“Can you listen for Julie?” My anger for him resurfaces with that question.
“You can tell your girlfriend where you’re going. I’m not staying here.”
“Girlfriend?” He is puzzled.
“Yes.” His mouth turns up into a deep smile as it falls open and laughter emits from him. Deep, belly laughs that shake his chest.
“You think Julie is my girlfriend?” His chuckles hinder him from forming a sentence. I nod. “Come with me,” he looks in my eyes, “please?”
He walks from the room, and I follow. He leads me to a door that is pulled shut but isn’t latched. He brings his finger up to cover his lips, mimicking the shhh command. Pushing the door open, it’s dark with a glow from a pink lamp and tiara nightlight. Walking quietly in his footsteps, I am standing in front of a crib, with a sleeping baby nestled under pink blankets, a pacifier laying by her little rosebud mouth. “Saylor, meet Julie. My daughter.”
My head swings to his so fast I think something cracked in my neck. I’m stunned. The look of love, the total adoration radiating from his body at this little girl . . . his daughter. Julie. I’m a fucking idiot. I steal another glance at her, back at him, and I’m fucked.
I’ve drunk the Kool-Aid.
I’m joining the cult.
Moving onto the commune.
I’m Deacon-fied.
My heart slams in my chest, my ovaries shrivel up and explode. Rainbows and unicorns appear, and I’m floating on cloud fucking nine. This beautiful man is a father—a proud one. My thoughts and feelings don’t reconcile. I’m projecting my daddy issues on him, and I’m a goner.
I’m lucky I have the mind to push his bare chest out of his daughter’s room because the plans I have for this man need no witness. My lips graze his nipples. His chest vibrates with his groan. I place my hands on his shoulders, stretching as far as I can go, my tongue darts out to taste his skin, and he crashes into the wall. Pulling with as much force as I dare, I bring his mouth down to mine and cover his lips. He gives no hesitation falling into me, tongues dueling and making friends.
I’m so fucked. I lift one of my legs circling his hips rubbing my core against his hipbone and riding it like I’m in a rodeo. I don’t have a fuck to give what this makes me look like. He’s made me feel. I’m past the point of good decisions and Lord help me . . . this has disaster blaring in neon. I scratch my nails down his chest; his harsh intake of air spurs me to continue.
I may come in this hallway, fully dressed, and I can’t seem to stop myself. Until he pulls back and stares at me. It’s like I hear the screeching of brakes before the collision. Rejection is all I see on the horizon.
Her eyes shining with desire, I know I won’t let her walk out of here after she mounted me like a bull. “Tell me you want this.” Her headspace was skewed when she walked in here. I know Alec did something, and taking advantage of her feels wrong—but she’s making it hard to stop.
“I want this.” My mouth drops to hers. Placing my hands under her ass, I scoop her up and carry her the rest of the way into my bedroom. Her arms cling to me, her legs like a vice grip as my mouth continues to devour her. My tongue meets her lips; the heat scorches me, and the craving I’ve had for her intensifies.
I find the bed and place her down gently, pulling back and memorizing the way she looks in my space. Her chest heaves, her lips are swollen, and I can’t be gentle. Reaching to remove her shirt, she bats my hands and pulls it up, flinging it over her head. I watch as her greedy hands take off those sexy as sin shorts she wears, and my mouth is dry. Pink fucking lace adorns every place I want to lick, taste . . . get lost in. I shuck my shorts down, and my cock is erect grazing my stomach. I watch her eyes roam, and I know the minute she zeroes in on my dick. Her throat works double time swallowing, and I groan imagining her lips wrapping around my cock. That will have to be next time—I’m too desperate to be inside her.
I bend over and push one strap of her bra down, nibbling her neck. Taking a nipple between my forefinger and thumb, I tug and pinch, feeling her exhale against my cheek. I can’t hide my smile as I work my way up her jaw to her ear, biting down on her lobe. Ripping her bra the rest of the way off, I grab her under the arms and push her farther up the bed. She sheds her underwear, and I’m done.
Falling between her legs, my hand goes to her pussy. “So fucking wet for me.” Her moan of appreciation is all it takes to fuel me. I let my finger slide up her wet folds as I bite her nipples; alternating from side to side. Her back arches, my name slips from her lips, and I need to taste her. “Fucking beautiful,” I murmur against her breasts. Burying my finger in her pussy, she clenches down in need.
My mouth follows the lines of her torso down to meet my finger. My tongue trails her skin raised in goose bumps. Her head thrashes against the pillow, and I watch her face, see her skin flush—she’s casting a spell, and I can’t get enough. Sweeping my tongue up her pussy, tasting her—I’m lost. In heaven. Flattening my tongue against her entrance, I circle her clit, feeling it harden. Her body is rocking into my mouth, and I continue licking, finger fucking her while I take her nub in my mouth and suck. Her moans and breath are coming in short pants, so I bite down and watch her crest into orgasm.
“Fuck, Saylor. So damn hard for you.” I refuse to wait another second; I lean over her body, grab a condom, and sheath myself in record-breaking time. I push her leg back, opening her further to me and thrust in deep and fast. Her pussy is tight as it envelops me, and fuck if it doesn’t rock me to the core. Her eyes are locked on me, her breath faltering. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” The non-verbal response I get is her nails rubbing over my scalp, down my neck, biting into my shoulders. She moves her neck up and meets my mouth. Taking her plump bottom lip between my teeth and biting down, I pull out of her tight warmth and push back in. Grabbing her thighs, my fingers bite into her skin as I fill her to the hilt repeatedly. I want this to be what she thinks of when she goes to the far off place in her mind. I want to remind her she isn’t alone.
My mouth stays connected to hers as I continue to thrust, my cock swelling inside her. Pulling all the way back and slamming into her, I’ve lost my mind. Each time I enter her, she clamps her pussy muscles, and I’m fighting not to come. Taking what I want, what we both need. Her breath is warming my lips, and her tits bounce from the force I’m using to fuck her. Bringing my hand between us, my thumb finds her clit, and I rub with just the right amount of pressure, making her arch up into me, brushing her torso against my chest. Her eyes squeeze shut, she’s stopped kissing me back, nails scratching down my back. Chanting my name, squeezing my cock, I encourage her. “Come all over me, Saylor.”
She can’t answer me, gasping for air, exhaling my name, her body shakes from her orgasm. I push her legs farther, rising on my knees and filling her deeper, thrusting harder. Her eyes snap to mine, and I smirk as I watch her smile light up her face. I pull all the way out before I drive into her, continuously praying I don’t bruise her from the grip my hands have on her legs. Feeling my balls tighten, sparks down my spine, I shout her name as I come…hard. Falling over her, trying to hold some of my weight with my arms, I feel her heart pounding against my chest, my cock pulsing inside of her. I feel her arms circle my neck, pulling my face to hers. I kiss her as softly as I can, allowing our heart rates to slow. Easing out of her, I roll us to the side and stare into those gorgeous orbs. I have to catch my breath with the serene smile. I’ve seen happy Saylor. I’ve seen snappy Saylor. But seeing peaceful Saylor for the first time—it’s breathtaking.
Rubbing my fingers along her jaw, I whisper, “Stay.”
“Just tonight.” Just like that, the euphoria I felt was diminished. I see what she’s doing, and she needs to realize how wrong she is. I make quick work of the condom and drop it in the wastebasket by my bedside before leaning over her.
“Not working for me.”
“I know this was a one time thing, Deacon.”
“Again, that doesn’t work for me
. Just go to sleep, Saylor. You’ll need it when I wake you up with my lips on your pussy about to fill you with my cock.”
“But—”
“Sleep.” Her annoyance is evident, and I know she wants to argue, so I fill her mouth with my tongue and calm her down. Once she’s lost in bliss, I pull back, tug her close, and listen to her breathing even out. Kissing her head, I close my eyes and drift off easily. Too easily.
I wake to an empty bed. Cold sheets. And a note on the pillow.
Deacon,
Julie woke up about 3:30 – you were asleep, so I heated a bottle from the fridge. She went right back to sleep.
Saylor
Glancing at the clock, I know my princess will be waking up soon. It’s almost seven, and she’ll be starved. I’m pissed at the note . . . it’s so cold, and after the heat last night, she could have given me something. She should have been next to me.
The fact she got up with my little girl warms me, though. I’ve never allowed anyone other than my parents to care for Julie, but with Saylor it’s different. I know being a freshman in college and a dad is weird; her reaction to finding out Julie was my daughter was an act we’ll be practicing over and over. Her shield fell, and she was free . . . admiration, awe, bewilderment all flashed across her face, in her eyes before she jumped me. I’ll delve into that later—for now real life calls.
Distracting myself with Julie’s care doesn’t lessen the void I feel without Saylor . . . one night in my bed, and I’m craving more. Dressing Julie for the slight chill, I walk the two yards to her door—I’m going to demand an answer as to why she disappeared this morning.
Lee Lee is sitting on the couch channel surfing; the house is immaculate, and I know that’s my girl’s doing—yes, I do mean my girl. “Ju-Ju,” Lee Lee crones to my daughter, taking her from me. I let my friends handle her, but relinquishing her to their care is something else all together. Julie stares at her while Lee Lee fusses over her.
“Saylor in her room?”
“I think.” I reach for Julie and pluck her from her arms and without another word head to confront this situation. I don’t bother knocking. Her head is propped against a mound of pillows, and she’s lost in her own world. She has a notebook open, pen hovering above it while ‘T-Shirt’ by Thomas Rhett plays softly. I take in her tiny frame and see she took a souvenir from last night . . . my t-shirt. I discarded it after putting Julie down, and I watch as she sniffs the collar. Julie’s cooing mixed with my chuckle draws her attention to where I’m standing – taking her in. “Hey.” I smile at her.
Her cheeks are red, her eyes close, and she says, “I’m mortified.”
“I have that effect on women,” I joke. “Smell away,” I tell her as I step closer.
“It’s kind of perfect. You and Julie mixed. Baby and manly.” She still won’t look at me.
“Why’d you leave?” I sit on her bed, switching Julie to my shoulder.
“I wanted to get back here before anyone realized I was gone. Didn’t think you wanted a sleepover.”
“I remember telling you to sleep. Most sane people would think that’s what I wanted.”
“You don’t make me feel sane.” Her eyes widen in shock, and she groans as she throws her head back on her pillows. “You can leave anytime.”
“Go to dinner with me tonight?” I’ll have to arrange for my parents to keep Julie for a bit, but I’ll manage.
“Deacon, you already got the goods, you don’t need to feed me.”
I’m taken aback. “Saylor, I didn’t get the goods I’m after. Be ready at six, and dress nice.” I refuse to give her a chance to come up with excuses. I don’t glance back as I walk out. This girl is going to drive me insane.
I’m staring at his backside—a fine one—shocked he still wants to see me. His head pops back in. “Don’t worry about Alec. I’m handling it.” And poof he’s gone.
I’m like a ping-pong ball. He still wants a date after fucking me last night. He thinks he has a right to handle Alec. He’s hot. He’s demanding. He’s off-limits. That’s what it boils down to me. He’s unavailable. He’s a dad. I’m not looking for a relationship. I can’t get involved and risk Julie getting hurt when it falls apart . . . someone always leaves. It’s just natural. Once upon a time, I believed there was one person for everyone, then I turned eleven and life taught me otherwise.
Goals are good to have. Work hard to achieve them. Dreams are like fairytales—nonexistent. I look to my ceiling, and I’m not surprised when it doesn’t give me the answers I’m seeking. Maybe because I don’t know what questions I’m asking.
Avery and Lee Lee bombard my space, talking over one another.
“Did he just ask you out?”
“What are you wearing?”
“When did this happen?”
“I’m so excited.”
I stare at both of them and see nothing but happiness and excitement bursting from them.
“Saylor, get up and get ready. He’s picking you up in a few hours.” I glare at Lee Lee. It doesn’t take any normal person hours to get ready. Wait, didn’t she warn me off of him?
“I’m not going.”
“The hell you say?” Avery tosses my turquoise lingerie set on my bed. This girl doesn’t understand personal space or privacy. I grab them and shove them under my pillow as she busts a gut laughing at me.
“Didn’t you tell me I shouldn’t fall for him?” Avery glares at Lee Lee.
“That was before I saw him this morning. I’ll warn you. Deacon wants you, and he gets what he wants. All the guys do.” She stares at my comforter and whispers, “I was wrong. You should go with him.”
Avery huffs, “You need to decide where your loyalty is. Adriane walked away from everyone, including her child. The stars in your eyes are skewed.”
“I know.” Lee Lee meets my eyes. “I have the perfect dress for you to wear.”
I stare at her and shake my head. “You’re tiny. No way in hell will anything you have fit me.”
“Now it’s you with skewed perception. Girl, you’re gorgeous, and he’s taking you to Chester’s.” That means nothing to me.
“And?”
“It’s dressy.”
“How expensive is it?” I cringe inwardly, knowing I’m dipping into my spending money. I try to not to spend my mad money; you don’t know what can happen.
“Aw, that’s cute.” Avery grins at me.
“What?” I glance around the room. Is there a puppy here?
“You think you have to pay. It’s a date. He pays. With him you’ll have a fight on your hands—one you’ll lose if you challenge that.”
Shit! I’m coming up with more protests when the front door slams into the drywall. “They’ve got to quit being barbarians.” I roll my eyes, knowing it’s Mason or Caden—or both.
“Shortstop, care to tell us why my ass just got chewed and my dick threatened?” Mason and Caden’s huge bodies fill my doorway.
“Uh, you were drunk last night and didn’t look at what you brought home? I hope you wrapped it.”
Mason smirks. “Oh, I know what I brought home. I banged her like a screen door in a hurricane.” He gestures to Lee Lee, and she rolls her eyes.
“You didn’t say that!” I don’t understand their arrangement, but it works for them.
Caden is by my side. “I can’t believe you didn’t find us.” He’s lifting up my arm and inspecting it, drawing the attention of three other sets of eyes. Avery scoots under his arm and gasps. Lee Lee climbs over Mason and is sitting next to me. Mason is shooting daggers at my arm, and I feel the heat radiating from Caden.
“Y’all were busy.” I try and pull my arm back, but he won’t let go.
“Talk.” I stare at him because he’s lost his mind. “Shortstop, I have a best friend who is ready to find Alec and kill him. I promised him we’d get to the bottom of it. He has a kid to raise, and I don’t want him in prison.”
“Oh.” I exhale, taken aback at the intensity he’
s putting off.
“Oh. Now talk.” Mason is crowding me on the bed.
I turn to Mason, “You saved me at the last party.” He nods.
“You had bruises the next day,” Caden points out.
“I’m not defending him, but I bruise easy. He was a bit feely and can’t take a hint, but Mason handled it.” Caden scoffs. “Last night he wouldn’t leave me alone. Every time I would dodge his advance he came back a bit more forcefully. I thought I lost him when he went to the bathroom. I went to lock myself in my room, and he must have seen me and blocked the door from shutting.” I shudder; I realize I’m lucky.
Mason and Caden both growl. Fucking animals. Lee Lee is staring at my arm, and Avery is pacing. “He pushed me back in my room, and I tried to avoid the bed. He picked me up and tossed me backwards. I scrambled off the other side to escape, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the bed. That’s how it happened. His nails dug into the skin, and he wouldn’t let go as I pulled away. I screamed, and it stunned him long enough for me to run.”
“And you went to Deacon’s.” They know. Shit. Avery and Lee Lee stare at me.
“Yes.”
“You should have found us.”
“It was a party. I had no idea where you were, and I can protect myself.” Caden lifts my arm in front of my face. I roll my eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Let’s go.” Caden nods to Mason.
“Mason.” Lee Lee grabs his hand. “Careful.” Her tone is soft, and he nods.
“Where are they going?”
“To find Alec.” Both Avery and Lee Lee seem fine with that scenario. I’m not.
“They’ll get in trouble.” Avery shrugs and Lee Lee laughs.
“You haven’t seen them in action. Deacon would join them if it weren’t for Julie. They fight. They win. They aren’t troublemakers and don’t start it. This crossed a line with them, and Alec will deal with the repercussions.” Nonchalant as hell. I’m not comfortable with this.
Playing Fate (Endgame Series Book 1) Page 5