by Jamie Knight
I’ll go to her and finally let her know how I feel.
Deep inside my dark terrifying heart, there was love, and nothing Jon or the board members at my company anyone else would say would stand in the way of that.
“Sir, whatever you’re thinking, I thoroughly advise against it.”
The infamous drawl emanated behind me, and I had to tip my hat to his stealth technique. Turning, I saw that Jon was plopped on the leather chair by the table, a safe distance away in case I got upset.
He wanted to be nowhere near me, and the feeling was mutual, particularly after that scene not too long ago, where he used a tranquilizer on me to calm my emotions down. It was for the best.
“I don’t care, Jon.”
“Think about it, sir. You are old enough to be her father, and the board still won’t understand…”
So, someone must have clued him in, after all.
“Understand what, Jon?” I fumed.
I edged farther from him, taking long breaths to keep my anger under control.
He calmly looked at me from where he sat, studying me.
“You know how much this girl means to me,” I told him. “Remember how I staved off women for a long time, because I was trying not to be with her, yet found myself not being able to be with anyone? And so what if the board or the community or the world at large hates me for it? Fuck them! I have my own life to live, and I don’t give a rat’s ass about the implications.”
Silence.
It was the unhappy kind.
“Let me tell you how this will go, sir, for I owe your mother that much,” Jon finally said. “You will lose your company to the wolves that have been waiting for such a shit storm to come up. You will lose your house, and your reputation. Your name will become a laughing tock on the wall of shame.”
Well, when he put it that way, it didn’t sound good, but I still didn’t care. All I could manage to care about was Valeria.
“Everything you have been trying to achieve will have been for nothing, and the steps we took to eradicate world hunger will be taken as a joke,” he continued, making it more personal now. “Everything, Master Alex, everything will be ruined. You want to be in love; then good for you. It has never happened before and I cannot be more proud, that maybe there is a chance to have your family legacy flow on from you into another generation, and that is why I encouraged a blossoming relationship in the first place, but think ahead, Sir. Please. Just wait a few years.”
More silence; prolonged now.
“Jon, I have never felt this way before,” I finally responded. “You have been more than a father to me, and I respect your wisdom. But sometimes you can be an ignorant fool, maybe even as ignorant as I am. I cannot even think about trying to start over with someone new, or a string of other someones, like back in my playboy days. She is the only woman for me. Plus, there is no other woman who will love me for who I am. Everyone else apart from you and her take me for an object to fulfill their wishes. And I hate it. You of all people know how hard I tried to become the man I am today, and all I ask is for you to see what I could be with Valeria by my side. It was your fault we started going to church anyway.”
This time there was a chortle.
“Young Alexander, I suppose you are right,” he said. “I made you go to church, hoping you would rekindle your friendship with your old pal James, and thinking you would find some semblance of salvation, but you found it in a way I never hoped you would. You need to know that this kind of union, with such an age gap, is taboo in most cultures, especially here. No one will be happy at all about this, especially the board of directors and the media.”
I walked towards the man and embraced him as a son embraces his father.
“Then we’ll deal with the shit storm together, like we’ve always done. Who knows, you might just turn out to be a grandfather.”
His embrace tightened at the mention of that, and the Foster household was finally at peace with itself. Except it was missing one member: Valeria. And I was about to go rectify that, no matter the personal or business costs.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Valeria
My fingers were shaking. I was on edge the moment Stella confirmed that she would take Alexander the message for me. I had decided to talk to him, to finally get the words I had wanted to for so long off of my chest and to let him know about the baby.
The day passed along slowly, with no rush whatsoever. Stella had left me behind, doing a crossword puzzle, but we both knew it was a front to hide my anxiety. I sucked at crossword puzzles.
I had no idea how Alexander would take it, and I did not even think Stella would manage to get my message to him. After all, everyone knew his house was the most secure in the entire community.
Minutes dragged by endlessly and glancing away as seconds clicked by on the wall clock did not help at all. I had bit my fingernails in anticipation and could not wait for her to get home faster. I needed to know if he would or would not hear me out.
Sunset edged in. I paced around the house from one room to the next, upstairs and downstairs, searching for something to scratch the incessant itch in the middle of my chest that would not go away, despite two showers and a run from room to room.
The tiny ticks called it for me. I looked at the clock. It was sunset and she was not yet back.
Maybe she got lost?
Maybe she did not get it to him and got into trouble with his security?
I could not arrive at one particular answer, and as I settled for another shower, the front porch creaked, and light footsteps led to the door. A jingle of keys and a swing of the door later, I ran towards the freckled beauty of the best friend I had ever had.
“What did he say? Did you find him? Oh, come on, Stella, what happened?”
I could not settle for anything other than a long, full answer – the entire truth – and so I waited for her to take her shoes off and hang her bag on the rack by the shoe closet. She smiled cheekily, leaving me to stew in my curiosity till she was settled.
Thirty minutes in, and she had left the shower and was still drying her hair while I breathed on her neck, begging for answers. She walked downstairs with an air of suspense, and boy, was I in a twist.
“Stella!” I screamed. I needed to know. “What happened?”
She sat me down and took my hands into hers and grinned childishly.
“Yes, he said yes. That’s the long and short of it.”
Goosebumps erupted everywhere. My skin tingled, my body snapped, my tongue dried up, and my pussy moistened. I was in a haze of fire thinking through the answer she had just given me, and after a series of calls and coaxing, I finally looked at Stella and shrieked.
“He fucking said yes!”
Holy fuck, I was not imagining any of it.
He really did say yes!
Then, I was filled with sudden dread.
“Stella, I wanted you to tell me everything you and he talked about, the exact way that it all went down, but now I’m only focused on those three words: ‘he said yes,’ and those three letters, ‘y-e-s.’ I don’t know what to wear or say or do… I’ve thought this through countless times in my head but now since it is real, I don’t know what to do.”
I was panicking and almost hyperventilating, and her friendly hushes and shushes brought me calm, a small bit, but something.
“Valeria, you need to chill, and fucking breathe. I’ll tell you all about what we talked about later. But for now, you need to calm down and make a practical plan. You want this dude to think you have the higher ground on him, right? He still thinks he did you wrong, and since he did, we want him to feel apologetic and confess what really lies in his heart. Did you see the dress I brought you from my friend’s store?”
This is why girls need girlfriends.
“Not yet, but I will look at it soon. Walk me through this, please…” I begged.
I had no idea what to think, and this was the first time I was meeting Alexander on my ter
ms. It was exciting and scary, a combination meant for an adrenaline junkie, not me.
Life comes in spades, girl. Love it or leave it.
I was so glad I hadn’t left it.
“I’m so glad I have you, Stella,” I told her, taking her into my arms for a hug.
“I’ll be there every step of the way, girl, don’t you worry. I got you,” Stella reassured me, as she tightly returned my embrace.
****
Two days later, I was standing in the parking lot of the church after riding up on Stella’s bike. He was waiting for me, standing by his car with his hands clasped before him.
Alexander stared at me with a burning desire. I could tell, for my body was pulled towards him in a manner akin to metal. He was magnetic, and I could not resist. But I had to. I had to stay strong.
Stella had walked me through taking this whole meeting to another level. Alexander had hurt me, and I wanted to know how deep his feelings were for the girl he supposedly loved.
Was it all for the sex?
Was it his ego needing nourishment from a naïve young girl with dreams of grandeur running amok in her head, or did he really want to take this to a different tier and be together with me forever?
Or am I alone in raising this child?
Stella was watching from a safe distance. We chose the location of the church, since we had played from afar with telescopes and had discovered the perfect observatory spots in some abandoned houses a few miles away.
Right then and there, she was watching his every move. Ready to come to my help if things didn’t go as planned or if I acted out of rage. She knew how far my anger would go. Only she knew.
He was too damn fine for this, and I guess he had to make up for lost time.
I dropped my bike, Stella’s bike, and walked towards the old tree in the distance.
I loved that ancient maple tree. It had been there ever since the beginning of my faith and had been the first place I had seen Alexander from. I was only seventeen and he had come in all high and mighty one Sunday, and as soon as I saw him, I fell in love with him.
I did not see his fame or money; I just saw a man I could be with and grow with. His vibe felt compatible to mine, even as soon as we had first met. Without explanation, I could sense the strings of fate tying our destinies together in the oddest of ways. Time had passed, and he was still there.
And here we stood; right under the maple where it had all started. He had followed me and stood a few paces beyond the tree. We were going to talk and finally hash it out.
“Hello, Alexander,” I started.
“Hello, my love,” he replied.
It was as good a place to begin again as any.
Chapter Thirty
Alexander
Before I saw Valeria again for the first time in what felt like forever, it was a cold Friday night, and we had been waiting in the car for an hour. No one was going to show up and the church lot was getting emptier with every minute we waited.
“She’s not going to show, Jon,” I stuttered.
I was a mess, my nerves taking a mind of their own and flipping my insides like jerky. I had no idea why Jon had dressed me up so dapper, and there was a chance no one would come see me; least of all Valeria.
Valeria…
That name just had an effect on me.
I had to smile, remembering our small misadventures. I badly needed to see her, and the wait was getting me uncomfortable. We had decided to take the truck, for it was less conspicuous in the parking lot, and the church building was mostly deserted at this time of evening.
“Patience, sir. She set this up, and she will show up. She wants to talk to you as badly as you want to talk to her. It’s quite poetic, don’t you think? Her choosing the exact place where this whole thing started?”
Jon drawled, a slight laugh vibrating through his mustache.
It is poetic. More like poetic justice.
I was wrought with guilt, thinking over the things I had told her parents in order to end things between us. It was childish of me, and heavily unprecedented. Sure, I had my reasons. I hadn’t wanted her to get in trouble. I knew I was wrong for her – at least logically speaking. But emotionally, I knew we were right together, and that was the feeling that I should have listened to.
The sun dipped lower and so did my expectations. It was finally nighttime, and the mosquitoes buzzed outside the glass windows, fighting with the moths for the streetlamps.
“Ah, sir. I think your lady has arrived — apparently on her steed, too,” Jon chortled.
I squinted to get a better view of what Valeria had come on, and I could only fall short of a gentle sigh. Turning up the street, Valeria rode on a blue bicycle in a black dress, coming towards the church with a squeak in her tires and a yellow flower in her blonde hair.
She pedaled slowly, letting me take her in full view as I got out of the truck.
“Stay inside, Jon, please.”
“As you wish, sir,” he agreed, taking out his beloved Kindle to read another portion of a book while he waited for me, as always.
Shutting the car door let the cold air slap me in the face for all the injustice I had done to the beautiful creature that had rode into my sight. She stopped the bike and placed it on the fading tarmac, straightening her dress.
Simple and elegant, Valeria strode towards the beautiful tree in a shimmering gown with beautiful flats, her features glowing so sweetly I had to sigh in delight.
I followed her, entranced by her curves, wishing to hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was for what I had insinuated. How sorry I am.
I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, how much I needed her in my life, how much my being needed her to survive and that I was dying inside.
We both stopped and were hidden in the cover of the falling leaves. The rustling of the breeze and the leaves as they mated in a harmonious embrace filled the space within and around us as we stared at each other, both thinking of how the next few words would alter the shape of our lives.
“Hello, Alexander.”
“Hello, Valeria.”
For minutes, nothing but silence split the cold night air. One set of eyes looked hard and stared at the other’s eyes, each belonging to two people who felt the thread of emotion bind them in a trance that neither of us could get out of.
She had an expression of exasperation and torment in her eyes, and her body posture suggested a slight curve that I could have sworn wasn’t there before.
Her feet shuffled, slightly rustling the leaves crumpled beneath them. Her calves silently glided over one another; her skin glowing in the old streetlamp’s light above us. It flickered akin to the buzz of a fruit fly, and the church behind us stood defiantly in the wind that gathered a voice to caution of the cold night to come.
Valeria had a change to her, a change that whispered anger in her eyes. I could understand why she had that much compression in her cheeks, how much her hair bounced healthy in the wind, and how her hips warned of danger if I treaded carelessly.
The words could not dare fail me then, for it was my fault. My faults for letting her go through whatever her soul screamed at me. It was my miserable need and yearning for her body and companionship that led us down this horrendous path, one on which uncertainty coupled with trouble at the end of the rabbit hole.
She needs to know.
She clearly had patience, waiting for me to start. I had no intention of failing her, for my mind and body were in turmoil, unsure of the poison or healing song that would pour out of her mouth. My throat was held back by a lump that grew hotter and saltier by the second, and I stuttered.
Keep it together, Alexander. It’s now or never.
“Valeria…” I started, holding onto my own arms for support.
It was cold and windy, and she seemed a tad touched by the gust.
If only Jon could help me. No. This is mine and mind alone to handle. I’m the one who messed it all up, and it’s time to fix it.
“May I come closer to you?”
She was taken aback by my brazen attitude. Shaking her head once, I halted my advances. It hurt when she held up her hand and shook her pretty head the second time. Her voice was well controlled and prepared.
“Alexander, the reason I asked for this meeting was to finally give us a chance to talk. We never had that actually; a time to lay down what we both wanted and still want now. I want to be as clear as I can to kill the mixed messages, and I hope you’ll be okay with that.”
She had taken her time to think this through.
So have I.
“Valeria, I wish you knew how much I have suffered without you,” I broke out, trying to search into her eyes for a semblance of understanding.
All I could see was the pits of the abyss, and a waiting judgment. She looked away, as if upset at my remarks.
Can’t she see how much I’m trying here?
The tension was high, and she stared away, grabbing the ancient thickened tree stem by the trunk and stepping on the crunched-up leaves beneath her. Her dress glimmered in the night, triggering the memory of fireflies in my mind.
She did not want me near to her, yet the burning desire to hold her in my arms burned deeper than an inferno, more intense than a hurricane meeting the depths of an erupted volcano.
“You left me, Alexander,” she whispered.
I tensed.
“You left me in a lie, and went on with your life as if I was nothing.”
“I…”
“Nothing, Alexander. What we had was nothing, right? A meaningless fling that got you to cum inside a virgin hard and slowly satisfy your sick sadist desires, you, you!” she screamed, turning around and facing me.
Her face was wet with the emotions of bitterness and anger, and I could just stare at her face, but not at her eyes.
“You fucking left me to rot. You should have known what my parents would do to me, you bastard! You are a fucking asshole. You think that was manly, huh? Dropping me off at my parents’ house and giving a stupid excuse as that — sleeping on my desk? Really, Alexander? Really?”