by Jason Davis
“It’s fine. You still graduating early?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“You don’t have any idea what you’re going to do, do you?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Ally looked at him, an eyebrow raised. He couldn’t help but turn up the corner of his lip in what he felt was his best smile.
“What?”
“I’m going to sleep in my bed and eat my parents’ food.”
She chuckled a little. “Yeah. Your dad’s going to convert your room into a music studio the morning after you’ve graduated, and all your comic books are going to be out on the porch.”
“Yeah, well, he won’t know I’ll be living in the garage.”
“Um, he might when he gets his motorcycle out in the spring.”
“Nah. I’ll be on the other side of all the junk. There’s so much shit, I could live for a decade in there and nobody would notice.”
“You’re probably right.”
“I know it.”
When she caught his eyes, he saw it. That genuine smile he had hoped to see. There was his friend.
He reached out and eased his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She took off the seat belt and slid toward him. He sat sideways and kicked his legs out along the floor, letting her lay back against his chest. He pulled her closer, enjoying the familiar sensation of her warmth.
They both looked out at the woods. David could feel her chest rise and fall with each breath. He closed his eyes and leaned his cheek against the top of Ally’s head, feeling the fluff of hair, that little tickle in his nose from the loose strands.
“I can’t stand her.”
She said it so quietly, he had to strain to hear. “Your mom?”
“Yeah.”
“I know. Could be worse, though. Your dad could still be there.”
Ally laughed humorlessly, sitting up and looking at him. “You know what bomb she dropped on me tonight? What she has known all these years and hasn’t said anything?”
“What?”
“That bastard wasn’t even my dad. He wasn’t Mike’s or Bobby’s dad, either. Hell, I don’t even know why she was with that damn loser. She seems to go through guys like cigarettes.”
David wanted to defend Ally’s mom, but he wasn’t there to argue. It wasn’t something he really believed anyway. He knew the rumors of all the guys she’d been with. He had heard the stories, always making sure he never said anything when he was around Ally. There were just some things you never told your best friend. Besides, it wasn’t like he knew any of the stories to be true. He had never actually seen any of it, but if enough people said it, it was probably true. Where there was smoke, there was often fire.
His dad had once made a comment about it when he had seen her, which wasn’t often. David’s dad and Ally’s mom didn’t like to be around each other. It kind of felt like they had once had a thing. His dad would glance at her strangely, almost sad, then look away. When he’d look back, David would see the hard mask his father showed the world.
There was one time his dad was drunk, which wasn’t uncommon, and he saw bruises on Wendy’s arm…almost looking like a handprint.
“So sad what’s happened to her.”
“What?”
It had caught David by surprise. At the time, his dad was climbing into the driver’s seat of the car, David on the passenger side. His dad took his eyes off Wendy to look at him. They had just been to Ally’s dance recital, Wendy waiting outside for her to come out.
“Nothing.”
David should have just let it go. It was one of those rare nights they had gotten along, almost bonding. There wasn’t any fighting and, for a short time, David felt comfortable around his dad. Maybe that was what gave him the courage to ask his next question.
“What was she like before?”
David had only ever known the mother Ally couldn’t stand to be around. He had spent many nights hanging out with Ally in her room, listening to her mom and dad screaming back and forth. David couldn’t help but wonder what she was like before she had turned into a mean and bitter bitch.
His dad was silent. Not looking at him, he started the car and put it into gear, driving out of the parking lot, the only sound being the music that spilled out the gym doors whenever they were opened, blasting them with some god-awful pop song. He figured his dad wasn’t going to answer him.
It wasn’t until they had passed the last stop sign and were cruising on the back road that his dad spoke. Maybe it had taken him all that time to pull up the memories, to get past all the images of what Wendy had become.
“Wendy was a really good girl growing up. She went to church every week, even though her family didn’t. When that new pastor came to town, she got all fucked up.”
David looked into Ally’s eyes. He had always wondered what his dad had meant. There were always rumors she was with so many different men around town, especially when Ally’s dad worked second shift. If even half the rumors were true, he was sure Mrs. Taylor had caused many failed marriages.
He wondered what Ally had finally learned. Did some dark secrets come out?
“So who’s your dad?” he finally asked.
“I don’t know.” She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around her stomach, trying to hold herself together.
“But she said it wasn’t him?”
“She said he can’t have kids. Never could. Some birth defect. When he found out, he left her.”
“I thought she kicked him out.”
She shrugged. “Who knows. They both hated each other.”
She looked out at the dark sky, her thoughts floating among the clouds.
“So that means Bobby and Mikey weren’t his, either?“ David asked.
“Nope.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah.”
“And she wouldn’t say who your dad is?”
Ally shook her head, still looking up at those stars.
“Ally?” He reached out, placing his hand on her shoulder. She wouldn’t turn, but she cocked her head to the side, her cheek resting on the back of his hand. The warmth felt good. “Do you think maybe he came back and did something Bobby?”
She sniffed as she shook her head. “No, he’s gone. The police tracked him down. He’s been out of the state for the last month. There’s no way he could have come back and taken Bobby.”
“Okay.”
David didn’t know what to say, so he left it to sit there, hovering. Outside, the breeze bristled through the trees, and he felt the chill starting to creep in. The windows began to fog, their bodies too warm for the cool fall air.
“Thank you, David,” she said as she leaned back into him.
He raised his brows. “For what?”
“For being here.”
“Where else would I be?”
“Well, you didn’t have to pick me up.”
“Yeah, I did.”
She smirked. “Whatever.”
“I wasn’t going to let you go through this alone.”
“I know.”
“So why even make a big deal out of it.”
Ally sighed. “I don’t know.”
The silence hung between them. What did she really want? Was there something she was trying to say, or was he reading too much into it?
Oh, how he missed her. David had a hard time keeping that thought to himself as he shifted in order to not poke her in the back. Damn, why did his body have to betray him now? He couldn’t just be the friend he had always been. She needed him to listen, not be a guy.
But it was hard to push the images from his mind. The pale flesh he would like to feel. Her hair smelled like peaches, and he just wanted to breathe it in as he kissed along her neck.
He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, knowing the windows were fogging that much faster as he fought with his own desires. If this went on too much longer, he felt like he would have to take a quick swim in the cold water of Little Sandy. That cold water was sure to calm
any hot thoughts rattling their way through his thick skull.
“I guess we should be getting back,” Ally said.
“Yeah,” he croaked. He was barely able to say it, and it came out as a muffled whisper. Any louder and it would have betrayed how his voice floundered. David wanted to do several things, but driving back was not one. He wanted to turn her around and pull her in so their lips locked, allowing his tongue to meet hers.
“Okay then.”
“Yeah.”
She still hadn’t pulled away from him. Was she waiting for him to do something? Did she want something more?
No, he wasn’t going to go there, not when her brother was missing and her life was such a mess. She wasn’t in any condition to think about that right now.
When she pulled away, he turned himself in his seat and reached for the keys. The moment, whatever it was, had been shattered. It was time to get back.
CHAPTER 21
Wendy didn’t know where she was. Everything around her was dark. There was a flashing light somewhere in the distance, and she could hear a faint buzz and a ticking, like tapping on metal. She didn’t recognize any of it, and it didn’t make any sense.
Wait… I’m awake, but something’s wrong. What is it? It doesn’t matter. I’m okay. I’m safe. Right?
Something about that didn’t feel right. Yes, she was alone and it was dark, but she was still safe. So why was that wrong? Where was she and why was it so dark?
Because you haven’t opened your eyes, Wendy. You’re not fully awake yet, she thought.
She started to move, feeling the softness of the blanket around her. Her mother’s comforter clung to her, not wanting to let her go. She didn’t want to leave its warmth, either, but she had to get up. Someone needed her…
No, there wasn’t anyone who needed her anymore. Bobby was gone. Her mother was gone. Ally was gone. They were all gone. Her mother and Ally had both fought with her and left, but Bobby was missing. She needed to find him. He still needed her.
She opened her eyes and tried to sit up. She had fallen asleep on the couch. She could feel the metal bar that stretched across the center pushing into her body, making her back stiff. Damn, why did they have such an old couch? She should have tried to get a more comfortable used one. This one had been so old and uncomfortable when that son of a bitch found it on the curb ten years ago. The cushions were so faded and worn, you couldn’t tell what the original color had been.
There was a sharp pain in her back as she tried to roll to one side. It made her right leg tremble as she fought to hold down a scream.
How in the hell had that bastard slept on this damn thing? There was just no way he could do it and walk the next morning.
That bastard. Just how the fuck could he up and go. It didn’t matter what she had told him. It didn’t matter that he already knew most of it. He knew that as much as she yelled at him to go, she still needed him.
No, you don’t. You are stronger than that. You popped out two sons and a daughter, raising them alone. He was never truly there for them. Don’t start doing the pity party thing now. You don’t need him to get you through this.
There was that little voice again. The one that was always her cheerleader, telling her she could do it. There wasn’t any other choice. She had to.
But what if they never found Bobby? They never found Michael. Could the same thing have happened to Bobby?
She sniffled back the tears, raising her head. It felt so much heavier than it should be, and the fog that had stayed away while she lay there came flooding back. The world spun, and she quickly reached out to the arm of the couch, trying to keep it from slipping out from under her.
“Oh god,” she whispered. Her eyes tried to focus, but kept drifting to the flashing light across the room. It was blue, seeming so bright in the dark room. Why was it so dark in there?
She vaguely remembered talking to Ally earlier. The sun had been out then. They had fought again. It seemed like they always fought nowadays.
Wendy reached down, her hand knocking against something hard. She felt it move, then heard it thump to the floor.
The whiskey bottle. The pain and fog in her head seemed to make a little more sense as she tried to push herself up again, taking it a little slower this time to keep down the rising tide of nausea trying to force its way out. The couch felt like it was moving, even though the cushions were solid under her.
At least she hadn’t taken any pills while she had been drinking this time. She doubted she would have woken up if she’d taken any of her meds. She must be learning from some of her mistakes. One trip to the hospital and a suicide watch must have made her wise up a bit.
What had she and Ally been talking about? It had been about her father, hadn’t it? Not the bastard, but her biological father. Wendy didn’t think she had mentioned who it was, Ally didn’t need to know, although she did vaguely remember saying it wasn’t the bastard.
A click came from the kitchen, making her realize she had been listening to the hum of the refrigerator. It was the only sound in the house. As the hum faded away, the silence was almost unbearable.
She looked over at the flashing light. What is that? Squinting, she could see her phone. Someone must have left a voicemail. She wished she had changed that damn setting. It really was annoying when it flashed in the middle of the night.
Wait… Someone had left her a voicemail? Had they found Bobby?
She pushed herself up, past the waves of nausea flooding around her, and forced herself to stand. It almost worked. She made it up, but as she stood straight, everything spun faster. Her legs gave out and she came crashing back down onto the couch, the cushion giving out a large rush of air in protest.
There was no control. She hadn’t even felt it rising up in her, but she could feel herself heave, the contents of her stomach releasing. The world around her was so blurry, she didn’t even know if she were sitting up. She could feel the retched stuff spilling out of her and was probably covered in it. Did she even care? How did she ever get this bad?
A fresh wave of tears came back. Was this really her life now?
She wished Kurt were there. She needed someone to hold onto so she could feel like she wasn’t alone. But they had all left her. They were all gone, leaving her alone. Well, they could all just go and die, the bastards. Why did Ally have to leave her alone, though? She could at least have stayed and helped her mother get through this?
She knew her mom would come if she asked her to. They had fought earlier, but she would still come back. Yeah, but then she’d have to deal with the old nag telling her how much of a loser she was, always screwing up her life. The last thing Wendy needed right now was a reminder of just how much she had thrown away. Always marrying the wrong man, always doing the wrong thing. Why couldn’t she have stayed a good Christian woman instead of having kids out of wedlock?
Yeah, she wasn’t going to call her mother anytime soon. And Kurt leaving was a blessing. It had been a long time coming. She was certain he suspected the kids weren’t his for a while. Hell, half the town probably knew with how these prudes liked to talk. Yeah, he had to have known, choosing to ignore it until she finally had enough. They had been in one of their heated, drunken, throwing things at each other fights when she had finally let him have it. Let him know he wasn’t even man enough to spawn their kids. That his little kiddies didn’t like to flow down the chute.
He hadn’t taken it well, and neither had their dining room table when he flipped it. Damn bastard could have at least bought her a new one, but she knew he never would.
He had to have known. How could he not? Mikey and Bobby looked nothing like him, and Ally had been born six months after they started dating. Truthfully, that was the only reason she had started dating Kurt, she needed a baby daddy, but had he never done the math? She knew he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he had to have suspected something.
She wasn’t sure if he cared enough about the kids to come back for
them. He had raised them, had always been there for them. Sure, he’d been drunk and abusive most of the time, but he had been there.
She needed someone. There was just no way she could make it through this without someone by her side. Her babies were gone. There wasn’t going to be anyone to take care of her. She was all alone.
A shiver ran down her spine, the temperature in the room feeling like it had dropped. She sniffled back some of the tears, trying to wipe away the crust around her eyes. That pulsing in her head had come back. At least the pain pushed away some of the fogginess.
She looked down to see she was sitting up, the front of her robe covered in vomit. She could feel it on her skin, wrinkling her nose at the stench. That smell would never come out. She would have to burn the robe tomorrow.
That clicking sound… Probably the refrigerator going into defrost or whatever it did in the middle of the night. She could hear the rumble coming from the kitchen, but it sounded different. There was a shimmer and a dullness to the sound. She could hear it, but it was muffled.
It made her head swim again. She reached out for the end of the couch, using it to steady herself. It was coming. She couldn’t stop it. Another wave hit as she sat forward, the regurgitated alcohol splattering onto the floor. Wave after wave hit her. God, would it ever stop?
When it did, her stomach felt like it pulled in on itself. There wasn’t much left in her, and now her insides were trying to leave. Just like everything else, even her own body wanted to abandon her.
“Oh God. Why?”
She didn’t expect an answer. No one was there to hear her. Only the dark, empty house listened. Everyone else was gone.
“There is no God.”
Wendy looked up, her head spinning as she looked around the dark room. She had heard it. Someone had just said something. It sounded like… No, it couldn’t be, but it sounded like her baby. She looked. The house was dark, no one there.
“Hello?” she said, her voice shaking.
The clicking of the refrigerator faded away, the room getting quiet. Too quiet. Unnaturally quiet. It just felt wrong, darker somehow.
She still had her hand on the side of the couch, deciding to use it to try and stand. It probably wasn’t her best idea, but she felt like she needed to be on her feet. She had heard it…him. He was there. She just needed to look for him. He must be hiding somewhere. Maybe behind the chair on the other side of the living room. That ungodly large chair she had always said needed to be thrown out. He was there. He had to be.