by Zoe Chant
Ryan winced. "Bethany used to hate my cooking, actually. I hope you won't be disappointed."
"I really doubt that," Isabella said.
He couldn't help a nervous look at her face when he set the serving dishes down on the table between them. Isabella had her eyes half closed, inhaling the steam rising from the food with obvious pleasure. The roast had come out perfectly, the meat tender and juicy on the inside. Isabella watched avidly as he cut it into thin slices.
"That looks fantastic. God, I'm starving."
He piled up the three big slices on her plate, and added several of the tiny, crispy potatoes he'd roasted in their skin and rubbed with oil and rosemary.
She tucked into the food with a moan of pleasure. "God, this is amazing," she said. "Your ex really didn't like your cooking?"
"She had complicated tastes," Ryan said. That was putting it mildly. Bethany had been born and raised a high-society girl. This kind of basic, meat and potatoes meal wouldn't have gotten anything but a moue of distaste from her. Her idea of a proper dinner had been something like three poached oysters on a bed of arugula, followed by some showy, miniscule dessert, like a single scoop of pine foam and spruce ice cream.
Ryan, who'd always had a bear's healthy appetite, had spent a lot of time sneaking into the kitchen for midnight raids on the fridge back when she'd lived with him. She'd used to laugh and call him greedy when she caught him at it. It had seemed worth it at the time, back when he'd still believed she was the kind-hearted woman he'd fallen in love with.
"Were you together for long?" Isabella asked. "I remember reading about the engagement, but I haven't kept up with the news for a while."
"No. We were going to elope."
"Oh, I've always wanted to elope!" Isabella said. Ryan looked up, surprised. She was the first woman he'd ever met who'd agreed with him on this.
"I mean, I get the appeal of the big princess wedding," Isabella said quickly. "But it's just not for me… all that money spent on a single big party! I've always wanted to get married in one of those little all-night wedding chapels in Vegas. You know—just me, the man I love, the stars above us… And then maybe we could drive out to see the sunrise over the Grand Canyon." She laughed a little, blushing. "I'm sorry. It's a silly idea, I know."
"I think it sounds wonderful," Ryan said honestly. It sounded great to him—no pomp and circumstance, just two people who loved each other committing to spend the rest of their lives together. "I never really wanted a big wedding myself. You know a formal wedding takes almost a full year to plan? I always figured, who'd want to wait that long, once you've found the one?"
"Yes, exactly!" Isabella said. They smiled at each other.
"And your fiancé thought the same thing?" Isabella asked.
Ryan winced. "I thought so at the time," he said. How stupid he'd been back then. "Turned out I didn't know her as well as I thought I did."
"I'm sorry. I know what that's like," Isabella said. A shadow passed over her face, and her beautiful blue eyes darkened.
Ryan's bear rumbled unhappily. If he ever got his paws on the man who'd made her look like that…
"I'm sorry, I don't even know how we got on this topic. I promise I'm not usually such a downer," Isabella said. "And in the middle of such a good meal, too. Pass me the potatoes again?"
Ryan laughed. "No, it's fine."
He hadn't been able to be honest with anyone like this in such a long time. He'd forgotten how good it felt.
Finally Isabella leaned back in her chair with a sigh. "That was amazing. I just ate way too much, and I don't even feel bad about it."
"I'm glad," Ryan said. Outside, the storm was letting up. He should probably offer to drive her home now. But he didn't want her to leave. He cast about for something that might tempt her into spending a little more time.
"Would you like to see the rest of the house?" he asked.
"Oh, I'd love to," Isabella said. She sounded surprised. But of course Ryan had a reputation as a recluse around town. After what had happened with Bethany, he hadn't felt like surrounding himself with people. Isabella was the first person he'd met in a long time who made him want to try reaching out again.
"You probably shouldn't put too much weight on that ankle yet. Hang on, I think I've still got some crutches around here somewhere. I twisted my knee pretty badly last Christmas—that winter was terrible, wasn't it? I thought the ice was never going to thaw," Ryan said.
They had to adjust the crutches down from their biggest to their smallest setting, but after that, Isabella got around well enough with their help. And yet, watching her struggle her way up the stairs, Ryan had to fight the impulse to sweep her up in his arms and carry her.
We could help! his bear insisted.
Not yet, Ryan told himself. You'll freak her out.
Isabella looked around the big rooms with wide-eyed interest. "It's so cozy in here," she said.
Ryan smiled. "Yes, that was always important to me. This is my home, not some kind of mausoleum."
When he'd bought the mansion, it'd been cold and intimidating, filled with marble and stone. All the furniture had been fragile, expensive antiques. You hadn't even been able to sit down without worrying about breaking something irreplaceable. But Ryan had done his best to turn his home into a warm, comfortable den, adding beautiful soft carpets and sturdy, overstuffed furniture that invited you to sit down and get comfortable.
"What's behind that door?" Isabella asked, nodding towards the backdoor to the garden, locked and secured with a heavy metal bar.
Ryan winced internally. That part of the garden was his bear's territory. It was surrounded by a tall wall that concealed his bear's den. The heavy rain would probably have obscured most of the paw prints he'd left in the soft earth, but he didn't want to risk it. If only he could be sure she wouldn't run screaming if she discovered his secret…
"Oh, that's just the back garden. Let's skip that, nothing there but weeds," he said regretfully.
He took her to his library next, which was an effective distraction. She tilted her head back, admiring the vaulted ceiling and the walls full of books.
"This place is amazing. I've always wanted to have enough space for a little library at home," Isabella said.
"I don't have as much time to read as I used to. The company keeps me pretty busy. But I do love books," Ryan said, trailing his fingers affectionately over the spines of the closest row of books. "Feel free to borrow anything in here you like, any time."
At least that might give her a reason to return to him some time…
Isabella seemed to be getting tired, bracing herself more heavily on the crutches whenever they stopped to take a break. Time to end the tour.
"How do you feel about dessert?" Ryan asked. He gave her a grin. "I still have half of a delicious honey cake a very nice young lady brought by earlier this morning."
He'd been surprised and pleased to find the cake and her note in the box with his honey this morning, and then had barely been able to stop himself from eating the whole thing after he got the first taste of how good it was. His bear had always had a sweet tooth, especially when it came to honey. There was enough left for two generous helpings, though.
Isabella hesitated, watching him plate a big slice. "I probably shouldn't," she said. "I've already eaten so much today, and I can't really afford it…"
She looked down her own body with a frown, as if there was anything wrong with the lovely feminine curves of her stomach and thighs. Ryan wondered angrily how many times people had given her grief for eating dessert, just because she was a little heavier than the average woman. She looked anxious, ashamed. His bear wanted to rip apart anyone who'd ever made her feel bad.
"Of course you should if you want to," Ryan said. "After the day you've had, not only do you deserve cake, you deserve whipped cream on top."
Isabella gave a startled laugh as she watched him take down the mixing bowl from a cupboard and pour cream inside.
&nbs
p; "Are you seriously going to make whipped cream? Come on, you have no idea how much butter and honey I've already put into that cake," she said. But she was laughing, and her tense shoulders had relaxed.
They took their plates to the living room and sprawled out on the big fluffy rug in front of the fire. Ryan forked a big helping of cake and cream into his mouth.
"Mmm, this is amazing. Maybe I'll demand that all my honey deliveries come with cake from now on," he said, giving her a wink.
"What do you do with all that honey, anyway?" Isabella asked. "Look at you, there's not an ounce of fat on you. No way are you eating that much honey all by yourself."
"Oh, well. I cook a lot… it gets used up somehow," Ryan said, wincing. The honest answer, of course, would've been "My bear has a sweet tooth, and a thousand pound grizzly bear can put away a lot of honey." He desperately wished he could be honest with her. Too soon, he told himself.
Isabella, who'd taken the smaller piece of cake, finished before him. "Mmm, that was good," she said. "You were right, this was a great idea."
"Here, we'll split the last piece," Ryan said, cutting it in half with his fork. He dipped the piece of cake into the last of the cream and held it out to her.
He'd expected Isabella to take the fork from his hand, but instead she leaned forward and closed her soft plump lips around the fork while he held it. Ryan's breath caught at the intimacy of the moment. Thank God he was already lying on his stomach. His cock was pulsing in time with his heart, straining against the zipper on his pants.
There was a small drop of cream on the corner of Isabella's mouth. "You've got a little –" Ryan started. He reached out, drawn as if in a trance, to carefully swipe the little drop of white away with his thumb.
Isabella's gaze caught his, and the heat in her brilliant blue eyes ignited a fire inside him. Slowly, still holding his eyes, Isabella turned her head, caught the tip of his thumb with her mouth, and sucked off the drop of cream.
An entirely involuntary groan escaped Ryan's lips.
I shouldn't, he thought. But he couldn't have stopped himself even if he'd wanted to.
He bent down to kiss her. Isabella tilted her head up to meet him. She still tasted like cream and honey. Her soft breasts pressed against his chest as he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. He stroked his hand through her hair, golden locks sliding like silk through his fingers.
Isabella ran her hands over his shoulders. His skin had been untouched for so long, it felt as if he was coming to life underneath her hands, as if every cell was waking up to breathe for the first time in far too many years. When she ran her thumb down the naked skin of his neck, it left a trail of fire in its wake.
Ryan groaned. His cock was throbbing, but he didn't want to hurry this. It was far too good to let it end.
***
Isabella could hardly believe this was happening. Making out with Ryan in front of the roaring fireplace, getting to touch his gorgeous body as much as she wanted, having him touch her in turn—the entire experience felt almost like a dream. Except she'd never had a dream as hot as this in her entire life.
Ryan flicked open the buttons on her shirt, one after the other, pushing the fabric aside and kissing his way down the skin he’d revealed. Isabella shivered. He was so gentle with her. As if she were something precious and fragile. She’d never felt so cherished, so well taken care of. Her body had never responded so intensely to anyone’s touch. She felt like she was burning up inside, as if every inch of her skin hungered for the touch of his mouth.
Finally he had the shirt unbuttoned all the way. He helped her shrug out of it and then gently laid her back down on the rug, looking her up and down, his eyes dark and hot.
"You're beautiful,” he said, his voice a low growl.
He ran his hand up her leg and brushed his thumb along the seam of her panties, a slow, teasing touch. Isabella felt a rush of wetness between her thighs.
She moaned when Ryan started kissing her, her breasts, her stomach—but then he went farther down, and she realized where he was heading. A wave of lust rushed through her entire body, heat pooling between her thighs. God, she wanted him to, she wanted it more than anything… but she found herself suddenly sharply reminded of the other reason she’d sworn she’d stay away from men after Greg.
The thing was, she wasn't very good at sex. And if Ryan did that, he was certainly going to notice. She could fake it, she supposed—but she didn't want to fake anything with him. From the moment she'd met him, Ryan had made her feel as if she could trust him with anything, as if she could be entirely herself with him. She didn't want to lie to him, not ever. But that meant being honest…
"You, um, you don’t have to do that,” Isabella said.
"I know I don’t,” Ryan said. "I’d really like to, though.”
His eyes burned hot as he looked at her, and she had no doubt that he meant it. Oh God, just her luck. To finally find a guy like that, and then she’d have to disappoint him.
"I, um, I should tell you,” Isabella said, feeling the tips of her ears burning. "I can’t, um, come.”
Ryan looked up at her, his brows creasing.
"What, not at all?” he asked, startled. Isabella flinched.
"Not at all. I’m sorry,” she whispered. But Ryan didn’t look angry or disappointed. He was still looking at her with that faintly startled look on his face.
"Not even by yourself, or with a vibrator?” he asked.
"Oh, um. Oh God,” Isabella hid her burning face under her arm. "I can with a vibrator,” she said, muffled.
"But it doesn’t work when you use a vibrator when you're with someone?” Ryan asked.
Isabella looked out from underneath her arm, startled. "I've never tried that. That wouldn’t be any fun for the guy," she said.
Now Ryan looked disappointed, and possibly a little angry. Isabella winced and hid her face again. She shouldn’t have told him. She should have just faked it after all. She’d done that before.
"I’m starting to think you’ve been with some really selfish men,” Ryan said. "If you’re having fun, that’s fun for me too, okay? Whatever it takes. I just want you to enjoy yourself." His voice was very warm. Oh. He wasn't angry at her, then.
"I was enjoying myself a lot just now," Isabella said shyly.
Ryan smiled. "I'm glad, because I don’t exactly have a vibrator just lying around.” He kissed her thigh again, mouthing gently at the sensitive skin. Isabella shivered. "You do like this, right?”
"Yes,” Isabella said, blushing. Ooh, yes. She loved it, even if she’d never been able to come that way. At least not before Greg decided he had to stop because his tongue was getting tired.
It’s because you’re frigid, he’d always told her. Isabella felt almost nauseous just thinking about it. That was the last thing she wanted Ryan to think of her. But Ryan was smiling up at her, warm and affectionate, and her worry receded immediately when their eyes met. No, she didn’t think she’d have to worry about him judging her.
Her pussy was throbbing in time with her heartbeat. When Ryan bent down to kiss her through the thin fabric of her panties, her back arched and she let out a long, helpless moan. God, she couldn’t wait to have his mouth on her for real.
Ryan didn’t tease her for long. He helped her pull her panties off and then went right back down, giving her clit a first careful lick. Isabella clenched both hands in the rug, trying to keep still. Ryan noticed immediately that the light, teasing touch wasn’t enough. He licked her harder. Somehow he seemed to know exactly how firmly she wanted to be touched. Isabella moaned.
When Ryan slipped a finger inside her, her body opened for him easily, hungrily. Ryan crooked his finger just right, and the entire time he kept driving her crazy with his mouth. Isabella reached down, burying her hand in his thick, dark hair, holding him right where she wanted him. She let go immediately when she realized what she was doing.
"Sorry, sorry,” she said, but Ryan only laughed, a low rum
bling sound that felt amazing where his lips still touched her. He caught her hand with his and set it back on his head.
"Pull my hair if you want. I like it,” he said. "I like to know you’re enjoying yourself."
"You have no idea,” Isabella said fervently. He was so good at that, she never wanted him to stop. Waves of pleasure were rushing through her body from his mouth. Her toes were curling involuntarily, her heart racing. And yet climax was hovering just out of reach, tantalizing, so close…
"If you’re getting tired…” Isabella said tentatively, but Ryan only laughed. Again the feeling of it sent a shudder of pleasure through her.
Ryan never seemed to get tired. Whenever he lifted his head for a moment, she could see his flushed face and wide dark eyes, the slightly dazed look in his eyes; it couldn't have been more obvious how much he was enjoying himself, how much he loved doing this for her. He'd keep doing this as long as she liked.
The thought took her breath away. Suddenly it felt as if a dam was breaking inside her, as if a whole pent up tide of feeling suddenly tore free. It swept her entire body, tingling pleasure rushing through her from her core to the tips of her toes.
"Oh!” She shuddered, startled, overwhelmed. She’d never felt anything like it. "Oh!”
Isabella threw her head back, her entire body arching, overcome with the intensity of the feeling. She came with a helpless cry.
Ryan kept his mouth on her the entire time, stoking the pleasure higher. Finally when she was spent, he gave her one last affectionate kiss and sprawled out next to her on the rug with a satisfied grin on his face.
"Oh my God,” Isabella said, stunned. "God, that was amazing. I had no idea… Wow.”
She reached for him and dragged him into a wild, desperate kiss. Oh, she could taste herself on his lips! It was dirty in a way that sent a renewed tingle to the aching space between her legs.
Ryan was still wearing his jeans. She could see the impressive bulge of his cock behind his fly. She reached out and ran her finger over the length of it. Ryan’s gasp sounded almost pained.
She flicked the button open and then carefully drew down the zipper. He wasn’t wearing any underwear, she realized with a little thrill as his cock sprang free. Up close it was even bigger than she’d expected. Isabella wrapped her hand around it, awed, feeling the size of it in her hand. She couldn’t even quite close her fingers around him.