by Tahnee Fritz
The breeze feels nice against my skin and I close my eyes hoping my mind will clear itself. The blackness isn’t enough to take the annoyance out of my brain and the smell of humans seems to make everything worse. That smell is really clear out here. I know nobody followed me and it doesn’t smell like Ryder. I open my eyes and look around. The swings are empty. The few cars are clear. The bench sitting next to an old, nonworking fountain is the only thing harboring the cause of the scent.
His black hair blows in the wind and I ease myself away from the car I was leaning against. He’s completely alone and doesn’t bother turning to face me until he hears my footsteps approaching.
The hesitant zombie from last night. The one who chose to bite me instead of letting me do all the dirty work. He looks much better now that he’s a human. I can actually see his face. He is a couple years older than me and his eyes are just as dark as his hair. His skin is pale, but darker than one of the undead. I know I have Ryder and all, but this guy looks pretty good.
“What are you doing out here?” I ask.
He shrugs, “Just want to be alone. Why aren’t you back there celebrating with everyone else?”
I sit across from him on the concrete edge surrounding the old fountain, “Needed to get away. What’s your name?”
“Jason,” he states, “and you’re Bridget, the girl with the cure.”
“I guess.” I say, “Aren’t you going to tell me how I’m so wonderful and the best thing to happen to the world since sliced bread?”
He shakes his head, “I’m sure you’ve heard that all morning.”
Good. He gets it.
Jason looks away from me, his eyes are sad and full of shame. His arms are folded across his chest and it looks like he doesn’t even want to be here. There’s something on his mind and I have a gut feeling it might have something to do with why he was a hesitating zombie. I’ve wanted to know for over a year why some of those things choose not to attack humans and just stand there like an idiot instead. If he knows the answer to that, it will get rid of one annoying question I have.
“Can I ask you something, Jason?” I say.
He sits forward on the bench and says, “You want to know why I bit you last night instead of going after your friend.”
I nod, “Something like that. I take it you remember a lot from being dead.”
He takes a deep breath and says, “I remember everything. Every disgusting detail and the people I killed over the last two years. I remember my life before I was turned into that zombie and I can tell you every horrible moment I went through changing into it.”
I raise an eyebrow, “How do you remember all that and the others can’t recall a thing?”
He shrugs, “I don’t know exactly, but one day I was lumbering along as a zombie and I got a flash of my life. I had forgotten everything until that moment and it all came back. My parents, my sisters, my friends, the bastard who bit me and tore of a chunk from my leg. At first I thought I was changing back to human, that I was finally going to have my life back. I spent days waiting for my heart to start beating again and it never happened. Then I started to remember all the people I killed and changed while being a zombie and I hated it. ”
“So what did you do?” I ask.
“Since I knew I was still a zombie, I stayed as far away from humans as possible. I didn’t want to hurt them anymore and swore to never kill another one. I stayed by myself for a while until I met with a horde of zombies a few weeks ago and figured I’d hang out with them.” He says.
“Great company.” I say, sarcastically.
He smiles and goes on, “We chased some family through the woods not long ago and wound up at a huge wall. That’s when I saw you.”
“You remember me?” I ask.
He nods, “Yeah and I know you recognized me last night right before I bit you. I thought for sure you were going to kill me at the wall when I first saw you and I was hoping you would have. But, you let me go and I found my way to those other two zombies and came here.”
“And that’s when you chose to go after Ryder and Carter. I thought you gave up on humans. Why the sudden change?” I say.
“I got tired of waiting for my life to finally be over. I figured not eating anything would end it all and it didn’t.” he says, “I sought out the death I desired after you wouldn’t give it to me. When I saw you again last night, I knew you weren’t human anymore, but I also knew you weren’t entirely dead either. Still, I didn’t want to be a zombie anymore and I assumed biting you would get me shot or piss you off enough to take me out.”
“I guess I ruined your little plan.”
Jason shakes his head and says, “No, you changed it. The moment I tasted how different your flesh and blood was from other humans, I knew you were special. I could actually feel my body coming back to life and it was overwhelming so I passed out. When I woke up, I wasn’t happy to be alive. I was just happy I wouldn’t have to force myself to watch the world through undead eyes anymore.”
I figured I’d be relieved finally getting to the bottom of the zombie hesitation. It’s so much sadder than I expected it to be. Those things, as monstrous and disgusting as they might appear, have gained some part of their soul back and hate living with the memories. All they want is to be human again or die because they don’t want to live like that anymore.
It makes me think of the few hesitant ones I killed the last time I was on the road. That woman when I was with dad, the old lady right before I met Ryder, each of them saw their life and couldn’t ask for help to get it back. Dying was the next best thing. That little battle between the zombies and the vampires outside of Hatfeld makes much more sense now. They were trying to save us as well as end the suffering in their own minds.
“I told you my story,” Jason says, interrupting my thoughts, “tell me yours. Why did you want to get away?”
I toss him half a smile and run my fingers through my hair, “Well, for starters, it gets very hard to control the hunger and thirst every time I smell a human. I can feel the frenzy burning inside when there’s a lot of them around and I’m worried I’ll lose it and attack someone. Secondly, I can’t stand being around all of them when they are so happy and grateful and can’t get enough of me. It’s hard enough dealing with my newly found issues, adding jealousy to the mix doesn’t sit right with me.”
He raises an eyebrow and asks, “What could you possibly be jealous of us for?”
“You all have heartbeats. I don’t have one anymore.” I reply.
“Oh,” Jason says, lowering his head, “didn’t think of that.”
“That’s the worst thing about all of this. The world has something to end what shouldn’t have started in the first place. There’s just nothing to end what happened to me.”
He doesn’t say anything. He tries to smile, but I can tell a small part of him feels sorry for me. I don’t need or want that sorrow. This is the life I was given and I’m going to live it no matter what it takes. Probably be hard every day of my new life, but I have no other choice.
“You know, you might think this is the worst thing to happen to you, but I’m positive it’s not. This could be the best thing to ever happen to you and you just haven’t realized it yet.” Jason says, standing from the bench and joining me by the fountain.
“How is being a monster with a cure the best thing to happen to me?” I ask.
He shakes his head, “I don’t know you very well, but I promise you’re no monster.”
That might be the nicest thing anyone has said to me today. Weird that it didn’t come from Ryder. Normally he’s the one who tells me nice things to make me feel better. I guess it’s good to hear things like this coming from complete strangers. Having others think of me as something other than what I feel like, could prove to be beneficial.
I turn to Jason and brush the hair away from my face, “I think I’m gonna head back. I don’t want them to think I ran off never to return.”
He smiles and s
ays, “Yeah, you do have something important to return to them. You don’t want to worry them or your boyfriend.”
“I’m not concerned about worrying anyone. I’m concerned about getting the word out there about the cure in my blood. It’s important the world has it.” I say, then stand from the concrete ledge.
He nods and stands up as well, “Maybe you should sound a bit happier when you say things like that. People will think you don’t want the world to have this new cure.”
I shrug, “Sometimes it’s hard to be happy about something that will grant the world humanity without giving yourself the same pleasure.”
My feet carry me away from him. I know he’s a good person, he’s just trying to make me see things the way the world is going to see it. My mind is so stuck on never having a cure for myself. I can’t get it out of my head and nothing anyone will tell me could ever help.
At least he didn’t bombard me with gratitude or thankfulness over saving his life. I’m sure to be greeted with that once I return to the village.
* * *
Ryder is waiting for me when I get back. He is sitting on the stoop of the house we slept in last night. No doubt he woke up and instantly got worried when he didn’t see me lying on the couch. I’d be worried too if the roles were reversed.
He smiles and stands when he sees me approaching. Further down the street, the group of people are still getting things ready. Their cart is fully loaded with supplies and many of them are swinging backpacks over their shoulders and talking amongst themselves. If I were interested, I could focus enough to listen to every word they say. I’m just not too worried about what they have to say about me or this plan Adam and Carter came up with on getting to the city. As long as things go well, they’ll make it there and will be able to start a new life. I, on the other hand, will be lucky if the city gives me a second glance. The shades are kind of a dead giveaway on a human trying to hide something about their appearance.
Jason followed me to the village. Neither of us said a word to each other and he is on his way to join the others in preparing for our little journey to Des Moines. Ryder must have seen him walking behind me. The smile fades from his face and a scowl crosses his lips.
“Do I need to be worried about anything?” he asks as I get closer to him.
I shake my head, “Absolutely not.”
“Okay,” he says, “Where did you go?”
“I needed to be alone for a minute so I could let all of this settle. I ran into him at this old park and we talked for a few minutes, then I decided to come find you.” I reply, “I did find out something interesting about the zombies and why they hesitate.”
Ryder’s eyes light up in anticipation, “What’s that?”
I take a couple minutes to explain what Jason told me. This information could be important to anyone who comes across a hesitant zombie. It’s almost as important as spreading the word about my cure. People should know this. They’d be able to understand and maybe not pull the trigger when they’re face to face with a zombie who just wants to be human again. Might sound a little crazy, but you get used to all the crazy nonsense in this world.
“Wow,” he states, “what happened in Hatfeld makes more sense now.”
I smile, “That’s exactly what I thought, too.”
“Have you talked to Carter already?”
I nod, “Yeah, he told me everyone wants to get me to the city in order to make the cure worldwide before the wrong people get wind of this. Apparently I’m valuable now.”
“I guess,” he says, then lets out a sigh, “I really missed you, Bridge.”
I run my fingers through my hair and say, “I missed you too. It hurt a lot having to run away from you like that. I just couldn’t take the risk of doing something to you.”
“I know, I just wish I would have been able to follow you. I could’ve been there for you during whatever change you had to go through. I could’ve made it better. I hate knowing you were alone for all that.” He says.
“I wasn’t exactly alone. Someone was with me, sort of.” I say, thinking of my conversation with Charlie.
He scrunches his face in confusion, “Who?”
“It’s a little hard to explain. I was in a lot of pain and my mind sort of shut down for a bit and I saw my brother. He spoke to me and things got better.” I say. “He told me all of them were watching over me and I guess it helped ease the pain.”
I probably just sounded pretty crazy. Talking about how I saw my dead brother in my head while I was dying in the middle of nowhere. Not a lot of people say things like that and it takes someone as strange as me to be the first one.
Surprisingly, Ryder doesn’t think I’m as crazy as I seem. He gives me a small smile and takes my hand. Instantly, I can feel the blood flowing through his veins and the tiny pulse beating in his fingertips. His warm grip on my hand makes me feel somewhat better about all of this. I don’t feel as dead as I know I am. I wish I could kiss him right now. I wish I could taste his lips on my own and get that wonderful feeling of love going through my body again.
Wishes like that can’t come true for me anymore.
“I want to kiss you, Bridge,” he says, “I wish you would let me.”
Great minds think alike I guess, “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to go through what I did.”
He nods in understanding. He shouldn’t have to agree with me on this. We should be able to kiss whenever we want, to hold each other whenever we feel the need. I shouldn’t have gotten bit by those damn beasts. I wouldn’t be standing here worried about the possibility of the wrong people getting wind of the cure. There’s a chance I’d be safe and sound behind the city walls right now.
“Bridget,” Ryder says softly, “I have to ask, why do you wear those ridiculous sunglasses?”
I smile, clearing the bad thoughts from my mind, “The sun will light my eyes on fire if I don’t. One great side effect to this otherwise flawless new form of mine. The shades aren’t ridiculous though. I think I look good.”
He chuckles and squeezes my hand tight. I’m glad he changed the subject so I could get away from painful memories of things I’ll never experience again.
I hear a whistle coming from the group down the street. The two of us look that way and see everyone gearing up and on their feet. It must be time to start moving.
Ryder takes a deep breath and says, “I guess that means it’s time to go.”
I nod, “The sooner we get to the city, the sooner the world can get back to normal.”
We step away from the house and head for the group. A gust of wind sweeps across the village and I’m caught with a smell that doesn’t seem quite right. It’s human. Their fresh blood flies through the wind to get to me. It seems like there’s a lot of them and I know for sure it’s not coming from anyone here.
I hear the sounds of heavy boots stomping on the concrete and grass. The sounds are coming from behind me, the only road that will lead us away from this place. These humans are headed right for us and I’m probably the only one who knows. I stop walking with Ryder and stand in the middle of the street.
“Something’s not right.” I say, quietly.
Ryder turns to look at me, “What are you talking about?”
I close my eyes and concentrate only on the sounds coming from behind us. The footsteps crunching over leaves and sticks, kicking rocks out of their way. Hushed voices of men and women talking about something, someone to be exact. The reason they’re coming here. The only reason anyone would come to a place like this after something life changing has happened to the world.
“Someone’s coming after me.” I say quietly.
* * *
“Who the hell are those people?” I hear Adam’s voice as he rushes to us.
I open my eyes and turn around to see what he and everyone else is seeing. A large cluster of men and women, more than what we have here, and they are headed right for us. Guns are in the hands of some and swords are in others. Ever since the apo
calypse first took form, I have not once seen a human use a sword to fend off any creature. I guess these Midwestern people have a different way to kill them.
Carter and the others have joined us, guns ready in their grip. The rest of the people in the village are running indoors and locking themselves inside. I’m not the only one who knows something isn’t right with this new group of people heading this way.
A tall, dark skinned man, riding a horse approaches. He looks military with his camo jeans and dark green t-shirt. The dog tags hanging around his neck are a dead giveaway on that assumption. He stares us down as the horse trots back and forth and his group stand tall behind him. He snarls at some of us as he scans our faces. Finally, he jumps down from the horse, bringing his rifle with him. He keeps the aim at the ground, but that doesn’t stop any of my group to take their aim off him and his men.
Adam steps out in front of us and asks, “What do you want?”
The man smiles, his teeth are white and stick out against his dark skin, “Can’t some people come here looking for friendship without getting guns aimed at us? We ain’t gonna hurt you people.”
Nobody lowers their weapon on our side. Carter moves up to stand with Ryder and I. He slips a handgun to Ryder who eagerly takes it. I, on the other hand, get nothing. I’m sure they think I can handle my own, which is so not a lie.
“What are you doing here?” Adam tries pressing for an answer.
The man smiles and asks, “Look, my name is Trevor. The guys behind me are good people, fighting for this world and trying to keep the few humans we find safe. I mean it when we don’t want to hurt you.”
“Sorry, but I’m having a hard time believing that when all of your men have weapons bigger than ours and don’t look shy about using them.” Adam retorts. “Just tell me what the hell you’re doing here.”