by Terra Wolf
Shoulders slumped, she went to her room to change and pack.
By eleven the next morning, the sun was shining, birds were chirping, and Laurel had to fight the urge to cry at the unfairness of such a beautiful day. She kept her head down as she made her way back to the car at the end of the block. The realtor’s office had been her last hope, but in the end, it hadn’t been an option. Just like the apartment complexes and even the rent-per-week time share office she’d visited this morning. All of them wanted a reference from Kelly. None of them were going to get it. Not after what she’d pulled last night.
God, why did she wait so long to shift every time her animal wanted out? It never ended well, and now she’d ruined the little bit of friendship she’d had with Kelly and she had to find a new place to live, effective immediately.
She’d stood outside Kelly’s door and tried reasoning with the girl one more time, but it hadn’t worked. The last thing Kelly had said to her before she’d left the apartment: “Even if you’d paid a pet deposit, you’d still be out on your ass.”
She couldn’t get the image of their trashed apartment out of her mind. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the mess she’d made.
As of this morning, she was now homeless. If she didn’t figure out something fast, she’d be sleeping in her car tonight.
Just in front of her, a bell chimed as someone exited a shop. The massive frame filled the sidewalk and Laurel pulled up short to avoid running into the person. His scent hit her at the same time she recognized the cut abdomen straining against the thin tee. She looked up at Xavier, relief washing over her for a split second before she remembered how things had ended last night. Dread crashed over her, and she looked away.
She moved to go around him, but he put his hand on her arm, and she froze, unable to move away from his touch.
“Laurel?” He said her name like it pained him, but she ignored it. She was in pain too. “What are you doing out here? I thought you’d be at work.”
She stared at her tennis shoes, the most casual pair she owned. “I called in sick today.”
His shoulders tightened. She watched as the muscles bunched and she felt the air around them change. He was worried for her. “Why? Are you ill? Did I hurt you last night? Was it something I did?”
“No, it’s nothing you did. I…” She hesitated, hyper-aware of the people passing by them and the curious glances they were already getting just by standing there.
Xavier slipped his hand underneath her elbow and led her along. “Where are we going?” she asked, but she didn’t resist. Her animal wouldn’t have let her if she tried. Even after he hurt her last night, she still wanted him. Still chose him. What an idiot to choose someone who would never put her first.
“My truck, come on,” he said, heading for the lot where she’d parked earlier. “We can talk inside.”
She let him lead her through the lot and helped her inside his jacked up Ford Raptor with the word WILDE on the license plate. Xavier climbed in beside her and waited expectantly. She faced him knowing full well what a mess she was. Her eyes were puffy from a sleepless night and too much crying. Her cheeks were probably flushed from the visit with the realtor. No make-up. She hadn’t even brushed her hair before she’d rushed out of her house. No, not her house anymore.
“I called in to work because I need to find a place to live,” she explained. “When I got home last night, I found my apartment trashed. Broken lamps, shelves overturned, dishes shattered.” She took a deep breath as Xavier’s frown grew. What would he think of her now? Not any less than she thought of herself. “I told you last night that I’d been resisting the change for a while now. Apparently, I resisted too long, and my fox went a little nuts. I shifted inside and broke a window to get out. That’s how I ended up in the woods. I didn’t even remember doing all those things. I was so out of it, so panicked when I shifted. But my roommate… she didn’t know I was a shifter. When she found out it was me, she kicked me out.”
Xavier was quiet, just listening as she vented everything, and she appreciated it. She hadn’t realized how long it had been since she had someone to just listen. “I spent today going to all the rental offices in town, but they all want a reference from my last landlord. Kelly won’t tell them about my fox, but she will tell them about the damage, and that’s enough to ruin my chances.” Desperation clawed at her as she added in a whisper, “I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“You can stay with me,” Xavier said.
Her eyes whipped to his, but she couldn’t detect a trace of teasing in him.
“Seriously?” she asked, and he nodded. “No, that’s a bad idea. Very bad. I can’t just move in with you. We had one date, Xavier. And it ended pretty awful.”
“I don’t mean with me,” he said. “I mean at the Lodge with me and the crew. We have an empty room you can use until you figure things out.”
“Oh.” Disappointment pricked at her chest. Of course, that’s what he’d meant.
“But if you wanted to stay with me, I wouldn’t stop you,” he added.
Again, panicked desire had her staring back at him with rounded eyes. “I can’t keep hiding my animal from DOT if I’m openly living with a bunch of shifters,” she said.
“Well, you can’t exactly sleep in your car. Or tell people why you got kicked out of your apartment. This sounds like it’s your best option. Your only option.”
He had a point, darn it. She bit her lip, thinking it over, and realized she had no choice. Explaining to people that she’d moved in with a houseful of shifters would be the lesser of two evils. She sighed and kneaded her temple, warding off a stress headache.
Xavier cleared his throat. “I want to say sorry for last night. We had a great time and then I really fucked it up there at the end. I didn’t mean to make it sound like it didn’t mean anything to me. I think we should start over. Again.”
Her brow rose. “Didn’t we do that already?”
He flashed a smile that had undoubtedly melted countless panties. “Third time’s the charm?”
“You told me your animal chose me and followed it up with informing me that being chosen meant I’d be second-rate to everyone else in the world.” Her temper flooded her all over again as she spit his words back at him. “That I’d never be first for you in case it meant someone else got hurt. What did you expect me to do?”
“Exactly what you did, I guess,” he grumbled. The air in the cab thickened and she wondered if he was angry with her or himself. His voice rose as he added, “It came out wrong, all right?”
“If you’re so sorry, why are you yelling at me?”
“Because you drive me insane, and I just want to kiss you to shut you up. Damn, woman, you’re killing me.” He grabbed her wrist before she could argue and pulled her across the slippery seat and into his lap. His lips curved as he brushed her hair away from her face, his fingertips trailing down her neck. “I’m beginning to think you just like to argue.”
She shivered and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Nah. I only like it when I win.”
“Win this,” Xavier said as he kissed her.
Laurel braced herself for the same rough and wild energy they’d shared last night, but Xavier’s lips were soft on hers, barely moving and never pushing for more unless she offered it. She melted slowly against him, soaking up the gentleness in him. Equals. Right now, that was what they were. She loved this side of him just as much as the alpha, she realized. Her alpha, letting her have an equal say.
For that alone, she knew, her animal’s desire to claim him had been right.
Xavier stared down at her, his gaze a tumble of wild emotions. She wondered if he felt it, the tug of energy between them. When he spoke again, his voice was rough, and she loved that he was just as affected as she was. “Come on, let’s take you to your new home.”
He started the truck, and she snuggled against him while he drove them over the mountain roads. Within minutes, the view outside her window changed f
rom storefronts and homes to nothing but forest greenery. Trees, lush and full with summer’s end, rushed by her in a blur, and she sighed in contentment.
Tomorrow at work, a mountain of paperwork and probably nosy questions from Scott awaited her. She’d never once called in sick before, and this was sure to make him wonder. On top of that, she wouldn’t be able to hide it for long that her new address matched the home address for the Wilde Crew. She didn’t even want to think about the questions that would come then. And Xavier. Whatever had happened because of his choice to stay with that girl all those years ago clearly still haunted him. And she would never settle for being second to her mate, not even if her animal had chosen him. It was a prospect that pained her to think about, so she shoved it aside.
Right then, at that moment, she was okay. That would have to be enough.
Chapter 8
Xavier stood in the dining room at his home, the Lodge, and glared at his crew. Nash stood against the far dining room wall, arms crossed, head down. Lucas was brooding in the corner—nothing new there. Jake sat at the table beside where he stood at the head position, twiddling his thumbs. And Harley was slamming around in the fridge as if making more noise would somehow produce a cold beer even faster.
No one looked at the resume lying on the center of the scarred dining room table. No one except Xavier. He glared at the name of his potential hire for the millionth time: Kyra Gold. And then he glared back at the rest of his crew.
Upstairs, he could hear the faint sounds of Laurel settling into her new room. Dresser drawers opened and closed lightly, only audible because of his bear’s heightened senses. And with his temper flaring, every damn sense was heightened.
“I didn’t figure my crew for a bunch of chauvinists,” Xavier said quietly. “Kyra’s the best candidate by far. That should be what matters.” Xavier couldn’t remember the last time his crew had pissed him off like this. Refusing a new hire because she was a woman was beneath them.
“What matters is keeping this crew intact,” Harley snapped, slamming the fridge and popping the top on his beer.
“I hate to say it, but Harley’s right,” Lucas said, shaking his head slowly. “I’ve heard it over and over again. A girl in the crew, not mated to one of us, I mean, is asking for trouble.”
Xavier gripped the chair tighter and glared at Lucas and then the rest. “This is insane. It’s the twenty-first century, guys.”
“You’re practically drooling with pheromones, man. You want that DOT chick bad, and now with your mating instincts kicking in, we’re all wondering if ours will too.” Harley said. “Thanks a fucking lot, by the way. I definitely don’t need to be walking around sexually frustrated.”
Jake’s eyes widened. “Is that what’s happening, boss? I mean, I felt something different, but I guess I just thought I missed the snow, the cold weather, ya know?”
Harley laughed, almost spewing beer. Lucas smiled but ducked his head before Jake could see.
Xavier sighed. He and Nash exchanged a look. “You can’t take it back,” Nash told him.
Xavier knew Nash meant his bear’s feelings for Laurel. He couldn’t take it back or make it go away. He was too far gone. He knew it, and because Nash had an affinity for that kind of shit, Nash knew it too.
“I think we should meet her,” Jake said.
Xavier eased his grip, surprised. “You do?”
“Yeah.” Jake looked up at Xavier. “If we all meet her, then we’ll know, right?”
“Know what?” he asked.
Jake shrugged. “That none of us wants to mate her. She can just be one of the guys.”
Xavier rolled his eyes. “That shouldn’t even be a question.”
“But it is, and you know why,” Harley said with a pointed look.
Xavier considered playing dumb, but he knew it wouldn’t get him far. His guys knew him too well. And even if they didn’t, the animal senses gave him away. “This is why you’re all worried about bringing a girl in?” Xavier asked. All four of them nodded back at him. “Shit. This is all my fault.”
“What’s all your fault?” Laurel rounded the bottom of the stairs, and every one of them clammed up and stared back her as if they’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Xavier wanted to laugh, but damn if he didn’t feel the same.
“Nothing. We’re discussing a new hire for the crew,” he said.
Laurel reached for the resume and Harley snarled. Xavier silenced him with a look.
“Kyra Gold,” Laurel read aloud. “She sounds like a bad chick. She’s the new hire?”
Xavier shot a look at the guys and then answered, “Not yet. But she’s the best choice so far.”
“Or would be if she didn’t have a vagina,” Harley muttered.
“Dude,” Nash scolded him.
Laurel’s eyes widened, and she looked at Xavier. “You’re thinking of skipping over her because she’s a woman?” she demanded.
Her tone pricked at his temper, and he straightened, making sure to let the room know he was the boss here. “I’m talking to my crew about it,” he said pointedly.
Laurel glared right back at him. “Right. Because they’re much more important than anything I have to say.”
“Uh-oh. Alpha against alpha,” Jake said under his breath.
Laurel growled at him, spun on her heel, and headed for the stairs.
Xavier ran to catch up with her. “Wait,” he said, slipping in to block her path just before she could get away.
“Why? So you can list all the reasons women aren’t equals in the workplace? I can go to my own job to hear that,” she said. Underneath the flat tone, Xavier could hear the sting he’d caused.
“I don’t think that,” he said. “The guys are worried that—”
“She’s a girl. Got it, message received,” Laurel said.
“No.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and leaned in until she was forced to meet his gaze. “The guys are worried about fighting because their animals are all ready to mate. Because my polar bear is ready to mate. Because you came along and, I can’t get you out of my head. And I think my animal already claimed you because I can’t even stand to be more than three feet from you without being in utter misery. But then, I’m in misery when I’m with you because you argue so damn much that I don’t know what the hell to do.”
He wanted to yank his hair out when her surprise turned to a slow smile. She leaned in and kissed him on the mouth, completely confusing him. “I’m in misery for you too,” she said.
Around the corner in the dining hall, there was a collective mixture of groans and whistles. Laurel laughed. Confounded fucking woman. God, he loved her laugh, though. He considered carrying her upstairs right now and christening her new room.
“Boss, we’re hungry,” Jake called.
“Yeah,” Harley put in. “Can you and Mrs. Alpha finish up so we can go get some grub at Mack’s?”
“Dude, give him a break,” Nash said. “You know this is a big deal.”
“Getting laid is always a big deal,” Jake said. Harley snickered.
Xavier looked at Laurel. “You want to get some dinner with us?”
A shadow of worry passed over her, dimming her smile, but she brightened, and Xavier let it pass for now. “Sounds good. I’m starved,” she said.
The boys all whooped and made a stampede for the door. Xavier waited for them and then led Laurel out by the hand. He’d never met a more infuriating woman, of that he was sure. But despite her penchant for arguing and calling him out, he couldn’t escape her. Even when they were apart, she was all he saw. He’d close his eyes, and there she was. Waiting for him to put the past in the past. To stop being afraid to choose someone, even if it meant sometimes putting them first.
It was getting easier, though. The more time he spent with her, the more clearly he could see his future. His crew, his job saving people, and Laurel. His life could be a balance. He could do all of those things and still love Laurel the way she deserved. One d
ay very soon, he’d find a way to tell her that. To make her believe it and let her give him a chance at it. She wouldn’t make it easy on him, though.
He already knew what he wanted. He wanted her. But if these past few days were any indication, it was going to be an all-out fight to get her.
Chapter 9
Mack’s Brewery was loud and full of locals by the time Laurel pulled up with Xavier. He found a parking spot in the rear of the lot, away from the other cars and patrons. She cast him a quick look when he didn’t move to get out and found him frowning at her in the twilight. His chiseled jaw and toned arms were taut as he studied her. She was struck again at how beautiful he really was. And nothing like the rumors claimed. Wild, yes, but not in the way they said. Xavier’s emotions ran wild, and he did everything he could to keep that part of himself locked away. She knew because she did the same.
But now, seeing the concern in his eyes only made her want to reassure him, even if it meant letting her walls down. Baring herself was getting easier and easier with him.
“What is it?” she asked.
“You tell me,” he said. “You’ve been quiet and distant since we left the Lodge.”
“Your bear wants a mate,” she said, her voice low. But it didn’t help lessen the impact. The words felt huge and loud at any volume.
“It does,” he said simply, but she knew it was anything but simple. “Does it frighten you to know that?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “But only because my animal wants the same.” She watched the delight register in his eyes and then fade again as a shadow passed over. Just as she’d expected. “You’re still hiding something from me.”
He stared out the windshield with a faraway look, at the trees that bordered the lot. She wondered if he was even seeing the bar full of happy hour customers in front of them or if he’d gone somewhere else entirely. She’d seen that expression on him enough by now to know whatever the memory was, and it haunted him.