Cade would explode if she kept teasing him like this. He just knew it. It had been too long since he'd had her. Too long since he'd been exposed to her intoxicating aura. Too long since he'd been able to slake his lust for her. Too long since he'd had a woman at all. Even a few more minutes would be too long to wait to fill her with the throbbing, painful erection calling out for release from the torture that was Lainie.
Lainie looked her fill, smiling appreciatively, a twinkle in her eye.
What does she plan to do now?
Cade worried that he'd not be able to hold back - that he'd ravage her before she'd had her fun.
Lainie leaned forward, twisted her tongue around one of his male nipples, and sucked it into her mouth. His lower body lunged upward, wanting inside her, wanting to be naked like her, wanting to feel skin on skin. He started to lift her from him, his hands on her curvaceous hips, and she rolled off him and held his hands in hers. "No. Let me."
He groaned. "Damn it, Lainie. What did I tell you about playing with fire?"
She grinned. "That I'd get burned. Promises. Promises."
"It's a promise, all right, and I'm about to fulfill it." Cade gritted his teeth, but he didn't pull his hands from hers. She let them go and reached for his zipper. He clenched his teeth, steeling himself further against her touch. She lowered the zipper and grabbed hold of the tops of his jeans at the hips.
"Lift up," she commanded and pulled his jeans from his body. He wondered at her feisty, carefree aggression. It always surprised him. She'd been a virgin when he'd first met her, but it hadn't taken long to teach her. She'd been a quick study and more responsive to him in bed than any other woman before her or after her. He'd wanted her more than any other woman he'd ever been with - even more than his ex-wife.
What did that mean? That he cared for her more? But... hadn't he loved his ex-wife? Now he sounded like a woman, thinking he had to be in love to enjoy sex. Still, a woman like Lainie would love, generously, and she'd want to be loved without reserve. She deserved the love she craved, but what the hell could he do about it? Nothing, but he could make her feel good, and maybe, for now, that would be enough. It was all he had to hold onto her. He had to try.
Lainie had Cade just the way she wanted him, naked and aroused - very aroused, judging by the size and hardness of his manhood, jutting out and standing up at attention, ready for duty, like a true soldier.
She crawled back on top of him, but she kept his erection in front of her. She grinned at him, and he looked... worried. He literally looked as if he might jump out of his skin at any moment. This is great. A new side of Cade. One she hadn't seen before. She'd use his intensity against him. She took him into her hands, one at the base of him, one at the tip of him. He hissed air in between his teeth and closed his eyes. "This is one night you'll never forget, Cade Sheridan."
She rose up above him and sheathed him with her body, letting herself slide down his length, slowly, very slowly.
That first slick slide of wet and heat engulfed him, and he absorbed the bliss. He grabbed her at her waist and lifted her higher. He lowered her, slowly, onto his manhood, and then he repeated the process, pushing his lower body up off the bed and into her, over and over.
Then there was no more going slowly, for either of them then. He lunged upward into her, frantically, again and again. Her body tightened and her inner muscles clenched and clung to his shaft. She stiffened, her entire body riding him and shuddering. She called out his name as she reached her climax, and he let himself go.
So much for slow and easy, but she had asked for this.
It was his last coherent thought before he rammed upward into her with one final, powerful lunge. He let himself fly toward that mindless crescent of climax and land right in the middle of mind-boggling pain/pleasure, the extent of which he'd never experience before - not even with her.
Sated, he sat up, with her still straddling him. He grasped her tightly around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest. He remained buried deep inside her, still throbbing, blood coursing radically through his traumatized veins, pounding through his now-fragile heart, his seed slowly seeping from him and into her body.
He'd taken a great risk. She wasn't on the pill, since she breast fed. Right now, it didn't matter. He'd wanted to soak up Lainie and not use a condom. He hadn't wanted anything between his body and hers, his heat and hers. Chance of pregnancy or no, he'd never regret it, and he'd have to talk to her about this breast feeding thing. It was a good idea, healthy for Eli, but he didn't want to have to wear a condom with his own wife. Then again, there were other methods of birth control. Maybe he could invest in those.
His wife? Would she accept him? Marry him?
Holding her to him, his arms wrapped around her, he could feel her breathing slow to normal, but tremors ran through her body. She vibrated against him, and he wondered why. Was she simply feeling the aftermath of passion? She snuggled into him. A warm teardrop fell on his shoulder, and she sniffled. He went still. "Lainie? Did I hurt you?"
Cade remembered his firm grip on her waist and knew how hard he'd plunged into her. Was she still sore from childbirth? He moved from under her and looked at her hips. The milky white skin was already bruised. He was horrified. His voice was rougher than he'd meant for it to be when he shoved her away and stood by the bed. "Damn it. Why didn't you say something? Are you hurting anywhere else?"
The tears rolled now, and Lainie couldn't stop them long enough to explain. It'd been so beautiful, so wonderful, so fulfilling. Cade thought he'd hurt her. The only thing hurting was her heart - so full of love she was about to implode with it. Finally, she shook her head. "It doesn't hurt, Cade. It didn't hurt anywhere. It felt wonderful." The question in his eyes made her smile through blubbery tears. "Happy tears. I'm so happy. You make me so happy. Sorry. It's a girl thing."
She placed her hand along his jaw and looked at him. He surged from the bed and began to pace, unaware of or unconcerned about his nakedness, and what it did to Lainie's humming system. She wanted him again, just from looking at him. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Listen, Lainie, you've got to stop looking at me like that. I'm not some damned hero you should worship or even love."
She rose up from the bed, came up behind him, and rubbed her naked breasts on his naked back, which was still scratched up from the glass. She curled her arms around him from behind and kissed his shoulder. He shuddered. "You're not just some hero, Cade. You're my hero. Eli's hero. Eli's daddy. I love you. That's all that matters."
"That's not all that matters, Lainie. I want you to marry me. I want to live with you and Eli for the rest of our lives. But I can't love... I can't... " He nearly choked on his the words. He couldn't even say the word love without choking on it. How dare he ask her to marry him and tell her he didn't love her in the same breath?
Lainie masked over a look of disappointment after only a heartbeat, refusing to show Cade how much she hurt. She moved in front of him and stood facing him. She curled her arms around him and held him close. His body trembled, and she would have sworn that he was on the verge of tears himself. "I'll marry you, Cade. Even if you don't love me. It's the least I can do."
He stepped back, but he let her hold onto his waist. "What do you mean? The least you can do?"
She shrugged. "You've given me Eli. You've protected us. You're there for us, and I know you always will be. That's the kind of man you are, and whether you know it or not, or believe it or not, I think you love me as much as you do Eli."
He stepped away from her and shook his head in denial. "Don't do that, Lainie. Don't do that to yourself. Don't do it to me. Don't disillusion yourself. I'm no hero, and I'll never let myself be weakened by love again."
He left her. He strolled naked out of her bedroom and went to his room. He locked her out of his life, even if only for the night. For a moment, Lainie stood stock still, unthinking, unblinking. Numb. Had Cade given her another child? It'd be the last time they'd have unprotected sex
. Either he'd use a condom, or she'd use the birth control items Trish had mentioned and given her before she'd left her office. She couldn't take the pill, but Trish had suggested other ways. Lainie hadn't cared to stop and use them, but she would from now on.
Lainie cried herself to sleep, aching for her loss, of Cade, again. He was here, but he wasn't really all there. Would he ever be?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The next morning, Lainie headed for the kitchen, already showered and whistling a happy tune. She'd slept on it, and she'd decided that whether Cade loved her or not, it simply didn't matter. For now. He was here with her, and she'd keep him here for as long as she could hold onto him. She was just a woman, after all, not a witch with magic powers, love potions and spells, and she wasn't God. She couldn't change Cade's heart to fit her plans, and Cade was just a man, after all. He'd either stay or go.
She walked into the kitchen. Cade prepared breakfast, and the sight of him, not the food, made her mouth water. God, he's so beautiful. What would she do without him? She shook herself mentally and got a grip. No use thinking that way.
She inhaled deeply, taking in both Cade's scent and the aroma of coffee brewing. She pulled coffee cups from the cabinet, filled them, and fixed the java the way each of them liked it. Awfully intimate a setting for two people who had a child together, but supposedly don't love each other. Well, one of them wasn't in love, anyway.
She walked up to Cade. He stopped beating the scrambled eggs when she touched him and brushed up against him intimately. She stretched to her full height, and then stood on her tiptoes. She kissed him with a loud smack on the lips and said as cheerfully as she could muster, "Good morning. When do you want to get married?"
He stood there, frozen to the linoleum, his expression blank. She backed off, sat down to drink her coffee, and forced her hands not to shake. Cade swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing from the top of his throat to the base of his neck. He shook his head as if to come to his lost senses and cleared his throat. "Will this weekend give you enough time to prepare?"
She stared at him. "This weekend? But... what about our families?"
He shrugged. "I'll make all the arrangements and pay their airfare."
"I don't need you to pay for their tickets, Cade. I have plenty of money of my own and... " Lainie began, only to be interrupted.
"Yes, well, I know you don't need my money, but I'll pay for the wedding anyway. I'm the one that wants it."
"I won the lottery, Cade, remember? It's why I changed my name. It's why I moved here. Besides, I want this wedding, too." Lainie stood and planted herself directly in front of him. "Make no mistake, Cade. I could live without you, if I had to, but I don't want to. I might not need you for your money, but I do need you for a few other things. I need you to make my life whole, and I need you to let me love you. I need you to love me back, too, but you don't seem to have the ability to do that. So, we'll have to make do with what we have, apparently."
Lainie issued the words with only a twinge of the sarcasm she couldn't manage to keep out of her tone. Whipping around, she tromped out of the room and left him sitting there. Served him right. He deserved her tongue lashing, and he deserved the haunted look in his eyes, even if it did make her cringe to see it and know she'd partially caused it.
The rest of the week whizzed by in a whirlwind of pre-wedding activity and jitters, but not cold feet. At least not for Lainie. Not really. Lainie barely had time to breathe, much less think.
She did have time to feel, though - apprehension, mostly - and she spent most of her time looking over her shoulder, feeling ever-present, watchful eyes on her back, following her every move. She couldn't see whoever watched her, but she believed that someone trailed her. She kept her paranoia to herself, hoping the prickly feeling raising the tiny little hairs on the back of her neck was simply a result of what'd happened before - not some new premonition.
Lainie's dad would fly in on the morning of the ceremony, but her mom arrived the morning before the wedding. This time, Sharon and Cade were a great deal more than civil towards one another than during their initial meeting.
The evening, before the wedding, there was a knock at the door. Cade glanced up from his paper, Lainie froze in the recliner, and Sharon muted the TV. Cade rose from the couch and answered the door. Lainie and Sharon stood, waiting. Cade opened the door and gasped. A frail woman stepped forward, reached up, and gripped Chuck's shoulders. The woman looked as if she might jump out of her skin. She looked just like Cade, and Chuck, too.
Cade pulled her into a tight embrace and shook as he hugged her for the longest time. Lainie teared up. Trish appeared from behind Chuck and came to stand beside her. Trish handed Lainie a tissue, and Lainie swiped at her eyes and nose. She sniffed. How many tears would she shed tomorrow at her own wedding? Shouldn't she at least wait until then to cry her eyes out? When had she become such a mushy sap?
Cade released the woman who was so obviously his mother, but he kept a hold on her arm as he led her inside. "Lainie, this is my mom. Eloise. Mom, this is Lainie."
Eloise smiled, but she looked weary. She'd had a hard life. Lainie knew that much from conversations with Cade and from the leathery wrinkles on her thin face. She looked frail, but Lainie didn't hesitate to hug her, just as hard as Cade had when Eloise stuck out a hand for a shake. Lainie rejected the invitation and pulled the woman close. "Not a chance. Families hug. We're family. Or at least, we will be tomorrow."
Water had pooled in Eloise's eyes when she'd first entered. Now tears ran down her cheeks. "Sharon, will you go and get Eli?" Cade glanced at Chuck. "I guess you did this."
Chuck grinned sheepishly and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Wedding present. I thought Mom might want to see you get hitched. None of us ever thought you would again. I thought she might enjoy a visit with Eli, too."
Cade grabbed Chuck's hand, and then pulled him into a brotherly embrace, each patting the other's back and clearing his throat. No tears were shed, but both men's eyes were suspiciously bright.
Eli's entrance in Sharon's arms allowed the guys to avoid anything embarrassing. All attention turned to the infant, and stayed there, for more hours than were wise. It was well past Eli's bedtime when the adults finally tucked her in, all of them standing in a row as Cade laid her in her crib and covered her snugly.
Lainie suspected that no one would sleep much, for a variety of reasons, but Sharon yawned and whispered, "I'm off to bed." She looked at Eloise. "I suppose you'll be staying at Chuck's?"
Eloise nodded, and they moved out of the nursery and into the foyer. Sharon waved a goodnight, and Cade hugged his mom once more. "Goodnight, mama. Sleep well. Tomorrow's a big day."
Eloise blinked back wetness in her eyes and smiled, the crow's feet more pronounced when her eyes crinkled. "I will, son."
Cade and Chuck exchanged a look and shook hands. Cade opened the door and let them out. He closed and locked it behind them and sighed heavily. Turning to Lainie, he hugged her, trembling like a school boy. Lainie never would have believed that Cade could react this way. He'd had such a tumultuous youth, and Lainie ached for the child in him. Cade pulled away and gave her a peck on the cheek. He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Goodnight."
He dropped his hand and shuffled off toward the guest bedroom. She went to bed herself, thinking, Tomorrow really will be a long day.
The wedding was upon her, and Trish dressed her in a simple but elegant off-white gown they'd picked out together. Short notice or not, the wedding dress turned out beautiful and perfect for this small ceremony.
Suddenly Trish asked Lainie, "So, not to throw a ringer in this thing? How are you feeling about marrying Cade? I know you swore you wouldn't marry someone you didn't love, and who didn't love you back, but... do you think it'll work out?"
Trish waited, and Lainie said, "I'm trying not to think about it - about the future, about what could go wrong, about the ramifications of gluing myself to a man like Cade Sheridan for the rest of
my life. God, Trish, I can only hope and pray that he doesn't get tired of playing daddy and hubby to someone he starts to think of as a ball and chain around his neck."
"Lainie, I hardly think he sees you as a ball and chain. He wants you. The attraction and sparks flying between the two of you could melt butter faster than a microwave oven. It's going to be one hell of a wedding night, girl."
Trish punched her on the arm, and Lainie smiled, tentatively. "I hope so, but he hasn't touched me since Monday." Lainie blushed crimson. "I hope I'm woman enough to hold his attention." Lainie swallowed the lump of fear and uncertainty stuck in her craw. "And I hope he won't... cheat on me...for however long this marriage lasts. I hope he's honest enough to tell me when he no longer wants me."
Trish shook her head. "Seriously, Lainie, I don't think you give yourself, or Cade, enough credit. You're beautiful. I wish I had that body of yours. I'd use it to the fullest. And Cade is no cheat. He'll stick. I'd bet my bonnet on it."
Lainie shrugged, trying not to show her worry. "Maybe, but he's locked himself away all week in his bedroom, and it's not as if I can read his mind, but I sure as heck wish I could."
"What about Eli? Is he still attentive to her?"
Lainie lowered her eyes. "Yes, and she responds more to Cade than she does to me. It must be his scent and his soothing voice." Lainie grinned at Trish, shivering. "I know how she feels. His smell and voice get to me, too."
Trish reached for Lainie's hand. "You're not telling me you're jealous of your own child, are you, sweetie?"
Lainie shook her head. "No. I was at first, but nothing weird or unnatural. I'm so glad and relieved to have found Cade, and so happy Eli and Cade have each other. Not much else matters. There's no room for jealousy - just wishful thinking... that he could love me as much as he does her, and so easily and unconditionally."
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