman, I swear to—”
Mack’s voice was like nails on a chalk board. “Don’t even say it Greg. You did this to me, so now you have to deal with it.” She stood up from her sitting position in the sand and stomped her foot like a toddler.
I chuckled. “Oh shit, Greg, you really did it this time,” I laughed as I sipped my beer. My back pressed against my mesh beach chair. The cool evening breeze pulled the ocean spray across the bare skin of my chest. Elizabeth and I rented a beachfront house for the week. We needed this time for us, everything around us was always spinning so fast. It was a nice reconnect and this was our last night here. I was hoping it would be a special night, but Mack, well she sort of didn’t care what I wanted.
“Can’t we just leave? Besides it’s getting dark and I’m hungry,” Mackenzie moaned.
“You guys can go. We’ll see you tomorrow at your place for breakfast before we head back?” Elizabeth, ever the peace keeper, folded to Mack’s demands.
“Thank God, let’s go!”
Greg gave Liz a silent look of appreciation as he packed up their beach chairs and cooler. After a few quick curt goodbyes, Elizabeth and I were alone. My eyes drank her in as she stood on the shoreline watching the sun set completely behind the horizon. She had on a navy blue and white polka dot bikini with red trim. The small anchor tattoo on her right shoulder blade stood out proudly
where it sat, close to the scar of her bullet wound. She said it was a ‘representation’ of her love for me. She had said, ‘You’ll always keep me safe, still, and bound to this safe place, you… you’re my anchor.’ A stupid lopsided grin popped across my sappy ass face at that thought. I leisurely gazed at her curves on full display, I could hardly stand it. I walked up behind her and pulled her close. Her skin was rough with goose bumps.
“You cold, baby?” I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist.
“Mmm… not now.” She tilted her head back against my body. Her windblown hair hung loosely against my chest. I brought my lips to the curve of her neck and she smelled unbelievable. The gardenia perfume she always wore mixed with the scent of ocean water, salt and that thing that was just her, clouded my head with lust. I pulled my palm across her belly and kneaded the flesh of her hip, pushing her backside against me. A seductive sound escaped from her parted, plump lips. I turned her toward me, our bodies flush. I bit that plump bottom lip before I consumed her with my kiss. She drew away from my mouth breathless.
“I could do that all damn day.” I grinned right before I kissed her again just as deeply.
When she pulled away, she sighed. “I bet you could,” she said, her tone playful. She smiled up at me then and everything in my universe clicked. She was it. She was all I wanted in my life, every day when I woke up, the first person I talked to each day, the first person I called when I had something important to share. She was the person I needed in my bed at night, the body I craved… the woman I loved. She was my beginning and my end.
“Marry me?” I gazed down at the blue eyes I never wanted to be without. “Marry me, Elizabeth.”
Liz’s hands trembled against my chest. Her eyes glistened. She gazed up at me with dark wet lashes and a smile that almost brought me to my damn knees. “Really?” her voice was faint.
Still Life (Forever Still #1) Page 23