Groaning as she bounced along, her body ached to the bones. The fever burned more than the worst flu she had ever had. Laima drove with Marita riding passenger. Both were silent.
With sticky eyes, Sarma tried to open her lids, but couldn’t. Her mind was a murky haze, but she sensed someone’s presence and vaguely remembered Laima.
“Thirsty.” She mouthed the word, but nothing came out. Her achy body tensed with fear. How would Laima understand her?
She was burning hot and smacked her lips.
Laima figured out what she wanted and brought something to drink. Sarma trembled when Laima lifted her head. The drink tasted bitter, but she downed it. Anything felt better than her parched throat. The tea dampened her mouth. She tried to drink more, but Laima removed it.
“Pietiek.” Enough.
Sarma didn't know what it meant and smacked her lips for more. Not getting another sip, she fell back into a heated stupor.
~ * ~
Reinis jammed on the brakes of his Audi, and parked in the closest available spot. He shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be thinking about Sarma, let alone showing up at their Zolitūde apartment. His mother would kill him when he arrived upstairs but he couldn’t stop himself. Couldn’t resist the magnetic pull between Sarma and him. The consequences harped at his mind, but nothing mattered. He had to see her one last time. Had to risk his mother and the coven’s punishment.
His heart thumped in his chest, and it filled with an unfamiliar warmth he’d never experienced before. A sensation that made him so aware of Sarma she could be standing next to him. Except it was deeper than that. Something had gone wrong with her, yet no one had to tell him. He didn’t understand why but somehow he just knew.
The elevator and his legs pumping down the hall couldn’t move fast enough. Maybe he made the trip for nothing. Maybe Laima wouldn’t even be there. But where else would she go? Sarma had to return to Riga. Didn’t she? He prayed to Dievs, Mara, and Laima to allow him to see her. One last time.
He slid his key into the lock on the door and swung the door open. No one stood inside but Laima’s melodic voice sang through the apartment. Without further thought, he rushed into the bedroom. On entering, his hands flung up and he grasped his forehead. He couldn’t believe how pasty and green Sarma appeared. What happened to her? He rushed to her side.
“Reinis.” Laima spun around and whispered in a harsh tone. She reached out, but before she could stop him, he made it to Sarma. “Don’t touch her! You must go.”
Sarma stirred.
“What's wrong with you? You did your job.”
Reinis kneeled by Sarma, wringing his hands. He didn't move, only stared at her. Was he the cause of this? Their act together? Is this what happened to bestowers? But she wasn’t a simple bestower. She already meant much more to him. And now his shrewd mother saw that.
His mother pulled him away from the bedside. “What is going on?”
“Mammu, I felt her sickness. I needed to be sure nothing bad happened to her.”
She turned him toward her, a crease in her brow. “She’s fine. Auseklis will be a strong baby so her system fights the conception. Even with normal babies, the vampire gene sickens the human mothers, but I already treated her with teas. So don’t worry. You need to leave and feed as badly as I do. You can't have her.”
“I fed last night. You're the one who’s hungry.”
“Leave. She needs to forget you. What’s with you? You’ve never cared about bestowers before.”
Reinis had experienced her sickness. No doubt about it. He faced Sirsniņa and cupped her face in his hands. He couldn’t take another moment of this. An urge to hold her in his arms and feed her his blood engulfed him. His need shocked him. He wanted to heal her as if she were a heartmate. But they weren’t. What was happening to him?
“Reinis, stop this instant!” Laima’s voice rang out. She carefully removed his hands and raked him away from the bed.
“I can’t see her like this.”
“We can't stop the way things are. Humans have done us enough harm, and we can't be with them. They never accept our ways, and you know we don't convert them anymore. They lose their minds. So forget her.”
Forget her? Heat flooded his body. He ripped his arms out of his mother’s grip, and almost punched the wall beside them. Only because she slept did he catch himself. He could never forget a woman like Sarma.
“She's not like any other woman, mammu. I felt her inside me.” He buried his face in his hands.
“What have you done? I feel and see that glimmer in your chest.” Her pupils contracted, her teeth shot out. “Are you out of your mind? You should never have imprinted her. Never. Imprinting is meant for a heartmate. Any contact, any touch, any words exchanged would cause the imprint to grow stronger. You can't be with a full blood human!” She held him by the upper arms, staring him in the face. Reinis angled away. “Auseklis is our only way. You cannot jeopardize him. Leave now. We’ll talk later.”
“You and I both know there is nothing to talk about,” he growled.
Sarma shifted, flipped over, and opened her eyes.
“Reinis?” Her weak, raspy voice spoke her first word.
“Go now. This is what I didn't want to happen.” Laima pushed him through the door.
“How does she communicate with you?”
“I don't need words to heal. Ārā.” Out, she said bluntly. “Go now.”
“I'm sorry. I won't come back.”
“Reinis?” Sarma called out again from the other room.
“I know how you feel. It’s hard to lose the one—” She stopped abruptly, her eyes blinking away the tears. “For the good of us all, please go. You don’t want Sarma to suffer any more than she has to.” She pushed him through the door and shut it quietly.
Reinis bounded down the stairs this time, taking them two at time. Fucking hell. His visit was an error, and yet he felt no remorse. Grief gashed Reinis’ heart. He could punch a brick wall. Sarma would never be his. And to see her so weak. So ill and not be able to do a damn thing about it.
Plus, it hurt to be angry with his mother. He regretted that he had turned away from Sarma without glancing back. He wished he had stared at her one last time because he would never see her again. He wanted to return to the same aloof disinterest he maintained with the others. He wanted to kill his feelings for Sarma.
He regretted leaving Laima. She was on the edge of collapse. She needed blood, and he should have fed her, but Sarma awoke. He had imprinted her, it was evident now, and staying there drew her out of sickness and sleep. The presence of an imprinted companion was the best healer for a sick heartmate. But Sarma wasn’t his heartmate. Imprinting alone didn’t make it so. There had to be an agreement between two vampires, yet Sarma wasn’t a vampire. Still, he hoped she would heal faster even if he made a mistake.
Tormented he couldn't be with her, he wandered through the streets not noticing the people. Every sound screeched in his ears. As if he was a pack mule, grief rode heavy on his back. What had he done? He had revealed his feelings to his mother, a coven elder, who could tell other elders. He respected Laima and the hierarchy. In a moment like this, he feared their power. She wouldn't want to hurt him, but she would go to the elders. She didn’t have a choice. And that would mean death. His legs quaked with weakness as he drifted the streets. Underneath her anger, he sensed her fears. She didn't want him to die or to suffer the way she had, and they shared the same priority—the continuance of their species.
Reinis roamed until he reached the Daugava and sat on a bench. He wished he could return to his village outside Liepaja to be closer to the forest, but this would have to do. He couldn’t leave Riga knowing Sarma was ill. It infuriated him to see Sarma sapped. Worse, he risked everything for a selfish desire.
~ * ~
Sarma was famished. Laima sang her songs and smiled while she fed her broth. Though it was awkward for her to be alone with a stranger, Laima's eyes and actions conveyed trust
and affection. She felt at home with Laima, and her weak limbs strengthened.
After three days, Sarma took a shower. Where did she end up? Seemed like Laima’s place but she couldn’t remember a thing. The food and tea were healing. Her vision returned to normal, and the fever receded. With the hot water running through her hair, she shook out the worry that had tightened her shoulders. Where did she pick up the sickness? Maybe from staying out in the cold all night? Her recollection was foggy. Then the memory hit her as if she hurtled to the ground with a broken parachute. Reinis. What had she done? She slept with a stranger and didn’t use protection. What if her birth control failed? What about diseases?
She didn’t feel only physical attraction to Reinis. He fulfilled her on some level she wasn’t aware existed. Made her long for him as if they’d spent days, not hours together. His masculine scent, his powerful muscles beneath her hands, the way he kissed her. Their conversation flowed in a quaint way that made her want to giggle even now. How could she allow herself to get so close, so attached to someone she’d never see again? Fear layered with confusion hung like a darkened cloud. Although an unfamiliar, oddly pleasurable sensation buzzed in her chest.
Physically, her body had strengthened, but emotionally, she was torn. In a few days, she’d board a plane, and leave the only person she ever really wanted to be with. How could this happen? She needed him now. Wished he would come, and say he wanted to be with her. To tell her not to leave Latvia so they could get to know each other better. Spend more time together. But none of that was possible. She was a one night stand on a vacation. Destined to be forgotten.
Frigid sadness blasted the center of her heart. She dried off, headed back to bed, and pulled the covers close. Despite the magical experience with Reinis, the whole ordeal was a horrible mistake.
That afternoon, Sarma asked Marita about how she ended up in Riga again. And at Laima’s apartment. Their vacation neared its end, and they needed to pack.
“You got the flu and sleeping outside made it worse. Laima brought you to her place because she had all her supplies here,” Marita told her.
Sarma stared out the window, her eyes vacant and distant. How did she get the flu? No one they had contact with had been sick. She sighed. Guess it didn’t matter now. Her whole vacation turned out to be a disaster. Laima glanced at them both then ducked into the kitchen.
“Are you still mad at me? I mean if you are, I totally get it.” Marita sat on the edge of the bed. “Sarma. I get it. I’m an ass. A selfish idiot. I'm apologizing.”
A bird darted through the grey sky.
“Sarma. Please. I don't like seeing you like this.” Marita leaned toward her friend.
She didn't care about Marita ditching her anymore. “Quit apologizing. You suck, but I'll get over it. It's not the first time you’ve done something like this. If you weren't my only true buddy and sister, I wouldn't be friends with you anymore. But forget it.” Sarma crossed her arms. “I’ve got bigger issues on my mind. I did something terrible. Something worse than you leaving me.”
Marita said nothing but grasped Sarma’s hand.
“I really, really messed up.” Sarma pressed her face into the pillow wishing she could cry but felt too empty inside to do so.
“You can tell me. I might be a jerk, but I won't judge you.” Marita squeezed her hand.
“I slept with him—the guy from the club,” Sarma whispered in a tone that sounded far off.
“What? When?”
Sarma let her words gush as she told the story.
“Was he good? You know. Like that?” Marita giggled.
“Are you stupid?” Sarma sniped and blushed at the same time. “I slept with a total stranger, and that's what you have to say? I’m not like you. I’ve never done something crazy like this.” She paused a moment “Marita,” she said quietly. “He was the best. I mean, he was . . . incredible.” Sarma buried her face in the pillow again, a hidden smile on her lips.
“So what's the problem?” Marita withdrew her smile. “You lived for once. That’s a good thing.”
“I feel so weird, knowing I’ll never see him again.”
“You're not the first or the last woman to sleep with a random guy while on vacation. Big deal. It not the end of the world. Good thing you dumped Derek.” Marita stood, her expression serious, her hands squared on her hips.
“That's supposed to make me feel better?” Sarma threw the pillow at Marita. “The real problem though…I liked him too much. How am I supposed to forget him?”
Chapter 13
Reinis’ head pounded and he itched to punch someone in the face. Laima and he sprawled out under the night sky in a field outside of the city of Liepaja. Three hours by car from Riga wasn’t far enough away from his cousins and was way too far from Sirsniņa. They had returned to their home village, Nica, after Laima assured him Sarma was strong enough to be alone. Reinis ached with exhaustion. Sarma’s illness left him feeling drained of blood. Through the imprint, he sensed her physical state improved, but their exchange left her bitter and confused. He should be with her right now, not here in Nica.
Something rustled in the grass. Reinis lifted his head and sniffed the air. Ilze and Andis? He wasn't in the mood. They’d been quiet since Salacgriva. No. Someone else made so much noise.
“Velta. Come out of the shadows. We're not angry with you,” he called out. “I can smell you. I know you're there.”
Velta stepped from the shadows dressed in her usual tight jeans, heels, and blouse.
“Learn to walk quieter. Your victims can hear you coming.” Reinis referred to her abilities, which despite being a full blood, had never fully developed. “How can you walk in those shoes in this grass?”
“My victims don't need me to be quiet. I'm good enough at mind control and wiping down memories, thank you. And what do you care about my heels?” Velta towered above them, eyes outlined with purple glitter eyeliner, her long hair pulled back in a ponytail.
“Come lie down and relax. You look tired.” Laima lifted her head and patted the grass.
Velta crossed her arms and remained standing.
“You want us to beg?” Reinis spat the words.
“What I want is my place in this family. Auseklis was supposed to be born from me, not a human,” Velta hissed, her teeth extending in anger.
“You can't birth him. You're not the one seen in the dreams,” Reinis shouted. Had Velta come to expose him?
“How do you know? Did you dream?” Velta loomed over Reinis, the volume of her voice shot up.
“If we didn't find her it would be the end of our kind!” He pounced up, pressing his face to hers. Velta could be so damn stubborn.
“You think you know so much, Reinis. You might be older but not wiser. You don’t dream yet.” Velta pushed him away.
Laima roared to her feet willing their bodies apart.
“Pietiek!” Enough. “I won't have my children fighting. We suffer enough without dissension between ourselves. Dita’s choices landed us in this position. Conflict between us is what she wants.”
Ancient and powerful, at seven hundred years old, Laima could overpower them both in a split second. They backed off.
Velta slinked away and leaned against a tree. She eyed her brother and mother; her arms crossed again.
“Reinis. Control your emotions. Velta’s younger than you. You're the one who needs to lead.” Laima faced him. They were almost the same height.
“Come here.” Laima beckoned Velta to move closer.
Velta approached her mother, falling into Laima’s embrace. Sobbing with rage, Velta heaved in her mother’s arms.
“How do you know I'm not Auseklis’ mother? There's still time. I haven't found a heartmate yet. What if a male is supposed to bring me Auseklis?”
The dreams were indisputable. But Velta was inconsolable. He sensed Laima transmit calm to Velta through her hands, but from experience, it would have no effect. He didn’t have a right to snap at her. Staring a
t his sister who had weak mindguards, he sensed old pain in her, a deeper struggle she couldn’t articulate.
“I'm sorry for the things I said. I know your pain. It wasn’t fair of me.” Reinis grasped her arm.
“Don't touch me. You can't know how I feel,” she howled.
He stepped back. Typical response. There was nothing left to do. Together they lay on the grass. While Velta rested her head in their mother's lap, he stared at the stars above and tried not to think of Sarma. Velta slept for a while, and when she awoke, she said nothing.
Velta allowed Laima to braid her hair, but as soon as their mother tied the end of the braids, she sat up and pulled away. Seated, she held her knees close to her chest.
Reinis scanned them and sensed an intensity seeping from his mother’s pores. That meant only one thing. Velta was in for it.
“I know you’re angry, and I don't blame you,” Laima started in. “But I have a duty to our coven, and you do too. Never, ever, intervene with the elders or the path that must be taken. I may be your mother, but I am an elder, and I must follow our edicts.” Laima focused on Velta who did not avert her eyes. “Do not repeat what you did with the eggs on Midsummer's Eve.”
Reinis stomach sank. Velta’s abilities were growing. From his mother’s insinuation, something bad had occurred that involved Sarma. If Velta hurt her . . . he would . . . he would . . . he could do nothing because his job had ended.
Velta tugged the ends of her hair and hugged her legs tighter. “A little prank, nothing more.” She laughed a hollow, low laugh.
“This is not a game. You could have destroyed our opportunity. You knew the conception had to occur on a solstice.” Laima’s teeth grew, not from hunger or passion, but from the gravity of her words. “Your abilities are for healing, not destruction. The fire that grows is the one you feed.”
Forbidden Darkness (Immortal Desire Series Book 1) Page 9