by Tahnee Fritz
He stares at me for a moment, then says, “What are you thinking about?”
I shrug, “Nothing too much.”
“Liar.” He’s great at detecting that. “What’s up, babe?”
I inch my way over to him and take the remote from his hands. I toss it on the recliner in the corner of the room and wrap my arms around him. I close my eyes and lean my head against his shoulder. He enfolds me in his arms, letting me feel safe against his warm body. This is always the best place to be when I don’t want to be in the real world.
“Did you have a bad day?” he asks.
I shake my head against him and say, “No, I just wanted to hug you.”
He strokes my hair with one hand and rubs my back with the other. What is it about being in the arms of the only person on the planet you would die for that makes everything worthwhile? How can this small hug make what I have to tell him so much harder?
I’ll never be done asking myself unanswerable questions, no matter how irritating they are.
“Bridget, you know I can tell when something’s bothering you.” He states, “You might as well tell me.”
I open my eyes and pull myself away from him, “I do have something really important to tell you.”
“Okay.”
“We rescued a family today. A mom, dad, and their two really young children. They were being chased by a bunch of zombies and we were there to help.” I say.
“That’s great.” He says.
I nod, “Yeah, it is. They said they came from some village out there. A day or two walk from here.”
“That means there’s more humans surviving on their own.”
“Exactly,” I run my fingers through my hair again, “Dwayne wants to find this village and convince the people there to come here. He thinks it’ll be beneficial to both them and us, which I agree. They’d have a better chance at living a good life here instead of hoping to make it another night in some random village. He’s getting a group together and plans on leaving Sunday morning.”
Ryder’s face goes from happy to confused in the short few seconds after I said that. His eyes look sad. They’re practically begging me not to tell him what he probably has figured out.
“He wants me and my team to go with him. I’ll be leading the group with him and we’ll find those people out there and come back with or without them.” I finally manage to say. “We’d probably be gone for about a week.
He nods, “A week?”
“I think so.”
Ryder takes a deep breath and starts pacing around the room. At least he’s not begging me to stay or change my mind about going. He’s not arguing with me about wanting to do something as dangerous as this.
“You told Dwayne you’d go?” he asks, not looking at me as he continues to pace.
I nod, “Carter would be going too.”
He keeps pacing, rubbing his hands on top of his head. I’ve never actually seen him like this before. I can’t tell if this is a good reaction or something I should be worried about. He’s nervous, his pale face and frightened eyes give that away. His hands are shaking and he’s breathing faster now. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea in the first place. I knew going beyond the wall and actually being gone for a few days would be a huge risk.
“Ryder,” I speak his name quietly, “You okay?”
He nods his head at first then switches to shaking it in denial, “I don’t know what I’m thinking.” He stops pacing and faces the doorway to the kitchen.
“I don’t have to go if you really don’t want me to. I’m fine staying here with you.” I say.
“No, I can’t be the reason for holding you back. I know this is something you want to do.”
“Yeah, but I don’t care. I’m not going to leave if you think it’s a bad idea.”
Finally he turns his eyes to me, “That’s not what I’m thinking. Like you, my mind is on something far crazier than that.”
I raise an eyebrow, “Okay?”
“I think I want to go with you.”
I can honestly say I did not expect those words to come out of his mouth. He’s not real keen on the idea of ever going back to the other side of the wall. Living in the city, being safe for the rest of his life, that’s his dream.
“You do?” I ask, quite confused.
He nods, “Yeah, I do. Something about that seems like a great idea.”
I move toward him and press my palm to his forehead like I’m checking for a fever, “Hmm, you don’t feel warm, but you’re saying things you wouldn’t normally say. Have you been replaced with a different version of my Ryder?”
He smiles and takes my hand to hold it, “It’s still me.”
“This doesn’t sound like you.”
“I know, but I think it would be good to go out there. After this last year of having a perfect life with you and not worrying about things anymore, a part of me misses the excitement that’s out there. A very small part. Besides that, if you’re going out there, so am I. We do this together.”
I smile and nod my head, “Together.”
He puts his hand on the back of my neck and presses his lips against mine. I squeeze his hand tight and close my eyes. In a way, I’m really glad he wants to do this with me. It wouldn’t be the same on the road without him. I’d be bored and lonely, saving people who are completely capable of saving themselves. Then again, I’m worried something horrible will happen because of this. Things can always go wrong, no matter how much you try planning and preparing for it. There are two things out there that can make things go really bad, really fast.
Chances are, we’ll run into both of them.
* * *
It’s Saturday afternoon already. Last night flew by so fast. We ate dinner without Carter because he stayed at the gate talking with Dwayne about things. Ryder finally got the DVD player to work and we watched an old comedy. Seeing those actors on the screen makes me wonder what happened to them. If they’re out there wandering as zombies or vampires, or if they managed to survive and are safe somewhere. Not like it matters what happened to them. They were merely in my life as entertainment.
I have a new form of that now.
Right now, I find myself sitting in a large room with Ryder in the chair next to me. We’re in an old elementary school that has been converted to the headquarters for the security force. It still feels like a school, though. The room we’re in still has old drawings and paintings hanging on the walls. The paper is old and yellow and the crayon marks have faded, but they remain. Someone told me it would be too much like throwing away the past if they took them down and no one wants that.
Dwayne is busy at the front of the classroom, leaning against the white board with the head of security right next to him. That man, Gary Nugget, yes his name makes me laugh every time I think of it, is shorter than Dwayne but just as buff. He’s older with greying hair and stubble on his chin. He’s always wearing camo pants with black combat boots and a brown t-shirt that’s so tight, his arm muscles bulge through the sleeves.
Both of them stand in front of the room with about ten of us sitting in small chairs. I knew there wouldn’t be too many volunteers for this mission. It has the potential to be extremely dangerous and possibly deadly. I am glad to see that most of my team is here though. Carter, Carla, and Dennis sit in the row behind us. Keith stayed behind to be with his family and I had no intention of asking him to come with us anyway. The man sitting beside Ryder is another army veteran, Tom is his name. The other four in the row behind Carter, are people I don’t know much about. Two of them served in the navy and have seen their share of death out there. The last two are volunteers from one of the other tower teams. They go out in the afternoon, so I don’t talk to them too much.
We are currently getting an idea of what we’ll be doing when we leave tomorrow. We’ll be walking in order to keep the noise at a minimum and not attract the wrong kind of creatures. Each of us is responsible for bringing a pack with plenty of ammo and food. Gary has
instructed us not to bring anything sentimental or a change of clothes. Things like that will weigh us down and I know all about that.
“I trust that you all know how to ration what food you bring with you. If there’s any possibility of this group getting lost, you’ll need all the food and water you can carry.” Gary states. “As much as I would love to join you on this mission, my place is here with the rest of the security team. You’ll be in good hands with Dwayne here. Next to him, you answer to Bridget and listen to what they tell you. Do not step out of line. That is how things go wrong.”
I nod as I stare at him. He would be a great asset to this group. I feel we’d have a better chance at surviving out there with his expertise and knowledge about killing. But, he’s right. This city needs him more than we do and if things go wrong, this place will be missing out.
“Dwayne will explain when you’ll be leaving tomorrow and when he expects to return.” Gary takes a step backward and Dwayne moves away from the wall.
“Be ready to go by ten in the morning. There will be a truck going to each of your homes to pick you up. If you are not ready to go, you will be either left behind or you’ll be going unprepared. If that happens, you can’t be upset when you piss off the others who are prepared and have brought food of their own and are forced to share with you.” Dwayne says in the most demanding voice he has. “After we pick you up, we’ll be coming to the gate and walking from there. According to the family that arrived yesterday, it’s a two day hike to that village. I expect to get there, stay overnight if they’ll allow it, and head back with or without them the next day.
“Our goal with this is to try to convince those people to come here. They know it’s unsafe out there and I’m positive all of them want to live in peace instead of boarding their lives up day in and day out.”
“What if they don’t want to come back with us?” I hear Carla’s voice ask from behind me. “How can we just leave them out there?”
“We can’t force them to come here. That’s not what this place is about. We want to save the human race, but we aren’t going to make someone live here against their will. If they want to face the world out there on their own, then so be it.” Dwayne replies. “We’re just going to do our best.”
When Dwayne really wants to do something, he sure can sound convincing. He takes his job very seriously and would do anything to keep our race alive. He’s a completely different man than when I first met him. Back then, he’d rather hide away in a basement than try to make a difference. I love this improvement.
Despite him telling us what our mission is out there, he’s not getting to the important details. He’s omitting the dangers that we will come across. I guess that is my job in the group. Dwayne is here to convince them, while I’m here to kill whatever zombie or vamp we come across. The others going with us are just as capable of doing my job as I am. They are all good with guns and killing things. It’s the mere thought of who I am and what I’ve done in my short life that gives me the opportunity to help lead this thing. Also, people really like someone who isn’t afraid of much anymore and that makes me just about perfect for this job.
“Do you have any more questions before I dismiss you all?” Dwayne asks.
It takes a minute before the boy in the last row to speak up, “What happens when we run into those things out there?”
There’s the question I knew someone would ask.
Dwayne turns to me and says, “Well, if we run into anything and you find yourself unable to pull the trigger, Bridget will be happy to help you out.”
I nod and smile at him, “Damn right.”
The group behind me chuckles and Ryder squeezes my hand. He’s still nervous about this whole thing, but he hasn’t changed his mind about going through with it. I guess I’m a little nervous too. This last year of living a somewhat normal life makes it seem like it’s been forever since I was a simple traveler outside that wall. There aren’t any run ins with vamps or looking over my shoulder here. I’m completely safe and I know once we’re on our way, that safety is gone.
“Before you head out and get ready for tomorrow,” Dwayne continues, “I want you to think about what we’re doing. Don’t think about the people we’re hoping to find or the thrill of being outside the wall for a few days. Really think about what we’re risking out there. While you’re doing this, if you get any second thoughts about volunteering for this mission, maybe you should reconsider. This isn’t something we want you to go on if you are unsure about anything.”
The group is quiet.
Uncomfortably quiet.
I can hear everyone breathing and wonder which one of them is having second thoughts right now. You’d be crazy not to have at least one voice in your head telling you this is a horrible idea. There are monsters out there that want to destroy us. They want to rip us to shreds and take our very lives without even thinking about it. I guess the voice in my head isn’t the right voice I should be hearing. The sane Bridget, the one who wouldn’t go through with this even for all the money and gold in the world, never speaks up or gives her opinion anymore. I know she’s there, she’s just really good at hiding.
“Alright, remember we’ll be picking you up at ten tomorrow so be ready. Dismissed.” Dwayne says.
The others behind me get out of their chairs, letting the wooden legs scrape against the floor as they move. I take a deep breath before standing up. Ryder follows me and Dwayne stops us before we are able to leave. He waits for everyone else to disappear down the hallway, including Gary, before talking privately with us.
“Ryder, I didn’t think you’d be willing to go with us.” Dwayne says.
“I can’t imagine letting Bridget go without me.” Ryder says with a smile.
“You know you don’t have to, right? I mean, you know what the possibilities are out there and the chances of us getting back in one piece.” Dwayne says, killing the nice buzz he had going.
“It’ll be fine. I know whatever problems we run into, there’s plenty of us to stop it. There’s not a doubt in my mind about getting back to the city.” Ryder replies.
Dwayne smiles, “Good. I’m glad you’ll be going along with us.”
“Me too.” I add in.
“You two should head home and prepare for tomorrow. Get plenty of sleep tonight and eat a good breakfast.” Dwayne turns around and walks down the hallway.
Ryder keeps his hand clasped in mine as we follow him down the hall. A few of the locker doors have been left open and a few still have school bags and books inside. It’s like the day never ended here and this place is waiting for the kids to return. There’s a million places in the world much like this building. I don’t know if it will ever get back to the way it used to be, but the more humans that survive, the more we have a chance at getting some of that back.
* * *
We ate a quiet dinner with Carter. It was excruciatingly awkward. None of us wanted to start a conversation that didn’t involve complimenting the meal. Carter said grace before we ate, omitting anything that had to do with our mission. I guess asking god for help and support in that particular area was off limits.
After dinner, we each got a bag ready to go for the morning. I retired my old backpack and opted for something a little easier to carry. I got a dark blue shoulder bag, similar to Ryder’s dinghy old satchel, and realized how much easier it is to move around without something big and bulky on my shoulders. It’s easier to get into if I need something, like more ammo, which has its own compartment on the front of the bag. I grab a couple bottles of water and some food that won’t weigh me down. Things like crackers and bread and stuff that won’t go bad too fast. The guys packed the heavy, canned foods and a few dishes in case we need them. We set our bags by the front door before bed, then Ryder and I went upstairs.
The black cat, Vambie, is lying at the foot of the bed, wagging his tail and purring. Ryder pats his head and the cat adores it. If I try to touch him, he hisses at me and bats my hand away. To
think that I let this cat sleep on my bed and eat some of my food and he still treats me like garbage. No wonder I’m not an animal person.
Ryder sits on his side of the bed with a lamp on next to him. Both of us are hoping we’ll get some sleep tonight. I can’t speak for Ryder, but I know I’m more than excited. Not that it’s going to be super fun or amazing, but it’s just going to be so different than what we’ve been doing. Terrifying and life threatening, but still exciting.
I pull the covers over my legs and sit close to Ryder. The heat from his body warms mine and gets rid of my goose bumps. It can get a little chilly in these old houses.
“Are you nervous about leaving?” Ryder asks.
I nod my head as I scoot a little closer to him, “Of course I am.”
“No second thoughts?”
“Are you having some?” I ask in reply.
He shrugs, “I guess so. I’m just afraid of running into something out there and not being ready for it. I’m worried we won’t find those people or, if we do, they’ll try to kill us for wanting to help them.”
“I don’t think they’ll try to kill us. The family we saved told us the people out there are good. They’re just trying to survive like everyone else.” I say.
“You’re probably right.” He says, then glances down at the cat.
He still has that worried look on his face. A look I don’t see too often anymore. He’s thinking too much about something and I might have a gut feeling of what that something is.
“You’re thinking about what happened in Hatfeld, aren’t you?” I ask.
He licks his lips and nods. The people in that town were supposed to be nice and friendly and look how wrong we were. We were so close to death after the few days we stayed in that place all because of the humans who chose to reside there. There’s no saying if the people in this village are as caring as what Martin’s family said they are. For all I know, they could be doing the same thing Nick was doing in Hatfeld. If that is the case, at least we’re more prepared this time around.