“I told you that so you could get a better understanding of your situation. Your dreams.”
“Again, you’ve lost me. Are you saying you wouldn’t try to save someone’s life if you had the chance?”
“You can’t change what’s already written. You can try but it only upsets the balance.”
“What are you talking about Marie? Where is this coming from? This isn’t like you.” It’s not that I didn’t like this new passion that was coming from Marie but it was different. It was a change. And under the circumstances, a change I wasn’t ready for.
“This is me, okay? This is who I am.”
Those words were eerily familiar. And at that moment I realized there was something more about Marie that I didn’t know.
I took a breath and waited until I knew I was calm. “I don’t care who you are — what you are. I just want to be your friend. This night was about you and I’m sorry if I turned it around to me and my stupid dreams again. I’m scared too, you know? I am not ready to believe that there is no reason I’m having these predictions and that I can’t do anything to help people. Anyway, we don’t have to talk any more about it. Right now. But just know I am here for you and you can tell me anything.”
I waited, hoping that she would confide and me and talk about what was going on but she just lowered her head and nodded in agreement. I nodded mine and fought hard the urges to press the matter.
“Where’s Nikki?” I looked around the room, realizing we were alone.
Marie looked around too but didn’t answer. We walked to the living room but she wasn’t there. A light shone from the kitchen. Inside, Nikki was slumping over an open pizza box at the breakfast table.
“What’s wrong?” I pulled out a chair to sit next to her. Marie did the same.
“The pizza guy was here. I tried telling y’all but I guess you didn’t hear me with all that fighting you two were doing. Want some?”
She slid the box in my direction but Marie and I declined. “We weren’t fighting. And is there something else bothering you?”
“Nope.” She set down her piece of cheese pizza. “It’s just…You know I don’t like being left out of things.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. You guys are all super freaks and I’m just normal. Nothing cool about me."
I placed my palms flat on the table. “Are you kidding? I would do anything to be normal.”
Marie pushed her lips together so I continued talking. “Even when I didn’t have all this stuff going on, I still wished to be normal, to be like you Nikki. Believe it or not, I felt bad all those times you dragged me to the mall and got annoyed with me. I wanted to be like you, for you.”
She stared at me before a wide smile broke across her face and she started chuckling. “That’s really sad Ana, you know that?”
“I know that now. I didn’t know that then.” I playfully hit her arm when she wouldn’t stop laughing. “And you know what? Now I’m happy with not being normal. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“And I didn’t get annoyed with you.”
“Sure,” I teased her.
She straightened, becoming serious. “I didn’t. Really. To be honest, I admired you. You just did your own thing and didn’t care about what people thought of you. I just wanted you to like me and your indifference wasn’t giving me any assurance.”
How funny you hear these things when you need them the least. “Maybe that is my problem: not caring about what people think of me.”
“Stop, you’re fine. Marie why are you so quiet? Don’t you have something to add to this sob fest?”
Marie tried to smile genuinely.
“It’s okay, Marie has a lot on her mind already.” I smiled at Marie who was looking up at me through lowered brows. I shivered unwillingly. “I'd better get going.“ I pulled out my cell from my back pocket to check the time.
“What? You just got here!” Nikki protested.
“Talk to you later…” Marie and I said at the same time.
Nikki looked over at Marie with confusion and a frown.
“I know but I still have something with Hayden’s parents and have to bust my butt tomorrow at work for leaving early today.”
“Sure, ye need yer beauty rest, the grand ball is naught but in a fortnight.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at Nikki’s attempt at an accent. “That was wrong on so many levels.”
“I’d like to hear you do better.”
“I’m just saying, a fortnight is about two weeks. The ball is only two nights from now. And what kind of accent is that anyway? English, Irish? The masquerade ball celebrates Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras, which have French influences so not only is your geography wrong, but your time period as well.”
“Why am I friends with you again?”
I shrugged. “I just like history.” My thoughts briefly drifted away from my conversation with Nikki to why exactly I liked history. Had I always been interested in it? Or was it something new, as a result of the events and people around me, that history has began to play such a big role in my life? I thought about Rachel and why she had turned to history. Was there an event in her life that forced her to look into the past? Ironically, the fact that I saw the future was what forced me to seek out the past.
“Why do you and Marie keep zoning out tonight? Geez- I thought this was going to be a fun night but you two are a bunch of downers.” Nikki’s sarcasm brought me back and I scooted back my chair to stand up.
“Well, I’ll see y’all tomorrow.”
“Bye, Ana! Can’t wait to see you in that dress!”
Marie said goodbye in no more than a whisper and I walked out of the kitchen with a frown that showed exactly how I was feeling.
“Marie, I was just kidding.”
“It’s not that.”
I heard the fading voices from behind me.
I shut Marie’s front door behind me, hoping Marie would come lock it after I left. As if I didn’t have enough to think over, I now had Marie to figure out. Marie’s family obviously has a strong connection to voodoo. How does one become a voodoo priestess? Are they born into it? Passed on from generation to generation? And where was I going to get that information from? I told Hayden everything but I didn’t know if I would feel right about telling him this. I didn’t tell her about him. Once again, it wasn’t my secret to tell.
This was the start of my long drive back to the house where the events of what had just happened with Marie loomed and the nervousness of the pending confrontation with Luke awaited.
The only thing I remained hopeful for was that Hayden’s parents had been there for hours and probably had already talked some sense into Luke. That, or he had never come back from wherever he went.
I didn’t realize how nervous I had become until I arrived home and stepped out of the car. That’s when all the blood that had been pumping through me rushed from my head. I didn’t notice the extra car in the driveway or the noises coming from inside. I expected to see what I had seen the first time I met Hayden’s parents: Christopher’s calm, welcoming presence and Elizabeth’s warm, caring smile. It was only once I hesitated at the front door that I realized there was arguing going on inside. Four distinct voices; Luke was home.
Chapter Fourteen
“I just came to get my things, and then I’ll be outta here.” I heard Luke in the living room as I clicked the door shut quietly behind me.
“Luke, sit down this instant.”
If they had sensed I was there, they didn’t give it away. Either that, or they were too emotionally involved in the argument with Luke.
I heard Luke pace a few steps towards where I was by the stairs and stop. “Why so you can lecture me about doing the right thing again? You’re not my mother.”
My heart leaped for Elizabeth. She had raised Luke like her own and I know how much it must have hurt her for him to say this. Even more, I felt sorry for Luke. Clearly this was his defense mechanism and losing
his parents was not a wound that was closed.
“No, Luke. We won’t lecture you anymore. You know exactly what you’re doing and what you’re capable of. We don’t need to lecture you anymore for you to realize that you are good. We don’t kill innocent people.”
“We? What if that’s who I am? You know what they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! What if my father wasn’t innocent? What if you have been cursed for eternity to save a guilty man?”
I heard Elizabeth gasp and Luke stormed past me up the stairs to his room. I stood frozen while I comprehended the words Luke just spoke. The whole reason they were Hunters was because of Luke’s father. He had been accused of murder and was sentenced to be hanged in 1833. Christopher had made a deal with the Queen of Voodoo, Marie Laveau, to save Claude’s life. In turn, they had vowed their eternal service to the underworld and thus began the curse. To say that Claude wasn’t innocent, that he really did commit murder, was to say that Christopher cursed his family for generations and sentenced himself to immortality to save a guilty man. And Luke thought that he was the son of a murderer, and therefore evil himself. The Luke I knew was not evil, the Luke I knew had even believed in me and had helped save my life on more than one occasion. He had even saved the life of an innocent jogger. He laughed with me, comforted me. If he gave up hope in himself, where would his restraint be? Would he become like the Vasquez, who killed the innocent where they saw fit? I could never let him go there!
At that last thought I ran up the stairs after him. Christopher and Elizabeth might have said something to me but I didn’t hear them; my face was twisted in thought and worry as I felt my way through the dark hall to Luke’s room.
“What are you doing?” Luke asked while I was contemplating knocking. I pushed the door open guessing that was as good a welcome as any.
“I…I want to talk to you.” I walked slowly into the warm room.
He scoffed, “Yeah, well, get in line.”
He was sorting through a few things on his desk, and then went to the closet.
“I’m not going to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.”
“Oh really?” He cocked one eyebrow at me from the closet.
I wrung my hands together. “Okay, maybe I lied. Maybe I will.”
A smile crept on his face briefly before he turned back to his search.
I licked my lips not really sure where I was going with this. “I’m not really sure where I’m going with this.” Honesty was best, I guessed.
He scoffed again from the closet.
“I know what you were trying to do down there. Do you hurt those that care about you to push them away?”
“Have I hurt you, Ana? Oh that’s right- you don’t care about me.”
“Stop it, Luke. You know I care about you. I care about you a lot. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. You’re not fooling anyone with that little charade you did downstairs. No one believes that.”
Luke came out of the closet with a small box. “No one believes that? Really? I saw the look on Christopher’s face before he could hide it.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter what you are or who you were or what your father was. I know you, Luke. And I like you. I like all of who you are. I like how you make me laugh, I like how you show you care in ways that only you can do, I even like when you break the rules and sometimes even your bad attitude. The good, the bad, I like you.”
Luke’s head dropped and he exhaled as he paused his packing.
“But that you, whom I’ve come to know and like, is not evil. Could never be evil, no matter what you’ve done and no matter who your father might be. I don’t care about all that, can’t you get that through your thick skull?” I let out in a half-sob, half-laugh.
“Love.”
“What?” I froze.
“You didn’t say that you love me.”
I felt my throat start to tighten. “I…What?”
“You said ‘like.’ What about ‘love?' I need you to love me.”
“Of course, we all love you Luke.” Why did my heart flutter?
He brought his clenched fists to his side. “Dammit, you know that’s not what I meant. Tell me that you’re in love with me.”
“Luke, stop.”
“Tell me.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t?” He mocked. “Then what the hell am I doing here? What the hell is the point in doing good, if I can’t have you to spend the rest of my life with?”
“But—“
“Forget it, Ana. Just tell me, then, that there is no hope and I will leave you alone.”
Silence was thick as I tried to drag a coherent thought from my brain.
“For someone who talks a lot, you’re sure quiet now. All you have to do is tell me that there is no hope that we will ever be together and I will be out of your life. I’ll stop trying to ‘woo’ you or whatever the hell you said I was doing.”
“I can’t,” I breathed.
“You can’t?” He asked with wrathful incredulity. “It’s easy. If you can’t even tell me there is no hope, then there must be a part of you that wants to be with me.”
“Just stop it, Luke.” I lowered my head in shame. Did my faults have to be exposed to everyone?
Luke came over to me and grabbed my arms, forcing me to look up at him. His beautiful hazel eyes pleaded with a passion I’ve never seen before. “I swear if you choose me, I won’t kill anyone ever again. I won’t go to the dance. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Is that an ultimatum?” My voice rose and I came out of what seemed like a spell he had put on me. “The only reason you’ll save my innocent uncle’s life is if I’ll be your girlfriend? Never! There’s your answer.”
He easily dropped his hands as I pushed them away. He held a lethally intimidating smile as he shook his head. “It’s too late, Ana. You’ve given me hope. I will never stop trying. You will love me if it’s the last thing I do.” He picked up the bag on his bed and slung it over his shoulders. He leaned towards me as he headed for the door. “I’ll see you at the ball.” He gave my forehead a slow, sensuous kiss before I pulled away in disgust. Finally, my senses were working again.
“You’re insane!”
I heard his laugh make its way down the stairs and I stood alone in his bedroom.
This was beyond repairable. Why hadn’t I told him the truth? That I loved Hayden and there was no hope that I would ever be with him. Especially not now. His declaration that he would never kill another soul again if I loved him and his ultimatum that he would spare my uncle’s life: that was so sinister. So evil. Shouldn’t someone want to do good for the sake of doing good? I felt trapped. I was mentally kicking myself for not telling him right away that there was no hope but another part of me regretted not just agreeing to be with him to save Christian’s life. Now, I was insane. I felt so guilty for even thinking that and didn’t know how I could possibly face Hayden at this point. I managed to talk myself down enough to leave Luke’s room. How could I think when I was surrounded by reminders of him? I sank into the darkened hallway wall and thought about what was wrong with me. Why was I twisted enough to consider taking Luke’s ultimatum? The fact was, I couldn’t be trusted with my emotions right now.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
I stopped in the hallway. “You do?” I sniffed and still couldn’t bring myself to face Hayden.
“You can stop beating yourself up.”
“Why shouldn’t I be?”
Hayden sighed and I forced myself not to run to him and bury my face in his chest.
“It was wrong of Luke to use something you care about to try to get to you but it’s even more wrong for you to beat yourself up over not considering it.”
Of course everyone had heard our conversation. I groaned internally.
“I’m not regretting denying his offer. I can’t believe he even said that.” I told myself savagely.
“You care about your Uncle. It’s only
natural you would want to do anything to try to save him.”
“Hayden, I…” I turned into him and he hushed me as he wrapped his arms around me. My heart ached and I wished my choices were simpler. Why couldn’t I just love Hayden and that be enough? Why did I have to think of the future? Or the implications? Most of all, why did Hayden make it so easy to love when I made it so difficult. He had heard my entire conversation with Luke, my hesitance in denying him, and yet he saw me no differently. How could someone be so good and someone so evil? There were good people and there were evil people. I’d seen both in Luke. Was there a line, did those lines ever cross? How did you know which one was right? What were these feelings? What was love? Did I even know what that was anymore? Did I even know who I was anymore? I felt like locking myself in my room, indulging in my self-pity, but Hayden’s hold on me tightened and a new wave a feelings came over me. I lifted my chin up and we walked downstairs to meet his parents.
Chapter Fifteen
Throwing myself into school work was something I did to forget about things and the choices I would have to eventually face. I had planned to apply the same amount of enthusiasm when I got to work. I was slightly looking forward to the odd jobs and extra extremities that Zack would make me take. School was over and Luke was still nowhere to be seen. Out of sight - out of mind, I told myself. Or was it not out of mind? He certainly wasn’t out of my mind.
“Have you seen him yet today?” I asked Hayden as we walked to the parking lot after school.
He shook his head, tight-lipped.
“You don’t think he’ll come to the ball on Saturday, then, right?”
His silence and the frown line that indented his brow told me what he was thinking.
I stopped walking. Why would Luke do this? To prove that I was wrong - that I couldn't change my dreams? Or to prove that he really was evil, that his father really was guilty, and that he was truly his father’s son?
“Why would Luke do this?” I thought out loud. I didn’t give him time to reply. “I wish I could figure out these stupid dreams. If I knew I couldn’t change the future, then maybe I could work on accepting it.” I knew I wouldn’t. “But the fact that I don’t know, it haunts me. And the thought of if I could but then I fail, well, that haunts me more. It just seems like everything is coming apart at once. I can’t even—”
Aftermath Page 10