by Ye Zhaoyan
"Who would dare to lash out at our mistress?" Xiaoyun said, laughing.
"I asked you, what's the big deal about you?"
Xiaoyun could bear anything but Miss Yu's contempt for him. He rudely retorted, "Why, is there a big deal about you?"
"You…"
"What about me? My lady, don't get me wrong. I am neither your family servant, not your private houseboy. Everyone in this Estate has to obey you, but I'm afraid I don't! It's my own business if I'm in a good mood or not. If I want to be in a good mood, then I will be! And if I don't feel like it, it's nobody's business."
Miss Yu said resentfully, "Hey, who do you think you are?"
"Who do you think I am, my lady? You find me unsatisfactory, do you?" Xiaoyun's expression was more than displeased; it had become altogether ferocious. "Everyone who comes into your Zhen family home has to wag his tail like a dog, pretending to be ever-so-happy, is that it?"
"Hey, tell me what you mean. What about this Zhen Family?
"What about you Zhens? Nothing, that's what. All these people, living off you Zhens, you Zhens, are all wonderful people, everyone knows that. Your father, your brother, and you young lady. But why ask me? In your heart, you know all about it!"
Miss Yu didn't understand at all. She really had no idea what had made Xiaoyun so angry. Xiaoyun seemed to have realized that he had behaved excessively. He pushed his bicycle out of the Estate but Miss Yu blocked his path: "Your departure is not permitted. Tell me clearly what you meant!" Xiaoyun could not go any further, and taking his chances, he picked up the bicycle, changed direction, and prepared again to leave. There was nothing Miss Yu could do, so she ran after him and asked him where he was going. Xiaoyun turned back and said, "Why should I tell you where I'm going?"
Miss Yu, livid, pursued him for a few steps but had to give up. Filled with fury, she picked up a rock and threw it in Xiaoyun's direction. Xiaoyun, on his bike, ducked reflexively. Soon he had vanished.
10
At dusk, in the last moments of sunlight, Miss Yu bathed in her tub, the curtain drawn. She had already been in the bath a long time. Like a loyal guard dog, Huaifu was posted at the door of the washroom. This was a task, which he had once regarding as deeply embarrassing, was now totally routine. Even the maid and Fourth did not regard this chore as in any way surprising. Although Miss Yu would frequently show her contempt for Huaifu, it was evident that she liked having him around to serve as a houseboy. Sometimes, Miss Yu seemed to be doing it on purpose. Miss Yu liked to have a man serving her. For so many years, women had been serving men, a situation that seemed to be an iron rule. Miss Yu thought of her dead father, and her invalid brother Naixiang. She thought of the agreeable life they had led, surrounded by beautiful women, wives and concubines in abundance, and the thought made her green with envy. If a man could wield such authority, why shouldn't a woman give it a try?
Ever since the outing with Xiaoyun to see the Civilized play, his attitude towards her had infuriated her. Soaking in her bath, she couldn't help thinking again about Xiaoyun's insubordination to her. As soon as she thought of his noncommittal tone, a mood that was hard to describe would come over Miss Yu. She felt that she would become easily provoked and irascible. She wanted very much to summon him and have another vigorous argument with him.
From her bath, Miss Yu suddenly yelled for Huaifu, she always yelled for him, and didn't worry a bit about what others would think about it. Behind the curtain, Huaifu quickly answered, without knowing what she wanted him for. Miss Yu was subject to sudden strange caprices. When Huaifu had answered, Miss Yu hesitated and then said, "Huaifu, did you hear me? Bring the opium in."
"Did you want to smoke now, young lady?" Huaifu said, surprised, his face showing incredulous dread. Through the curtain, he could tell that Miss Yu was still in her bath. The last daylight was coming through the west windows and falling in the bathroom. Any action of Miss Yu's could not be excessive, but Huaifu was flabbergasted nevertheless, and didn't know whether he ought to obey not.
Miss Yu said, "I told you to get it, so go get it. Why are you blithering?"
Huaifu immediately and obediently went to fetch the opium things in Miss Yu's room. He took them up with an unsettled heart, and looked furtively all around. Then he rushed to the door of the bathroom with the opium things, standing outside the curtain and full of hesitation. Now that he had done as Miss Yu had commanded, he didn't know what the next step was. He calmed himself and gave a little cough.
Miss Yu said, unmistakably, "Just come in."
Huaifu turned around and looked, still hesitating. How could he fail to hesitate, since Miss Yu was lying naked in the bath? At this thought, his blood roiled and his breathing became labored. Through the curtain he saw Miss Yu's head floating above the tub and heard her say impatiently, "Hey, did you hear me? I've got clothes on."
Huaifu kept his head bowed and brought the opium things into the bathroom. He felt a nameless disappointment. He put the tray with the opium things on one side, struck a match, and lit the lamp with trembling hands. He used the tweezers to scoop out an opium pill and vaporized it over the flame. After a moment, he put it into the opium pipe and inhaled. Soaking in her tub, Miss Yu was not as naked as Huaifu had thought, and in fact she was wearing fancy lingerie, waiting motionlessly for Huaifu to blow the smoke for her.
Huaifu began to exhale the smoke over her face. By this time, it seemed that Miss Yu had already fallen asleep. Under the influence of the opium, Miss Yu was half-conscious, and her eyes were half-open, her mouth rhythmically gaping, like a fish's. Although she was wearing lingerie, but the soaking clothing was either floating in the water or stuck closely to her body, and both represented incredible temptations to Huaifu. Miss Yu, separated by a layer of lingerie, was even more alluring than naked. The last rays of light cast over Miss Yu like a net, and the smoke floating in the air made everything seem more and more unreal. Miss Yu was like a flower in full bloom, flowering without reservation, open to man.
Huaifu's whole body seemed to be aflame, the intense passion coursed like a rat running to and fro in his veins. The torment he was undergoing was visible on his face. He looked greedily at Miss Yu in the bath, his courage gaining moment by moment, because he knew that Miss Yu was actually encouraging him. Miss Yu was a woman who felt the absence of male violence, she needed or desired violence. Huaifu already had a physical connection with Miss Yu. From a certain perspective, he already had her. He imagined the possibility of making love to her again. Miss Yu was so close and yet so far—right in front of his eyes. Huaifu could no longer control himself.
Miss Yu turned her head and asked carelessly, "What's wrong with you?" Huaifu froze, almost dropping the opium pipe. He thrust out his right hand and tightly pressed down on his own lower body, his face suffused with shame. A wave of sudden pleasure accompanied by enormous happiness and dejection enveloped him entirely. Like lava from a volcano, his body was erupting. Miss Yu seemed to have noticed something—or perhaps not. She threw him a casual glance, and again closed her eyes.
After having held his breath for some time, Huaifu now finally exhaled. The water in the tub had already cooled, and Miss Yu rose, soaked to the bone, from the tub. Huaifu did not have the courage to face the idol of his heart frankly. Miss Yu's large and pert breasts seemed to him like two warm buns, drawing the eye from beneath her sodden clothing. Huaifu gave her a quick glance, bowed his head took the opium tray and fearfully slunk from the bathroom. At the door, he hears Miss Yu say:
"Huaifu, tonight, I'll go to your room."
Huaifu could never understand why it had been that night she had chosen to go to his room. In the numerous encounters which followed, it was always Miss Yu who absolutely took the initiative. When she felt like she needed Huaifu, she would appear unexpectedly in his room. She didn't disguise her needs at all, she observed no taboos, even on the days when her menstruation was not entirely done, she would appear on her own initiative to make love to Huaifu. Once the long
rainy season began, Miss Yu's desire became incredibly robust. Huaifu discovered that she seemed to be insatiable. Everything began from that unforgettable night. For Huaifu that night became almost as important as the sacred first time.
That was the evening, following up from that first night, in which Miss Yu entered Huaifu's room for the first time. Huaifu, nervously awaiting her, lacked confidence and was filled with self-doubt. He could hardly believe that Miss Yu would come as she had said, since she didn't have to bear responsibility for anything she said. Time was moving incredibly slowly, and Miss Yu still had not come. More than once, Huaifu went to the door and looked with deep feeling at the lamp in Miss Yu's room. It was a night when the rainy season was about to begin, and the air had begun to grow heavy. Everything pointed to rain on the following day.
Just when Huaifu was feeling completely desperate, Miss Yu finally arrived. Full of excitement, she had a look around Huaifu's room. Seeing that her calligraphy was clipped up everywhere, she was satisfied with Huaifu's bitter love for her. Just as Xiaoyun's arrogance was a kind of stimulation for her, Huaifu's caution also made her excited and brave. She looked at the helpless Huaifu with condescension, then walked to the edge of his bed and undressed with abandon. One by one, she removed each item of clothing and threw it on the bed. Then she was standing nakedly there, silently letting Huaifu admire her.
11
The interminable rain season made it seem like a hole had been poked in the sky. It rained so much that it became impossible to go out. Without anything to do, stuck inside, Miss Yu occasionally thought of ways to make a little trouble. She had never been one to avoid trouble, and now that she had the say-so in the Estate, she felt that it would be more fun if she stirred something up. Besides immersing herself in the wildness of making love to Huaifu, she felt it would be better if she had something else to do.
With regards to Xiaoyun, she still had the desire to take revenge on him. Ever since the day of the Civilized play, when he had mocked her, she had thought on innumerable occasions of ways to take her revenge. There oughtn't to be anyone left on the state who could defy her will. What was the big deal about Xiaoyun? So he had studied for a couple of years, had seen a little bit of the world. He shouldn't think that he had become a big deal just because he was always wearing dark glasses. It seemed to Miss Yu that he should be made to feel the brunt of her power. She didn't want to bring him to his knees, but she did want to teach him a lesson.
The rain seemed like it might stop for a moment, but then it began again. It was a constant drizzle; then suddenly the sun came out. Miss Yu seemed to have prepared for this, and she walked idly down the corridor. This time, Huaifu did not follow her in his character of houseboy. She walked casually into Suqin's courtyard, and looked ostentatiously about.
The tedium of the rainy season was irritating. Xiaoyun was standing beneath the eaves, playing listlessly with a bird in a cage. Miss Xiaoyun walked up to him and looked at the birdcage provokingly. Xiaoyun had obviously felt her arrive, but was pretending not to have seen her, and was continuing to play with the birds in the cage. Naixiang was sitting motionlessly in his wheelchair, having been left at Suqin's door, looking at the courtyard with his rigid expression. Miss Yu turned her head and cast an indifferent glance at her brother. Just then, she saw Suqin appear behind her brother. Suqin squeezed past Naixiang, smiling and waving at Miss Yu, saying, "Why, sister! What's brought you here?"
Miss Yu answered, "Me? I've come to see your darling brother."
Suqin continued to smile, a little ill at ease, and now the smile became quite forced, "What, has Xiaoyun offended you again? I can see that right away. Dear sister, Xiaoyun's character is a little odd, don't you mind him." Miss Yu said, smiling, "Sister, you've got it wrong, it was my fault, I handled it wrong, I'm the one who offended Xiaoyun." Xiaoyun pretended not to have heard her and played with the birds without any expression. Miss Yu looked at him, and said meaningfully, "Your brother's so wonderful, he's had a modern education, he knows a lot of fresh new things. How could he offend me, of course it was I who offended him."
Suqin had nothing to reply, she knew that her sister-in-law was spoiled, and didn't dare offend her. For this reason her smile became even more forced and she said, "Xiaoyun, I'm sure you've done something to make her unhappy." Xiaoyun turned his head affectedly and said, "I've done nothing to make anyone unhappy. My lady, have I done something to make you unhappy? No—you see—I told you I hadn't." His solemnity made Miss Yu laugh, and this time it was a real laugh. Sometimes it was rather fun to cross swords with Xiaoyun. In these annoying, boring days, it was a welcome distraction to have a little skirmish. Suqin's face expressed great doubts. She didn't know what had happened between them. Xiaoyun, pretended that nothing was happening, continued the pretense of playing with the bird. He bit his lip, barely discernible.
Unwilling to leave well enough alone, Miss Yu remarked casually, "Hey, what kind of bird have you got here?"
"All you need to know is that it's a bird, what do you care what kind it is? Besides, if you know the answer, then why tell you?—and if you don't know the answer, then telling you won't enlighten you!" Xiaoyun clearly knew that Miss Yu was up to no good, and answered her harshly.
"Xiaoyun!" Suqin prevented him from going on.
Miss Yu's face had gone beet-red, and she looked like she might explode at any moment. Xiaoyun walked off as though nothing at happened. In the very first round of the day, Xiaoyun seemed to have won just by opening his mouth. Miss Yu had been defeated without a fight, and was beaten into an unfavorable position. She walked up to the cage and smiled malevolently. Suddenly, she opened the little door of the cage, shook it mischievously, trying to make the bird fall out. The frightened bird flapped its wings in the cage, fluttering about in a panic, and finally fell out the cage door. It cheeped and flew up and away. Neither Xiaoyun nor Suqin had believed she would do such a thing, and stared at Miss Yu.
Miss Yu said seriously, "A nice little bird like that, why coop it up in a cage?" she casually gave the birdcage a push, and the empty cage swung in the air on its chain.
Xiaoyun's face was ashen. He looked coldly at Miss Yu and said nothing. Miss Yu knew she was looking at him, but she didn't care at all, not least because her purpose had been to provoke Xiaoyun. Suqin, startled, didn't know what to say and finally mumbled, "Might as well, that's fine, let it go, why should a man his age play with birds all day…"
Miss Yu said in leisurely fashion, deliberately not looking at Xiaoyun, "It really doesn't matter. Xiaoyun, if you mind, I'll have the servants get you another one, and give it back to you. Hey, do you mind?" Xiaoyun, angry to the last degree, said pugnaciously, "I don't mind, why should I mind?" Miss Yu saw that she had succeeded provoked him, and smiled at her feat. This is what she had been aiming for, she had wanted to hurt him, wanted to bring him to his wit's end. This was the strongest revenge against his arrogance. Who asked him to wear those pretentious dark glasses or answer her in that ambivalent way, as if everybody owed him something?
Xiaoyun's gaze was following the birdcage, which still swung in mid-air. He slowly turned his head and looked in vain for the vanished little bird. Miss Yu, adding insult into injury, remarked, "You don't mind, do you? You're all flustered!" Xiaoyun had nothing to say. His face was pale and greenish and he looked at Miss Yu with ferocious eyes, finally managing to say, "Don't you be too pleased with yourself, young lady!"
Miss Yu smiled innocently, quite satisfied with things. Why shouldn't she be pleased with herself, today was a day for unadulterated bliss.
Xiaoyun's eyes fell upon Naixiang, sitting at the door. He stared at him fixedly, and couldn't help but shudder. Naixiang's eyes were looking at him without expression, still with that rigidity, that ridiculous look, and behind that stiff and ridiculous look, something seemed to be hidden. Xiaoyun seemed to have received some inspiration, he impulsively rushed up behind Naixiang, pushed the wheelchair in front, and pushed it all the way to the midd
le of the courtyard. Miss Yu was forced to scramble out of the way. Suddenly, Xiaoyun turned the chair around to face Miss Yu, nearly causing Naixiang to fall out of the chair. Furiously, he said, "Don't you think, young lady, that you're just like a bird too, a bird in its birdcage, a bird that should always be set free, into the world, to enjoy your freedom? But take a good look, Miss Yu. In years gone by, your brother was quite the impressive man, but now?"
Miss Yu was stunned.
Xiaoyun continued, "Take a good look, what's he like now?"
Suqin shouted fearfully, "Xiaoyun, don't talk nonsense!"
Xiaoyun ignored Suqin's warning, and said venomously, "I'm not talking nonsense, why should I talk nonsense. But I fear I may have to remind Miss Yu that it doesn't suit people to be too pleased with themselves, too boastful. Who can tell what a might become of a person afterwards?"
Miss Yu was entirely flabbergasted by Xiaoyun's ominous talk. She looked at her brother's rigid, ridiculous face, and was thrown into the wildest confusion. It was clear that Xiaoyun's rage was a little abnormal, and Miss Yu discovered that her superior position was slowly dwindling under his aggression. She couldn't believe that such words had passed Xiaoyun's lips. Xiaoyun said, almost cursing her, "Have a good look, Miss Yu! This is how you Zhens end up!"
Miss Yu could feel her heart thumping. Even though she had set his beloved bird free, even though he had once been deeply traumatized, none of it justified the things he was saying. He might be a little arrogant, even a little eccentric, but to throw a curse on her in this way, this venom—it really flabbergasted her. Xiaoyun did not regret his words, and looked at Miss Yu through his dark glasses. Their darkness concealed his inscrutable expression, and no one could have told what he was really thinking.