“Sorry, I was…busy.” Marita side-glanced Gatis with a smirk. “You should come with us.”
“Marita has told me all about you.” Gatis said. “She’s a lucky woman to have a friend like you.” He glanced around the living room with one hand on Marita’s bare shoulder.
“Where’re you headed?” Sarma smiled.
“Wine tasting.” Marita smiled.
“Can’t drink,” Sarma offered.
“We could change our plans. Things weren’t set. Whatever you want. Marita doesn’t want to leave you alone,” Gatis interjected.
“Time to get out of the house. It will be good for you.” Marita tugged on Sarma’s hand.
“That’s really sweet of you guys, and I appreciate the invite, but not today.” Gatis’ gesture made her feel better. Marita finally picked a thoughtful guy.
“Aw c’mon. Get out of your head for a few hours,” Marita pleaded.
“Really, today doesn’t work.”
“Next time we won’t let her say no, right, Marita?” Gatis shook Sarma’s hand again.
“I hope you feel better.” Marita nodded.
“Thank you. Have a good time, guys,” Sarma replied.
“I'll call you later then.” Marita hugged Sarma.
Sarma walked them outside. When she passed through the front door, a harsh wave of dizziness rammed her. She grasped the door frame. Cold sweat broke out over her face, and stabbing pain shot through her lower abdomen. Wrenching herself off the door, she dragged herself to the bathroom. She plopped on the toilet and doubled over.
Tears in her eyes, she called the doctor’s office. The doctor on call gave her a choice of resting until Monday or heading to the ER.
Annoyed, Sarma managed to reach the couch, close her eyes, and fall asleep.
Reinis stood by her side, caressing her cheek, kissing her forehead. His mouth moved but she couldn't hear the words. He wrapped his strong arms around her. She breathed in his comfort, the scent of the ocean, and pine trees. When he pulled away, she read the distress on his face. He shook his head with sadness.
Sarma heaved awake. Cramping pain radiated through her lower back. The light was on, but it had darkened outside. Her thighs were sticky and wet. She reached out for Reinis. A jolt of agony shot through her middle. Blood on the tips of her fingers. She cried out and fumbled for her cell. With shaky fingers, she punched 911. Within minutes, an ambulance was on its way.
Sarma woke up with no one at her side, her body hooked up to machines and an IV. The hospital room was low lit. She was clean now, but her heart sank knowing something was wrong. Very wrong. She squeezed her eyelids closed to shut out her surroundings.
Every pore in her body screamed for her to leave. She didn’t want to believe she found herself here. Staff came in and out, taking her vitals, speaking in a level, mechanical manner, not stopping. Where was her cell phone? She scanned the room but didn’t see her purse. Frustrated, she grabbed the hospital phone and dialed Marita—but no one answered. A wave of panic swamped her. No one knew where she was.
Who really cared, anyway?
Cramping in her lower back kept her awake though she yearned to sleep. She didn't know the time, but it felt late. The bed across the aisle sat as empty as her hollow heart and her body twitched from head to toe with pain. She sobbed until she drenched the pillow knowing the worst had happened. She lost the baby. She restlessly tossed around until exhaustion sucked her into sleep.
Reinis returned. Even in her sleep, her body remained tense with fear in the hospital bed. He held her hand, his expression kind. Laima stood behind him singing a song that calmed Sarma. Reinis embraced and rocked her in his arms, caressing her hair, kissing her forehead. His hands were gentle and loving as they relaxed her body. Laima went around the side of the bed and combed Sarma’s hair, braiding it. Reinis kissed her again, this time on the lips. She reached out to take his hand. . .
For a moment, she had the luxury of not remembering where she was. But the flickering lights and the beeping of the machines stood as a stark reminder. A tear slid down her cheek. She reflected on the dream. Reinis’ kiss. So kind. So tender. She closed her eyes and sunk into the soft scent of the ocean, pine trees fluttering. If only Reinis were here now. She ran her fingers through her hair.
Wait. How did her hair get braided?
She pushed the nurse alert button and asked if anyone had been in the room. The nurse appeared puzzled. There were no visitors, and no staff had been in the room for an hour.
Then it hit.
“My baby?” Sarma whimpered, her heart heavy with grief.
“Let’s rest now. How’s your pain level?”
“I hurt,” she spat out the words, her voice hoarse.
The nurse adjusted the IV and then put another blanket on Sarma. “The doctor will be here in the morning to give you a full update.”
After the nurse left, Sarma checked her forehead. A sensation flickered as if someone had touched her skin. She remembered how Laima cared for her in Riga. Sarma didn't know someone could express so much affection without words. No one had ever cared for her in that way. Gunita had always been busy with work, activities, and her life in general. Even when Sarma was sick as a child, she relied on herself.
She dreamt Reinis had come to her side in Latvia. Every dream felt so vivid, so real, his presence in the room, his voice. She sniffed the air now. A vague scent of the ocean remained. She shook her head. It wasn't possible. Agony made her imagine things that weren’t there. Reinis couldn’t have been here, he had no idea who she was and where to find her. They met once. One-night stands had no interest in visiting a woman all the way across the world. And why would Laima be with him? In the dream, they belonged together, a familiar feeling between them.
Her abdomen echoed emptiness. She didn't have to hear the doctor's words. The cold thief of death had robbed her. The baby was gone, and all she could think about was Reinis. She craved to run her fingers through his soft, black hair, lose herself in those trusting green eyes, and be held by him like in her dream.
Dim morning light filled the room. Though confused about life, a child had given Sarma a tiny hope that maybe happiness would arrive on her horizon but instead she went from crumbs to nothing. Even if there was someone to call, she didn't want to. One wrong word from anyone and she would explode. A nurse pushed a food tray over her bed and urged her to eat. She sipped ice water, but the smell of the food repulsed her.
“I’m not hungry.” Sarma pushed the tray away.
“What a lovely braid,” the nurse said with a soft smile. “I’ve always wanted to braid my hair, but I can’t seem to get it right.”
Last night, she had the surest sense someone was in the room. She still couldn't imagine who braided her hair. She must have done it herself and blanked it out.
“Sarma?” A doctor entered, a tablet in her hand. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore. Wiped out.”
“You might want to try eating,” the doctor said.
“My baby?” Sarma’s voice was distant and disassociated from her body.
“I apologize that I couldn't come talk with you last night. I was in critical care.” She focused on the small screen.
She wasn't critical enough?
“I’m sorry to share bad news. You had a miscarriage. The loss of blood and fever is what prompted us to keep you.” The doctor blinked at her. “Did you know the conception date?”
Sarma blushed. There were two.
“I'm not sure,” Sarma mumbled. “I believe it was eight weeks ago.” Right before she found the note about Lenora, she slept with him.
“Well, it’s not uncommon to mistake the date. You were only six weeks along.” She typed something onto her tablet.
“Are you sure?” Sarma squeaked. Six weeks? That meant Reinis would have been the father. But how could that be?
“I'm positive. I'm sorry for your loss. Did you have a chance to contact anyone? If there are no complications, we c
an discharge you today.”
A wave of cold, then heat, then cold washed over her. The baby was Reinis’ child.
“Do you feel ok?” the doctor asked.
Sarma wanted to blurt out, of course not. Instead, she weakly grunted, “I'm all right.” The impact of the loss stabbed her worse now that it was Reinis’ child. Nothing made sense. She was sure he had used protection.
“Do you have family that could come pick you up later?”
“Yes. I'll call…someone.” She stared at a doctor who didn’t know how low she’d plummeted.
“I'll return in a few hours to discharge you.” The doctor smiled.
An invisible hand crushed her heart for the second time that summer. She lost Reinis’ baby. She lost their baby. For a while, Sarma stared at the white wall with no words to express the emptiness.
She finally snapped out of her daze, and she remembered she had no ride home. This time Marita picked up.
“Finally, Marita. I've been calling you,” Sarma tried to hide her anger.
“I’m so sorry. I was with Gatis—forgot my phone. I just walked in. What’s up?”
“The worst. The absolute worst.” Sarma's voice cracked with anguish. She fell into tears and told Marita the horrible news.
“Oh my God, Sarma,” Marita muttered. “I’m on my way.”
Sarma hung up and cried until there were no tears left. Worn out, she closed her eyes—and immediately clicked on Reinis. This time she allowed herself to think about how delicious it was making love to him. The fantasy alleviated her pain, took her mind off things. Except it wasn't a fantasy. For one extraordinary night, she had relished him. She clung to the sensation of his hug from the dream and the warmth of his lips on her forehead.
Discharge took forever, but Marita came and took her home. Sarma’s shoulders slumped down. Derek’s car sat parked in the driveway.
Marita read her panic-stricken face. “You don't have to stay if you don’t want to.”
“No, I need to face him. He deserves to know the truth.”
Sarma stared at Derek, readying words in her mind to say to him. He sat at the kitchen table with a sour expression on his face. Several bottles of beer sat empty in front of him. His face flushed crimson, and he opened his mouth. “Where the hell have—?”
“Stop. Just stop. I was at the hospital, and I left my phone at home.” She glared at him. “I lost the baby.”
He smacked the beer he held on the table. “You don't have to make up stories so I won't be angry.”
“Derek, I'm telling the truth. I miscarried. And right now, I don't care if you believe me or not.” Sarma shuffled toward the couch with Derek trailing behind.
“I was worried. You didn't answer,” he blurted out, his tone softer.
In the hospital, she wanted anyone, to be at her side. Anyone except Derek. She wished he would leave her alone. Sarma climbed onto the couch. Her cell phone blinked with a message. Maybe Reinis had found her. Although it was impossible, she grabbed the phone anyway.
Instead of the smooth, kind voice she so desperately longed to hear, it was her boss. She was fired.
Chapter 20
For the next few days, Sarma slept most of the time, curled up in a ball, with dry, sandy eyes. She wished she could cry but she had no tears left. Upon awakening, Sarma took a pain pill, glad for the drowsiness they caused her. She wished for another dream about Reinis, but none came. In her fuzzy waking time, pain numbed her mind, but her heart hit rock bottom. Her body, mind, and heart ached. She wanted Reinis there to snuggle with her.
Derek left for San Francisco and disappeared into his job again, while Marita stayed at the house to care for her. In the bathroom, Sarma surveyed herself in the mirror, but didn’t register her reflection. She pressed her fingers to her eyes and cheeks. Her touch wasn’t real, as if she were separate from herself. She didn’t want to eat or do anything but stare into space.
One night Sarma woke and stumbled to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, she sank her head onto her hands. Her future was a dark abyss. Icy air blasted her as she tumbled into nothingness. Loneliness battered her worse than when she was in Salacgriva. If only he were here now…
She flushed the toilet, and not wanting to awaken Marita, tiptoed back to the living room. Sarma grabbed her cell—11:00 p.m. A missed call from the San Francisco area code. Was it Derek calling from a different phone number? No message. Sarma dialed the number.
“Hi, Sarma. Sorry to call you so late. Did I wake you?”
“Who is this?”
“It’s Gatis. I’m so sorry to call this late but—”
“Is everything okay?”
“I tried to call Marita, but she doesn’t answer. She gave me your number when you lost. . .” Gatis stopped. “Is she there?”
“Just a sec.” Sarma peeked into the guest room where Marita slept soundly. “She’s asleep. Should I wake her?”
“Nah—hey, how are you doing?”
Sarma sat down. She wished Marita hadn’t told him, but at least someone cared. “I’m a little better. I’ll be back on my feet in a few days. How’d the wine tasting go?”
“Awesome. The area you live in so beautiful, all those vineyards. I’m only here for a short time. It would be great if you could come on a day trip with us before I go.”
“That would be fun.”
“I’m glad Marita is there to help.”
Gatis was a stranger but talking to him comforted her. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad Marita met you.” Tears sprang into her eyes, but she swallowed hard, pushing them away.
“You want me to come over tomorrow? I’ll take you both out.”
“I’d love that. Thank you. You’re always so sweet to me, Gatis. These last couple of months have been . . . tough. Marita’s friendship means more to me than ever. And I know how happy she is with you.” He was the first guy that ever treated Marita well.
“Any friend of Marita’s is a friend of mine. So you don’t have to thank me.”
“Well, I’m off to bed,” Sarma murmured.
“Good night. Sleep well.”
Sunlight filled the living room. Sarma glanced at the clock. 2:30 pm. She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes.
“Marita?” she called out. No answer. “Marita?”
Gatis called last night. Did he finally reach Marita? She wasn't in the guest room, and her things were gone. In the kitchen, a note sat on the island. She must have slept so deeply she didn’t hear her leave.
“Sorry, I had to leave. Something came up. Love, Marita.”
Sunday arrived, and Derek would be home. Sarma was weary and vacant. Every fiber of her wanted to get the hell out of there. If she ran into Derek, she would fight with him. Another dead end.
Tossing a bunch of things in her turquoise leather suitcase, she dumped it into the back of her Jeep. Pressing the accelerator, she tore down the road, heading south toward San Francisco. She craved to escape the empty shell her life had become.
Chapter 21
Dita grumbled and sprinkled salt over the boiling pot of water, then turned it off. This third time trying to spy on Gatis had to work. She’d already created the mixture and said her spell twice with no results. Without allowing her reflection to hit the liquid, she peered inside the vessel. Murky images began to form. Ah, her oldest brat hard at work. Supposedly.
What was he doing on that computer? Her view faded in and out, but she managed to see he surfed the web, hacking into Marita's emails, bank accounts, and social media to find anything he could use against Sarma. In the picture archives, he found photos of Sarma and Marita in Latvia, but none of Reinis. The bastard wasn’t fool enough to be photographed with a bestower.
Her son frowned, erased the web history and turned the computer off. She ground the heel of her boot into the kitchen floor. So far, she couldn’t be sure, but his search seemed to be a waste of time. Damn it. The image kept disappearing and she couldn’t add anymore ingredients. What was Gatis doing now?
Finally, his face lit up. He pulled a plastic bag, out of the bottom dresser drawer, then leafed through a small book. A smile spread across his cheeks, and he stuffed the book into his inner jacket pocket. Hopefully, he found what he needed.
Exhausted from trying to maintain focus to spy on Gatis, she took a nap. When she woke, she checked in on him again. She rubbed the back of her neck and peered into the water. He was eating dinner with Sarma’s annoying friend.
While Marita turned to serve the food, Gatis dropped three drops of elixir into her coffee. At last, the dummy made his move. She hoped this dose was not the first. With the elixir, not only would she have sex with him when he wanted, but his mind control would improve. That sleaze Marita would lead Gatis right to Sarma.
Almost too easy. Bitter cold ran through her veins. Sarma was going to be his very soon, she didn't care how it would be done. Auseklis would be born through her line.
~ * ~
Sarma cruised up Highway 1 heading south on the curvy road high above the hazy ocean spread out below craggy, beige cliffs. Wildflowers bloomed on the coast edge. The salty sea air brought back memories of the Latvian beaches, and every so often, she stopped to watch a bird or scan the water for whales. At one stop, a golden eagle perched on a telephone pole. Nature always settled her nerves so she pulled over to wait for the eagle to soar.
After she received the message she’d lost her job, she worried about what to do next. At least with the last pay check deposited in her account, she could afford a few days off until she figured out her next move.
As the eagle lifted into flight, Sarma sighed. She finally had what she wanted—to be alone. Alone where no one could tell her what to do. Every ounce of her wanted to stay by the sea and never return home.
Forbidden Darkness (Immortal Desire Series Book 1) Page 13