At some previous point in my life, I might have been freaked out by that thought, but not now, not with her. She was my past, my present, and my future. I’d never–
“Sir, we’re getting ready to land.”
A polite voice and a hand on my shoulder pulled me out of one of the best dreams I’d had in a long time. Pain shot through my neck as I unfolded myself from the awkward position I’d ended up in, and it helped clear my mind.
I gave the flight attendant a polite, if absent, smile and mentally pulled up my checklist of the things I needed to do. To keep my cover story of being on vacation, I couldn’t move as fast as I usually did. I needed to take the time to settle into my hotel, get a meal. If I started asking questions the moment I stepped off the plane, I might draw unwanted attention that could be dangerous for me and for the missing workers.
By the time we were allowed out of our seats, I was fully awake and ready to get to work, even if that work was to look like I was relaxing. My muscles protested the movement as I stood. Even first class didn’t stop stiff muscles after sleeping in the same position for hours, but stretching in here was an impossibility, even in the luxury section.
I pulled my bag down from the overhead compartment and turned to join the line of people in the aisle, each one shuffling forward every time an inch gave way. I hadn’t gone more than one row when the middle-aged woman in front of me abruptly stopped. I barely missed running into her, but it was impossible not to hear her cursing the cause for the sudden halt.
“If you can’t get your motherfucking bag yourself, at least have the fucking decency to get out of the damn way so the rest of us can get on with our fucking lives.”
The woman’s grating voice practically vibrated around the plane, and I heard murmurs of complaint behind me, though I couldn’t tell if they were toward the woman swearing or the woman in front of her, trying to reach her bag. The tiny brunette was the same one I’d been admiring earlier, and a jolt of desire surprised me as I watched her try to snag the strap of a faded black bag.
The angry woman in front of me moved forward, pushing the smaller woman to the side. I automatically stepped into the gap, steadying the brunette with one hand and reaching for her bag with the other.
“Here,” I said, holding it out.
Then she turned, and I was suddenly seventeen again.
No. Fucking. Way.
Five
Tess
Five blocks. It was only five blocks from my house to his house, but times like this made it feel like more. Like we were separated by a whole world. My family wasn’t poor, exactly, but our lower middle-class life didn’t even come close to the life my best friend lived. The distance seemed even more pronounced now as I staggered down the sidewalk, half-blinded by tears. They weren’t tears of pain, and that made me hate myself even more.
Mom and Brianne had both told me to leave, and I’d obeyed. I knew there was nothing I could have done, not when Darius was pissed like this. The littlest thing could set him off, and tonight it had. I’d dropped a plate, and he’d shot up out of his chair, reaching for me. Mom had gotten between us, and the slap meant for me had almost knocked her down. That’s when they’d told me to leave.
I hadn’t wanted to go, but Mom and Brianne were bigger than me, stronger. I was fifteen but looked younger. I was barely over five feet tall, and no matter how much I ran or lifted weights, I couldn’t bulk up my slender frame.
Brianne was only two years older than me, but she was an athlete. The kind of athlete who could hold her own with the guys at our school and who scared the shit out of girls from other schools.
I flinched reflexively at the mental curse. Mom yelled at us whenever she heard us swear. Brianne never cared, but I hated when I disappointed Mom. The only thing worse than that was disappointing Brianne. She was the reason I wasn’t turning around and running right back home. She’d told me once that if I was there when Darius got pissed, I was a distraction, and that might get her, and Mom hurt.
So I obeyed and left, knowing Brianne would find me when it was safe. I hadn’t needed to tell her where I was going either. She knew. When things got bad, there was only one place I wanted to go, one person I wanted to be with.
I pulled the chain out from under my shirt and slipped it over my head. The key hanging from it opened two doors. The first was the slightly hidden back door in the fence that surrounded the entire Kurth property, and the second was to the small side door that most of the employees used. I’d gotten the key a couple years ago because everyone had gotten tired of having to open the door for me at all hours.
The relief that flooded me the moment I stepped into the kitchen had little to do with the fact that Congressman Kurth’s house was the safest place I could ever be, and it had everything to do with the boy sitting at the counter, eating from a carton of ice cream.
I didn’t need to see it to know it was Caramel Ripple. That was his favorite, and the housekeeper always made sure some was in the freezer. As much as he ate, he should’ve been three hundred pounds, but he wasn’t, partly because of good genes, but also because he played a ton of different sports. Whatever the reason, Clay Kurth, with his unruly dark brown hair and blue-gray eyes was drop-dead gorgeous.
“Tess?” He was out of his chair and in front of me before I realized he was moving. “What’s wrong?”
For a few seconds, I’d actually forgotten why I was there. Then Clay’s hands were brushing at my cheeks, wiping away the tears that lingered there. Despite all the craziness, his touch made me shiver, but with heat, not cold.
“Come with me.”
He put his arm around my shoulders and led me through the kitchen to a little alcove where the family kept their boots and coats. He sat down next to me, his leg pressed against mine, his arm still holding me close. I couldn’t tell if he even realized that he was still embracing me, but I wasn’t going to draw his attention to it. Not when I desperately needed the comfort it provided.
“Now, tell me what happened and whose ass I need to kick.” He brushed back a couple wild curls with his free hand, and his fingertips grazed my skin.
Instead of leaning into his hand the way I wanted to, I shook my head. “There’s nothing you can do. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” he said fiercely, his eyes darkening to a deep, stormy gray. “No one should ever make you cry.”
I managed a wobbly smile. “Thanks.”
“Hey,” he cupped my cheek, “I mean it.”
The air between us suddenly felt thick with potential.
His eyes locked with mine as his thumb traced my lower lip. My brain said this couldn’t be happening, that the boy I’d had a crush on for years was looking at me as if he wanted…me. But I could feel the fire licking across my skin wherever he touched.
The hand not on my cheek rested on my waist now, his fingers moving back and forth in what should have been a soothing manner, but all it did was make me want him more.
In what felt like slow motion, he bent his head, and his mouth finally touched mine. I could taste the salt from my own tears on his lips, but as his tongue teased the seam of my mouth, all thoughts of what had caused those tears vanished. I clutched at his shirt, too needy to be embarrassed by my actions. I’d wanted this for what seemed like forever, and now that it was here, I could barely believe it.
My first kiss was over too soon, but then Clay rested his forehead against mine, his breathing as harsh as my own, and I knew things between us had only begun.
“Clay,” I began.
A sound from the kitchen interrupted us, and it was immediately followed by a familiar voice.
“Tess!”
I started to pull away from Clay, but he caught my hand. I flushed and called out my sister’s name. She appeared a second later, her pale eyes wild as they flicked down to the linked hands resting on my lap.
“We need to go,” she said.
“Brianne, I…” I wasn’t sure what to say. Did I tell her th
at it wasn’t what it looked like? Or that it was none of her business? Did I act like nothing had happened?
“I’m serious, Tess.” Her voice was hard as she stepped forward and grabbed my arm. “Sorry, Clay, but we really need to go.”
Brianne practically dragged me out of the house, ignoring my stammered goodbyes to Clay. My head spun as we stepped out into the cool DC evening. I didn’t understand.
“Bri, what’s going on?”
“Mom called the cops,” Brianne said, not slowing her pace at all.
“But Darius is a cop,” I said. The grim expression on Brianne’s face spoke volumes. “What’s Mom going to do when he gets out?”
“We’re leaving.”
“It’s the middle of the school year. We can’t just up and leave for a week,” I protested. I pulled against Brianne’s grip, but she had me too tight.
“We’re not leaving for a week, Tess. We’re moving somewhere Darius and his goons can’t find us. Ever.”
It took me a few feet before I realized what she meant. “We’re moving?”
“It’s a good idea,” she said without looking at me. “We can have a fresh start.”
A flash of fear went through me. She was serious. She really thought we were leaving our home, our friends.
Clay.
“Where are we going to go?” I asked, trying to make my voice light, as if I didn’t believe her. Because I didn’t. It wasn’t possible.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “Anywhere that gets us away from Darius is better than here.”
I shook my head. “No, we can’t.”
She stopped suddenly, spinning around until we were face to face. “We’re moving. Tonight. You need to get that through your head and start thinking about what you can take, because we’re never coming back.”
I didn’t know what part of what she said finally got through to me, but all the warmth and good feeling from kissing Clay disappeared under a cold rush of reality.
Clay.
“I need to tell Clay,” I said. “I can’t leave without saying goodbye.”
“You’ll have to say it on the phone,” Brianne said, “because we’re not going back there. We don’t have the time.”
As if to prove her point, she turned to move again, tightening her grip on my arm. I pulled, planting my feet to keep her from moving me. “I need to see him.”
Brianne sighed. “Look, I didn’t want to say this before because I thought it was just a crush, but you need to forget Clay. He’s not worth it.”
I glared up at her. “What? He’s your friend too. I thought you’d be happy for us.”
Her eyes slid away from me, and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, two of her tells that she was nervous.
“I don’t want to see you get too invested. Clay and I are friends. With benefits.”
“Bullshit.”
She tightened her grip on my arm, her eyes narrowing. “Grow up, Tess. Clay is a player. He hooks up with a different girl every week. You’re not that kind of girl. You need a relationship before you have sex.” She paused, then added, “Clay doesn’t. I don’t. We didn’t.”
We started walking again, but I barely noticed my feet moving. All I could think about, all I could feel, was my heart breaking.
Shattering, like glass.
Less than five seconds had passed, but in that time, I’d relived one of the worst memories of my life. A memory I tried my hardest to forget. A memory that, for some reason, was standing right in front of me, staring at me as if he, too, had seen a ghost.
At the worst possible time, without warning, Clay Kurth had stepped back into my life.
Six
Tess
“What’s the hold up now?”
A shout from behind Clay broke whatever spell was weaving between us, and I was suddenly aware of the eyes on us. I grabbed my bag and spun around, trying my damnedest to walk fast without breaking into a jog.
It couldn’t be Clay. My mind had to be playing tricks on me. I hadn’t seen him since I was fifteen. He couldn’t possibly be here.
“Tess? Tess!”
Shit.
That voice. It was a little deeper than it’d been the last time I’d heard it, but I’d recognize the way he said my name anywhere. I couldn’t trick myself into thinking I hadn’t heard him. I slowed down and took a deep breath. I could do this. Once I faced him, I could move on and do what I was here to do.
“Tess Gardener, it is you!”
I found myself engulfed in a strong pair of arms. A sharp inhalation filled my lungs with a scent I’d thought I’d never smell again. Cinnamon. Leather. Books.
I was glad my arms were trapped against my body, taking away my need to decide if I should hug him back or not. This wasn’t the sort of greeting I’d ever imagined. Not that I’d imagined much. I hadn’t wanted to think about him, and I’d done my best not to, but the few times my mind had wandered, I’d seen us having a confrontation. Me giving him the cold shoulder. Him acting sufficiently embarrassed.
For a moment, I debated pretending like I didn’t know who he was, but in the end, I decided it wasn’t practical. I didn’t care that it would’ve been cruel. I’d just waited a few seconds too long for it to be believable and I didn’t feel like having the discussion that would’ve followed. I’d put that part of my life behind me, and I’d be damned if I let some freakish chance encounter get me all crazy again.
Besides, I wasn’t fifteen anymore. I’d learned all too well that a pretty face wasn’t worth the heartache.
No matter how well he’d filled out.
“Oh, sorry,” Clay said, releasing me almost as quickly as he’d grabbed me. He took a half step back, so he wasn’t crowding my personal space, but he was still far too close for comfort. “I shouldn’t assume you’re Tess Gardener anymore.”
I gave him a puzzled look. It wasn’t until his gaze dropped to my hand that I realized what he meant. I resisted the urge to tuck my hand in my pocket. I didn’t have anything to hide. A lot of women my age were still single. Okay, not a lot of them were also still virgins, but Clay didn’t need to know that. If anything, he was the last person who should get to know anything about my life at all.
“It’s good seeing you, Clay, but I need to grab a cab before they’re all gone. My hotel’s too far away for me to walk.” I had no idea if that was actually true, but I supposed I could make a case for pretty much anything since I didn’t know much about the city. I’d tried pulling up information on my phone during the flight, but I’d been exhausted by all the last-minute planning and running around, making concentration a real bitch.
“Where are you staying?” He reached out as if to take my bag, then stopped as I glared at him. His smile faltered, and I waited for him to acknowledge the elephant in the room.
Nothing.
I hiked my bag a little higher on my shoulder and wished again that I’d bought the bag with wheels when Mom had suggested it. Oh well. There was no point in getting worked up about something that couldn’t be changed. Yet another thing I’d learned from Clay.
“I’m sure your wife…girlfriend…boyfriend,” I made a dismissive gesture, “wants you to help with their bags, so I’ll just be going now.”
I barely made it three steps before Clay was right there next to me.
“None of the above,” he said, irritatingly cheerful. “It’s just me, so I’m completely free to spend time with an old friend.”
Friend.
All these years later, it shouldn’t have hurt to hear him use that word. We had been friends. Good ones. Why couldn’t I look at the dozen good years we’d spent together rather than that one awful night? I didn’t know why I bothered with the question. I knew the answer already.
That one night, I’d lost both my sister and my best friend. I hadn’t blamed Brianne entirely, but I’d never forgiven her for it either. Her betrayal had been so much worse than Clay’s because she’d known how I’d felt about him.
&n
bsp; “Well, I’m sure you’ve got the sort of connections to stay somewhere more upscale than me.” I tried another tact. “We probably aren’t even going the same direction.”
He shrugged, but I caught the hint of something wounded in the movement. “Believe it or not, I don’t really use my father’s name to get into nice hotels.”
Shit. Now, I felt bad.
No, I reminded myself firmly. After what he’d done, he didn’t deserve my guilt over an offhand comment.
“Where are you going?” A teenager with heavily accented English smiled at me. It wasn’t a nice smile. “My friend here can take you anywhere in the city.”
“We’re here together,” Clay cut me off before I could say anything.
I glared up at him, but he gave me the same hard expression he’d given when I’d tried to convince him I could walk when I’d broken my leg when I was twelve. I’d wanted to impress him and Brianne by playing basketball with them and some other ‘big kids.’ One of those kids had accidentally knocked me over, then fallen on my leg, snapping my tibia. Clay had been furious, both with the kid and with me, and I’d made things worse by trying to tell him I was okay.
Nothing I’d done had worked back then, and I knew it wasn’t going to work now.
“Hotel Santo Tomas,” I said reluctantly.
He grinned, and for a second, I could see the boy in the man standing there, like some strange time vertigo. “Looks like we still think alike. That’s where I’m staying too.”
I wanted to call bullshit, but then I’d look like an idiot when he proved me wrong. If he really was staying at the same place I was, the most likely explanation was that he’d gone through the same list of hotels I had, and it was the first one he’d found that had a room available.
“You are on your honeymoon?” The young man asked as he raised a hand to summon another cab.
Finding Brianne: New Pleasures Book 4 Page 3