by Jason Davis
Would Bobby be the first boy she had sex with? Probably, but there was no way she was ready for that. When she was, Bobby was definitely the one. For now, though, she was happy with just kissing him and letting him play with her. He was a really good tickler.
She found the place Bobby had brought her a few times. She had started to call out to him when everything deflated. He wasn’t there. She hadn’t realized she had actually pictured him sitting there, waiting. Where else could he be? This was their place. It was a nice little area hidden away from the path, surrounded by bushes, two stumps they had rolled there sitting in the middle. They had placed them in front of a large metal grate covering a hole.
Bobby loved to spit down into that hole. Sometimes, he would even jump on the grate, laughing at Emily for being afraid to join him. He didn’t see how the metal bounced on the ground. It moved as he jumped up and down, one edge inching closer to the hole. He would fall through one day, then she would have to tell his mom about how Bobby disappeared and fell through to China. She didn’t know if the hole were that deep, but whenever they threw things down there, they never heard them land.
She walked over to the grate and looked down into it. She couldn't see anything. Beneath the grate was only black. The sun didn’t even shine on the sides of it.
She sat down on one of the stumps, her shoulders sagging. She didn’t really want to wander around the woods. Besides, if she were caught, what would she say? How would she explain it? She was supposed to be in school. The only reason she left was to get away from that nasty janitor chasing her. Well, she guessed she wouldn’t have to mention that.
In fact, she could tell whomever she saw that she was worried about her friend and left to come help find him. That was true, wasn’t it? Well, kind of. He was her friend, and she did want to try and find him, but she would have been happy with just finding his body. She had never seen a body before. Yeah, it would be sad that it was Bobby, but still cool.
She looked up and watched the branches dance above her. When the sun shone through them, she saw the finger-like shadows move around her. The branch hands looked to be reaching out to her. Jumping when she felt something brush against her leg, she chuckled. It was probably just a bush.
If she closed her eyes, maybe she could feel Bobby there with her so she wouldn’t be alone. If he were dead, she really was alone. She couldn’t stand her parents. They usually just ignored her and Lisa. Emily hung out more uptown than she did at home. Lisa was usually either off at her boyfriend’s or over at Tammy’s. She was never home, so it really was just Emily there.
Most of the other kids were afraid of her, which was how she liked it. She was taller and stockier, having a wide face and nose that looked nearly flat. Kids used to call her “boy face” because they said she looked like a boy, then she started beating them up. Now everyone, except Bobby, just ignored her. He was her friend, and they both picked on all the little dirtbags.
Feeling the chill, she ran her hands up and down her arms. Her legs were especially cold, even though she wore jeans.
She looked down, blinking, not sure what she saw. That wasn’t right. She had to be seeing it wrong. It just...
Below her was nothing, blackness, as if the darkness under the grate had worked its way out and was now around her. The sun did nothing to penetrate the shadows. They spread slowly, tentacle-like strands expanding over the ground.
Her legs were in it, but she knew she had to get free. It didn’t matter what it was or if it were in her mind. It wasn’t right. It was so cold. She felt its touch as it slithered up her.
She couldn’t let it take her. She tried to pull her legs free, but couldn’t. Something gripped her. As she pulled hard on her legs, it held tight. Something was in the darkness. It almost felt like a hand had grasped both her ankles, but that just wasn’t possible. There was nothing there.
She opened her mouth to scream, but as she did, the world around her went dark. She whipped her head around to see the blackness had formed a dome. It wasn’t thick, but was enough to block out the brightness of the sun, seeping away any color.
She looked at her arms to see they looked even whiter than normal, her pale skin looking ghostly.
“Please, help me!” she screamed, hoping there were some searchers nearby.
The darkness became thicker. Through her jeans, she could feel the cold touch of whatever was in the black. She didn’t need to see it to know what it was, though. It was a monster. Not like the monsters Bobby’s mom always told him about…the hobos she said lived up there. Unlike those, this monster was real, and it had her.
She could think of only one way to get away from it. She had to break out of its grasp. To do that, she had to fall.
She thought maybe if she fell back, whatever had her would have to either support all her weight or release her, letting her fall back to the ground. It would hurt, and she figured there was no way she wasn’t going to clip the stump. She could deal with the pain later. She had to focus on escaping.
With her eyes closed, she let herself fall back. She pushed off with her legs, expecting to be propelled backwards.
Instead of feeling herself break free, the grip strengthened. The darkness was nearly as high as her stomach, tingling against her bare skin. Something rigid and slimy moved across her, but she couldn’t see anything past the endless black cloud engulfing the dome.
Her chest heaved as she struggled to pull herself free. The darkness held her up, so maybe there was something to push against. When she thrust her hands down into it, they disappeared into the solid black mist and were held by its icy grip.
This wasn’t going to get her. No, she was strong. She was not going to go down like this. She had pounded little kids, knew how to fight back. This was not going to take her. There was no way she was going to lose.
“Help me!”
She pulled her arms, shaking viciously to get them free. The grip that held them was unrelenting, but if she could wiggle enough, maybe they would start to give. Then she could just work her way free. There was still the dome, but she knew she could break through that.
But the dark force didn’t release her. It rose up slowly, closing over her neck. It rose faster, taking away more and more of her movement. She could barely move her head. Nearly everything was now completely black around her.
She tried one last time to call out. This time, someone had to hear her, had to come save her. There wasn’t any way she wasn’t getting out of this. As she opened her mouth to scream, the darkness covered it, smothering her, as if she screamed into a pillow. When she tried to pull in more air for another scream, it covered her nose. She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs burned. Her head swam as the world disappeared around her.
When the darkness covered her eyes, everything was gone.
CHAPTER 11
The void was endless, the darkness enveloping every part of his being, allowing for the sense that there was nothing beyond his own self. It made the feeling of being alone push on him, surround him, pull him into its grip. The despair of it put weight on his soul and dragged him into something he had felt before, but it had only gingerly touched him then. Now it flooded into him. It was anger. It was hate. It was everything he had always felt wrong with the world. All the moral depravity pushed through every barrier he had ever put up, reaching far into his core. He could feel as it went for his very being.
He had been a cop for so long, seen so many evils, but he had always kept it at arm’s length, never letting any of it get to him. He would get depressed now and then, but only because of what he saw. He had always been the one who was able to keep his sanity.
Now, it felt like the darkness had gotten its grips into him and he could no longer push it away. Rob was surrounded by darkness. He couldn’t tell if his eyes were closed or open, if he were awake or sleeping, alive or dead. Everything was gone, except the black nothing around him.
But when he took a step forward, his bare foot fell on solid ground. It was
cool and smooth, like marble or glass. He crouched down to see what it was, but no matter how he moved or where he looked, there was nothing.
“Hello?” His voice echoed. He thought he closed his eyes, but wasn’t sure. Everything was wrong and he was lost inside himself. He could only feel his hatred building, his breathing quickening. He wanted to hit something, to pound it into submission.
A child giggled. He heard it all around him as he spun, trying to see and feel where the sound came from. At first, he thought it had been behind him, but when he turned, it stayed behind him. It echoed, everywhere…and nowhere. The soft sounds were a tease of something there as it shadowed him. His anger caught in his chest as his breath turned cold and frightened.
How had Rob gotten there? What was the last thing he remembered?
What was his name? Rob Alletto. He was a beat cop in Chicago. No, he wasn’t in Chicago anymore. Why? Because he felt it was too dangerous for his… Who?
Jake… Remember Jake? Yes, I remember. I have a son and a wife, Wendy. No. My wife is Robyn. We are Rob and Robyn. Everyone likes to make a joke about our names.
So who is Wendy?
The giggling intensified around him, now feeling like a needle trying to slowly push into his temple. He could feel a tear at the corner of his eye, threatening to fall. It tried to get into his mind like it had his body. It wanted to take him, like…like…like someone had fought for his mind before. He remembered he had to fight with someone else, something else. Something wanted to take control of him. Was the giggling trying to control him? No. It wanted something,but he couldn’t quite place it.
How had I fought it before? How did I beat it?
He thought of Jake and Robyn and remembered that moment. It was amazing. It was the first time he had held Jake in his arms. Robyn was a new mother, he was a new father, and the nurse had handed him this small bundle of joy, his eyes not even open yet, his mouth moving as he received his first taste of the world.
He felt the giggling fade a little, the pressure against him easing. His eyes fluttered open. He hadn’t even realized he had closed them. The world around him was still black, but now he saw a boy standing in front of him. He wore a torn and dirty white shirt and cut off jeans that were barely held together. His skin was pale, but he could still recognize him from the picture. It was the boy he was looking for. What was his name?
Name… Name… Come on. What’s his name?
“Hey!” Rob called out to him.
The boy looked at him, surprised and scared. Feeling his foot move, Rob took a step toward him.
The boy took a step back, then another. Rob continued to move forward, but he couldn’t get any closer. The boy always stayed just out of reach.
When the boy realized this, a wide smile stretched across his pale face and he laughed again. This time, it was deep and menacing, somehow having the force to echo around him. The sound cascaded off the unseen walls, growing in volume. More laughter joined the hideous sound, growing louder and louder. Rob thought he was going to faint as, even in the darkness of the place, colors danced in his vision. The pain pushed at him again. He was losing it. He was going to give in. Everything shifted and he started to fall…
* * * *
As his eyes fluttered open, the afternoon sun blinded him. His body ached as he tried to roll over. When his spine locked, he stayed lying on his back. He had a momentary sense he was still asleep, trapped in another nightmare. He strained to listen for the screams of dying victims, the fire tearing away at the house around him. He didn’t hear any of it. The only thing he heard was the quiet sound of a child’s laughter. He vaguely remembered dreaming about a child, but this sounded nothing like what pulled at his memory. He recognized this sound. It pushed away some of the grogginess as he smiled.
He had to lift his leg so he could pull himself up. It was a nagging reminder thathe wasn’t a young cop anymore. That officer had died in the fire, a grizzled, old man replacing him.
Walking slowly to the window, he looked out, seeing his son playing with his friend, Chris. Rob was happy when Chris came over because the two got along so well. He watched as they both ran around the yard, their arms outstretched like they were flying.
It was good to see them playing, although Rob often regretted they never had enough extra money for Jake to have the game consoles other kids had. Unless he went over to a friend’s house, he never got to play all the games he saw on television. Jake never let it bother him, though. Rob watched the two boys, realizing it wasn’t all that different from how Rob and his friends would have played at that age.
Jake would always be a good boy, always be Rob’s little angel.
He stepped away from the window, hearing Robyn downstairs. She had told him she was going to be running errands for much of the afternoon. Either she had gotten done early or it was later than he thought. He wasn’t ready to look at the clock to see just what time it was.
Rob looked at his uniform draped over the back of a chair. He hadn’t worn it last night and didn’t relish putting it on now. Every day, it felt harder to find the energy to put it on. It seemed like it had become his prison. What was he being sentenced for?
He guessed the better question was when did he start feeling this way? He used to love being a cop and helping people. When had that changed? When they had moved? Being in the smaller town, he thought he would feel more like he was helping people. He didn’t.
Shaking his head, he walked to the bedroom door. He knew the time would come when he’d need to go on duty again, but he wasn’t ready yet.
With a deep breath and a sigh, he stomped down the stairs, his heavy steps his sign of reluctance.
“You up already?”
“Hey, hun,” he said, walking into the kitchen. Robyn was putting away groceries, breaking up the chicken breasts into individual Ziploc bags.
“You want to help me separate breasts?”
“I’ll gladly help you play with your breasts.” He stepped up behind her and made a playful grab for her chest.
“Down boy.” She shimmied away, laughing.
He watched her, pouting playfully, then grabbed one of the apples from the bowl on the table. He took a large bite as he leaned back on the counter.
“Any messages?” he asked as he chewed.
“Pastor Thomas called. He said it wasn’t important, but just wanted to check to make sure you’re okay and see if there’s anything he can do. He also kindly reminded me that I had promised to make some of my cinnamon twists for the potluck dinner this Sunday night.”
Robyn didn’t want to tell Rob she had actually gone to see the kindly young minister. Rob liked him, but knew he felt she spent too much time at the church lately. She couldn’t explain it, even to herself. In the last couple years, considering everything that had happened, going there made her feel better. She wasn’t sure it explained anything, but it helped quell some of the fears she had.
When she had spoken to the pastor, he had expressed concern about Rob, saying he wasn’t the only one who was worried. One of the local priests had also expressed his concerns to Pastor Thomas.
“Didn’t know you had offered.”
She broke herself out of her thoughts and smiled as she met Rob’s gaze. “I guess I got volunteered.”
“Okay.” His mood darkened as he watched her put the bags of chicken together in a larger bag before she put it in the freezer. “Well, I guess I’d better call county to see if they found anything.”
Robyn walked over and put her arms around him, placing her head on his chest. He held her tightly.
“You’ll find them,” she whispered.
He ran his hand through her hair, enjoying the feeling of her against him.
Jake came crashing through the door. “Hey, Mom! Can me and Chris head over to the park?”
“Whoa,” Rob said, quickly pulling away from her warmth, already missing it, as he looked at the two tornadoes barreling through the kitchen. “I’m not sure that’s—”
“Chris and I…,” Robyn said, talking over him.
Rob knew they should be on top of his grammar, but he couldn’t help it. He had heard“go”and“park”, already planning his rejection. Right now, hecouldn’t stand the thought of Jake being away from home. Not when Rob had to go out on patrol. Not when he wouldn’t be there to know that he was safe.
He looked at Jake, whose face fell as he turned to go back outside. He knew they’d play for a little longer, but if Jake couldn’t go with him, Chris would probably leave. That would leave Jake alone when his friend took off to play with the others. Chris had grown up there. While he played with Jake, his son didn’t really hang around with anybody else. He was still the outsider. Chris was Jake’s connection to those other kids.
“Wait,” Robyn said, catching the boys before they walked out the door. She turned and looked up at Rob, silently asking for his approval. He closed his eyes, fighting back the tears. “Rob, it’s just to the park, and Chris will be with him. I’m sure there will be other kids there, too. And...,” she said loudly so Jake could hear her, “I will be there in an hour to pick him up before it gets dark. He will be there and nowhere else when I get there.” She turned away from Rob, who grimaced, knowing he was losing this battle. She stared down at Jake. “You understand me?”
He nodded and, smiling broadly, he and Chris ran out the door.
Rob wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her to him.
“He’ll be okay,” she reassured him.
“I know.”
They stood there holding each other, swaying back and forth, letting the minute linger. These moments came less and less often. When they did, he never wanted to break it. He knew he had to, though.
“I better check in with county, make sure there’s no good news. If I’m working tonight, I’d better get moving. I need to check with Ms. Taylor to make sure they’re okay, maybe see if she came up with anything else that could help.”