by S. J. Bishop
We stared at each other, panting. "I. Am. Not. Using. Anything." I told him. "You want me to pee in a cup?"
"Would you?" he asked, half sarcastically.
"Fuck you."
I could see his mind spinning. "Jax called me," he finally said. "A friend of yours from out here called him. Jax said she was asking all sorts of questions about drugs in the NFL. Like how much trouble a player could get in if he was caught using steroids."
"A girl?" I asked. "What girl? Who are you talking about?"
Caden shrugged. "Someone who cares a lot about you, I imagine, and doesn't want to see you fuck up your life."
"Her name. Give me her name."
"Why should I?" It was classic Gavin. I was lucky he'd told me as much as he had.
"Was it Raina?" I asked. "Raina Parker?"
Gavin didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. He was great at keeping secrets, but when it came to women, he had the world's shittiest poker face.
"Fucking Raina," I muttered under my breath. I should have known better than to trust her.
35
Raina
"Orange juice?" Mac said, making fun of me as he slid into the booth. He'd wanted to stop at the station before meeting up for dinner. "This is a bar."
"It's a pub, not a bar, and I want orange juice."
The waitress, Maria, jotted down Mac's order for a beer. She had a mass of black curls piled high on her head and was looking at Mac like he was a slice of pie.
"Orange juice isn't as uncommon as you might think," she said, but I saw her wink at Mac. He blushed and looked back at the menu. We both ordered burgers, and I tried to keep my stomach from rumbling like a garbage truck.
Mac and I had been up and down that list. Everyone on it had an alibi for the time their house was broken into. Most of them had alibis for the times the other houses were broken into as well.
"It was worth a shot," Mac said. "It made sense that one of the guys on that list might be our perp."
"Yeah, it made sense, but what good is that unless it pans out?"
He frowned and started twisting his napkin.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
He sighed and reached into his pocket. "The DNA report came back on that earring you found," he said, setting it on the table still in its plastic baggie. "It was on your desk when I stopped at the station."
"And?"
He shook his head. "Nothing."
"Fuck," I let out a sigh I'd been holding and grabbed the earring off the table. I shook it out of the bag and turned it over in my hands. My throat went dry. I stared at the earring, unable to believe how stupid I'd been.
It's just a coincidence. It has to be.
"What?" Mac asked, looking from me to the earring.
"The night I found this, it was dark."
"Yeah, I remember. It was around midnight, maybe later. You were puking your guts out in some bushes."
"Thanks for reminding me."
I held the earring up to the light. "There's a 'P' inscribed on it. I missed it that night. In the darkness. I handed it off to you without ever taking a closer look at it."
"You're saying the 'P' means something to you?" Mac asked, looking closer at the earring now.
"It's just like the one my mom gave my dad before she died."
Mac looked at me skeptically. "It's gotta be a coincidence."
"Maybe," I said, biting my lip. "The thing is, that was the only item that wasn't recovered from that night. Most of the stuff was still in the bag or in Steven Kendricks' car. This wasn't."
"Yeah, but Raina..."
"Remember that letter I got from Kendricks? He said that my mother's killer was still free. What if he was right?"
Mac searched my face. I knew he was trying to come up with a polite way of telling me I'd gone off my rocker. I scooted out of my booth. "You can finish my orange juice," I told him.
"Where are you going?"
"To talk to Steven Kendricks."
An hour later, I was at Baranowski, waiting for my mother's killer to come talk to me. I hadn't seen Steven Kendricks since the trial. I'd testified against him. My stomach churned as I waited, reminding me that I was pregnant and that my mother was not alive to see my child because of this man.
What are you doing here? Are you trying to pull up old demons?
I tapped my foot on the floor as Steven was brought out. He sat across from me. I could touch him if I wanted to. Hurt him. We were in a special room that only cops and lawyers had access to. No windows, just a table and two chairs. Guards stood outside the room, ready for the first sign of trouble.
"I didn't think you'd come," he said.
"I wasn't going to," I told him. His head was almost completely bald. His face had red patches, and his skin looked saggy. When I was younger, I'd thought he looked like a monster. Now, I thought he looked like an aging man.
"What made you change your mind?" I showed him the earring. "May I?" he asked and held out his hand. I hesitated before handing it over.
"Does it look familiar?" I asked.
He studied it a minute before handing it back. "Never seen it before."
I laughed out loud. "It was my father's. My mother gave it to him. It was stolen the night you murdered her."
"That a fact?"
I tried licking my lips, but my tongue was dry.
"When I talked to you, you said my mother's killer was still free."
"That's right."
I didn't know how he could be so calm.
"Was that all bullshit?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Assume I believe you, which I don't, but assume for one second I did. Why tell me now? Why not tell your lawyer fifteen years ago?"
"I did."
My breath caught in my throat. "You did?"
He nodded. "He told me it wouldn't matter anyway. That because of the felony murder rule, I'd still go to prison."
"Yeah, but..."
"He said that telling the jury there was someone else there that night would only make me seem desperate. It would make the jury dislike me. There were no other prints recovered. Nothing else linking this other person to the crime."
"What about money?" I asked.
"What about it?"
"Did you receive any in exchange for keeping silent?"
He squinted at me. "You're not as stupid as you look. I have a daughter. There may be an overseas account out there with her name on it."
I gulped, contemplating just what was happening here.
"So, you're saying it was this other person—your partner—who killed my mother?"
"That's precisely what I'm saying."
I laughed. "So why tell me now, after all these years? Why do you suddenly care?"
He folded his hands on the table. "The daughter I mentioned..." he said softly "...we haven't spoken in years. She sent me a letter a couple weeks ago. Turns out I'm a grandfather." He leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I'd like to see my granddaughter before it's too late."
My hand instinctively went to my stomach, where I caressed the unborn child growing inside me.
"If you cut me a deal, I'll give you their name."
"Give me their name, and I'll see what I can do."
He rose from the table. "Deal first. The name comes after."
I rose with him. "I don't believe you."
"I think maybe you do."
"Based on what?"
"Based on the fact that you're still here."
I held my breath, praying this was all a dream.
"The deal, then the name," he repeated. He rapped on the window for the guard, who opened the door and took him away.
36
Caden
The doorbell rang. I answered it without bothering to check who it was first. Mr. Asshole didn't ring, and the reporters had left my property. They'd decided to go track down the people who'd made those YouTube videos and get their comments since I wasn't giving any. I was just glad they were gone.
Raina was standing t
here with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bag of Chinese takeout in the other. If she hadn't looked so good, I'd have slammed the door in her face.
"What?" I asked, not sure I even wanted to say that much to her. I was pissed.
She frowned.
"Can we have a truce?" she asked. Her lips weren't just pink tonight, they were red. They shined in the evening sun, full and wet and way too sweet for a jerk like me.
"Truce, huh?" She was gonna have to do better than that.
She nodded. "Can I come in?"
She held out the bag of takeout as if it were some sort of toll she was paying. I took it from her with my right hand, and she planted the coffee in my left. For some reason, I didn't stop her when she walked past me. Part of me wanted to, but a whole other part of me was glad she was here.
I closed the door behind her. "I thought you never wanted to see me again. That I was a lowlife scumbag."
"You're not a lowlife," she said.
"Just someone you need to check up on, then?"
A shadow passed over her face. "What are you talking about?"
"Don't give me that. I know all about your little conversation with Jax. Did you think I wouldn’t find out?" I started breathing deeply, trying to alleviate some of my anger. "You told him everything."
Her eyes widened. "I told him nothing. I just asked a few questions. That's all."
"Yeah, questions about drugs in the NFL!" I snapped. "He knows we're together. He's not an idiot. He was gonna figure it out. I already have a microscope over me because of AA; now everyone's gonna think I'm a druggy, too. How could you be so stupid?"
"Me? What about you? Do you know what Jax told me? That using drugs in college wouldn't affect your career now. Not unless you were still using."
My jaw stiffened. "I might not officially get kicked off the team for it, but no one would ever trust me again. Not the coaches. Not the players. Not the fans. My reputation would be completely destroyed. I might as well drive out to the desert and bury my career."
"Is that all you care about? Your reputation?"
Her eyes begged for an answer I was too mad to give. "What do you want, Raina?"
She bit her lip. The t-shirt she wore hugged her tits like it was a second skin. Her jeans were tight. They hugged the rest of her, making me jealous. I wished I could hug every curve of her like that.
She finally spoke, and when she did, it was about what I least expected. "I need to ask you something about... about the night my mother died."
My jaw dropped. I'd thought she was gonna quiz me some more on the drugs of my past. The mention of her mother startled the anger right out of me. It was a touchy subject for us both. More so for her, I imagined. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to Eli about this?"
She shook her head. "Eli went home yesterday. Harper had to get back to work."
"Did Natalie go with them?"
"Yes," she snapped. "Of course she did. Why? What do you care?" Her eyes were fired up, and she was ready for a fight. The effect made her glow like a candle.
"I was just asking."
She backed down, and I set the takeout in the kitchen. One corner of her mouth curved up when she saw the table. "You fixed it," she said. "Clearly, you are not a carpenter."
I smiled back at her. The table had a wad of silver tape wrapped around it three inches thick. "That table leg was stubborn. Duct tape was my only solution."
"So, a nail was out of the question?"
"Sometimes even the toughest nails can't hold things together."
Her smile faltered. "Can we start over?" she asked.
"Over from where?"
Why did she have to keep biting her lip like that? Her shoes weren't the six-inch heels she'd worn over here the first night we'd been together; they were just sneakers. But even those oozed sex appeal as she stood there with her hand on her hip.
"Pick a spot," she finally said.
"If I had to pick, I'd go back to that first night you showed up after my break-in and start from there."
"What would you differently?"
"I wouldn't send you away without telling you the truth."
"Would I be the only one you told?"
"You're the only one that matters."
Her eyes misted over. She put out a shaky hand on the edge of the table. It wobbled a second before settling back down.
"I saw Steven Kendricks today."
My head shot up. "You're kidding." She shook her head. "Why?"
"He said he has new information about the night my mom died."
"What could he possibly have that was new? He's been sitting in jail for fifteen years, not playing detective."
Her eyes were beginning to water. "He says it wasn't him. That he wasn't alone that night."
My brain felt frozen. I willed it to thaw out so I could think. "Not alone? That's bullshit, Raina. You must know that."
She nodded. "Yeah, except that..."
"Except that what?"
"Are you sure it's bullshit? So much happened that night, is it possible we missed a second intruder?"
"No way."
Her eyes were flowing over now. As angry as I still was with her for talking to Jax, I couldn't watch her cry like this without comforting her. I reached for her. She let me take her in my arms and pull her close. Her head nuzzled against my chest as she sobbed. I stroked her hair. It smelled like honeydew.
Eventually, her tears subsided. She pulled away from me slightly. Her arms were still wrapped around my back, but her eyes were staring up at me. "I know things between us haven't exactly been easy..."
"Fuck easy," I said. "Easy is for pussies who don't know a good thing when they've got it. I do."
"Yeah, but—"
"Do you ever stop overanalyzing everything?" I kissed her. Hard. It was the only way I knew to make her shut up. It was also the only way to quench the desire burning deep within me. When she kissed me back, the thirst left, replaced with something much more powerful. Something unexpected. Love.
37
Raina
Every time Caden kissed me, I was surprised. I was surprised even more every time I kissed him back. I'd come here for two purposes: to make up for the way things had ended the last time we'd seen each other and to ask him about my mother. I hadn't meant to jump into bed with him. Not again. I just couldn't seem to control myself whenever he was around.
I wrapped one leg around Caden's backside as he lifted me off the ground and carried me upstairs. His bed was only a few feet away, but it was almost too far. I needed him more than ever. The only place I ever felt safe was wrapped in his arms. It was hard for me to admit that, especially since I was a cop, but it was true.
"Fuck me," I whispered as we tumbled into his bedroom.
"Whatever you say."
Caden groaned, pressing his lips hard against my mouth. I tugged at his hair, biting his lip. That soft, luscious lip that set my panties on fire. He set me on the bed, climbing over me like a cougar about to eat his prey. He lifted my shirt up, exposing my breasts. My nipples were already growing hard. His tongue slipped over first the right, then the left. He licked them with his thick, pink tongue until they were both standing on end. He was playing with me.
Then his head moved lower.
Caden kissed my belly button. I giggled and kicked my feet. Caden smiled, delighted that I was ticklish there, and kissed it again. This time, his kisses brought a deep heat that ran through my core. I spread my legs wide for him, beckoning him to come inside. He slowly undid my pants. The sound of the zipper going down was like music on a dance floor. It turned up the heat between us. My toes curled as my pants came off.
My panties clung to my body, hot and damp. Caden peeled them off and pushed my legs open even further as he buried his face in me. His expert tongue flicked my clitoris, sending a ripple of pleasure up and down my spine. My hips began to move subconsciously, wanting more of him than just his tongue.
"Hold still," he commanded, and I endeavo
red to obey.
Caden kissed my thighs, running his tongue along the inside of my left thigh before winding his way back to my pussy. I was hot as an oven and dying for him to fill me up. He slipped two fingers inside me. I was wet and hot. He was only making me hotter the way he explored my body like a hidden cavern.
"Please," I begged.
I heard his zipper go down, and my body rejoiced. He slipped his fingers back inside me once more, then used my moisture to wet his shaft. He was hard and thick, and I smiled with pleasure, knowing it was me who had made him that way.
"You're gorgeous," he whispered in my ear as his cock pressed against my opening.
"Are you teasing me?" I asked. He was genuinely surprised for a moment.
"No, you're gorgeous." Hearing him say the words again made my body ache for him that much more. It felt like my limbs were being stretched in every direction and the only way to bring them back together was for Caden to fuck me. Hard. Now.
"I meant that jackhammer you have between my legs. Are you gonna use it?"
Caden laughed and pressed the tip of himself lightly into me. My body suddenly felt complete. I could feel the first inch of him sliding slowly up inside me. Then he pulled out again, and I felt lost.
"Ohhh!" I cried out, gripping his ass and trying to push him back in.
"Tell me how much you want me to fuck you," he whispered.
"I need you to fuck me," I cried. My head was hurting. I needed to feel him inside me again before it ripped open.
"Will you do anything I ask?"
"Anything," I said.
"Where are your handcuffs?"
I bit my lip. "In my purse," I breathed.
Caden jumped off the bed and grabbed my purse. He shook out my handcuffs and brought them back to the bed. He grabbed my arm and slipped the cuff over around my right wrist, locking me to his headboard.