He swallowed and then said quietly, “Harley, this is my house.”
Her eyes darted around this gorgeous bedroom, and suddenly she felt it was much too intimate for her to be standing in here. She backed away slowly. “How did you get my picture?”
“Ryker.”
“Why do you have my picture in your … bedroom?” she squeaked out.
He gave her a sad smile. “I think I made that pretty obvious on Tuesday.”
Harley stared at him. On Tuesday he’d told her he loved her. How long he’d loved her. Her heart was thumping hard and fast and she couldn’t get enough breath. “You live here all alone?”
“I’m a little old for a roommate.” He smirked, then eyed her with concern. “You okay?”
“Sure, why?”
“You look a little pale.”
She should look like she was passed out from shock. Crew had designed and built this fabulous house, he lived here all alone, and he slept in that gorgeous four-poster bed with her picture on his dresser. She wanted to scream and either jump in his arms or run away into the mountains and hide from him and from her dad’s imminent departure from earth and from all the craziness her life had become since she’d come home.
She backed away again. She needed to run, to England. She needed to escape Wyoming and the pressures she felt to stay here for her family, and especially the undeniable draw to this man who was so great but wasn’t right for her.
Crew walked toward her. “Would you like to see the office now?”
Yes, she wanted to see that office, but she really, truly wanted to run far, far away. Instead, she nodded weakly. “Sure.”
They walked quietly out of the master and through the living and dining room to the front entry. She was seeing this gorgeous house in a whole new light. Every detail, every inch of beauty, the sophistication, style, and yet comfort of it was screaming to her: Crew, Crew, Crew.
When they reached the office, she noticed a few things she’d missed the first time he rushed her by it. A huge leather recliner took up residence near the windows. It would be the perfect spot for reading. There were also several pictures of his family on the desk and bookcase, and one picture of her family when she was barely graduating high school. She looked too skinny and her hair was bouffant. Had she brushed out her curls instead of smoothing them with hair serum? How humiliating.
She pointed at it. “Why do you have that picture? I look like a dork.”
“I think you’re really cute.” He glanced down. “Until Ryker got me the picture of you at graduation, this was all I had.”
Harley turned to the bookcase. Focus on the books. Don’t ask him why he has your pictures, why he loves you. He’d claimed once while angry that he hadn’t been sitting around staring at her picture, but maybe he had. The thought was heavy and exhilarating at the same time.
She breezed over the books and titles. He indeed had everything Stephen R. Covey and Tony Robbins had written, and Dale Carnegie’s books as well. He had a lot of drafting and design books, books on the Savior’s life, and an overabundance of Clancy, Cussler, Baldacci, Ludlum, and Koontz. Then there were the classics: Brontë, Alexandre Dumas, Walter Scott, Mansfield, Stevenson, Pile.
She stopped at the full collection of Jane Austen. “You really do have her books?” She looked at him and knew he’d been studying her this entire time.
“Every single one.”
The sincerity in his eyes was luring her to him. She had to break the connection and focus back on the books. She pulled out a beautiful hardcover edition of The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy. “You know, I’ve never read this,” she murmured.
“Really?” Crew stepped closer to her. “Take it home and read it. It’s great.”
“You liked it?” She glanced up at him. He was close enough she could step in and kiss him, and oh, how she wanted to, but she needed to process everything she’d learned today. Not just that Crew was amazing and successful, but that he seemed to be very much in love with her. Why, oh why did her dreams lay in England instead of right here with him?
“I loved it,” he said. “French Revolution, spies, romance, deception. If you like Jane Austen, you’ll love this.”
“You never even made it through Pride and Prejudice,” she teased.
“Actually …” He licked his lips and focused on the books. “I read most of it.”
Her eyes widened. “Why?”
“Because you recommended it so beautifully.”
“You listen to my recommendations?”
His eyes were serious and alluring. “Definitely.”
It was time to go, or she was definitely going to throw herself into his arms. She was sweaty from her run, emotional with the worry over her dad and family, much too taken with Crew, and she was leaving in two months for England.
Clutching the book in her hand, she turned toward the front door. “Thank you. I’ll bring this back.” She couldn’t allow herself to look at him as she hurried away.
Crew strode to her side as she swung the door open. He caught the door with his hand. “Do you want to stay for breakfast?”
Harley shook her head quickly. “I need to go. My dad might be awake.”
“I understand. Thanks for coming by.”
Harley let herself look at him then. He looked so handsome and so vulnerable. “Thank you for the tour. The house is perfect.”
He did smile then. “I’m glad you like it.”
She blushed as she remembered she’d told him it was her dream house, but that was before she realized it was his. Oh, that was awkward. She held the book up. “And thanks for the book.”
“You can borrow from my library anytime.”
Harley nodded and spun away, running up his driveway with the book clutched in her hand. How she wished that library was hers and she could sit in that chair and just savor the experience of devouring book after book, knowing Crew was close by. Maybe they’d read while they sat side by side, or she could sit on his lap. Hmm. These fantasies were getting delicious.
She shook her head. That house and that library and that man did not belong to her. No matter how much she was drawn to their owner, they would never belong to her.
Chapter Thirteen
The next few days passed slowly and miserably. Harley’s only escape from trying to comfort her mom and watch her dad wither away was The Scarlet Pimpernel. Crew was right, it was fabulous. She wanted to read everything the Baroness Orczy wrote.
She got a few texts from James but ignored them. She was done with him. There were obviously much more impressive Englishmen that were better suited to her.
Her good friend Sierra called, and they cried together as she told Sierra about her dad and Sierra told her that her boss, Parker, had never had any intention of proposing and she’d acted the fool. It did sound like her former boyfriend, Dalton, was a great guy, and Harley encouraged Sierra to give him a chance, even if he didn’t meet her Jane Austen Pact requirements. She thought of Crew and realized she was a hypocrite, but that didn’t have much to do with the Jane Austen Pact anymore. Crew’s roots were here and hers were going to be nourished in England soon.
Thursday afternoon, she and her mom were sitting by her dad’s bedside. Her mom was typing away on her laptop and Harley was reading.
“Darlin’?” a scratchy voice whispered.
Her mom cried out and they both hurried to her dad’s side. Her mom wrapped her hand around her dad’s. “Love?”
“Love you,” he whispered. “I love you so much, darlin’.”
“I love you,” her mom got out between sobs.
“Stay happy … for me.”
Her mom cried even harder. “How can I be happy without you?”
“Stay happy,” he repeated.
Harley wrapped her arm around her mom. She didn’t know that any of them could stay happy without her daddy around.
Her daddy’s eyes focused on her. “Keep them happy … Sadie, Ryker, Crew. Most of all, you be h
appy … wherever you end up.”
She put her hand on his arm and nodded. “I’ll try, Daddy. I’ll try.” How could she keep everyone happy, including herself?
He gave her a soft smile. “Love you.”
“I love you,” she got out, crying almost as hard as her mom.
Her dad closed his eyes and his breathing became slower and slower until his chest stopped moving at all. Harley knew. He was gone. She wanted to pound on his chest and make him breathe again, bring him back to all of them, but there was a surreal sense of peace in the room. Angels seemed to surround her and hug her as she hugged her mom.
Her mom’s tears quieted and she finally looked up at Harley. “Do you feel it?”
“Yes, Mama, I do.”
Her mom turned into her embrace and they held each other and cried. Then her mom bent down and kissed her dad. “I love you so much,” she whispered to him over and over again.
Harley knew she’d never been through something as horrible and yet awe-inspiring. Her daddy had left this world and she hated that, but she couldn’t deny the peace of his leaving. He’d be happy on the other side just like he’d always told them he would, and he expected them to be happy here.
Crew watched Harley closely at the funeral. Tears streamed freely down her beautiful face, but she was radiant. She was right there for her mom and Ryker. They all looked close to collapse, but at the same time filled with this peace that eluded Crew completely. He’d heard how unreal the feeling was in the room when Clint had passed. Maybe if he’d been there he’d have the closure and peace he needed. Then again, Ryker hadn’t been there either, and he seemed to be filled with that same peace.
Crew wanted to talk to Harley alone. She’d promised her dad she’d keep everybody happy. Did that mean she’d stay home? Did that mean he had a chance to win her heart and keep her close and be the man to keep her happy?
It was awful timing on his part to even think about wanting to propose to her when she’d just lost her daddy, but she had to know how much they all needed her here. He knew England was her dream, but surely she wouldn’t leave them all now. It was a fragile hope, but he clung to it as he prayed for peace and prayed for Clint’s family, most of all for Harley.
Chapter Fourteen
The next four weeks slid by in a haze. Harley alternated between despair, peace, sorrow, happy memories, anger, joy, and listlessness, and then she’d go through all the emotions again. Her mom was the toughest woman she knew. There had never been any doubt how much her parents loved each other, to the point of embarrassing her and Ryker as teenagers, but that love seemed to be holding her mom up now. That, and the angels she was sure her dad was sending their way. Maybe he was even one of them. So many times in their home there was such peace and this surreal happy feeling, despite their loss, that Harley knew it could only be attributed to help and comfort from the other side.
She felt like a jerk, but she studiously avoided Crew. When he looked at her, it was with tenderness and understanding that made her want to ditch her future plans and declare her love for him. Her dad had asked her to keep everybody happy, and she had no idea what that meant for her future. Should she go to England or give up on that dream? Yet her dad wanted her to be happy too. Her mind was a mass of confusion.
Her mom was baking apple pies when she walked into the kitchen late Saturday morning, a month after her dad had passed. In a few weeks she was supposed to move to England. Could she really do it? Leave her mom and Ryker so soon after losing her dad? Leave Crew?
Harley gave her a brief squeeze. “Smells good. It’s so awesome that you’ve rocked the cookbook world.” She was super proud of her mom. It was interesting as she grew older how she could step back and see her parents better, not just as someone to take care of her and love, but as individuals who had their own hopes and dreams, good and bad days. Now her dad’s dreams were over. Peace washed over her and she knew her dad was happy and still progressing somewhere she couldn’t see or imagine right now.
“Thanks, love.” Her mom leaned into her hug, but her hands were too messy to return it. “Trying out some new recipes with the Jonagold apples. I love apples, but we’ve got way too many this year.” She laughed.
“You seem really happy.”
Her mom gave her a tremulous smile. “I miss him.” She sniffed before continuing, “But I’m so glad I have you, Ryker, and Crew, and of course all our friends and neighbors.”
Harley’s heart lurched on Crew’s name. “Mom … what are your thoughts about me going to England?”
Her mom stopped mixing up the cinnamon, butter, and brown sugar mixture, rinsed her hands under the faucet, then wiped them on a cloth. “Sit down, love.”
Harley pulled in a breath. This was going to be serious. She moved to the dining table and pulled out a chair for her mom, then sat in one herself.
Her mom took her hands in both of hers. “Are you having second thoughts?”
Harley shrugged. “Only about leaving you. I want to go, Mom. It’s been my dream forever.”
Her mom nodded. “So what’s the worry?”
“How do I leave you and Ryker?”
Her mom smiled. “Honey, it’s only nine months. I’m so excited to come visit you, and you can come home for Christmas and spring break. We’ll make it through.”
“But what if all my dreams come true and I find my Mr. Darcy and live there?” She didn’t have the heart to remind her mom that she planned on staying and working there, regardless of if she met someone.
The smile slid off her mom’s face. She studied Harley for a few seconds, then said, “Are you trying to tell me that I’m an idiot with no motherly intuition?”
“Mom?” Harley reared back, confused. “I would never call you an idiot.”
“Yes, you just did. Of course you’re coming back. You love Crew.” Her mom stood and went back to her apples, humming softly.
Harley sat there, stunned. After a few moments she picked up the tune her mom was humming, “Do I Love You Because You’re Wonderful?” She sighed. Her mom had just given her blessing to go to England, but she still didn’t understand Harley’s dreams and that she had no plans of coming back to stay or marry Crew.
Later that evening Harley slipped out of the house and went on a long walk. It was getting close to dark when she passed by Crew’s house. Several lights were on and the house beaconed to her like heaven itself. She’d long since finished Scarlet Pimpernel and wanted to go exchange it for a different book, but she couldn’t bring herself to be alone with Crew. He’d been so great through everything with her dad and Harley didn’t feel like she’d treated him very well, ignoring him the way she had. But it was the only way to protect her heart and get on with her dreams.
She turned and slowly walked along the asphalt driveway, stopping next to the wraparound porch. Warm light shone from her dream home, but she couldn’t see any movement inside. Maybe he wasn’t even home. As she stood there, she asked herself the question she’d been ignoring. What if Crew her dream man?
She shook her head and backed up a step. No. And she couldn’t give in to her desire to be with him. It wasn’t fair for her to spend time with Crew and make it even harder on both of them when she left. She forced herself to pivot and walk away, only looking back once at those inviting windows. The walk home passed slowly, as a piece of her seemed to be back at Crew’s porch, knocking on the door and waiting to see his handsome face.
She arrived back home as darkness descended over the valley. The lights in her own house looked welcoming and happy. She only had a little longer at home, and she wanted to enjoy it, even with the sadness of her dad’s loss lingering over them.
A car pulled into the driveway and she whirled in surprise. A red Mercedes slithered to a stop right in front of her. Harley backed up a few steps.
James climbed out of the car, grinning at her. “I found you.”
“James?” What was he doing here?
“I googled your last name and you
r little town and I was able to drive right to you.”
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“You haven’t returned my texts or calls.” He walked steadily closer to her.
“My dad died.” She hated using that as an excuse, but she didn’t need or want James around and she’d use the strongest excuse she had right now.
“Oh.” He looked abashed for a second; then he moved closer again. “I’d like to be here for you, Harley.”
“I don’t even know you.” She backed up until her heels hit the bottom of the porch steps.
He kept coming, and the look in his eyes scared her. The smell of alcohol on his breath scared her even more. “I’d like to get to know you really well, beautiful lady.”
She straightened. “And I’d like for you to leave and not come back.”
His eyebrows jumped. “What kind of talk is that? I’ve taken you on two expensive dinners and never gotten off with you. You owe me.”
“Excuse me?” Ice seemed to rub along her neck. “I don’t owe you anything. You invited me out and I went, though I’m now regretting it.” What a putz. If he tried anything, she was kneeing him and then screaming for Ryker. He’d be out doing chores somewhere right now.
James glowered down at her. “You’re going to regret a lot more than that.” He wrapped his hands around her upper arms and dragged her close.
Harley screamed, “Ryker!” and brought her knee up quick, but he dodged and her knee only brushed his thigh.
James yanked her toward his car and she struggled to free herself, calling out desperately to Ryker. Her heart raced and her stomach churned with terror. She could not let him get her in that car. Harley hit at his hands and tried to yank free, but he was too strong. Where was Ryker? What would James do to her if he got her in his car and took her away from everyone she loved?
James’s grip on her slackened and he yelled, “Hey!”
Harley yanked herself free and dodged away from him just as he was thrown bodily into his Mercedes. He hit it with a sickening crunch and went down on one knee, cursing.
Seeking Mr. Debonair (The Jane Austen Pact) Page 11