A Flower’s Shade

by Ye Zhaoyan

  2

  Xiaoyun was like a new man on his bicycle, skillfully weaving in and out of the Estate buildings. The willful arrogance which was so often visible on his face seemed to have disappeared along with the enigmatic dark glasses. He now looked like a modern young man, with just a touch of the fashionable, both straightforward and innocent. Miss Yu sat on the back of the bike, holding onto Xiaoyun's waist, emitting sharp giggles at each shocking new rattle of the bike. The bike faced no obstacles in the Estate. The methods that had been taken to ease the passage of Naixiang's wheelchair allowed Xiaoyun, with his riding skills, to get pretty much anywhere he liked.

  In the shade of the parasol tree, at the corner of the wall, was a high cluster of canna lilies, and by the canna lilies stood Huaifu's strapping figure. He stood there like a stone, his eyes filled with envy. Xiaoyun had Miss Yu on the back of his bike and was riding slowly down the long walkway, crossing through one courtyard and entering another. For days, Huaifu had been secretly monitoring their every move. He was wholly aware of everything that occurred, everything seemed to be happening openly and right beneath his eyes. There were details and facts he could never have dreamt of, he didn't dare believe that his idol, the angelic Miss Yu, could really be so utterly shameless. So she really was willing to give herself away to a man so easily. Huaifu simply could not believe that Miss Yu was so shameless in the matter of sexual love, so insatiable, so oblivious to the proper limits.

  When night was about to fall, Huaifu had concealed himself more than once outside Miss Yu's window to eavesdrop. He knew that he was behaving in a vile and foolish fashion, but he couldn't stop himself. People often have no control over themselves. Huaifu knew that Miss Yu could never belong to him. Their incestuous relationship had already reached its high-water mark. He knew that he had no right to interfere with Miss Yu making love to another man.

  What actually happened every night in Miss Yu's room was more or less always the same. Just the fact that Xiaoyun spent every night with Miss Yu was enough to provoke Huaifu's intense hatred. Xiaoyun had won her affection too easily. It didn't matter what he said, he didn't even seem to need to make an effort, and yet Miss Yu practically swooned with love. Over and over again, he talked about what had happened and was happening in the outside world. The outside world was so enormous, and everything Xiaoyun said was enough to provoke Miss Yu's great interest. They would often begin to fight again unreasonably, over small matters. Fighting was a particular way they had of showing each other affection. The fights came on suddenly and ended just as abruptly. They fought and then suddenly they were reconciled, the voices growing gradually softer, and then he could sense that the two of them had gone to bed. Bed was evidently always the conclusion of a fight.

  Huaifu could only wait motionlessly in the darkness for that conclusion. He could only stand there motionlessly, listen motionlessly, as though he were waiting for judgment at the apocalypse. He had no other choice. Several nights in a row, he had endured this brutal suffering. On one night of thunder and rain, Huaifu had stood in the rain like a drowned rat. The rain poured down, but there was a light on in Miss Yu's room. Through the bamboo curtain, he could see Xiaoyun teasing Miss Yu with something.

  He was practically glued to the curtain, he knew the conclusion was imminent. They were about to perform the scene he wanted to see least of all. It was a constantly repeated tragedy, a nightmare that never concluded. Huaifu felt again and again that his heart was about to fall to pieces. In terms of sexual indulgence, Miss Yu possessed unthinkable courage. She was the kind of woman who had a truly audacious lust, a sexual addiction. Even though it wasn't long since she had lost her virginity, her wildness, her indulgence could have put any mature woman to shame. Huaifu, in extremes of pain, finally closed his eyes. The rain pelted viciously down, and Huaifu's face might have been covered in raindrops or tears. He could sense Miss Yu's panting getting heavier. Gradually, Miss Yu's untrammeled moaning lost all restraint, rising and falling with the sounds of the rain. Lightning flashed, and as the sound of the rain, the sound of Miss Yu's moaning, persisted, Huaifu couldn't tell anymore whether what he felt was jealousy or whether the urgency of the sound had awakened some impulse, but he suddenly opened his eyes, stuffed his fist in his mouth, and bit down on it violently. Another bright bolt of lightning, and the rain was slowing, the room growing quiet. By the lamp, darkened by the curtain, Huaifu could see that a dark line of blood was flowing from his wrist.

  3

  Miss Yu seemed to have noticed Huaifu's unease. She was after all a woman, and even instinctively she could tell what lay behind a man's reaction. However, she didn't let the unease bother her, because Huaifu's attitude on the matter did not interest her at all. In fact, there were some things it was impossible to hide from Huaifu. Miss Yu couldn't do without Huaifu, but Huaifu was in a very delicate position. He wasn't a steward, or a servant, he was like her confidant, and also like her henchman, because in any affair she not only didn't need to deceive him, she could even confidently leave him to make the arrangements. For instance, when she went to see Xiaoyun, or when she and Xiaoyun had their trysts, she didn't need to worry at all about making sure he would do this or that.

  It was unendurable for Huaifu. It wasn't Miss Yu alone who didn't treat him like a human being, even Xiaoyun completely ignored his existence. Xiaoyun always behaved to him with perfect arrogance, it was as though he wasn't aware of Huaifu as a person at all. Sometimes he would give Huaifu a cold look, and the look would often destroy Huaifu's confidence entirely, causing him to panic, as though he had done something wrong. As long as there was Xiaoyun, Huaifu was constantly aware of feeling superfluous.

  A scar remained where he had bitten deeply into his flesh, on the night of the rainstorm. In the end, Miss Yu happened to notice it, but she didn't realize how it had come about. She had casually asked Huaifu about it, but they had dropped the subject. That night, perhaps it was because of the opium addiction, or because Xiaoyun hadn't satisfied her—yet in any event she had surprisingly appeared in Huaifu's room, before his anxious expression. It happened the way it happened before, Miss Yu arriving in disheveled clothing, her face blossoming with springtime energy. What surprised Huaifu even more was that this time Miss Yu had brought the opium tray with her, rather than coming empty-handed, as in the past, and then commanding him to go fetch the things.

  "I knew you wouldn't be asleep." was Miss Yu's straightforward opening, which frightened Huaifu, since the meaning of this remark could easily mean that she had already discovered that he had been spying on her and Xiaoyun. Huaifu obsequiously remarked that he was just preparing to go to bed. It was quite late already, and so his explanation was not all that credible. Fortunately Miss Yu didn't bother pursuing the matter, she stretched herself lazily on Huaifu's bed and waited for him to blow the smoke for her.

  Late that night, the smoke was coiling through Huaifu's room. Miss Yu was soon intoxicated. When she was with Xiaoyun, she always deliberately suppressed her addiction. But suppressing it was quite hard for her. All the modern types hated opium, and Miss Yu didn't want to anger Xiaoyun, didn't want him to hold her in contempt for it. The few drags of opium now felt wonderfully fragrant.

  "What a lovely smell!" Miss Yu couldn't help saying, sniffing about in the air like a dog, deeply inhaling the cloud of smoke which enveloped her face, and finally falling asleep. As Miss Yu lay in her intoxication, Huaifu wanted nothing more than to cry. He couldn't help thinking of her and Xiaoyun in bed, he couldn't stop his thoughts. Without any doubt, without Xiaoyun, this would now be the moment he most looked forward to, when Miss Yu had had her opium, and she blossomed forth to him like a flower. In an extreme of passion, she would be letting him enter. Huaifu's heart quivered with pain, because he couldn't at such a moment fail to think of the cruel fact that not long before, on this very same evening, Miss Yu had been crying like a cat in heat, moaning wildly beneath Xiaoyun's body. Another man's fluid was still on her body.

  Hu
aifu stretched out his hand, which was already scabbing. It shook in the air, it was like the hand didn't belong to him anymore. Miss Yu opened her eyes, grabbed his hand, and saw once more the bite. "What have you done to your hand?" she said, not fully understanding.

  "The cat. The cat scratched me." Huaifu anxiously tried to back his hand.

  "The cat?" Miss Yu said. She was curious, and held his hand tight. She examined it closely, touched it lightly and said, in disbelief, "Why would the cat scratch you? What cat, anyway?"

  Huaifu stammered and failed to answer, and gathered up the opium things uneasily. Miss Yu suddenly and stubbornly grabbed at his hand again. She was still lying down, and so grabbing Huaifu was obviously purposeful. Huaifu stood there, stunned, not daring to believe that at a moment like this she still wanted to tease and torment him. Without a word, Miss Yu forcibly pulled him close to her, and Huaifu landed, half-unwillingly, on top of Miss Yu.

  "You bitch, you insatiable bitch!" for the first time, Huaifu cursed her, his heart brimful of poison.

  4

  Xiaoyun and Zha Liangzhong ran into each other in the corridor, and looked at one another without amity. Liangzhong greeted him awkwardly: "Master Xiaoyun, where are you going?" Xiaoyun looked at him coldly said nothing. Everyone in the Estate, from the highest to the lowliest, knew that Liangzhong was an indefatigable suitor; everyone talked about it behind his backs, and even outside the Estate this was the case. Unavoidably, Xiaoyun felt a kind of sourness towards Liangzhong, though at the same time he felt irrepressible smugness.

  Both of them happened to be going to see Miss Yu. Entering the courtyard, Xiaoyun suddenly remembered something as he turned around and was about to leave. But Miss Yu had already heard him coming, and she shouted at him: "Xiaoyun!"

  At the sound of her calling him, Xiaoyun hesitated a moment and then suddenly changed his mind and resolved to stay. Liangzhong could tell almost immediately that some kind of understanding existed between Xiaoyun and Miss Yu, but, being shameless, he still tried to ingratiate himself with Miss Yu, as though he didn't know anything about it, "Your complexion is lovely these days, Miss Yu."

  Miss Yu's eyes were shining, and she ignored Liangzhong entirely, staring straight at Xiaoyun, and saying uncomprehendingly, "What is it now? You're going to leave before you even got here? I've been waiting a long time for you."

  Xiaoyun said coldly, "You have a guest." Liangzhong looked at the two of them; he was used to the frigidity Miss Yu showed him, but he couldn't understand why Miss Yu would tolerate the frigidity Xiaoyun exhibited towards her. Women really were unfathomable. Liangzhong was sure that he was an old hand at flattering women, but he still hadn't made sense of Miss Yu's temperament. "He doesn't count, that's no damn guest." Miss Yu looked at Liangzhong, seemingly unaffected by Xiaoyun's coldness. Quite the opposite, she asked him caringly, "You were fine, why are you upset again?"

  Xiaoyun realized that Liangzhong was watching them. He smiled faintly and dissembled, "I'm not upset…why should I be upset?" Miss Yu pouted, "Not upset! Just look at yourself." Xiaoyun now smiled in earnest and said, "I'm happy now, aren't I?"

  Liangzhong, standing nearby, was unwilling to be overlooked. He seized the opportunity to ingratiate himself with Miss Yu, "That's true, Xiaoyun is telling the truth. Who could stay upset when they see you, Miss Yu? As long as you're happy, Miss Yu, we all have to be happy. Even if we're upset, we have to conscientiously pretend to be happy, isn't that so, Master Xiaoyun? See, Master Xiaoyun doesn't answer, that means…" Miss Yu broke out in loud laughter at these attempts to curry favor. Xiaoyun also broke into laughter. Liangzhong continued to blither, "I guess you don't even know who you really are to us, Miss Yu. Let me tell you, though I don't know if you'll believe me, how people talk about you on the outside. On the outside, they say you're holding the big red knot of marriage in your hands, and that you might throw it for someone to catch at any moment."

  "What nonsense. I don't have any red knot of marriage in my hands." Of course Miss Yu knew that Liangzhong was trying to cajole her, but she enjoyed this kind of compliment.

  "Nonsense, from me, Zha Liangzhong? You can say what you like about me. But what you don't know is that last time when all the suitors were here, if you had gone outside onto the big street and collared anyone, and asked—just asked anyone—whether they knew about it, why if he hadn't been able to tell you the truth of the matter from top to bottom, then I'm a goddamn liar. I'm telling you the truth, in this town of ours, if you want to know who's most famous, I'm sure you won't believe me if I tell you, no, you won't believe me." Liangzhong was beaming, gesturing persuasively, "Do you know who it is? It's—it's you, Miss Yu."

  Xiaoyun stood there silently, he knew that this was just exaggerated flattery on Liangzhong's part, although he also knew that Miss Yu's huge fortune was making many mouths water. Who would marry Miss Yu in the end was a question that was keeping a lot of people in the town in suspense. Who fell in love with Miss Yu, or who Miss Yu fell in love with—that wasn't important. What people were generally interested in was who would end up in possession of the Zhen property.

  Since Miss Yu was happy to listen, Liangzhong continued his voluble encomium, until it began to annoy even the temperamental Miss Yu, "Don't just keep going, alright, is that all? Are you done?" Miss Yu interrupted Liangzhong rudely, "The whole room is echoing with your voice, it's annoying. If there's something you want to say, say it, and if you've got wind, then fart it. And if you're done, then buzz off!"

  Liangzhong smiled ingratiatingly, in any case he was shameless, he didn't care. He held it in for a moment, and then, right in front of Xiaoyun, he said openly, "I made an offer through your sister-in-law, and I think you ought to give me an answer! There's never a moment that you're not in my mind! Miss Yu, give me an answer."

  Miss Yu said, "Didn't I give you my answer long ago?"

  5

  Miss Yu had kicked Liangzhong out of the house. He didn't mind at all that he had once again run into a brick wall. A few steps outside of Miss Yu's rooms, he began to hum a little tune. A watched pot never boils, and Miss Yu was an untamable spirit. It would take time to slowly discipline her. He pursued his pleasant calculations as he walked along the corridor, and when he had almost reached the great Estate, he turned back and gave a look around before rushing off for Suqin's courtyard.

  Having gained no advantage with Miss Yu, why not make it up at Suqin's? Liangzhong slipped into her courtyard like a thief, scratching past a bush of blooming roses, and lifting the bamboo curtain over the door, he stepped into Suqin's room. Suqin was looking bored, sitting in front of a square table playing dominoes. It hadn't occurred to her that Liangzhong might appear, and she was greatly surprised. Liangzhong peered around, approached the table, and began to lay hands on her.

  Suqin stood hastily up, and put her finger over her own lips to hush him. Then she tiptoed to the door, raised the curtain, went out, and stood in the courtyard. As though there was nothing going on, she stood and looked briefly all around, then slipped back into the room. Liangzhong was waiting for her at the door, and as soon as she came in, he embraced her. Suqin made no coy struggles, but lit up like firewood meeting a spark, more impatiently than Liangzhong. Ever since last time at the hotel, Suqin had been waiting for this opportunity. When Suqin suggested they go into the bedroom, Liangzhong said why go to the trouble, in the parlor was just fine.

  When men and women really do begin an affair, they become amazingly brave, like they've excreted some new source of courage. They forget all of their worries, and think only of making use of the time they have. They don't speak much either, they just get straight to the point. Suqin was tall and large, Liangzhong couldn't even carry her, so he just had to drag her towards the table, and, having reached its edge, he lifted her up to perch on it. Suqin's hands were busy, freeing the knickers beneath her cheongsam, and the two of them wasted no more time, but went about the business in broad daylight. But even at this critical juncture, Lian
gzhong couldn't keep his mouth shut, and told Suqin with great zest how he had been turned away cold by Miss Yu.

  If he had said nothing, nothing would have occurred, but hearing these words, Suqin grew angry, cursing Liangzhong for a miscreant, to be thinking of another woman at a time like that. Liangzhong let her curse, but quickly discovered that she really was angry, and so he made use of his techniques for mollifying woman, his stream of pretty words. He had been born with a great capacity for saying pretty words to women, he had an impressive store of them, and he spoke only a few lines before Suqin was placated.

  As he was talking, Ai'ai rushed in unexpectedly. No one had counted on this abrupt apparition, and Liangzhong and Suqin were both thrown into a panic. With their four bare legs on the edge of the table, their bodies began to tremble involuntarily, and they had no place to hide. Ai'ai blushed, her gaze fixed unswervingly on Suqin.

  "Ai'ai!" Suqin didn't know what she ought to say, she wanted to explain to Ai'ai, but it was not the kind of thing that can be explained away so quickly.

  Ai'ai's eyes were filled with hatred. She looked at Suqin the way a child before the age of reason might look at a scene she should not have seen, completely stunned. The look on her face was very much like that of a mental patient. Liangzhong quickly recovered from the awkwardness, calmly fastened his belt, grimaced contemptuously at Ai'ai and—without making any sign to Suqin—squeezed past Ai'ai and out. But Ai'ai stretched her hands out to hold him back, and hysterically prevented him from leaving, "You beast! You can't go! Explain yourself!"