“Did you kiss her?” Diego wanted to know.
“No,” Dalton said, and Lucas couldn’t get over how relieved he was.
“You gonna take her out again?”
“Maybe,” Dalton answered, looking down, decidedly not at Lucas.
“You think you could nail her?” Diego looked very eager as he asked the question.
Dalton simply shrugged.
“What about Sam?” Diego asked, and it took Lucas a moment to realize that Diego was talking to him—about Samantha.
“What about her?”
“Have you tapped some of that?”
Lucas gave him a questioning look.
Diego rolled his eyes. “You know. Fooled around with her.”
“Sam?” Lucas almost laughed but through some miracle didn’t. And he knew when he told her about this later, she certainly would. “No.”
“Nothing?” Diego said, incredulity in his voice.
Lucas looked at him, feeling like some animal caught in the headlights of an onrushing car. “We kissed,” he blurted. Which was true. They had. Not ten feet from where he was sitting right now. It wasn’t a lie.
“Cool!” Diego said eagerly, then reached down and started fondling his penis. “Get any boobage?”
Now Lucas really had to fight to keep his expression neutral. Diego was getting hard.
“Boobage?” Lucas asked.
“You get to play with them yet?”
Lucas glanced to his right and…. Oh God, oh God, oh God…! Dalton was touching himself down there too.
He forced himself to look away, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He tried to think of another way to answer Diego without lying. He’d accidentally sort of grabbed one of Sam’s breasts once when he spun around to ask her a question and hadn’t realized she was standing closer to him than he’d thought. He’d been horrified, and she’d thought it hilarious.
But he tried something else instead.
“I feel funny about answering that,” he replied. “I think it would really hurt her feelings if she knew I was talking about her that way. I really like her, Diego.” And that was the truth.
Diego sighed. “What the hell ever. She sure seems to be into you.”
“What about you and Julie,” Dalton asked Diego (thank God!).
“We make out all the time,” Diego said. “And I’ve played with her boobs. God, I love her boobs. She’s rubbed my dick through my jeans.”
“Wow,” Dalton said.
“But she won’t let me take it out! It’s so fucking frustrating. Jorge, my cousin, gets blowjobs all the time. God, I want a blowjob so bad!”
“Me too,” agreed Dalton, then so did Lucas, because it seemed to be what he was supposed to say.
Both Diego and Dalton were totally hard by now. Their erections stood up like pillars, and it was all Lucas could do not to stare. Lucas covered his own hardening penis casually—letting a hand fall in place as if he didn’t even know he was doing it—embarrassed and incredibly excited at the same time.
“Do you jerk off yet, Lucas?”
Lucas froze, stunned at Diego’s question. Did he jerk off? Oh, yes. He’d discovered masturbation about a year before, and it was quite simply brilliant. He almost always pictured Dalton when he did it, although he was never quite sure just what to picture them doing. He would focus on that all-too-short a look he’d gotten of Dalton naked that day in the shower and then pretend that Dalton was encouraging him to masturbate—watching and urging him on.
And now—oh God, now—he had a perfect picture for future nights alone in his bed.
“Let’s see,” Diego said. “Show us what you got, Lucas!”
It was more a command than a request, and Lucas could feel his face blazing with embarrassment.
Diego was openly stroking himself now, and watching the foreskin slide back—you would never know he was circumcised or not when that happened—and then up over the head was fascinating, and Lucas found he couldn’t look away.
He gulped hard and turned to Dalton, who nodded his encouragement. And God, his penis. It was so big. Lucas couldn’t believe it. Dalton was slowly stroking it, and his balls were hanging over the edge of the couch. Lucas’s balls weren’t nearly as big. Neither was his erection. Would they laugh?
Horribly, he felt the sudden urge to cry.
But then Dalton nodded again, and Lucas was stunned to see—yes—hunger in Dalton’s eyes.
So taking his soul in hand, Lucas leaned back and slowly, cautiously, spread his legs.
“That’s it…,” Diego hissed, and Lucas blinked in surprise.
Almost in terror Lucas glanced over at Dalton, and he was smiling, nodding again. “Yeah, Lucas. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”
Really? Really? He had to be at least an inch or more shorter than Diego, two for sure less in length than Dalton, and had not half as much pubic hair. No hair on his legs either, only a wisp under his arms.
And they didn’t think that what he had wasn’t good enough. He was almost dizzy with gratitude.
“You guys too,” he somehow managed. Because God—they were so sexy. Especially Dalton, of course. He wanted to go to his friend right then. Beg him to let him touch him… down there.
Now Diego was explicitly masturbating; it was no longer casual. That is what they all were doing—he watched Dalton again and thought his hero’s erection was just as beautiful as the rest of him—masturbating.
“Do it,” Diego said. “Do it!”
So Lucas did. It was all he could do to keep himself from finishing in seconds. He watched them both, but he was watching Dalton far more. He had dreamed of this—literally. Dalton had been his first wet dream and the star of several since then. His mouth slowly opened, his throat began working, and he didn’t know why.
“Look at him,” Diego hissed. “So fucking hot.” Suddenly Diego was on his feet and, a second later, standing directly in front of Lucas, his erection less than a foot from his face. “Lucas.” He was whispering huskily. “You like it. I know you do. You want to suck it. I can tell. Suck me, Lucas, please!”
Lucas drew back, horrified.
What? Suck it? Diego wanted him to suck his penis?
Diego reached out, put his hand behind Lucas’s neck, and gently at first, and then not so gently, pulled him forward.
Lucas shook his head. Diego’s erection drew closer. No. No!
“No!” he cried and somehow resisted Diego’s strength.
And then Dalton was standing there. His erection was big and hard and God, no! Was he going to do the same thing? Force him to—
“Diego. He said no. Fucking lay off.”
Diego fell back a step. “Damn it, Dalton! Look at him. He wants it. All he needs is a little encouragement. You can see he’s a cocksucker! He’s just afraid ’cause he’s a virgin.”
“He said no,” Dalton reiterated, his voice rumbling.
“He wants it!” Diego practically shouted.
“No!” Lucas was fighting to keep himself from crying now. His erection was almost gone. “I don’t want to!” But then he saw Dalton’s erection and quite suddenly knew that if it had been Dalton who asked, he would have done it.
And maybe liked it.
If he’d ever had any doubt that he was gay, it was gone in that instant.
Dalton gave Diego a little push. “Sit down,” Dalton commanded, and with a loud groan, Diego did what he was told.
Dalton sat down next to Lucas and put his arm around Lucas’s shoulders, sat close enough that their thighs were touching. Dalton’s penis was still hard, but not like before. “Do you want to go home?” his best friend asked. “We can leave right now. You know…. If you want to.”
But feeling Dalton’s thigh against his own, their skin touching, looking down at Dalton’s penis, Lucas knew. As much as Diego had scared him—almost ruined everything—Lucas did not want to go home.
“N-no,” he said. “I want to stay.”
T
hen Dalton laid his cheek against Lucas’s head, and oh, the weight of it and the heat of his leg against Lucas’s. The arm around him. It was all the most exciting moment Lucas had ever experienced. His penis surged back up to its full length. And when Dalton asked him if he was sure, he told him yes, he definitely wanted to stay.
So Dalton pulled his arm from around his shoulder, scooted over, and leaned back in the corner of the couch—looking at him. So Lucas did the same, sat back in the other corner, and when Dalton began to stroke his beautiful penis—cock, Diego called it a cock, and of course he had heard that before—then Lucas did the same.
“Oh fuck,” Diego said. “That’s so fucking hot!”
Lucas didn’t even look, for he’d forgotten Diego was even in the room. He didn’t care. He truly only had eyes for Dalton. He was watching Dalton’s face now, his beautiful face.
Dalton was speeding up, and his breath was catching, and he was grunting, moaning, and Lucas was as well and feeling his orgasm rushing up on him fast. Then before he knew it, Dalton was shouting and it was happening. Great jets of sperm were shooting high into the air, and with a cry, Lucas was ejaculating as well, and it was so exquisite it hurt, as well as nearly made him black out from the unbelievable power of it. It felt like someone was roughly squeezing his testicles, and that hurt, but as his sperm—his cum—launched out of him, he knew only pleasure undreamed of.
Then he thought maybe he did pass out there because he was swimming in a thick warm blackness and slowly became aware that Dalton was shaking him awake.
He was smiling shyly at Lucas and asking him, “Are you okay there, buddy?”
Lucas was. Oh, he was!
He looked around him, and Diego wasn’t there, and he could look back into Dalton’s beautiful eyes and fall in love.
Diego came back into the room carrying towels and handed them out, and they cleaned themselves off—boy, what a mess!—and then Diego said maybe they should get some shut-eye.
So they put on some underwear; Lucas put his shorts on as well for good measure. They pulled the couch apart—it turned out to be a sofa bed—opened it, and Diego said he would take the love seat, which sent Lucas’s heart racing again. He would be sleeping with Dalton!
Diego turned out the lights, and Lucas and Dalton got in the big bed. Lucas wondered if Dalton would cuddle with him.
He didn’t. He kept firmly to his side of the bed.
It wasn’t a comfortable bed.
But both were okay: the uncomfortable bed and Dalton a foot away. It was only a foot after all.
Lucas didn’t care.
Something new had begun, and he couldn’t wait to see what it would be.
3
DALTON’S PARENTS drove them home the next morning, and then Dalton walked him to his door. He had been strangely silent all morning, and Lucas couldn’t help but be worried. He couldn’t even finish the breakfast that Diego’s mother had made them.
Then as they stood on the front stoop, before Lucas could say anything, Dalton said, “I am so sorry, Lucas.”
Lucas saw pure agony on his friend’s face.
“Dalton?”
“I—I don’t know what made me let you go to Diego’s.”
“Let me?” Lucas said. “I wanted to go!”
“But you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. You didn’t know what was going on. What Diego had planned. Fuck. What I was going along with!”
And, God! There were tears in Dalton’s almond-shaped eyes! One rolling down his cheek!
“But you did?” Lucas asked quietly.
“I did.” Dalton’s eyes were glistening. “I set you up.” He shut them. “Oh God, Lucas. I’m so sorry. I want to fucking punch myself! I deserve it. I deserve to have the shit beat out of me!”
Lucas shook his head. Right then all he could think of was how wonderful it had been to sleep the whole night so close to the love of his life—and he knew, just as he had somehow known on the day they both met all those years ago, that Dalton was the love of his life. When he realized Dalton couldn’t see him shaking his head, he reached out and laid a hand on his best friend in the world’s arm.
“Stop,” he said. “You didn’t make me do anything.”
Dalton opened his eyes, and tears flowed down his face. “Lucas…. We never touch each other.” Dalton looked away. “He wasn’t supposed to touch you.”
Lucas blinked. Wait. Dalton sounded angry there at the last. Angry that Diego had touched him?
“And I swear,” Dalton said so loudly that Lucas jumped. “I swear I had no idea he would try and force you to….” He covered his face with his hands and let out a long moan.
It wasn’t the same kind of moan he’d made when he had his orgasm last night.
It was awful.
“He kept asking me about you…. He kept saying you were prettier than any girl at school and kept asking me if you and I had ever… fooled around. And I said no…. But I thought you wanted to.”
Lucas’s stomach leapt. You know.
“So he begged me to ask you to join us.”
Lucas felt his stomach drop. “J-join you?”
Dalton opened his eyes but didn’t meet Lucas’s. “We get together sometimes and… you know… jerk off.”
Pain shot through Lucas’s heart. “L-last night….” Lucas trembled. “Last night wasn’t… the first time you two….” He couldn’t finish saying it. Couldn’t. He didn’t want to hear what Dalton would say.
But he had already said too much.
“No. We’ve done it several times. For a year now. Before the pool party.”
Now it was Lucas who wanted to cry.
“Did….” Don’t ask! But now he had to know. “Do you guys ever… suck each… other’s—”
“No!” Dalton was shaking his head in denial. “Never.”
The relief was immense.
“But you kept telling me you were gay, and I thought you might want….” Dalton looked away, not finishing his sentence.
Then Lucas was speaking before he even knew he was going to.
“I would have for you. I realize now I did want to. But you. I would have done it to you. Not Diego.”
Dalton shook his head. “No. It’s over. I told Diego it was all over. I’m not doing anything else with guys again.”
The relief was replaced with sorrow. No! You can’t take this away!
“My mom was right. We’re just confused. Horny. All those hormones rushing through us. It’s just because we can’t have sex with girls. And that’s good so we’re not getting some girl pregnant.”
A cauldron of emotions and hormones. He remembered the conversation well.
A car horn honked. Dalton’s parents.
“So from now on,” Dalton said, “I’m just going to jerk off alone. It’s better that way.” He turned and stepped off the stoop. “I am so sorry, Lucas.”
“Dalton!” Lucas called after him.
His friend turned around.
“I meant it,” he said quietly. “I would have done it for you. I would have sucked you. I will. I will right now if you want.”
Dalton’s eyes went wide. “No! I’m done. I’m not doing any of that anymore. No guys ever again. I’ll wait until I’m older. Until I’m ready to be with a girl. And I won’t make her do anything. It’ll be when she’s ready.”
“But Dalton. You wouldn’t be making me. I want to.” Lucas knew it more and more and more. It was true. He did want to. He was getting hard again just thinking about it.
Sucking Dalton’s beautiful cock.
“No, Lucas. I can’t. I won’t.” He took another step back. “I love you, Lucas. Just not that way. If you’re gay… then, okay. But I’m not.”
But if that was true, why didn’t he sound like he meant it, Lucas wondered. He didn’t sound like he meant it at all.
Then as Dalton was turning, Lucas stopped him again. “Dalton?”
Dalton looked back.
“If you change your
mind, please don’t do it with Diego.”
Dalton gave a half laugh. “Believe me, I won’t.”
“Or any other guy. Let me be the first. Please.”
“I’m not gay, Lucas.”
“Then just promise me this. If you ever decide that maybe you are… please? Let me be the first?”
Dalton looked at him long and hard, opened his mouth, shut it, looked away, looked back.
“Okay,” he said so quietly Lucas could barely hear him.
“Promise?” Lucas asked.
“I promise.”
The car horn blasted again.
“I have to go,” Dalton said, and with that he was running down Lucas’s driveway.
And Lucas was happy.
It wasn’t what he really wanted. But he’d take it.
The promise of a possibility.
It was enough.
2003
1
DALTON’S SENIOR prom was a week away.
And Lucas wasn’t going with him.
Dalton was taking a girl.
It wasn’t like Lucas didn’t know ahead of time, but it still hurt.
Rebecca. Rebecca D’Angelo.
Aarrgh.
What kind of name was that anyway?
But it wasn’t like Dalton and Rebecca hadn’t been on again, off again since… well, freshman year. And before.
So when the foreign exchange student from the Netherlands, Etienne De Vries—whom everyone called Steve because they couldn’t pronounce his name—came out when he was a junior, Lucas went for him.
Etienne was more than happy to take him. He told Lucas it had taken a lot of guts for him to come out. He’d been afraid, which surprised Lucas because scared was the last thing he would have ever suspected Etienne of being. He was on the football team. He was in the glee club and even the speech club.
“It helps me with both my English and my accent,” Etienne explained.
Etienne was the epitome of brave.
They began dating—movies, going out to eat, walking in the park. Lucas even attended Etienne’s games, though sports had always bored him to tears. Actually knowing someone on the team helped, though.
What was really incredible was how cool most of the kids at school were. Lucas wouldn’t walk down the hall holding Etienne’s hand (and he certainly wouldn’t put his hand in Etienne’s back pocket or let Etienne do the same), but it was nice. It certainly threw Dalton’s theory that letting people know he was gay would mean his high-school life was out the window.
A More Perfect Union Page 26