by S. J. Bishop
I tried to steer the car while Olivia climbed all over me. She lay her head against my shoulder, making me cringe. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Ava’s face. It was a mask of white except for her cheeks, which had gone beet red. I felt like an asshole, but I didn’t know what to do. The last time I’d seen Olivia, we’d had a fight and called it quits. Clearly, Olivia had changed her mind, but had I changed mine?
Hannah sat in the back seat with Ava, talking a mile a minute about her fabulous life. She was completely oblivious to Ava’s discomfort. "And I just got back from Paris last month. Have you ever been there?" Ava shook her head. "Oh you have to go. It’s amazing!"
And then Hannah was off again. Her wedding was going to be written up in People, Entertainment Weekly, andVariety. The magazine reporters would be here any day now. Did Ava want to come to the wedding? She had to come, simply had to! She could still be in it. They could go to town today and get her a dress. It wouldn’t match the other bridesmaid’s dresses of course, but that was okay. She’d ask her to be maid of honor but she’d already asked Olivia.
"Jeez, Hannah, take a breath," I said, trying to laugh. But it sounded forced. "Give Ava a chance to get a word in."
"Oh, I’m sorry!" Hannah exclaimed, her hand flying to her mouth. My sister had always been very dramatic. She was a natural actress.
"It’s okay," Ava smiled. "I’m enjoying listening to you talk. I haven’t seen you since you left for California."
"Oh I know! I heard you had a kid. A little boy."
"Girl," I corrected her automatically and felt Olivia’s eyes fall on me.
"A little girl?" Hannah squealed. "Where is she? What’s her name? Can I meet her?"
I could tell Ava was uncomfortable so I butted in, "Ava’s gotta get to work. I promised I’d drop her back off at home first."
"Oh," Hannah’s face fell.
"Can’t you call in sick?" Hannah pouted.
"No," Ava said. "It’s important I be there."
"Oh? Where do you work?"
Ava hesitated, then mumbled, "Piccadilly’s." I could tell it pained her to admit this. I wanted to jump in and defend her, but I didn’t quite know what to say.
"The restaurant?" Hannah said, scrunching up her face. "Are you the manager?"
"A waitress," Ava said very softly, turning away. Olivia giggled and I fought the urge to tell her to shut it.
"I’ll just drop you two off at Mom and Dad’s and take Ava home, alright? I’ll be back soon."
I pulled into the driveway before the women could object. Olivia glanced at me, then back at Ava. Then she gave a short, cold laugh. For once her vanity was doing me a favor. I knew her well enough to know she’d never imagine that I could forget her in an instant for a woman like Ava. Olivia was all about the outside and I doubted she could understand that there were things more important than looks. And it wasn’t like Ava was lacking in that department either.
The ride back to Ava’s was awkward, to say the least. "Look," I finally said, "I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know Olivia was gonna be with her."
"I thought you two broke up," Ava cried.
"We did! Sort of. I mean—"
"You mean you lied to me!"
"No. We did break up. It’s just that... we break up a lot."
"I get it. It’s fine," she said, jumping out of my car as I pulled up to her building.
"Ava, wait." I got out of the car and followed her to her apartment.
"Carter, just stop, okay? I don’t care. It doesn’t matter anyway. None of it matters." Her eyes were brimming with tears.
"Please Ava, just listen to me."
"No. There’s nothing to listen to. I don’t care about you or Olivia. Just leave me alone."
She stepped inside her apartment and slammed the door in my face before I could respond.
9
Ava
"Where’s Lily?" I asked, moving away from the door after I heard Carter leave. Mom looked at me with a strange expression on her face.
"In bed, taking a nap. Did you see Hannah?"
"Yes." I walked quickly towards Lily’s room, feeling a sudden urge to see the one person who I loved more than anything else in this world.
"How is she?" Mom called after me, but I ignored her.
I peeked into Lily’s room and saw her curled up on her bed. I bent down to kiss her, wiping a stray strand of golden hair from her eyes, and then I froze.
"Mom?" I leaned closer to Lily, shaking her. Lily didn’t move. "Mom! Mom!"
Mom ran into the room and I stared at her wildly. "Lily’s not breathing. She’s not breathing!" Tears choked out of me as I shook her again.
Mom ran to the bed, looking at Lily. I’ll call 911," she said.
I choked back my terror and started giving Lily mouth to mouth. It wasn’t easy to do through the tears but something inside of me kicked in and took over and after a minute Lily’s chest began to rise and fall on its own. She started to cough. I reached out to my mom, fresh tears falling down my face as my mom and Lily began to cry too.
The paramedics arrived ten minutes later and strapped Lily to a stretcher before wheeling her out. She was pale and drawn, but alive. I raced after her and bumped into Myron as I was about to get into the ambulance.
"Myron! What are—"
"I was taking a walk and saw the ambulance. Is everything okay?" Then he saw Lily getting boarded into the back of the vehicle. "Oh no," he said.
I was so overcome with fear and anger that, for once, I was actually glad to see Myron. Instinctively I threw my arms around him, pulling him into a giant hug, clinging to him as my tears fell and fell.
"Miss, are you coming?" one of the paramedics asked.
"Yes. Can he come too?" I asked, feeling all of a sudden like I needed a friend and realizing that Myron was the closest thing I had to one right now.
"Yeah, get in," the paramedic responded. We made it to the hospital in what was probably record time but felt like an eternity. I held Myron’s hand the whole way, grateful that I wasn’t alone or with Carter, that liar, or my judgmental mother.
In the waiting room, Myron sat with me while my mom went to get us all some coffee. She couldn’t hide the look of surprise at discovering that I had a male friend who seemed so intent on staying by my side during this.
I couldn’t stop crying into my hands until finally my body was drained of water. "I thought she was dead," I said to Myron. "I really did."
Myron put a comforting hand on my back, running it up and down my spine. He began massaging my shoulders.
"Myron..." I turned to him, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. But the look in his eyes was so pure, so filled with love and desire that I couldn’t find it in me to tell him to stop. Not now. Instead, before I knew what I was doing I leaned in and kissed him. His lips were warm and wet and filled with longing.
"I’m sorry," I said quickly.
"No!" Myron replied. "Don’t be."
"It’s just that... I feel so alone so much of the time."
"I know exactly what that’s like," he said.
"I... I had a friend who recently came back into town. For a minute or two, I thought he might... that we might... but now I know that can never be."
Myron wrapped his arms tightly around me and inhaled deeply, like he was drinking me in. "You’re talking about Carter Stone, aren’t you?"
I pulled away, looking at him with shock.
"I saw him drop you off," he said. "When I was out taking my walk. You looked upset."
“Oh,” I relaxed. "Yeah, I was." The anger I had felt at Carter resurfaced with his memory. "I never want to see him again."
"Don’t worry," Myron said, "you won’t have to."
10
Carter
Hours had gone by since I dropped Ava off, but I still couldn’t keep my mind off of her smile or the way she’d lain against me during the night. Or the angry words she’d spoken when I’d dropped her off. I knew I deserved them.
I swallowed the last of the champagne—Hannah had insisted I have some—and listened to Olivia and Hannah prattle on together about the wedding. Hannah had tried her dress on at least half a dozen times. Olivia had tried hers on even more. At one point, she’d attempted to get me to sneak away for a quickie, but I had dodged that bullet by telling her I wasn’t feeling well.
My phone rang and I looked down at the number. I didn’t recognize it, but that didn’t mean much. It could have been some girl I’d given my number to one drunken night or maybe a reporter.
I stood up and went into the hallway so as not to disturb Hannah’s dissertation to Olivia on proper wedding etiquette. "Hello?"
"Is this Carter Stone?" a man asked. I didn’t recognize the caller.
"It sure is," I put on my best interview voice.
"Mr. Stone, I’m calling from Dover Medical."
The hospital? That would have been my last guess.
"Mr. Stone, I’m sorry to tell you that a friend of yours, Miss Ava Hart, has had a serious accident. She’s asking for you. I’d come right away if I were you."
"Oh my god! Is she alright?"
"I really can’t say at this time. But it isn’t good."
"I’ll be right there."
I hung up and grabbed my keys without bothering to stop and tell Hannah or Olivia where I was going. I had to get to Ava. I’d call Hannah later and let her know, but the last thing I needed was Olivia tagging along.
I jumped in the car and took off towards Dover Medical, pushing the pedal down the floor. The road curved, so I eased up and started to brake, but nothing happened as my foot hit the pedal. I brought my foot up and pushed it down again, pumping the brakes but feeling no traction whatsoever.
I could feel my heart racing and I started to breathe faster. I tried to control the car as the road curved, but a tree suddenly there was a tree right in front of me. I heard a loud crash as my car hit it head on and then an image of Ava leaning into my shoulder swam before my eyes just as I slipped into a blackened void.
11
Carter
I opened my eyes and searched the space for something recognizable. There was a blurred white ceiling with hard yellow lights shining down on me. The lights merged into one long, bright light with a halo around it. I blinked rapidly and they slowly came into focus.
There was a curtain around the bed, or maybe the lights were playing tricks with my eyes. I blinked again and the curtain disappeared. It felt like I was lying on concrete, and I tried to stretch my arm out, feeling for a sidewalk or driveway. I must have gotten drunk and fallen down outside some bar somewhere. But then my fingers touched something soft and unrecognizable.
"Where am I?" I croaked.
I hadn’t even realized that anyone else around until I heard a shout, "He’s awake!" A flash went off, sending me into a dizzying spin and my eyes tried to adjust once more to the new onslaught of lights coming at me from all directions.
"Dammit!" someone shouted. "I thought I told you to get those reporters out of here!"
"Sorry, Sergeant Wilkins," a voice said. There was the opening and closing of a door and the hum of a million voices in my ears.
"Where am I?"
Sergeant Wilkins stepped forward. "You’re at Dover Medical," he said.
"Now, Sergeant," a new voice said. "I need to check him over before you start questioning him. I told you that already." I could tell the voice belonged to a man who spoke with authority. Probably not a good sign. I blinked hard and finally the faces before me solidified, and I could distinguish two men in the room with me. One wore a policeman’s uniform, the other a doctor’s.
The doctor bent towards me now, shining a light in his eyes. "I’m Doctor Martin. I’m head of surgery here at Dover Medical. Can you tell me your name?" he asked.
"Uh," I had to think a moment. It kind of scared me. This was like no hangover I’d ever had before. "Carter," I finally said. "Carter Stone."
"And what team do you play for, Carter?" the doctor asked.
"The 49ers."
"And are they going to go all the way to the Super Bowl this year?"
I grinned. "You bet we are."
The doctor stepped back. He was an older man, probably in his early sixties, and he smiled warmly at me. "I’m gonna hold you to that," he said. "If the 49ers lose, I’ll take that steel plate back out of your head and keep it for ransom."
Steel plate? Oh my God, was it that serious?
"Sorry, sorry," said the doctor as he saw what must have been a look of terror on my face. "Doctor humor. You’re fine. No steel plate. Just some bumps and bruises."
"What happened? Why am I here?"
"That’s what we’d like to know," Sergeant Wilkins said. Dr. Martin silenced him with a wave of his hand.
"You don’t remember what happened?" Dr. Martin asked.
I scanned the room, reaching back into my mind, trying to come up with the last thing I could remember. My eyes landed on a figure asleep in the corner, Ava. Suddenly it all came back to me. I’d been with Olivia and Hannah when I’d gotten a call. Ava was at the hospital. She was asking for me. I was rushing to get here when... "I crashed."
"Damn right you crashed," Sergeant Martin said. "Almost busted up the oldest tree in Dover Chase."
"It was a suicide," I quipped. "That tree just jumped right out in front of me. It must’ve really wanted to die. I’m sorry it lived to tell the tale." I heard a giggle from the corner and saw Ava’s eyes open. She was still curled on the chair but she was looking at me with concern and a hint of amusement.
"I get it," Sergeant Wilkins said. "Well maybe you won’t think it’s so funny when I tell you that we’re pressing full charges against you. You tested positive for alcohol—"
"Though under the legal limit," Dr. Martin said.
"Still positive though. I’d have thought a guy like you, as big as you are, your tolerance would at least be high enough so that you wouldn’t hit a tree."
"Alright, out," Dr. Martin said, shooing Sergeant Wilkins towards the door.
"Hey, it wasn’t my fault," I remembered the feel of the brake pedal touching the floor and the panic I felt as nothing happened. "My brakes didn’t work."
"Yeah, like I haven’t heard that one before," Sergeant Wilkins said.
"Can’t you check the brakes?" I pleaded. "I’m telling you, they didn’t work right."I couldn’t tell whether the sergeant hated all football players, or just me but decided it didn’t matter. If I couldn’t get the cops to listen to me I was screwed. I had already begun to make a name for myself with the barroom brawl and now this.
Dr. Martin shoved the sergeant back out the door. More flashes went off before the door closed again. Dr. Martin turned back to me and sighed. "You’re going to be alright physically, but this town takes a pretty tough stance on drinking and driving I’m afraid."
"It wasn’t my fault." I sensed the doc knew I was telling the truth.
"I believe you," Ava said, rising and coming to my side. I squeezed her hand, grateful to have her here with me.
"Thanks."
Dr. Martin looked at Ava and back at me. "I’ll be back a little later to check on you," he said. "We need to run a few more tests before I can release you. For now, just try to relax and buzz if you need anything."
Dr. Martin left us alone, and I could hear him in the hallway, bearing the questions of the press that he was desperately trying to push out of the hospital. God, how had they all found out about the accident so quickly?
There were so many reporters outside my room that I could hardly make out what they were saying. One reporter with a loud, booming voice managed to rise above the others. It was the only question I could make out clearly. "Will there be jail time?"
12
Ava
"How long have you been here?" Carter asked. He was still holding my hand. The warmth from it felt good, and even though he was lying in that hospital bed, he looked healthy and strong.
"Oh
, I’ve been here all night." Lily was only two hallways down from Carter’s room. I’d spent the whole night bouncing back and forth between them, not falling asleep until a couple of hours ago, when I’d finally closed my eyes for a moment—thinking to rest them—only to be awoken just moments ago by that policeman yelling at Carter.
I cried so many tears over Lily last night that I didn’t think I had any fresh ones left. Then I heard that Carter was being brought in. The nurses were all talking about it like it was a piece of juicy gossip. Carter had crashed his car while drunk, almost killing himself. No one had any more information than that just yet. It made me frantic. Was he alive or dead? I’d had no idea.
I paced Lily’s room and kept pacing it until my parents had come in. Myron had left some time before, and I’d almost wished that he was here again to comfort me or bring news of how Carter was doing. Then my dad had come in, taken one look at me and insisted I go get some air. So I left Lily in their hands and went to find Carter.
His face was bruised more than when I’d last seen it, but he’d already had several scrapes on his skin from the many fights he’d been in in the last few days. He didn’t look worse off, except that his hand was bandaged and he had tubes poking out of him.
I knew that normally I probably wouldn’t have been allowed in Carter’s room. Given his status as a celebrity, his room was off limits to all but family and a few staff members. However, from all my recent trips to the hospital with Lily, Dr. Martin knew me pretty well. In fact, he was the same doctor who had saved Lily’s life the night she’d been brought in. When I told him that Carter was a close friend, he had arranged for me to come and go from his room as I pleased.
"You’ve been here all night?" Carter asked, touched. "Just for me?"
"Well—"
I turned to look as I heard the door snap open, and Hannah and Olivia burst onto the scene. Carter pulled his hand free from mine and I tried not to wince. Oliva took one look at us and freaked out.