by Tahnee Fritz
George spent a few minutes trying to talk me into eating some of the beans he cooked over the flames and I had a hard time refusing his offer. He handed a bowl to me and I stared at the meal in disgust. The food didn’t even sound good. I had a feeling that the second that first bite hit my tongue, I’d regret it and want to throw it back up. But, in order to keep this human persona under wraps, I forced it down my throat and pushed through the pain in my stomach after eating it. The taste only got worse with each bite I took and my stomach did not approve of this meal.
I wish I knew why food doesn’t taste the same anymore. When I was traveling with dad, it was the most wonderful thing to come across a can of beans or a can of anything edible. It was a delicacy to me back then and now it’s repulsive. The smell of it makes the pain in my gut expand and it took a lot to shove the few bites down. I had to use the excuse of not being very hungry in order to get out of eating anymore of it.
That little dinner was about an hour ago. The stars are out and I can’t get enough of looking at them. Even with the shades still on my face, I can see them just as bright as if they were off. They glimmer and sparkle against the black canvas they’re painted upon. All the millions of lights shining above us provides enough light so we can see. The full moon adds even more light to the woods and it’s absolutely beautiful.
“Why won’t you take those sunglasses off? It’s dark outside, I highly doubt the sun will hurt your eyes now.” George says and I turn my attention to him.
I shake my head, “The flames are just as bright. I can’t stand bright lights for some reason. It really hurts my eyes.” I’m getting good at not using complete lies.
He rolls his eyes and smiles, “You are confusing, you know that. You won’t tell me much about yourself and I’m probably the first company you’ve seen in days. I know you are to us.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to know my life story. It’s sad and doesn’t end well.” I reply.
“Does this have something to do with why you can’t go back to Des Moines?”
I nod, “Somewhat. There are other reasons, but I’m not going to tell you.”
“Won’t you miss it? Don’t you want to try going back there?” George asks, poking a stick at the fire. “Surely you have friends who live there.”
I close my eyes, letting the montage of the people I love flash through my head. Sherry and her new family with Seth. They’ll live a long, happy life together with her father and Dillon to watch out for them. Carter, the guy who’s sole purpose in life is to make sure his best friend’s girlfriend doesn’t get herself killed. I hate to think this, but he sort of failed on that part. There’s also Dwayne, who might be a little on the crazy side for believing this world will ever see peace again.
Then there’s Ryder.
As much as I love seeing his face flash through my mind, I hate seeing it just the same. I hate seeing the reminders of what I’ll never have again. Those memories that should have been lost right along with my beating heart. It’s a tough battle to love and hate something at the same time. Especially when it involves the one person I never want to live without.
“You have a guy back in Des Moines, don’t you?” George asks, after my long moment of silence.
I open my eyes and nod my head, “I do.”
“Why isn’t he out here with you?”
“It’s complicated.”
He smiles, “Every girl’s excuse for being in a bad relationship. It’s not complicated to see that he doesn’t deserve you.”
“You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” I feel the anger rising through me. “It’s not Ryder’s fault why I’m stuck out here. It’s mine. I made a stupid mistake, one that I’m forced to live with for the remainder of my life, and it’s my fault that I’ll never get to see him again. This isn’t a matter of who deserves who. We both deserve each other and I screwed that up when I stepped foot outside that gate. You’ll never understand what I’m going through right now.”
He raises his arms in defense and says, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. I’m just so used to meeting girls who say one thing but mean something completely different. I really didn’t mean to upset you.”
I take a moment to calm down. It’s hard to do when someone says the wrong thing about the man I’m in love with. I’m sure if Ryder was given the choice, he’d have come with me. If Carter wasn’t there to hold him back, he would have followed me and stayed right by my side throughout my night of pain and dying. I’m glad he wasn’t given a choice. He didn’t need to see me like that.
“You alright? Are we good?” George says.
I stare at him, the shadows of the flames dance across his face, “For now. You just need to know not to say anything bad about Ryder. You know nothing about him or me and you never will.”
“I understand.” He replies. “You must really be in love with that guy to get that pissed off about it.”
I nod, “You have no idea.”
“I might. I used to be in love with a girl, not too long ago. She was supposed to be with me forever, but got scared and went with a group to the city to be safe. Only they didn’t make it and we found their corpses a few days later.” He states, “I should’ve went with her, but she told me to stay. The city life wasn’t a life I wanted and I’d be unhappy if I went. It’s true, I’d hate it there, but I still should have went with her.”
“Sorry you had to go through that.” I say.
“What about you? How do you know that Ryder is your one and only?” he asks.
“I met him on the road and we spent a few nights alone together. I knew after our first kiss, I only wanted to be by his side. He’s the reason I went to Des Moines in the first place and he’s the reason I wanted to stay there.” I reply.
“But you’re out here now. I just wish you would tell me so I can finally get some clearance on your whole story. This secret can’t possibly be that bad.” He says.
If he only knew.
Before I’m given the chance to answer, a sound catches my ears. I can’t tell exactly where it is or how far away. My eyes grow wide and I stare at the woods behind George. Another stick breaks and echoes through my mind. He isn’t reacting, meaning it’s still too far for him to hear it. His sister, on the other hand, still has her eyes on me. She can tell just by the look on my face, that I know something neither of them don’t.
“I think I know your secret.” Kelly asks, her first words since we got to the clearing.
I raise an eyebrow, “Oh yeah?”
“What do you think it is?” George asks.
She clutches her hands around her knees and says, “I don’t think you’re a human like you told us.”
George lets out a loud laugh that seems to echo in the trees around us, “That’s a good one, sis.”
“Yeah,” I say, without a smile at all, “good one.”
I hear another sound, more like a footstep and I stand, ignoring Kelly’s statement. I take a look around, scanning the trees for movement of any kind. I expect a vamp to jump out from the darkness. Those creatures love this time of night and love preying on unexpecting victims like these humans sitting around the fire. I close my eyes and try focusing on the sound. It’s definitely footsteps, labored and stumbling quickly through the leaves. Doesn’t sound like a human or an animal. I inhale through my nose, hoping to catch a hint of the creature. I get something, the smell of death and I open my eyes again.
“Bridget, what’s wrong?” George asks, getting to his feet and looking around for himself.
“We’re not alone.” I say, simply.
* * *
Things always have the tendency of happening as though they are on cue after I say something. Take right now for instance. The second those words came out of my mouth, I hear the groaning coming from behind me and see a horrible look of terror all across George’s face. He looks like he’s never seen something horrible like this before. I’ve been in his shoes and used to get so scared I just w
anted to run and hide. Those days are long gone.
He turns to his sister and she stands up to be with him. They cower together, without thinking to get the gun from the holster on his belt. That would have always been my first go-to thing the second a zombie came within firing distance. I guess George isn’t as confident as he likes to claim he is.
I turn around to see the zombie lumbering toward us. Her red hair blends in with the blood stains on her white sweater and blue jeans. She doesn’t look as gross as some of the others I’ve come across. Her eyes are still black, but she’s not all rotten or starting to decompose.
She must be new at this.
She’s obviously not the type to want to hesitate either. She’s hungry and I can see it in her eyes. It’s the same hunger I felt burning inside me all day. She lets out her annoying and deathly growl as she runs through this clearing to get to us. If I had a gun, she’d be dead by now. That seems a little too easy now that I have some cool, new abilities of my own. Killing her with my bare hands should be just as rewarding and maybe even a little fun.
I step away from the fire, moving closer to the stumbling zombie. I probably look like a complete idiot approaching something as deadly as this. Good thing it doesn’t matter anymore.
“Bridget, what the hell are you doing?” I hear George’s question, but I’m too focused to care what he’s saying.
My mind is solely set on destroying this zombie. She marks one of the reasons why I am the way that I am right now. Her kind ruined my life and I’m about to ruin hers. I pick up the pace, closing the short distance between us, and tackle the thing to the ground. She lets out a shriek when her body hits the grass. I position myself on top of her and grab a handful of her hair. The ground is soft so this could take a while. I slam her head against the ground as hard as I can. Nothing cracks or breaks in her skull and it only seemed to piss her off even more.
She reaches both hands up and claws at my face and neck. I lean back far enough so she can’t get me, but she’s pretty strong. She swats at my face, catching a finger on my sunglasses. She pulls her hand away to swing at me again and the shades go flying. I’m a bit preoccupied at the moment to watch where they land, but I hear them crash somewhere close by.
I feel her nails scratching the skin of my right cheek. There’s a small amount of pain coming from the scratch, nothing I can’t handle but enough for me to notice. It’s just like a paper cut. Annoying for about two seconds, then fades away. I take her hair and slam her head against the soft grass one more time. Still, nothing breaks and she only gets stronger underneath me.
A loud wail comes pouring out of her mouth and she lunges up from the ground, tackling me this time. She digs her fingers into my shoulders and pins me on the ground. My back hits the grass with a thud and the weight of her body has me stuck in place. Her eyes might be hungry and I’m waiting for her to dig those yellow teeth into my flesh. I’m anticipating it actually. Instead, she simply kicks me away from her and gets to her feet. I’m not on her menu tonight and she lumbers toward the meal she truly desires. I roll to my stomach and stare at George. Kelly is hiding behind him and he still hasn’t gotten the gun out.
I jump to my feet and quickly chase after the zombie. She’s close to the humans and the fire isn’t enough to stop her. She steps around it, her feet kicking a piece of the wood out of place and the fire goes dim for moment. I can see perfectly in this darkness. The one thing I’m really enjoying about this new life of mine.
She’s too close to George and Kelly for comfort. She has them backed against a tree and they are too afraid to run away. I pick up the pace and sprint toward the zombie. The air rushes past me, whistling in my ears as I run. The world flashes by and in an instant, I’m leaping into the air coming down on the back of the zombie. She falls to the ground one more time and starts clawing to get away from me. Her fingers are digging lines in the grass and dirt.
“Not this time, bitch.” I say, feeling very tough at the moment.
I know slamming this thing’s head against the soft grass isn’t going to do anything. I don’t have time to steal the gun away from George and I’m having enough fun as it is. As I pin her to the ground, the wind soars through the air around us. I catch a scent, something I’d rather not want to enjoy. I can smell whatever blood is flowing through her body. It might be dead blood, but it’s still intoxicating. It’s hard for me to not want to try some. It’s hard for me to stop myself from wanting a taste and bringing an end to my hunger.
I hate myself for the thought that’s going through my mind. It’s disgusting and dangerous, but it might be the only way to put an end to her miserable life without the use of a gun. If I’m lucky, it won’t put an end to mine as well. With my mind screaming at me not to go forward with what my body is forcing me to do, I grab this zombie’s arm and clamp my jaw down, hard on her wrist. I feel the skin breaking under my teeth and the flow of her black blood oozes between them as my monster finally get what it wants. She screams loud, blocking out whatever George is yelling. The blood flowing through my teeth is different than the rabbit’s. It tastes old and even a little dirty, but it’s calming my aching stomach.
My mind races as I suck a little more of her blood into my mouth. I even taste some flesh and let a little slide down my throat. I don’t feel myself getting weak or feel like I’m going to actually die. I feel stronger now that my stomach is finally getting what it wants. My mind has even shut up and isn’t yelling at me for doing this. If this is what I have to do to stay alive, then I’ll just have to get to use to it.
The shouting coming from the zombie is fading, as is her struggle against my grip. She stops clawing at the ground to get away from me and soon stops moving altogether. That’s my cue to let go of her arm and throw it on the ground with the rest of her. I lick my lips and wipe her blood from my mouth.
God I’m disgusting. I can’t help it anymore though. This is all I have to keep myself from eating a human and I’m going to do it. I don’t really want to, my mind hates me right now for doing it, but it solved the problem. I killed the zombie. George and Kelly are still alive and they can thank me for this later.
Speaking of those two, I snap back to reality and turn my attention to them. I quickly get to my feet and wipe the remainder of the zombie’s blood from my face. George is stunned and shocked as he stares at my eyes. Without the shades on, there’s nothing to block what they look like. Not that it matters anymore now. I can’t pretend I’m human after sucking the blood from a dead woman’s wrist. That sounds weird just thinking about it.
I take a step toward them and I’m the one who gets the reaction the zombie should have gotten. He quickly pulls the gun from the holster and aims it at me. I stop moving, staring down the barrel of his small pistol. If he shoots me in the head, I’m sure to be a goner. There’s got to be something to keep him from doing that.
“George,” I say, hoping against hope that he doesn’t shoot me for speaking.
He opens his mouth and shaky words come out, “What the hell are you?”
“I was hoping I never had to tell anyone my secret.”
He raises the gun and shouts, “Just tell me what you are. You’re not human and you’re not a vampire or a zombie. Please, just tell me what the hell you are.”
I nod and here goes nothing, “You’re right, I’m not human anymore and as much as I wish I could make things go back to normal, I can’t. I was bit by a vampire first, then backed up into a zombie and it got me as well. I don’t know what I am and I don’t know of any other way to explain this to you. This is the reason I can’t go back to the city and why I shouldn’t have gone with you in the first place.”
The gun is shaking in his grip and he says, “I don’t know if I’m supposed to be afraid of you or not. I mean, you just saved our lives, but you’re not human. Do you even have a heartbeat?”
I shake my head.
“How long have you been like this?”
I shrug, “I don’t know, n
ot long. I was with a group when this happened, but I ran away from them to keep them safe. I blacked out in some greenhouse and woke up like this.”
“So, what’s with the sunglasses?” he asks.
I shrug, “The sun burns the hell out of my eyes if I don’t have them on. I found that out the hard way. I’m not like them though.” I point to the zombie on the ground, “I’m not going to bite you or your sister. I just want to be as normal as possible. That’s why I didn’t tell you anything.”
“That zombie kinda ruined your plan on keeping things a secret. Why did you do go after it like that? Why didn’t you just take the gun and shoot it?” he asks, lowering the gun to his side.
“I don’t know. This thing that’s inside of me, has a hard time not being in control when I’m hungry. And I have a difficult time controlling it as well. This morning, right before you found me, I was eating a rabbit and I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t keep myself from killing it and it wasn’t enough to ease the hunger burning inside me, but I was able to control it around you.” I reply.
“How do I know you’re not going to kill us?”
“Because I were going to, you’d be dead by now.”
He stares at me for a second. I can see the judgment in his eyes. I wouldn’t blame him for killing me right now. I’m a little surprised he hasn’t yet. I am a monster after all.
George takes a breath, then lowers the gun to his side completely and must know I’m telling the truth. I have no intention of hurting him or any other human on the planet. I didn’t even plan on killing the zombie the way I did, but it had to be done. Glad I’m not dead by drinking her blood, that’s for sure. The vamps died pretty quickly after the dead blood hit their lips and I’m still standing. I must be something so different, who knows if I’ll ever fully understand it.