Margaret gasped and thought her knees would give way as he pressed her against the wall. He pulled away long enough to run the towel over his thick, dark hair and over his body, dumping it on the ground before lifting her in his arms and carrying her to bed, which was a rumpled mess. He set her down with her wet hair on the pillow and moved on top of her.
She instantly moved her legs apart, and he moved his hand between them, touching her and watching her. She took in his expression, which was on fire for her. She ran her hands over his wide, broad shoulders, his perfectly sculpted chest. There was no beer gut on this man, and he had a set of abs. She wondered what he did to keep himself in such good shape. He guided her legs around his waist and leaned over her.
She felt him, so close, entering her slowly. He held himself still, and she said, “Joe, I’m not on birth control.” She gasped.
He clenched his teeth and then smiled as he moved and said, “Yeah, I figured as much.” He moved again. “I don’t plan on letting it matter.”
“Joe,” she said, right before he set his mouth on hers and deepened the kiss. He moved faster, and she couldn’t hold back as he moved again, becoming a part of her and touching her in a way no other man ever had. She screamed out his name as she felt herself lose control and tumble completely over the edge.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Joe woke with the light streaming in the bedroom window and a woman draped half over him. Margaret was sound asleep, and he smiled at how many times they each had awoken during the night. He’d made love to her three times. The last time, he had set her on top of him and let her ride as he played with her breasts, which he’d pictured a hundred times in his head. He had never imagined they would be this perfect.
He ran his hand over her head, and she groaned, running her own hand over his chest and lower. “Hey, good morning,” he said.
She blinked and looked up him with a lazy contentedness he’d never seen in her eyes before. She rested her chin on his chest and took a deep breath. “We should go see Ryan,” she said.
He ran his hand over her dark, tangled hair, just watching her. When she sucked in her lower lip nervously, he could tell she was starting to pull away.
“We will,” he said, running his hand over her back and down lower. “Are you sore?”
He smiled when she blushed, and he rolled her over, the sheets tangling around them. His cell phone buzzed, and he dropped his head and groaned, “Great timing.”
“Go answer it, Joe,” Margaret urged him. “It could be important.”
Joe slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom, where his clothes were still in a heap on the floor. He pulled the cell phone from his pocket. “Yeah?” he said.
“It’s Logan. Just checking to see if you got lost.”
Joe didn’t miss the hint of mischief in his brother’s voice. “How’s Ryan?” he asked. He could hear the bed squeak and then Margaret’s footsteps on the floor.
“He’s wondering what happened to his dad. He’s kind of worried. I think he believes you may have taken off and married that blonde who left her handprint on your face.”
Joe heard the floor squeak behind him and watched as Margaret tied a blue housecoat closed. “Tell him I’m with Margaret and we’ll be up soon.”
“Oh,” his brother said with a chuckle. “Sorry to wake you.”
Joe hung up and noticed the blush rise on Margaret’s face as he stood naked in her house in front of her. He stepped closer to her. “Ready to go see Ryan?”
She smiled with such shyness that he wanted to laugh at her. “Just need to feed the horses first, and you need to get some clean clothes,” she said, setting her hand playfully on his chest.
He set his over hers, pulling her closer. “I do, so I guess we’d best hurry,” he agreed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her, giving her a proper good-morning kiss.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Joe walked hand in hand with Margaret into the hospital. He didn’t miss the way she had tensed the closer they got or the way she seemed to be sweating as they stepped through the doors. He was positive that at one time, she would have been as comfortable here as he was on his spread, milling lumber. “You okay?” he asked, looking down at her and squeezing her hand as she leaned closer to him.
“Yeah. You know, it’s silly,” she said. She darted a quick glance at him and then away, and although she tried, she couldn’t hide her discomfort from him.
“It’s not silly. It was a pretty big deal, Margaret, and it gutted you, so give yourself a break.”
He saw the lump in her throat move as she swallowed and blinked rapidly. He pulled her into his arms when he reached the elevator bank and punched the button, kissing the top of her head and just holding her while she trembled and then took a deep breath, seeming to pull herself together.
When the elevator doors opened, he put his arm around her and walked her in. She looked so cute with her dark hair in a ponytail. He could see the freckles on her nose, and he loved that she didn’t have a stitch of makeup on. With her complexion, she didn’t need it.
The elevator dinged on the second floor, and the door opened. Two doctors stepped in, and Joe could feel Margaret stiffen, so he tightened his arm around her, squeezing her shoulder. She glanced his way but didn’t look at him. A short ride later, on the third floor, he nudged her out of the elevator.
She took a deep breath. “So which room is Ryan in?” she asked.
“The first room, right here.” He went to push open the door, his arm still around Margaret, when she slid around and set her hand on his chest, looking up at him.
“Joe, what are we going to tell Ryan?” she said.
For a minute, she looked a little panicked, and he wanted to laugh until he felt her hand shaking again on his chest. “It’ll be fine. Relax,” he said. “What are you worried about?”
“Well, last Ryan knew, you were marrying Sara. Did you tell him it was off? Although he likes me, how do you think he’s going to react?” She was looking at him with wide eyes and a helpless expression.
“I think you’re not giving my kid enough credit. I think this is exactly what he needs to hear. We’re together now. He’ll be happy.”
“Well, maybe we should talk first about exactly what this ‘together’ looks like,” she said.
What the hell was she doing? They had already settled this, so why was she stirring things up? For a minute, he was positive she was so bent on self-destruction that she was deliberately trying to start a fight with him. “What are you doing? We’ve already settled this. I love you, and you love me. End of story, or is there something more? Have you decided that a struggling millworker who takes jobs here and there to make ends meet isn’t enough for you? I’m not a rich man. My bank balance the end of each month is close to zero. I’ve learned to fix things myself because I don’t have money to throw around. Maybe we should have talked about that.”
She moved back, pulling her hand away as if he had slapped her. She firmed her lips and set her jaw, and there was a spark in her eyes that let him know she was now good and mad. “I’m not some moneygrubber. I don’t care if you have nothing. Money is nice, but it’s not what drives me or what I’m looking for, and it can’t make you happy.”
“That’s interesting you would say that, considering I watched you and your mother fighting over just that thing, good ol’ money, the day you buried your grandfather,” he said. He wanted to take it back right away.
“What?” she said. Before she could add anything else, Ryan’s door opened and Logan gave him a look as if he’d heard everything.
“Ryan’s been waiting for you two. Hey, Margaret, how’re you feeling?” he said.
She seemed to need a minute to pull herself together. She shook her head, glanced down the hallway, and then into the room at Ryan. She gave Joe her back and said to Logan, “I’m fine, just a little sore, but I’ll be good as new in a few days. I never got a chance to thank you for coming to help me. I
don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up when you did. Thanks for looking after the horses, too.”
Logan gave her one of his flirty smiles and winked at her, and Joe wanted to pop him one. “You’re welcome, but I’m pretty sure you would have made it. You’re a capable woman. Haven’t seen too many with the grit and determination you have. I admire that. I was just glad I could help a lovely lady like you.”
Joe felt her instantly soften to Logan, and he wanted to reach over and shake his brother. Didn’t he realize Margaret was his?
“Hey, Ryan. How are you feeling, honey?” Margaret said, ducking under Logan’s arm and going to Ryan’s side.
When Joe tried to step into the room, Logan blocked his way. “We could hear you two arguing. What gives?” he said.
Joe was still mad at his big brother, still irritated with Margaret and his own inability to check his mouth. What could ever have possessed him to say what he did? “She’s not available,” he said, jabbing his finger into his brother’s chest.
Logan allowed a teasing smile to touch his lips. “Oh, man, are you in trouble,” he said. He stepped back, but before Joe could step past him, he said, “Word of advice, there, little brother. If you want this woman, you need to respect her. What I heard of that little bit,” he shook his head, “that was really stupid.”
Joe growled and stepped around his brother. Ryan’s gaze immediately went from Margaret to him. His face was still pale, with some bruising on his forehead and cheek. Margaret was reading the chart and ignoring Joe. “How are you feeling this morning?” he asked.
“Sore—and hungry. Dad, when are they going to let me have some real food?”
Margaret seemed to be satisfied with what she had read and closed up the chart. She set it back at the foot of the bed. “I’ll talk to them. I don’t see why you can’t have something today. What do you want?”
“I want a burger, fries, a milkshake…” he started as his eyes got big and hopeful.
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen, Ryan,” Margaret said. “You had a major trauma. They’ll probably let you have something solid and move off Jell-O today.” She didn’t look at Joe, and he noticed how she moved to the other side of the bed, away from him.
“Ryan, I wanted to apologize,” Joe started, and Margaret’s gaze became worried as she watched him, obviously nervous about what he was going to say. “Sara and I aren’t getting married. I shouldn’t have asked her, and I did it only because I thought you needed a mother. That wasn’t fair of me.”
“I don’t need a mother. Are you still dating her?” Ryan added.
“No. We’re done. You won’t be seeing her again.”
He breathed a sigh of relief, and then he looked worried again. “But you’re still dating. Are you going to look for someone else online?”
“No, my online days are over,” Joe said, watching as Margaret rolled her eyes. Well, what did she expect him to say?
“Well, that’s good,” Ryan said.
“What if I met someone you really like?” Joe began. He watched the way Ryan looked away as if disappointed, expecting the worst. What if he’d been wrong? He knew Ryan liked Margaret a lot, but maybe he wasn’t ready for his father to date at all. For a minute, Joe relived the choice he had made, leaving Margaret alone with the horses as he hopped into the chopper with his son. It was a choice he never thought he’d have to make again.
“You know what, Ryan?” Margaret set her hand on his arm before Joe could say another word. “I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about your dad bringing someone home any time soon.”
Ryan looked to her with relief, and then he said, “Is Storm okay?”
Margaret gave Joe a warning glance, and Joe rocked back on his heels. He couldn’t believe Ryan wasn’t jumping up and down, excited that he and Margaret were together. It sickened him when he realized his son held the power to come between him and Margaret.
“Storm is fine. He’s not hurt. But, Ryan, that was a very foolish thing to do. You could have been killed, and this isn’t just about the fact that you took off on Storm, who you had no business riding. You took off in the dead of night, in circumstances that had you running on pure emotion. Didn’t we go over this? How did you get him saddled, anyway, without me hearing?”
Ryan flushed, and it was the first bit of color Joe had seen in his face since the accident. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I was mad, and I was tired of listening to Dad and Sara in his room. It hurt that he had picked her over me.”
Joe felt himself reeling, and he had the good grace to blush. He felt Logan watching him, and when he glanced over and shrugged, his brother shook his head as if he should have known better.
“I didn’t think, I just snuck in. I was scared, but I saddled him, remembering how you were with him. You didn’t let your fear show, and I tried to do what you did. I only thought about leaving. I didn’t think of where I was going, just rode and rode for hours, and I fell off when Storm spooked. All I could think about was that I didn’t think Dad loved me.” He sounded so hurt that Joe wondered what he had done to make his son believe that.
“Ryan, are you kidding me?” Joe barked. “I would choose you over any woman. I’ll stay alone forever if that’s what you want. You’re more important to me. How could you even think that?”
Margaret stepped back and shoved her hands in her pockets. She wouldn’t look at him.
Ryan turned his head toward his dad, his pillow rustling. He frowned as if trying to figure out what his dad was saying. “You really mean it?” he said.
Joe looked at Margaret again and had a sinking feeling she believed he’d just tossed her to the curb. In fact, that was exactly what he had just done, and he couldn’t seem to get out from under how badly he was messing this up.
“Ryan, listen, what I really want you to know…”
“Dad, you didn’t mean it, did you?” Ryan said. His son really didn’t believe in him.
Joe leaned over, setting his hand on the pillow beside him. “You listen to me. I meant it. If I date again, you’ll get a say. You want me alone, you just say so.”
Ryan firmed his lips and said, “Dad, do you think for a while you could stay off all those dating sites, take your profile down, and not date anyone?”
Joe watched the uncertainty in his son’s eyes and knew this would be a make-or-break moment with him. He loved him, and all the happiness he had felt moments ago with Margaret seemed to slip through his fingers as if everything had suddenly turned to dust.
When he looked up, Margaret had stepped away and was looking out the window of the hospital room as if lost in thought. He also knew he couldn’t take one step toward her or touch her right now. His brother stood at the foot of the bed, looking from Margaret to him and back to Ryan, and he opened his mouth as if to say something but didn’t.
“Ryan, I just wanted to come by and see how you are,” Margaret said. “I want you to get some rest. I’ll leave you and your dad here to spend time together. Remember what I said about Storm. You need to really think about whether you’re up to the challenge with him. He’s not an easy horse, and he’ll never be easy.”
“But you’ll help me, right? You’re still going to work with Storm, aren’t you?” Ryan asked, sounding so hopeful.
“Ryan, when you get out of here and you’re feeling better, we’ll talk more about that,” she said. She patted his arm, and with the way she looked down on him in those few seconds, Joe wondered how he’d missed her feelings for his son. The woman showed every emotion on her face, in her eyes, and she really cared for Ryan. “I’m going to go,” she said.
“Are you going to come back?” Ryan asked.
Joe watched her response and could see the walls she had continually stuck up around herself. They were stronger than ever, but this was the first time they were up for Ryan. He wondered if his son picked up on it, too.
“I have things to do, Ryan, a lot of messes to clean up after looking for you.
You just rest. I’ll see you soon,” she said. She stepped around Logan, and he darted a glance at her. Joe started after her, but she just shook her head. “No, Joe, stay. I can find my own way home.”
“I’ll take you home,” Logan piped up, holding out his hand to Joe. “Keys,” he said, and the look he gave him said loud and clear that he was an idiot and his brother had a few choice words for him. Joe watched as his brother followed the one woman he could never have out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
It had been three weeks since Ryan’s accident. For the past week, Ryan had bounced back until he was almost his old self. Today was the first day he returned to school. Logan had stayed on and spent time with Ryan, helping Joe mill wood. He had even gone to get the horses from Margaret without one word. Joe was grateful that Logan hadn’t brought up Margaret even after driving her home.
Joe had only asked once about Margaret when Logan came back to the hospital that morning. Logan had given him a hard look and said, “She’s a strong woman. She’s home safe. Leave her alone. You made your choice, and I think you’ve done enough.”
And he had, so he left her alone, but every night and every moment during the day, Margaret invaded his thoughts, leaving him short tempered and miserable.
Joe was driving home after taking Ryan to school and spending half an hour talking with his teachers, as well as the kids who were interested in the coolness of the helicopter rescue and Ryan’s near-death experience. Of course, Ryan milked the drama for all it was worth.
Every time Joe drove past the entrance to Margaret’s spread, he suffered from an unbearable ache. He couldn’t put into words that hollowed-out feeling that left him weak, a feeling of loss so deep it took everything he had to get up in the morning, the same feeling he’d had after losing Evie.
Danger Deception Devotion The Firsts Page 13