HeartFast

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HeartFast Page 2

by Linda Mooney


  …Vandrath. Pair number eight … Ovella Weslitt and…

  From the corner of his eye Hunter caught Star shifting in her seat. She crossed her legs, and from his vantage point he could see the long, lean line of her calf and booted foot. Despite her bravado, despite the fact that she often came back with a smartass answer every time she was chewed out for something she’d mishandled, and despite the fact that she put on a very nonchalant air to her fellow caste members, Hunter always suspected the true StarLight remained buried from prying eyes. She was damn good at her job. Screw that. She was better than good. She rivaled Bruiser and Condemner when it came to sheer ability.

  …Collan Forbes. Pair number thirteen…

  Hunter knew he secretly nursed a private wish to get to know her better. It was almost a fond desire to be close friends. Maybe closer than friends. Once, he tried to block any further ideas from his mind. Guardians were like an enlarged family with multiple siblings. Not that there hadn’t been any romantic interests developed in the past. There had been, but those had quickly died back into a comfortable working companionship. The few Guardians who eventually married had found their mates outside of the enclosed group, not among those they practically lived and worked with every day of the year. It was easier that way, he had been told several months ago. Nothing could be more dangerous or distracting for a Guardian involved in a life or death struggle than to have to worry about a spouse equally in danger.

  Guardians were comrades. They relied on each other. Trust was their greatest strength. And although Hunter knew Star would readily give up her life to save any one of them if she needed to, that didn’t stop him from dreaming of a time when they could have a quiet walk together in the botanical gardens and just talk about things. Things like their past. Their families. Anything, as long as it didn’t involve what they did on the job, or any one of the thousand problems they dealt with day in and day out.

  Pair number nineteen … Satall Tru and Vista Forde. And finally, pair number twenty…

  The Committee Chairman paused to nervously lick his lips. The act instantly had Hunter sitting on the edge of his seat. Around him the others had ceased to breathe as they also leaned forward. The Chairman never paused like this. He never stopped to glance nervously aside. And he never looked as if he was contemplating the impact of his next words. But at that moment Hunter could see that the man’s face had gone a shade just short of doughy as he swallowed hard and read the last pair of names from his list.

  Terrin Dilyric and Udo Vosstien. Remember you have three days to report to the Hall of Magistrates for the Handfasting ceremony, or be held in contempt and face possible banishment. This announcement is now closed.

  The screen went blank but the silence that filled the hall thickened to the point of choking. It was as if an unseen presence reached into the room and began to throttle every person sitting in total shock.

  Somehow Hunter’s eyes locked onto the form seated four chairs away. His entire body refused to respond, unable to pull itself out of the frozen void encasing him. From a distance a high-pitched shriek tore into his ears, and Star slid from her seat to collapse onto the floor.

  Beside him Deceiver breathed aloud the words he would remember for the rest of his life. “By all that is holy … StarLight and Master Hunter? HandFasted? Oh, damn them! Who gave the Committee the right to put our names in the lottery?”

  Hunter was vaguely aware of how hard he was gripping the table. All of his blood seemed to have rushed out of his body until he felt he would pass out at any moment from the enormity of what he had just heard.

  And he had heard it. They all had. It wasn’t a trick of his imagination. Neither was it a cruel joke. No wonder the Committee Chairman had nervously licked his lips before announcing the last pair of names. The Committee had breached that barrier no man dared to cross before. In all the centuries that had passed since their world had suffered through the gaseous nebula, in all the years there had been Guardians, the lottery had always exempted its defenders. But that was to be no more.

  Hunter managed to take a shaky breath. Even as his heart continued to pound, it felt as if his blood was pooling into his stomach where it churned nauseously. If he got to his feet he doubted he would be able to remain standing.

  Today not one but two Guardians were condemned to the impersonal answer to the survival of their people. Two of them, he and StarLight, would be HandFasted for the length of one year for the sole purpose of procreation.

  Deep, wrenching sobs came from the black-clad woman bent over on the floor. Morning Fire hovered over her closest friend and tried to console her, but nearly everyone’s eyes were turned on him. Accusing eyes. Expectant eyes. Provoker sat back with a big grin on his face. Bruiser paled in shock as Hunter knew he would. The expression on the big man’s face was like that of a small child who had seen his favorite toy crushed beyond recognition. Everyone was aware that the giant had placed Star on a pedestal the first time she had saved his hide from the Turaki Abevians. And since then he adored her with undisguised passion.

  Remember you have three days to report to the Hall of Magistrates for the HandFasting Ceremony, or be held in contempt and face possible banishment.

  Hunter tried swallowing but his throat remained hot and tight. There would be no leniency from the Committee. No asking for an exemption. No changing their minds. Heavens knew enough people had tried in the past. The Law was the Law, and it was absolute.

  Worse still, it was his life and duty to uphold those same laws that had suddenly made his future a total mockery of all he once believed in.

  Unable to bear another second inside the room, Master Hunter winked out of existence, removing himself from their sight as he used his power to teleport himself directly to his private chambers. If the team was smart, they wouldn’t try to approach him for the remainder of the day. And if Deceiver had any news to impart, or assignments to pass out to them at the meeting, at that moment Hunter couldn’t care less. He just needed to get away from their stares.

  It was difficult enough not to think about what the coming year would mean.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter 2

  Waiting

  She heard a tentative knocking on her chamber door, but she refused to acknowledge it. Without her reply, the room would not let the visitor enter. No matter. Star didn’t want visitors anyway.

  “Star? Please. You’ll feel better if you talk about it.”

  Damn her, but Star knew her close friend was right. More often than not, whenever she was besieged by a problem, she knew that talking it out always gave her a sense of serenity. And sometimes she was able to figure out a reasonable solution.

  Unfortunately, this would not be one of those times.

  “Go away, Fire.”

  “Don’t do this, Star. I know it’s tearing you up inside.”

  She tried to sigh, but it came out as more of a hitching breath, restricted from the tears she’d shed. Too tired to argue, she gave the door permission to open, but she kept her back to the portal, keeping to the small ball she’d drawn herself into on the bed. Presently the edge of the mattress dipped as her friend took a seat beside her, and a small hand began to rub her back.

  “Talk to me, Star,” Morning Fire begged softly. Star could hear the remnants of the woman’s own crying in her voice.

  “Damn them all,” Star replied low and heatedly. “Does anyone else besides me see the irony in this?”

  “Irony?”

  “Yeah.” She laughed softly, humorlessly. “When I became a Guardian, I swore an oath to uphold the laws … and now all I can think about is how to break them.”

  “You’re not going to try … are you, Star?” the petite woman broached fearfully. She knew all too well her friend’s wild and reckless nature, but she couldn’t believe the woman would go so far as to press the Committee’s hand into banishing her from the planet for not obeying the laws of HandFast. To her immense relief, Star shook her hea
d.

  “What would be the use? My life is here. My home is here. Guardian Command was and still is my only dream in life. Who knows, Fire? Maybe I won’t conceive after the end of the year, and things will go back to the way they were.”

  “But what if you do?” The question hung heavy with the possibility.

  Star gave a feeble shrug of one shoulder. “I can’t think about that right now. A baby.” Her voice trailed away, but not before Morning Fire caught the shadow of wistfulness in it.

  “Have you ever thought about having a baby?” she asked gently. Reaching up, she pulled back a handful of the thick, glorious mass of hair so she could at least see her friend’s profile facing away from her.

  “Yeah. I mean, what woman hasn’t? But not like this. Not this … cold … damned, impersonal lottery crap. I want a husband, a man who loves me so much that I feel giddy and helpless and completely in his control. And I want to have his baby, created from all that love.”

  A shudder ran through her. Involuntarily, Star drew her knees up closer to her body. A cool hand caressed the side of her face.

  “You’re not going to like what I’m about to say,” Morning Fire began hesitantly, “but you know I’ve always told you how I felt. Yes, the lottery is unfair. And cold. And impersonal. But you’re luckier than most.”

  This time Star rolled over to give her a friend an incredulous look. “What do you mean, I’m luckier? Where do you get off giving me such crap?”

  “Look, Star. Stop and think for a moment.” Morning Star began to tick the reasons off her fingers. “Less than forty percent of the population is ranked superior. That means that fewer than four out of ten women can even have a baby. For us to be in that small percentage is a blessing in itself. Just think of all the women who want a child but can’t, or aren’t allowed.

  “Two … Master Hunter’s not a perfect stranger. You’ve known him for two years. You’ve fought side-by-side, you’ve saved each other’s butts more than once, and you’ve seen each other at your best and worst.”

  “He’s my co-worker, for heaven’s sake!” Star almost yelled back. “I’m supposed to work with him! What’s that going to be like now, huh? How am I supposed to face him in the morning after we’ve been spending the night…” Her face suddenly went stark white as a mental image of her next words flared in her mind. Without realizing it, Star grabbed a pillow and shoved it against her abdomen, and curled back around it as her friend shushed and tried to console her.

  “What I meant to say was that he’s not a total stranger. Think of the women who’ve only been given three days to know the man they have to give their bodies to, knowing they may be stuck with him for a full year.” Tucking a long length of curls behind her friend’s ear, Morning Fire smiled. “Who knows … you may not have to go the full year.”

  Rolling her eyes at that bit of information, Star groaned loudly and hugged her pillow tighter.

  Not go the full year. If she conceived before the year was up, that would automatically release her from the HandFast. Her job would then be to deliver a strong and healthy child, hopefully a superior-rated child, and thus ensure the survival of their people.

  “Give me another reason why I’m so damned lucky,” she snapped hotly.

  “You’ll still be living here at Command. You both have your own chambers. You won’t be forced to cohabitate like so many couples must.” Taking a deep breath, Morning Fire added, “And you have us to support you.”

  Long minutes passed as the two women remained in quiet companionship, while outside they could hear the busy comings and goings of the city. Presently, Star softly asked, “What are the others saying?”

  Morning Fire let out a long sigh. “We’re appalled. Except for Provoker. Just once I’d like the chance to wipe that smirk off his face.” She gave a worried stare into Star’s face. “Star, you’re not the only one who is feeling devastated and betrayed.”

  Slowly, Star nodded. “Yeah. I bet Bruiser is pretty well down in the dumps right now.”

  “I’m not talking about Bruiser. I meant Hunter.”

  Star shot her a dark look. Nodding, Morning Fire continued. “Have you ever stopped to think of how he’s feeling? Have you even given a moment’s thought as to what might be going through his head right about now?”

  “Some friend you are! I’m the one who has to be the bank! He just has to make a daily deposit!”

  “He has to make as great an emotional and physical commitment as you do! Perhaps even more!” Morning Star argued angrily.

  Bolting upright in the bed, Star pressed her lips together as she tried to contain the bitter words she wanted to say. “Oh, really? How do you figure that?”

  “At least you get to care for the baby! You get to nourish it in your body. You get to feel it growing. And afterwards you get to nurse it, and love on it, and you’ll always have that attachment to it for the rest of his or her life. But Hunter … once the HandFast is absolved, do you know what the laws do? They restrict him, just like they restrict all HandFasted fathers.”

  “I thought all HandFasted fathers didn’t care what happened to their progeny. After all, it was never their decision in the first place to procreate. And the laws make it clear that once they’ve fulfilled their obligation, they are no longer bound or even required to acknowledge the child as their own,” Star replied. But the venom had faded from her voice.

  Reaching out, Morning Fire took both of her hands in her own. “You know, as we all do, that there have been a few, rare cases where the HandFasting couples have decided to remain together and keep the child. Stop and think, Star. Think about Hunter. About what we’ve seen and know about him. Do you honestly think he would abandon any child of his seed?”

  “Hunter doesn’t love me. At least, not like that,” Star wearily accepted as fact.

  “Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t care about his baby.” She gave her friend’s hands a squeeze. “I know you too well, Star. This whole mess has you terrified. But what I think frightens you more is the possibility that you’ll fall so helplessly in love with your baby that you won’t be able to give it up.”

  She could feel Star’s hands trembling in her grasp. Without warning, the woman had launched herself into her friend’s embrace, where a fresh torrent of tears shuddered out of her.

  As the sun dipped below the horizon, and the velvet canopy of the night sky unfurled overhead, Morning Fire tried to soothe the woman who had become the sister she’d never had in real life. It would be a long while before she left the chambers after Star had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep.

  In the hours after Morning Fire had left, Star lay in bed and thought back on what had been said. Fire had been right to remind her about Master Hunter’s feelings. The man would not be impervious to this ordeal. He was just as much a pawn of the Committee as she was. He would suffer equally under the laws of the HandFast.

  In these past two years she had come to know the man almost as well as all the other Guardian men. And the one thing that had set him apart from some of the others was that he was always withdrawn, as if he was keeping a large part of himself hidden away from them. Like a secret he couldn’t or was afraid to reveal.

  Men wore their hearts and emotions on the front of their uniforms. They were like Bruiser, large, infatuated, open-faced, but so sweet and sincere. Except for a few, like Provoker, who delighted in pushing everyone’s buttons. But that was the man, and he couldn’t help himself. It was like he couldn’t completely shut off his power. Just turn it down to a trickle at best.

  Rolling out of bed, Star threw a soft gown over her bare skin, and left her chambers. One of her favorite places was the atrium and botanical gardens, which were less than a five-minute walk away. She could sit for hours at a time and just think, or let the heady perfume of the place keep her from thinking. But at that moment she wanted to escape. Get away from the reality of the day’s events.

  The chronometer inside the small foyer told he
r it was the middle of the night, but the atrium was never closed. It was on Guardian property, and one of the many truly safe places to roam at night in the city.

  This late at night she saw one lone couple strolling at the far end of the huge enclosure. Quickly, Star descended the short staircase and sought out the private little alcove she always went to when she wanted solitude. A year ago she’d placed a tiny bench inside, and the surrounding foliage effectively hid her from sight. Very few people, if any, knew of the cavity inside.

  Once she pushed aside the enormous leaves, Star could feel her tension draining away. The bench was padded; the air inside the atrium was warm and rich with the scent of growing life. Closing her eyes, she leaned back against the bole of the huge sciatta tree. If she fell asleep here, it would be a blessing.

  Her ears caught the whispers and giggles of the couple passing close by. Their happiness sent a spear of pain into her heart, and a single tear threatened to spill from under her lids. They were the lucky ones. The ones who had found the one person in their lives they wanted to share forever with. And if they were truly blessed, both of them would be rated superior, which would enable them to have a child whenever they were ready and wanting one.

  They would never be forced to procreate. They would never have to subject themselves to a total stranger in order to fulfill an edict sent down eons ago.

  Eons ago, after their world had passed through the poisonous nebula that had killed millions of people, and permanently rendered more than half the remaining population unable to bear healthy children.

  Couples paired off, but she had read that it took a while for doctors and scientists to discover why some babies survived, and why others were born so horribly deformed that they rarely lived more than a few years. Once the genetic coding was formulated, it was easier to track which children would be safely born, and which would not. A man or woman with a superior genetic coding guaranteed the survival of their species. But a person who may have been born of superior parents may not carry that same genetic coding. If he or she didn’t, then they would not be permitted to reproduce. And even if they tried anyway, their offspring never survived past the age of two or three. After several generations, those without a superior rating no longer tried to see if they could beat the odds.

 

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