by Jane Austen
Chapter 20
Sir Walter, his two daughters, and Mrs Clay, were the earliest of alltheir party at the rooms in the evening; and as Lady Dalrymple must bewaited for, they took their station by one of the fires in the OctagonRoom. But hardly were they so settled, when the door opened again, andCaptain Wentworth walked in alone. Anne was the nearest to him, andmaking yet a little advance, she instantly spoke. He was preparingonly to bow and pass on, but her gentle "How do you do?" brought himout of the straight line to stand near her, and make enquiries inreturn, in spite of the formidable father and sister in the background. Their being in the back ground was a support to Anne; she knewnothing of their looks, and felt equal to everything which she believedright to be done.
While they were speaking, a whispering between her father and Elizabethcaught her ear. She could not distinguish, but she must guess thesubject; and on Captain Wentworth's making a distant bow, shecomprehended that her father had judged so well as to give him thatsimple acknowledgement of acquaintance, and she was just in time by aside glance to see a slight curtsey from Elizabeth herself. This,though late, and reluctant, and ungracious, was yet better thannothing, and her spirits improved.
After talking, however, of the weather, and Bath, and the concert,their conversation began to flag, and so little was said at last, thatshe was expecting him to go every moment, but he did not; he seemed inno hurry to leave her; and presently with renewed spirit, with a littlesmile, a little glow, he said--
"I have hardly seen you since our day at Lyme. I am afraid you musthave suffered from the shock, and the more from its not overpoweringyou at the time."
She assured him that she had not.
"It was a frightful hour," said he, "a frightful day!" and he passedhis hand across his eyes, as if the remembrance were still too painful,but in a moment, half smiling again, added, "The day has produced someeffects however; has had some consequences which must be considered asthe very reverse of frightful. When you had the presence of mind tosuggest that Benwick would be the properest person to fetch a surgeon,you could have little idea of his being eventually one of those mostconcerned in her recovery."
"Certainly I could have none. But it appears--I should hope it wouldbe a very happy match. There are on both sides good principles andgood temper."
"Yes," said he, looking not exactly forward; "but there, I think, endsthe resemblance. With all my soul I wish them happy, and rejoice overevery circumstance in favour of it. They have no difficulties tocontend with at home, no opposition, no caprice, no delays. TheMusgroves are behaving like themselves, most honourably and kindly,only anxious with true parental hearts to promote their daughter'scomfort. All this is much, very much in favour of their happiness;more than perhaps--"
He stopped. A sudden recollection seemed to occur, and to give himsome taste of that emotion which was reddening Anne's cheeks and fixingher eyes on the ground. After clearing his throat, however, heproceeded thus--
"I confess that I do think there is a disparity, too great a disparity,and in a point no less essential than mind. I regard Louisa Musgroveas a very amiable, sweet-tempered girl, and not deficient inunderstanding, but Benwick is something more. He is a clever man, areading man; and I confess, that I do consider his attaching himself toher with some surprise. Had it been the effect of gratitude, had helearnt to love her, because he believed her to be preferring him, itwould have been another thing. But I have no reason to suppose it so.It seems, on the contrary, to have been a perfectly spontaneous,untaught feeling on his side, and this surprises me. A man like him,in his situation! with a heart pierced, wounded, almost broken! FannyHarville was a very superior creature, and his attachment to her wasindeed attachment. A man does not recover from such a devotion of theheart to such a woman. He ought not; he does not."
Either from the consciousness, however, that his friend had recovered,or from other consciousness, he went no farther; and Anne who, in spiteof the agitated voice in which the latter part had been uttered, and inspite of all the various noises of the room, the almost ceaseless slamof the door, and ceaseless buzz of persons walking through, haddistinguished every word, was struck, gratified, confused, andbeginning to breathe very quick, and feel an hundred things in amoment. It was impossible for her to enter on such a subject; and yet,after a pause, feeling the necessity of speaking, and having not thesmallest wish for a total change, she only deviated so far as to say--
"You were a good while at Lyme, I think?"
"About a fortnight. I could not leave it till Louisa's doing well wasquite ascertained. I had been too deeply concerned in the mischief tobe soon at peace. It had been my doing, solely mine. She would nothave been obstinate if I had not been weak. The country round Lyme isvery fine. I walked and rode a great deal; and the more I saw, themore I found to admire."
"I should very much like to see Lyme again," said Anne.
"Indeed! I should not have supposed that you could have found anythingin Lyme to inspire such a feeling. The horror and distress you wereinvolved in, the stretch of mind, the wear of spirits! I should havethought your last impressions of Lyme must have been strong disgust."
"The last hours were certainly very painful," replied Anne; "but whenpain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure. One doesnot love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has beenall suffering, nothing but suffering, which was by no means the case atLyme. We were only in anxiety and distress during the last two hours,and previously there had been a great deal of enjoyment. So muchnovelty and beauty! I have travelled so little, that every fresh placewould be interesting to me; but there is real beauty at Lyme; and inshort" (with a faint blush at some recollections), "altogether myimpressions of the place are very agreeable."
As she ceased, the entrance door opened again, and the very partyappeared for whom they were waiting. "Lady Dalrymple, Lady Dalrymple,"was the rejoicing sound; and with all the eagerness compatible withanxious elegance, Sir Walter and his two ladies stepped forward to meether. Lady Dalrymple and Miss Carteret, escorted by Mr Elliot andColonel Wallis, who had happened to arrive nearly at the same instant,advanced into the room. The others joined them, and it was a group inwhich Anne found herself also necessarily included. She was dividedfrom Captain Wentworth. Their interesting, almost too interestingconversation must be broken up for a time, but slight was the penancecompared with the happiness which brought it on! She had learnt, inthe last ten minutes, more of his feelings towards Louisa, more of allhis feelings than she dared to think of; and she gave herself up to thedemands of the party, to the needful civilities of the moment, withexquisite, though agitated sensations. She was in good humour withall. She had received ideas which disposed her to be courteous andkind to all, and to pity every one, as being less happy than herself.
The delightful emotions were a little subdued, when on stepping backfrom the group, to be joined again by Captain Wentworth, she saw thathe was gone. She was just in time to see him turn into the ConcertRoom. He was gone; he had disappeared, she felt a moment's regret.But "they should meet again. He would look for her, he would find herout before the evening were over, and at present, perhaps, it was aswell to be asunder. She was in need of a little interval forrecollection."
Upon Lady Russell's appearance soon afterwards, the whole party wascollected, and all that remained was to marshal themselves, and proceedinto the Concert Room; and be of all the consequence in their power,draw as many eyes, excite as many whispers, and disturb as many peopleas they could.
Very, very happy were both Elizabeth and Anne Elliot as they walked in.Elizabeth arm in arm with Miss Carteret, and looking on the broad backof the dowager Viscountess Dalrymple before her, had nothing to wishfor which did not seem within her reach; and Anne--but it would be aninsult to the nature of Anne's felicity, to draw any comparison betweenit and her sister's; the origin of one all selfish vanity, of the otherall generous attachment.
Anne saw nothing,
thought nothing of the brilliancy of the room. Herhappiness was from within. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks glowed;but she knew nothing about it. She was thinking only of the last halfhour, and as they passed to their seats, her mind took a hasty rangeover it. His choice of subjects, his expressions, and still more hismanner and look, had been such as she could see in only one light. Hisopinion of Louisa Musgrove's inferiority, an opinion which he hadseemed solicitous to give, his wonder at Captain Benwick, his feelingsas to a first, strong attachment; sentences begun which he could notfinish, his half averted eyes and more than half expressive glance,all, all declared that he had a heart returning to her at least; thatanger, resentment, avoidance, were no more; and that they weresucceeded, not merely by friendship and regard, but by the tendernessof the past. Yes, some share of the tenderness of the past. She couldnot contemplate the change as implying less. He must love her.
These were thoughts, with their attendant visions, which occupied andflurried her too much to leave her any power of observation; and shepassed along the room without having a glimpse of him, without eventrying to discern him. When their places were determined on, and theywere all properly arranged, she looked round to see if he should happento be in the same part of the room, but he was not; her eye could notreach him; and the concert being just opening, she must consent for atime to be happy in a humbler way.
The party was divided and disposed of on two contiguous benches: Annewas among those on the foremost, and Mr Elliot had manoeuvred so well,with the assistance of his friend Colonel Wallis, as to have a seat byher. Miss Elliot, surrounded by her cousins, and the principal objectof Colonel Wallis's gallantry, was quite contented.
Anne's mind was in a most favourable state for the entertainment of theevening; it was just occupation enough: she had feelings for thetender, spirits for the gay, attention for the scientific, and patiencefor the wearisome; and had never liked a concert better, at leastduring the first act. Towards the close of it, in the intervalsucceeding an Italian song, she explained the words of the song to MrElliot. They had a concert bill between them.
"This," said she, "is nearly the sense, or rather the meaning of thewords, for certainly the sense of an Italian love-song must not betalked of, but it is as nearly the meaning as I can give; for I do notpretend to understand the language. I am a very poor Italian scholar."
"Yes, yes, I see you are. I see you know nothing of the matter. Youhave only knowledge enough of the language to translate at sight theseinverted, transposed, curtailed Italian lines, into clear,comprehensible, elegant English. You need not say anything more ofyour ignorance. Here is complete proof."
"I will not oppose such kind politeness; but I should be sorry to beexamined by a real proficient."
"I have not had the pleasure of visiting in Camden Place so long,"replied he, "without knowing something of Miss Anne Elliot; and I doregard her as one who is too modest for the world in general to beaware of half her accomplishments, and too highly accomplished formodesty to be natural in any other woman."
"For shame! for shame! this is too much flattery. I forget what we areto have next," turning to the bill.
"Perhaps," said Mr Elliot, speaking low, "I have had a longeracquaintance with your character than you are aware of."
"Indeed! How so? You can have been acquainted with it only since Icame to Bath, excepting as you might hear me previously spoken of in myown family."
"I knew you by report long before you came to Bath. I had heard youdescribed by those who knew you intimately. I have been acquaintedwith you by character many years. Your person, your disposition,accomplishments, manner; they were all present to me."
Mr Elliot was not disappointed in the interest he hoped to raise. Noone can withstand the charm of such a mystery. To have been describedlong ago to a recent acquaintance, by nameless people, is irresistible;and Anne was all curiosity. She wondered, and questioned him eagerly;but in vain. He delighted in being asked, but he would not tell.
"No, no, some time or other, perhaps, but not now. He would mention nonames now; but such, he could assure her, had been the fact. He hadmany years ago received such a description of Miss Anne Elliot as hadinspired him with the highest idea of her merit, and excited thewarmest curiosity to know her."
Anne could think of no one so likely to have spoken with partiality ofher many years ago as the Mr Wentworth of Monkford, Captain Wentworth'sbrother. He might have been in Mr Elliot's company, but she had notcourage to ask the question.
"The name of Anne Elliot," said he, "has long had an interesting soundto me. Very long has it possessed a charm over my fancy; and, if Idared, I would breathe my wishes that the name might never change."
Such, she believed, were his words; but scarcely had she received theirsound, than her attention was caught by other sounds immediately behindher, which rendered every thing else trivial. Her father and LadyDalrymple were speaking.
"A well-looking man," said Sir Walter, "a very well-looking man."
"A very fine young man indeed!" said Lady Dalrymple. "More air thanone often sees in Bath. Irish, I dare say."
"No, I just know his name. A bowing acquaintance. Wentworth; CaptainWentworth of the navy. His sister married my tenant in Somersetshire,the Croft, who rents Kellynch."
Before Sir Walter had reached this point, Anne's eyes had caught theright direction, and distinguished Captain Wentworth standing among acluster of men at a little distance. As her eyes fell on him, hisseemed to be withdrawn from her. It had that appearance. It seemed asif she had been one moment too late; and as long as she dared observe,he did not look again: but the performance was recommencing, and shewas forced to seem to restore her attention to the orchestra and lookstraight forward.
When she could give another glance, he had moved away. He could nothave come nearer to her if he would; she was so surrounded and shut in:but she would rather have caught his eye.
Mr Elliot's speech, too, distressed her. She had no longer anyinclination to talk to him. She wished him not so near her.
The first act was over. Now she hoped for some beneficial change; and,after a period of nothing-saying amongst the party, some of them diddecide on going in quest of tea. Anne was one of the few who did notchoose to move. She remained in her seat, and so did Lady Russell; butshe had the pleasure of getting rid of Mr Elliot; and she did not mean,whatever she might feel on Lady Russell's account, to shrink fromconversation with Captain Wentworth, if he gave her the opportunity.She was persuaded by Lady Russell's countenance that she had seen him.
He did not come however. Anne sometimes fancied she discerned him at adistance, but he never came. The anxious interval wore awayunproductively. The others returned, the room filled again, bencheswere reclaimed and repossessed, and another hour of pleasure or ofpenance was to be sat out, another hour of music was to give delight orthe gapes, as real or affected taste for it prevailed. To Anne, itchiefly wore the prospect of an hour of agitation. She could not quitthat room in peace without seeing Captain Wentworth once more, withoutthe interchange of one friendly look.
In re-settling themselves there were now many changes, the result ofwhich was favourable for her. Colonel Wallis declined sitting downagain, and Mr Elliot was invited by Elizabeth and Miss Carteret, in amanner not to be refused, to sit between them; and by some otherremovals, and a little scheming of her own, Anne was enabled to placeherself much nearer the end of the bench than she had been before, muchmore within reach of a passer-by. She could not do so, withoutcomparing herself with Miss Larolles, the inimitable Miss Larolles; butstill she did it, and not with much happier effect; though by whatseemed prosperity in the shape of an early abdication in her nextneighbours, she found herself at the very end of the bench before theconcert closed.
Such was her situation, with a vacant space at hand, when CaptainWentworth was again in sight. She saw him not far off. He saw hertoo; yet he looked grave, and seemed irresolute, and only by very slow
degrees came at last near enough to speak to her. She felt thatsomething must be the matter. The change was indubitable. Thedifference between his present air and what it had been in the OctagonRoom was strikingly great. Why was it? She thought of her father, ofLady Russell. Could there have been any unpleasant glances? He beganby speaking of the concert gravely, more like the Captain Wentworth ofUppercross; owned himself disappointed, had expected singing; and inshort, must confess that he should not be sorry when it was over. Annereplied, and spoke in defence of the performance so well, and yet inallowance for his feelings so pleasantly, that his countenanceimproved, and he replied again with almost a smile. They talked for afew minutes more; the improvement held; he even looked down towards thebench, as if he saw a place on it well worth occupying; when at thatmoment a touch on her shoulder obliged Anne to turn round. It camefrom Mr Elliot. He begged her pardon, but she must be applied to, toexplain Italian again. Miss Carteret was very anxious to have ageneral idea of what was next to be sung. Anne could not refuse; butnever had she sacrificed to politeness with a more suffering spirit.
A few minutes, though as few as possible, were inevitably consumed; andwhen her own mistress again, when able to turn and look as she had donebefore, she found herself accosted by Captain Wentworth, in a reservedyet hurried sort of farewell. "He must wish her good night; he wasgoing; he should get home as fast as he could."
"Is not this song worth staying for?" said Anne, suddenly struck by anidea which made her yet more anxious to be encouraging.
"No!" he replied impressively, "there is nothing worth my staying for;"and he was gone directly.
Jealousy of Mr Elliot! It was the only intelligible motive. CaptainWentworth jealous of her affection! Could she have believed it a weekago; three hours ago! For a moment the gratification was exquisite.But, alas! there were very different thoughts to succeed. How was suchjealousy to be quieted? How was the truth to reach him? How, in allthe peculiar disadvantages of their respective situations, would heever learn of her real sentiments? It was misery to think of MrElliot's attentions. Their evil was incalculable.