He gathered her closer. “I promise not to go near the Travel Lift for another three years.” He kissed the corner of her eye, the bridge of her nose. “Thanks for worrying about me.” His lips touched her ear, her chin.
His mouth was so close she could almost kiss him. Right now, she didn’t care how much pain might come from it later.
She closed the distance between them.
Jake’s lips were placid against hers.
Didn’t he want to kiss her? What were all those little kisses about?
But then his lips caressed hers, gentle, comforting.
She wound her arms around him and pulled him closer, the fear from her dream driving her. I love you. I will always love you. The kiss deepened, and she melted into it.
He tasted faintly of toothpaste and smelled like ocean. Her breath and heart sped, her fingers dug into his T-shirt. She touched skin. Jake moaned and folded his arms around her, pressing her to his chest. Maybe… maybe he loved her, too.
Jake ended the kiss, eased her from him, and stood.
Jake’s rejection doused her euphoria. It was a mercy kiss because she’d had a nightmare. Yesterday flooded back—his infatuation had ended. She’d just made a total fool of herself because she’d woken up in his arms.
Jake slid off her bunk and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He reached for his pillow, one foot braced on the bottom step.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To sleep in the fore cabin.”
Rachel flopped her sweatpants-clad legs over the side of her bunk. “You can’t even stand to sleep in the same room with me now?” She tried to keep the anguish out of her voice, but failed. “Is there something specific I said or did to tick you off yesterday, or is it just me in general you’re over?”
“What are you talking about?” Jake scrubbed his fingers through his hair, leaving it a jumbled mess. “We just had that smoking hot kiss and you think I’m over you?”
She jabbed a finger at his pillow. “You’re leaving. You grumped at me all day yesterday.”
“I was a bear—”
“I’m sorry I don’t want to be your business partner—”
“This isn’t about business. It’s about what you are or aren’t wearing under that hideous New Smyrna Beach High sweatshirt.”
Her mouth dropped open.
Jake held up a hand. “No, don’t tell me, or I won’t sleep tonight either.”
Rachel pulled out the tails of her cami and T-shirt, her whole body flushing. Could Jake want her? Really want her?
Jake rolled his eyes. “Three layers?”
She held up four fingers. The sports bra she’d worn under her basketball jersey in warm weather had stuck around for winter sleepwear.
“Thank God. Last night I laid out the entire advertising campaign for next year and still couldn’t sleep.”
Whoa. Jake was that attracted to her and he didn’t act on it? Bret never showed that kind of respect for her.
He leaned a hand on the bunk on either side of her, and her breath stopped. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk yesterday. You know it’s not your fault, right? We’ll get through this. I’d rather have you right here than anywhere else on the planet.”
Kiss me.
But he hooked an elbow around her neck, pressed his lips against her temple, and left the cabin.
Jake crawled between the clammy sheets of the seldom-used fore cabin bunk and grabbed the blanket he’d folded and stowed at the foot of the mattress this morning. No sex had been a whole lot easier before he’d seen passion pooling in Rachel’s eyes.
She was a church girl, the kind Gramps would have approved. Their kiss at the hurricane hole had unhinged her. He was certain of one thing: he didn’t want to be a source of guilt for her like Bret had been.
Somebody had to slow down their runaway train tonight, and Rachel clearly hadn’t been up to the task. He just hoped she didn’t freak out over this kiss. He shook his head. A guy would have to be crazy not to take the kisses Rachel dished.
Rachel curled up next to the wheel in the cockpit listening to Jake give Leaf the rundown on their cruise. The bunks had been stripped and the laundry bagged, ready to load into the dock cart. Four nights of restless sleep weighed down her eyelids. She held them open, glancing at Leaf on the finger pier, a clear plastic bag of mangoes in his hand.
Jake stood on the other side of the wheel, digging in his pocket for his phone that chirped the T-Mobile ring tone. He peered at the display window and flipped the phone open. “Ned! Hey, bro. Long time, no talk…. Yeah, yeah, I hear you. You could have called me, too, you know.”
Leaf held up the mangoes and motioned toward The Escape, then stepped aboard his boat.
Jake nodded. “Yeah, I was planning on coming home for Christmas, anyway.”
Rachel’s eyes drifted shut. A rest over Christmas sounded great after a week like this one.
“What? No can do. She moved back to Arizona, like, seven months ago….”
Jake was quiet so long she slit her eyes to see if he’d hung up.
He stared at the coaming, the phone still pressed to his hear, his expression bleak. “Okay, okay. Maybe. Don’t get your hopes up.”
Jake flipped his phone shut and rubbed his face in his hands.
His eyes veered to hers and back to the coaming. “I have a favor to ask—a big one.”
Her fingers curled around the cockpit cushion.
“My brother, Ned, wants me to bring a female home for Christmas.” He held out his palms. “Mom’s been in a funk since my wedding was called off. My siblings think she’d cheer up if she saw that I was moving on with my life….”
“Are you—moving on with your life?”
His gaze bore into her. “Yeah, I am.”
She didn’t want to think about what he meant. “So, I’d be human Prozac?”
“Come to Indianapolis with me for a week. Ned thinks seeing me with a girl will give Mom hope that one of us will eventually produce offspring.”
“If Ned’s so concerned about your mother, why doesn’t he produce a girl?”
“He’s too shy to even date. Besides, I want you to come.” Jake grabbed her hands. “Please, Rae.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “I met your family.”
“Yeah, but they don’t live a thousand miles away.”
“You’re always saying how boring New Smyrna Beach is. Indianapolis is an up and coming tourism hot spot.” He lifted his head and wiggled his brows.
“Don’t make me laugh while I’m saying no.” She laughed anyway.
“Please?” His hands still gripped hers, his pleading eyes inches away.
“When?” I’m going to regret this.
“You’ll come?”
For a moment she was back in the kitchen on Thanksgiving, awash in Jake’s gratitude. “Against my better judgment.”
He swung her around in a hug before she knew what was happening. “It won’t be so bad. You’ll like my family. I do.”
Over his shoulder, Leaf shot them a thumbs-up, mango juice dripping from his hand.
Easy for him to say. He hadn’t just agreed to meet the family of a guy whose rebound would eventually fizzle.
Rachel squinted at a woman in a familiar patchwork sweater, who waved her hands at a stocky man as they talked near the gate to the dock. It must be an early arrival for today’s cruise, in a sweater like Mom’s.
The two weeks since she told Jake she’d go home with him for Christmas had fast-forwarded in a blur of work. Jake’s eyes found her a thousand times a day, even when a novice sailor manned the helm. He’d changed their sleeping location to the bunks on either side of the main salon, so he could get some sleep, he said.
His nightly forehead kisses before they crawled into their new bunks hardly satisfied her, but they kept her emotions from erupting. If she didn’t know better, she’d think Jake acted like a man in love. She squashed down the thought. Believing Jake loved her would only exponentiall
y worsen the day he woke up from his infatuation.
The pair stopped midway on the dock. Their conversation escalated but was still too far away for Rachel to pick out words. A straight-haired version of herself pointed toward the boat. The man glanced at the Queen.
Ice water of recognition shot through Rachel’s veins. A hundred yards away, Mama argued with Rachel’s nightmare—the thick-necked man who once drove a black Corvette.
Chapter 23
Jake flipped his phone shut, calculating how much it would cost to make good on the summer crewing job he’d just lobbed to Keenan. If he kept making gut decisions like this, he’d never turn much of a profit.
But he had to smile. Keenan sounded like he’d just made varsity center at the offer. Jake couldn’t make up for the kid’s absent dad, but he’d make a difference. Gramps would be proud.
He glanced at the ship’s clock. Guests would board in twenty minutes.
If Rachel insisted on quitting, he could use Keenan’s crewing as a bargaining chip to get her to stay until school let out. Five extra months to convince her she belonged on the Queen. With him. If Rachel didn’t quit, they still had plenty of work to keep Keenan busy all summer.
His brother’s crazy idea of taking Rachel home for Christmas could turn out to be genius. His family’s brand of dysfunction—keeping a close eye on Mom’s moods—had a plus. He and Ned especially remembered the years she grieved for Dad. If Rachel connected with his family and lost her wariness about him—so much the better.
Rachel clung to the lifeline, staring at her mother in the distance.
Jake exited the companionway. His forehead crinkled. “You look funny. Sick. What’s wrong?”
Jake stepped over the coaming and guided her to the cockpit bench. She melted onto the seat.
“Mom.” She chinned toward the dock. “Oh God, she’s coming this way.”
Mama padded up the finger pier, an enormous shoulder bag thumping against her hip.
Thick Neck barreled toward the parking lot.
Mama shot them a strained smile. “Hey, kids. Got room for one more this week?”
Jake crossed the gangplank and took her tote. “You bet, Mrs. M.”
Rachel’s eyes jumped to Jake’s. They had fully booked the cruise.
His eyes telegraphed, I’ve-got-it-under-control.
“What are you doing here, Mom?”
Mama sighed. “Long story. I’ll tell you later.”
Jake vaulted through the companionway onto the first step. “Follow me, and I’ll show you to your bunk. Sorry we don’t have any staterooms left.”
Rachel watched Jake give away his bunk.
Rachel ran ragged the rest of the day until after dinner, stuffing all her questions back inside. Sunset streaked orange fingers across purple sky by the time she dropped down beside Mama on the transom.
Mama dangled her feet over the stern, staring at the Queen’s wake.
Rachel rubbed her back. “Why are you here?”
Mama startled. “Sorry, honey, I was thinking.”
Jake brought the Queen about and started on a new tack.
Rachel sat beside Mama. “I recognized that guy on the dock. You held hands with him behind the refrigerator door when I was ten.”
“You remembered a man’s face and a two-second touch all these years?”
Rachel stared at her mirror image waiting for an explanation.
Mama sighed. “Skye said his marriages failed because he’s always been in love with me. I had to at least talk to him. But your father told me not to come back if I walked out of the house.”
“Probably because last time you met Skye you didn’t come home for eleven days.”
Mamma’s face drained of color. She stared at her knees. “I should have known that if you remembered the touch, you would have figured out the rest.”
“Are you leaving Dad?” Rachel grabbed her stomach. Over, just like that? Had Thanksgiving been their last holiday as a family? “Are you and Skye….” She couldn’t even get the words out.
“After the huge fight Dad and I had, I couldn’t go home, so I came to the Queen to sort out my thoughts. Even furious with your father, I’m not going anywhere with Skye.” She cupped Rachel’s cheek. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you knew about Skye.”
Rachel’s teeth clenched. She jerked her chin out of her mother’s grasp. She hated the weakness for affairs they shared. Rachel stood, the old pain slicing into her. “I need to get back to work.”
Mama grabbed her fingers. “This has nothing to do with you.”
“Of course, it has to do with me. I love you.” Don’t leave Dad. She turned her palm and gripped Mama’s hand.
“I don’t want to lose you.” Her chest constricted and she knew tears were close behind. She released Mama’s hand and beelined toward the engine room.
The terror of losing Mama had stalked her since Hall’s birth. At least her fear of abandonment had a cause. Maybe Cat was right; she needed therapy.
The engine room door snapped shut behind her, secreting her in the Queen’s dim bowels. Sobs broke loose from her chest. Mama said she wouldn’t run away with Skye. But Rachel knew better. She’d sworn to quit seeing Bret a dozen times, and saw him anyway.
She ached for the comfort she’d found throwing herself into Daddy’s arms to cry as a little girl. But this was something he couldn’t fix. Or could he?
She sucked in a deep breath of grease and fuel-laden air and released it, palming the tears from her face. She pulled her phone from her pocket, checked for cell coverage, and punched in Daddy’s speed dial number.
Rachel finished scrubbing the aft head and stepped into the cabin to strip the bunks.
Mom’s taut voice drifted through the open hatch. “I thought you said if I left on Monday, we were done.”
Rachel recognized the sound of Daddy clearing his throat. So, he’d come down to the boat after all.
“I want to know what you decided,” Daddy said. “Call me a masochist, but at least you owe me that.”
“Obviously, I didn’t go with Skye.”
“Yet.”
“I’ve been with you twenty-six years. Give me credit for not leaving on a whim.”
“Twenty-six years, minus a week and a half fourteen years ago and this week.”
“I didn’t have an affair with him. I had coffee.”
“This time.” Daddy spat the words low and harsh, a tone Rachel had never heard.
“Just because there’s a permanent bond deep down, doesn’t mean I have to feed it. Do you think I wanted this… curse? I’ve prayed God would take it away. I want to love you with my whole heart.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Cindy. Is it even possible after all this time? I can’t live like this anymore.”
Rachel inched up the aft cabin steps straining to hear her father’s soft words. She shouldn’t listen, but she couldn’t help herself.
The gangplank creaked and she pictured Mama crossing to the finger pier where Daddy stood. “I’ve lived without Skye for a quarter of a century. Sometimes he doesn’t cross my mind for months. I don’t like Skye. He’s not half the man you are. I’ve realized this week that God rescued me from a life with him. It’s… you I can’t live without.”
“You were ready to live without me five days ago.”
“I was angry, Stuart. Try to understand. Then, I got on Rachel’s boat to get my head together. And I have. I want you. Forever. I don’t care how many more marriages Skye goes through. There won’t be coffee again.”
Rachel strained to hear something in the silence.
Finally, her father spoke. “I can’t do this.” Sadness, defeat as deep as the ocean, hung in his words.
Rachel sank onto Jake’s old bunk, numb, and stared at the bulkhead as minutes ticked by.
Leaf’s voice floated down to her. “Whoo wee, there’s a commercial against marriage.”
She heard Jake’s footfalls move along the deck toward the aft cabin. “Tho
se are Rachel’s folks. Watch it.”
“I’m just sayin’ maybe they shoulda taken a lesson from me and my old lady and never gotten married. Does wonders for a relationship.”
“You can’t tell me there weren’t times you wished you’d married your… old lady,” Jake said.
What did you call Leaf’s seventy-something partner and mother of his child? Girlfriend? A snicker popped out of Rachel in spite of her mood.
Jake ducked his head through the aft hatch. “You okay?”
“Doing a little better thanks to the comic relief,” Rachel said.
A smile flitted across Jake’s mouth. He lifted a hand to Leaf and swung into the cabin. “I heard the whole thing.”
She’d held back till now, but tears squeezed out of her eyes.
Jake sat on the bunk beside her. His hand covered hers. “I’m sorry.”
She sucked in a shaky breath, damming up the tears. “I’ve had nightmares about losing my mom all my life, for the past decade about her running away with the guy they argued about.”
“Wow. Your family seems so happy. Healthy…. Do you think they’ll pull it back together?”
She shook her head helplessly. “I… I need them to. I called Daddy and told him Mama was with us and when we would dock. What more can I do? It all seems so hopeless.”
Jake nudged her chin up with his knuckles. “You’re a praying girl, right?”
Jake’s touch and words catapulted her from despair and she grinned.
“What?”
“You just helped me believe God will step in.” She leaned over and hugged his neck.
Jake thrust out a hand to catch himself from toppling over. “Gotta love that positive reinforcement.”
Chapter 24
Excitement quivered in Jake’s gut as his fingertips guided Rachel up the concourse toward the Indianapolis International Airport terminal. He didn’t know which he anticipated more, showing Rachel off to his family or his family to Rachel.
He’d never had the balls to bring Gabs home. He still wondered whether they would have accepted each other. Gabs had always been proud of her father’s career as a mechanic even though enough money had been handed down from his grandparents to support two generations, even if they never worked a day in their lives. But Jake’s family could be reverse snobs—thinking blue collar was somehow more noble than being born with money.
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