Madison’s mouth screwed up into a pout and one tear dribbled from the corner of her eye. “I want it. I never wanted anything so much in my whole life. Daddy…please, I’ll be good and I’ll never ask for anything again.”
“Madison, no. Not tonight.”
She kicked her feet, her heels banging against the cement floor. “If you loved me, you’d get it for me!” she hollered.
Nicki’s stomach dropped, and she instinctively stepped back and out of the way. Jared’s lips went white, his mouth set in a hard line.
Behind them, an older woman sympathized, “Someone’s had a little too much fun.”
It must have been the combination of statements that made Jared pluck his child off the bear in one fell swoop. She screamed and flailed her arms, twisting and kicking. “Nobody blackmails me, Madison,” he said in a flat voice, “not even you. The answer is no. I am not buying you a five-hundred-dollar bear.” Madison threw her head back and cried and screamed until she was red in the face. “Come on,” Jared said to Nicki, “let’s get out of here.”
Nicki scrambled to pick up mittens, and hats, and the packages of candles and gingerbread and Christmas ornaments Madison had kicked aside. She hurried to catch up with Jared, but he bypassed the throng of zoo-goers checking out at the cashiers’ stations and made a wide loop to the exit. Everyone turned to stare. Madison wailed louder; Jared ducked his head.
Then Madison dealt the final blow. “I want my mommy!” she screamed, still kicking. “If my mommy was here, she’d buy it for me! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”
The walk to the car was agonizingly long. Jared opened the back door and deposited his sniffling, sobbing bundle on the back seat as if she were a sack of potatoes. He strapped her in, then shook his finger in her face. “Don’t you ever try that again,” he warned. “Temper tantrums will get you nothing. Nothing. That was an unreasonable request and it put a bad ending to an otherwise good night. If you ever do something like that again, I’m going to bring you home and sit you down on a time-out chair and you’re going to stay there until you know how to behave. Do you understand me?”
For a reply, Madison nodded and hiccuped through her tears.
With dark fury shadowing his brow, Jared slammed the back door. Nicki, standing at the passenger side door, looked over the roof at him. Wondering if she should say something or just keep quiet, she fidgeted.
“Consider this the last family outing for a while,” he said coldly.
“I never imagined it would turn out like this,” she murmured.
Air whistled through his clenched teeth, and he momentarily looked away before shifting back to face her. “Neither did I,” he said finally. “Neither did I.”
Thursday was Irene’s night off, and Jared had come to expect cold cuts or leftovers. When he’d been married to Sandra, Thursdays were designated as their night out because she didn’t cook—and she’d made it perfectly clear that she never intended to try.
So it came as a shock to his system to walk in the back door and have his senses assaulted with the scent of hot food. Christmas carols played in the background like elevator music, and a huge poinsettia graced the kitchen table.
Nicki, looking domestic, wore a bib-front apron and was bending over the open door of the oven, a Rudolph mitt on her hand. “You’re early,” she said, obviously disappointed. “We’re not ready.”
“What is all this?” Jared spread his hand, indicating the cake cooling on the rack, the roast chicken she’d just uncovered.
“Dinner.”
“And I helped,” Madison said proudly.
“You did?” Jared looked down at her and knew, because the fiasco last night at the zoo still stung, he had to try a little harder than usual to drum up his enthusiasm. Although he didn’t intend to dismiss her, he knew his responses were cool.
“I made green Jell-O. But Nicki said we had to put pears in it, with red cherries. Kind of ruined it, if you ask me.”
Jared put his briefcase down next to the poinsettia. “Mmm. Christmas colors.”
“It wasn’t that. She says we have to eat fruit. It’s good for us.”
“Really?” Jared slipped off his coat, and dropped it over a chair back. “I’m glad she’s a woman who can think beyond peanut butter and jelly or macaroni and cheese.”
“We’re having blueberry muffins, too. I stirred, but she got to put in the blueberries. Next time I get to. She said.”
Jared paused. “It sounds like you spent all day in the kitchen.”
Madison looked puzzled. “No. We was just playin’ restaurant.”
He watched a smug smile slide onto Nicki’s face, but she wouldn’t look at him, and concentrated on taking the stuffing out of the oven. “Oh, that’s creative. Playing restaurant, huh? I hope Irene doesn’t mind.”
Setting the stuffing on a hot pad, Nicki shook her head. “We got permission first. You know, when you use someone else’s things you have to get permission.”
“I’m impressed,” he commented. “I see there’s little lessons flying all over the place today.” Unable to resist, he grabbed a fork out of the drawer to try the stuffing. He popped a small bite in his mouth. “Oh, my. This isn’t out of a box, is it?”
Nicki chuckled. “It’s that proverbial old family recipe.”
“Ah.” He loosened his tie, imagining Nicki in his kitchen every night when he came home from work. For the past few years, he and Irene just grunted at each other.
“Daddy?” Madison crawled up onto a bar stool, and solemnly faced him. Wearing a bright red sweater embroidered with toy soldiers, Madison absently picked at the gold braid on her sleeve. “Before we sit down to eat, I gots to ’pologize.” A ripple of surprise shimmied up his backbone. “I’m sorry I kicked you last night.”
Jared was so shocked, he didn’t know what to say.
“I really wanted that bear, but…” Madison twined her ankles around the rungs of the bar stool and squirmed, “I shouldn’t of acted that way. I’m sorry.”
“Um…” Jared cleared his throat, noisily. “Thank you for the apology, Madison. Since it happened yesterday, I guess we’ll just forget it. We’ll start over fresh today. No more tantrums, no more being angry.”
Madison nodded, her blond curls bouncing on her shoulders. “I love you, Daddy. Really. Even after what I said last night. ’Cause I didn’t mean that, you know.”
Jared stood stock-still. His daughter’s innocent declaration had struck its mark, and a corner of his heart crimped. He should have been able to say it, too, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not in front of Nicki.
Maddy looked at him expectantly.
Jared remained silent, painfully aware he couldn’t bring himself to utter any tender little mercies, not even to his own child. He’d forgiven her for her outburst, what more did he need to say?
“Madison,” Nicki interjected, “how about if you put these napkins on the table for me? We’re about ready to eat.”
Maddy reluctantly climbed down from the stool, took them, and with one last look at her father, slowly headed into the dining room.
Jared scrutinized Nicki, but her face was a carefully controlled mask. Except for one thing….
He fiddled with his briefcase for a moment. “I swear, St. Nick, this is driving me crazy. For a moment there, your eyes were actually twinkling. You want to tell me how you managed that? And I don’t mean the eye thing, I mean the apology.”
Nicki’s lips twitched, the corners of her mouth finally giving in to a smile. Her dimples popped out, and for one insane moment Jared thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
“Madison doesn’t mean to be naughty, Jared. She’s just relying on the same old tricks that have worked in the past. Unfortunately for her—” Nicki turned to drop a fork into the sink “—they aren’t working at this house. I have to hand it to you. Telling her this is a whole new day is the best thing you could have done, because she’s free to start over. No guilt. No e
xcuses.”
“Yeah, well, you know where I heard it.”
“Where?”
“From you,” he said grudgingly.
Nicki’s heart skipped a beat.
“You orchestrated this whole little thing tonight, didn’t you?” he accused.
“What little thing?” she innocently asked.
“Christmas carols on the CD player, the house smelling like pine and Christmas dinner. Madison wearing her Christmas best, and you wearing an apron and smiling like Betty Crocker over a trayful of heat-and-serve rolls.”
Cocking her head impishly, and tilting the tray, she asked, “Oh. Do you like these, by the way? I didn’t know.”
“Only with strawberry jam,” he mumbled.
Nicki’s smile widened. “It’s already on the table.”
Jared sputtered. Then he turned his head. “Wait a minute. I smell smoke,” he said.
“Oh. That. We started a fire in the fireplace. I thought I got the damper up okay.”
Both of Jared’s eyebrows lifted.
“I hope that’s okay. You had all this wood out on the patio.”
“I usually don’t take time to fool around with stuff like that,” he muttered.
“The thing is, Madison and I rented this new Christmas video this afternoon, and we thought it would be kind of cozy for the three of us to have a quiet night, watch a video, watch the fire.”
“The three of us?”
“Unless you’re busy.” Nicki wiped her hands on the tea towel, and waited expectantly for his answer.
Jared impatiently tapped his briefcase. Inside were this week’s sales figures. He’d been trying to get to them all day. “Oh, I suppose. Just this once. But—” he lifted a finger in her direction “—you really ought to check with me before you do something like this again.”
Nicki appeared properly chastised, but he knew—he absolutely knew—she wasn’t.
“Oh, I will,” she said earnestly. “I promise.”
They’d finished watching the video in the family room, but Jared couldn’t resist poking the fire and putting another log on.
“Mmm, that fire’s nice, isn’t it?” Nicki asked, stretching catlike as she got up from the sofa. She folded the afghan and laid it back over the sofa. “It makes me warm all over.”
A shudder went through Jared. He could almost feel her hot, supple flesh pressed against him.
Madison yawned.
“Time for you to be in bed, kiddo,” Jared remarked carelessly, laying the poker across the fireplace hearth.
“Do I have to?” she whined.
“Yes.”
“Come on, Madison. I’ll get you ready for bed. Your daddy probably has work to do. We’ll let him have the family room and that raging fire all to himself.”
Jared watched Nicki herd Maddy to the door, her arm loosely draped across his daughter’s shoulders. “Nicki?” He leaned back to sit on his haunches, one elbow propped over his bent knee.
“Yes?” She half turned. Her hair was invitingly mussed, her clothes rumpled from sitting on the sofa with her legs tucked beneath her.
“You’re coming back downstairs, aren’t you? I want to talk to you.”
He noted that she looked somewhat surprised, even puzzled, when she nodded, as if she’d guessed she’d done something wrong and was expecting to be dressed down for it.
Huh. Dressed down.
He’d like to dress her right down to her silk bikinis and wispy scrap of a bra—and then he’d like to keep right on going.
The woman was driving him crazy. Her face floated above the growing pile of paperwork at his office, and had become nothing but a distraction. He couldn’t concentrate and he couldn’t get anything done. His mind was always on them, Nicki and Maddy.
No, Nicki, he revised. Mostly Nicki.
Even now, he should be going over those reports but he couldn’t seem to focus, and he didn’t even care. He kept thinking of how she’d looked when she’d bent to put the video in. How she’d looked over her shoulder at him, to make sure the VCR was on the right channel. All vulnerable, and curvy and sweet.
His mind had fast-forwarded into the craziest things, such as running a hand down her thigh or giving her a soft, playful pat on the rump. He wanted to touch her so badly it was torture.
And then Madison had made that silly joke about mistletoe.
Right now, he wanted to hang the damn weed on every doorway in the house and meet Nicki under it. He wanted to kiss her until his lips were swollen; he wanted to hold her and bask in her laughter, languish in her scent. He wanted her softness. He craved her creativity, her down-to-earth values.
It occurred to him they should privately change the words to that old tune. This time around it should be “I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus.”
For St. Nick had truly made him a home for Christmas. There was a fire in his hearth, his belly was warm and full, and for the first time in his life he truly felt complete—as if his family was around him. As if he were no longer alone.
He was still on the hearth, the fire an intense heat at his back, when Nicki came back into the room. She tarried uncertainly at the door, as if waiting to be invited in.
He patted the spot beside him on the hearth. “Come sit with me,” he said.
Nicki’s eyes widened, and she self-consciously smoothed her slacks as she moved across the room. “I never expected that video to take the whole night. It’s after ten, and you haven’t even opened your briefcase yet. I know you’ve got a lot of work to do.”
She carefully lowered herself to the hearth, putting a respectable foot between them. He smiled to himself. Well, he was the one who laid the ground rules, he thought wryly. “Forget the work.”
“Even so, two nights in a row, and you did say last night—”
“Forget what I said.”
Confusion rolled behind her clear blue eyes. “Jared—”
“Nicki, listen, I want to be a good father. I want to be a good family man. But I haven’t had much experience, and I haven’t had many good role models, either. My folks were pretty well set in their ways by the time I came along, and Sandra’s only concept of family was a joint checking account.” Nicki, listening, her head bent, absently pinch-pleated the creases on her slacks. “I probably overreacted last night about the teddy bear thing. I was angry, upset, embarrassed. The whole shebang. I’m certainly not used to anyone—particularly a five-year-old—talking back to me. And certainly not holding me hostage to her demands.”
Nicki chuckled, but she wouldn’t look at him. “Kids do that. You’ll adjust.”
“I’m ready to try again.”
“Excuse me?”
“Gillette’s employee Christmas party is this Saturday. I want you and Madison to come.” He could see the hesitation on her brow and, without giving it a second thought, dragged a thumb across her forehead to remove the deep furrows that were multiplying there.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” she said slowly as his fingers lightly stroked down over her temple.
“Because of Madison?”
“No. She’ll be fine. I mean, I won’t guarantee it, but I think she’ll manage okay.”
“Then?”
“Because of me.”
Jared frowned.
“In case you haven’t noticed, Jared. We’re becoming much too familiar with one another.” She stopped short, knowing she had to correct herself. “What I mean is—”
He waggled a hand, expecting her to continue.
“Maybe I’m wrong, but…we just look at each other and know what the other’s thinking. I suppose it’s having Madison in the middle. I suppose we’ve been in situations where we have to rely on each other, situations where we’ve laughed together and relaxed together. But I know your tough guy demeanor at the store, Jared, and I don’t want to undermine that image, by revealing a softer, kinder side of you. Not in front of your employees.”
“Forget that. It’s a family event.”
&nb
sp; “And just last night you said no more family outings.”
He snorted, his head momentarily dropping back. “Okay—and I’m gritting my teeth when I say this—but I was wrong.”
He watched the lovely curve of her lower jaw slowly slide off center.
“I’m not wrong very often,” he qualified gruffly.
Nicki’s lips wiggled, and she pressed them together. “Of course not,” she said.
“But, in this instance, I think it would be good for me to have my family represented.”
“And what will that do to employer-employee relations? I do work for you,” Nicki reminded, “and we do have a very casual relationship, one you may not want to flaunt at Gillette’s Christmas party. Sure, I pretended to be your girlfriend at the Christmas gala, but your employees think I’m still the hired help, that I simply moved from one job to the next. Jared, think about it. As you said, we connect on…certain levels. Those might not be levels you want to…well, expose.”
Dammit. The woman was besting him with his own hard-line arguments. Old arguments, fall-by-the-wayside arguments. He sighed, and resignation made his shoulders droop. He refused to nitpick every little detail, and he refused to ponder the double life Nikki led: a “girlfriend” to his social circle, a “nanny” to his employees. It wouldn’t do any good to dwell on the implications, not the way he was feeling. It would only add more confusion to the mix. “Look,” he said finally, “will you just come?”
The loveliest, most fascinating smile eased onto Nicki’s face. “I’d love to, yes. Thank you for thinking of me.”
He was thinking of her, she simply had no idea how much.
Chapter Eleven
Nicki promised Jared they’d be ready by six sharp. Madison, who had been washed and curled, powdered and perfumed, was down in the kitchen, supervising the housekeeper as she made thumb-print cookies. With her white fuzzy sweater, black velvet pants, and patent leather shoes, she looked like the boss’s daughter.
Nicki, on the other hand, was five minutes late and frazzled. She was never five minutes late, not for anything.
With one contrary curl falling against her temple, she looked like a tag-along.
The Nanny & Her Scrooge Page 12