by S. J. Bishop
"Then you haven’t been paying attention," I snapped.
"Why are you and Olivia sleeping in separate rooms?"
"She snores," I replied automatically. That was actually true too. Hannah couldn’t help the giggle that rose up. But she forced it away and her face immediately hardened once more.
"Fine," Hannah said. "If you’re telling the truth, then I suppose I owe you an apology."
I nodded, settling back down.
"But if you’re lying to me," Hannah said. "I’ll find out. And then you’re gonna be in some real trouble. You think someone was trying to kill you before, just you wait." She slammed the door to my room.
25
Ava
The area behind the register at Y-Mart was uncomfortable; the floor was too hard and the lights too bright. The counter enclosed me on all sides like a prison. There was a small wooden bar that ran across the counter, connecting the front to the back; you had to pull it up so that you could push the little swing door open and get out.
Normally, I was a very conscientious employee. A hard worker. But at one in the morning, no one was around to see me lean against the counter and close my eyes. I started to dream of a wedding. Everything was white and beautiful. Lily was there. Her heart was fine.
"Ava," a voice said.
My eyes snapped open. I was staring at Hannah. I blinked, thinking that maybe I was still dreaming, but Hannah didn’t go away. "Oh, hey Hannah," I said, feeling uncomfortable. Though I still loved Hannah, I just didn’t know how to act around her anymore. Hannah was a movie star. I was working night shift at Y-Mart.
Hannah smiled sweetly at me.
"How are you?" I asked. How’s Carter? I heard about the police."
"How did you hear that?" Hannah asked. Her face was almost glowing and I wondered what in the world was going on with my friend.
"The police talked to me at the restaurant. They talked to everybody."
"Oh," she said. "Carter’s fine," she was still smiling. "The one good thing about someone trying to kill you is that the police take what you tell them a little more seriously. They dropped the charges against him from when he hit that tree, so that’s good."
"That is good." As angry as I was at Carter, I didn’t want him to be unjustly punished for something he didn’t do.
"Yeah, except of course his lawyer is still billing him as though they’d had to go to court." She laughed.
I started to fidget, I might not have been in touch with Hannah for the past three years, but I remembered her well enough to sense that she had an agenda. I looked around to see if a customer might come up to check out soon and interrupt us, but there was no one around except for a couple employees stocking shelves and a manager who was probably asleep in his office right now.
"So..." I said, shifting my feet.
"So," Hannah replied, staring at me.
"Er, did you need something?" I finally asked after a minute of awkward silence.
"Yes. Answers."
I stared at Hannah, not understanding.
"Are you having an affair with Carter?" Hannah suddenly asked.
I felt the blood drain from my face.
I tried to regroup. "No, of course not. What are you... why would you even ask me something like that?"
"Because," Hannah said. "Carter’s my brother and you’re my best friend and I’m nosy."
"Well I don’t know what you’re talking about."
"Is that a fact?" Hannah asked, leaning towards me so that our noses were almost touching. This was an old trick Hannah had employed frequently when we were growing up. She thought that if she got close enough to my face, she’d make me so uncomfortable I’d either confess everything or get dizzy and fall down, in which case Hannah would know I was telling the truth. It seemed like a silly thing to do, but strangely, it worked.
"Hannah, I haven’t seen you in three years," I said, stepping back and bumping my butt on the wall behind her register. "You don’t have the right to act like everything between us is just how it used to be."
Hannah’s smile faded. "It’s not my fault," she whispered. "You stopped returning my phone calls. Didn’t answer my emails." She started to tear up and then I could tell she was getting angry.
"I know," I said, avoiding Hannah’s eyes. "I’m sorry." I was too. Hannah had been like a sister. After I’d gotten pregnant, though, I just couldn’t face her.
"Why did you stop talking to me?" Hannah asked. "Was it something I did?"
I moved away from my register then and started stocking bags and receipt tape at all five registers, hoping if I seemed busy Hannah would go away. "No," I told her, "you didn’t do anything. I just... my life changed. I had Lily and I just... everything changed, that’s all."
Hannah brushed away the stray tear that had fallen down her cheeks. "Lily’s three now, right?"
I nodded. I shot a quick glance at Hannah whose mind seemed to be working overtime. I didn’t like the look in her eyes.
"When did you start sleeping with Carter?" Hannah suddenly asked, excitement in her voice.
I realized that my friend was sharper than I’d been giving her credit for. "Never," I blurted quickly. "I’ve never slept with Carter."
Hannah looked at me dubiously. "So everything that Olivia told me—"
"Olivia is a jealous bitch who doesn’t deserve Carter," I snapped before I could stop myself.
Hannah stared at me with disbelief. "I see."
My heart murmured in my chest. I was making this worse. "I mean," I stammered, "Olivia just doesn’t seem like a very good person, that’s all."
"But why would you care so much?" Hannah asked. "Unless you were involved with Carter?"
"I’m not," I pleaded. "I... I have a boyfriend."
Hannah’s eyes narrowed. "Really?"
"Yes. I do."
"What’s his name?"
"Myron," I responded without hesitation. "And he’s wonderful. We work together at Piccadilly’s."
"Fine, then you’ll have a date for my rehearsal dinner."
My face went white. "What are you talking about? I told you, I can’t go."
"Sure you can," Hannah said. "And bring Myron. If he’s as great as you say he is, I’m sure he’d be happy to take you."
"Of course he would, but I’m working. I’m sure I’m working."
"Switch shifts then."
"I can’t."
"Can’t? Or won’t?" Hannah asked, ready to spring on me again if given the chance.
"Fine," I said, scowling. "We’ll go."
"Great," Hannah said smiling. "Oh, and Carter and Olivia will be there too, of course."
I smiled feebly at her before Hannah finally made her departure. What had I just gotten myself into?
26
Carter
The bell rang and a minute later I heard Ava’s voice, followed by the voice of a man. My stomach dipped and I looked down hoping, like an idiot, that I could just avoid Ava all night. Hannah had informed me that Ava would be attending the dinner with her boyfriend, but I had hoped it wasn’t true. The last thing that I’d wanted to do was go to Hannah’s dinner with Olivia still wearing that stupid ring, but the only way she’d agree to go with me was if I allowed her to wear it. I couldn’t risk Ava seeing me without a date, especially if her boyfriend was gonna be there, so I’d agreed.
I caught Olivia shooting daggers at Ava, as soon as they walked in. The caterers were serving champagne, but even that didn’t seem to mellow Olivia out. If anything, she seemed more obsessed with Ava. She walked over to me and began running her hand through my hair and kissing me with a little too much passion for such a family event.
When I broke away I noticed my parents were both blushing. I turned towards Ava, but apparently she wasn’t going to let Olivia outdo her. I watched as she grabbed Myron and pulled him to her. I felt my fist clench as her lips touched his for a moment, but then she pulled away. Her boyfriend grinned adoringly at her and she blushed. I guessed she didn’t h
ave it in her to be as much of an exhibitionist as Olivia.
Hannah caught my eye and flashed a look of both amusement and an expression which screamed,I knew it! I wasn’t going to get anything past her.
Olivia started groping me again, apparently unable to bear the threat of not being the center of attention. And out of the corner of my eye I saw Ava lean into her boyfriend again. This time it didn’t appear as if she was going to let modesty get in the way.
I broke away from Olivia as I heard some of my football buddies begin to chuckle and point. Apparently they liked the show Ava and her boyfriend were putting on.
"Say," I overheard one of the guys say to Ava. "I hear you like to party. Wanna party with us later?"
I noticed Ava’s face turn bright red and looked at the guys with an expression of horror. "Todd!" I exclaimed.
Todd looked at me and raised his shoulders. “What?”
"Oh, she’ll do more than party with you," Olivia snickered, her arms wrapped around me.
"What do you mean?" Todd asked.
"Well there’s only four of you, so I think you each get a turn. Just make sure you use protection, she’s been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean. Started taking her tricycle out pretty early in life too."
Hannah’s fiancé, Erik, laughed so hard vodka came out his nose. Hannah shot him a look. What could she possibly see in that guy?
"Olivia," I snapped, "watch what you say." My head was beginning to ache.
"Why?" Olivia asked innocently. "She got knocked up when she was sixteen."
"I was eighteen," Ava snapped, her eyes filling with tears.
"Oh, my bad," Olivia replied, fluttering her eyelashes. "If that’s what you want to tell everyone, who am I to judge?"
"I guess that means she started out on a Schwinn instead of a tricycle," Erik laughed and the table roared.
"Erik, shut your mouth!" Hannah yelled. Erik looked at her and rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut.
Olivia, however, apparently had no intention of shutting up. I watched frozen as she went in for the kill. "So who’s the father?" she asked Ava. "Or were there too many to choose from?" Her eyes went wide in an expression I recognized. It was as though she had just been stuck with a brilliant idea, but I knew her well enough to know what came next would be calculating. That was how she chose to use her brain power. "I heard you’re strapped for cash." She leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, "Is your kid’s father one of your clients?" She made finger air quotes around "clients" and Ava’s face grew wet as the tears rolled over it.
My heart pounded in my chest. The blood rushed through my veins. I couldn’t believe that Ava’s boyfriend wasn’t saying anything. What kind of boyfriend would let others talk that way about his girl? I hadn’t said anything up until now, figuring I would let him defend Ava. But when he still didn’t say anything after this, I couldn’t help myself.
"Shut the hell up, Olivia!" I finally yelled, standing up. Olivia stared back at me, shocked.
"What’s the matter?" she asked. "Why should you care what I say?"
"Because you’re hurting Ava!"
"But why do you care?"
"Because she’s my friend! Why would you want to hurt someone on purpose anyway? What kind of person are you?"
"I’m your fiancé, that’s who!" she screamed, flashing her ring at me and everyone else in the room. My parents gawked. They hadn’t realized that Olivia was wearing an engagement ring.
"Whatever, Olivia. Like I’d ever marry someone whose sole purpose in life was to hurt others so she could feel better about herself. You’re pathetic." I threw down my napkin—I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding it, ringing it in my hands like I was strangling it. I stormed from the room.
27
Ava
I sat in the passenger seat beside Myron, thinking over the strange evening I’d just experienced. I wanted to follow Carter from the room when he’d stormed off. I had actually started to rise to do so, but then I’d felt a restraining hand on my arm. I’d looked over and seen Myron looking at me with a stern expression. He shook his head, almost imperceptibly, and I’d sat back down.
He’d stared at me with a fixed expression for what felt like an eternity before addressing the table, who was in animated discussion over Carter’s behavior. Olivia was acting as though she were shocked by it all. "Please excuse us," Myron said then. He had risen and pulled out my chair for me.
I assumed that he just didn’t want to lose face in front of everyone, though why he should care about losing it in front of these strangers I couldn’t understand. But he was supposed to be my boyfriend; how would it look if I ran off without him? I decided I could at least let him save face if that’s what he wanted. I would find Carter later.
Now, alone in Myron’s car, I wondered why Myron hadn’t defended me inside. I knew he wasn’t my real boyfriend, but still... I had thought he was at least a friend. Even Hannah had yelled at Erik, something which had taken the sting out of his comment about me.
"That Carter is a real jerk, huh?" Myron said now as we headed down the street.
"What?" I asked, thinking I’d misheard him. How could Myron possibly think that after the way he’d defended me?
"Did you hear how he talked to his girlfriend?" Myron asked. "I feel sorry for her." He laughed as he said it but I caught him shoot a quick look in my direction to gage my reaction.
"Myron, what are you talking about?" I demanded, my temper rising. "Carter was defending me. He was the only one in the room doing it too."
"What’s that supposed to mean?" Myron said, turning to look at me, his car sliding over the yellow line that marked the middle of the road.
"Myron, look out!" I shouted, alarmed. The car slid back over into his lane and stayed there. For now.
"What is the matter with you?" I shouted. "Are you jealous of Carter?"
Myron snorted. "Jealous?" he asked. "Of that oaf? Can he even read? No, Ava, I’m not jealous. But I’m also not delusional."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You like him, don’t you?" Myron said, rounding on me.
"What makes you think that?"
"It’s obvious, that’s all." His face fell a little and I felt bad.
"Myron," I said, trying to come up with the right words. "You know tonight was just pretend, right? I explained that to you. You said you understood."
"I did. I do. I just..." He pulled the car over then and looked at me with, imploring eyes. "Ava, I just..." He closed his eyes and leaned towards me, pressing his lips against mine.
"Myron," I yelled, pushing him away. His face turned red and my heart thumped in my chest. I’d made a huge mistake asking Myron to help me. It wasn’t his fault. It had been selfish of me. I knew how Myron felt about me and had asked him for this favor anyways, just to prove to Hannah that there was nothing going on between Carter and I. And of course, to make Carter jealous.
"Myron," I began again, softer this time. "I’m sorry. I should never have asked you to come with me tonight."
Myron’s face darkened. "I get it," he said. "I’m not good enough for you, am I?"
"Myron, that’s not it. Please... I thought we were friends. Can’t we just stay that way—friends?" I smiled at him, hoping to ease his irritation with me. I had so few friends these days, I couldn’t afford to lose one.
Myron looked at me with black eyes. And I shuddered. He looked like he wanted to kill me. Not just kill, but hurt me. It was the look a deranged serial killer might wear before murdering his next victim. I pushed myself as close as I could to the passenger door, but tried to look nonchalant. This is what Terri had been trying to warn me about and I had been too dumb or desperate to listen to her. My need for a friend had blinded me to this new side of Myron I was getting a look at firsthand.
"Myron..." I said carefully.
"I’d think that you’d be a little more grateful," he said through gritted teeth.
"Grateful?" I asked
.
"Not many men in this town would go out with someone like you, you know. A bastard kid... a woman who has no money and no hope for the future. I’m too good for you, Ava, yet I like you just the same. I’ve never cared about the rumors and innuendos, but now I see it for what it is... the truth. You’re nothing but a tease."
My face tightened. "Screw you, Myron." I tried to open his car door but he put one hand out, preventing me. "Myron, let me out."
"What is it about me you find so repulsive? Is it because I’m not a brute like that jerk Carter? If I was more violent, always fighting with people like he is, would you like me then? Because I assure you Ava, I can be just as violent as Carter given the opportunity."
Myron was gripping my wrist. I took my other hand and pried his fingers off. I didn’t wait to see if I’d get another chance; I jumped from his car and slammed the door behind me.
28
Ava
"Ava! Get back in the car!" Myron’s face was red and pinched with anger.
I stood away from the car, staring at him. I had never seen Myron so angry before. Normally, he was the most mild-mannered person I knew. It was like a switch flipped.
"No!" I shouted back to him.
He let out a scream of frustration and got out of the car, slamming his door so hard the windows rattled, "Ava!" he shouted again.
I backed away from him, my heart beating hard in my chest. My breathing began to increase as panic settled in. I’d never been scared of Myron before, but this wasn’t the same Myron I’d thought I’d known.
"I’m just gonna walk home from here," I told him, taking two quick steps away from him.
"Why?" he demanded. "I’m your date. I should be the one to take you home. You want to go back there, don’t you?"
"Where?" I asked, slowly continuing to creep away from him. I wasn’t sure he was making sense anymore. He was so enraged by my rejection of him, it was clear he was no longer thinking clearly—if indeed he ever had been.