“They understood when I told why I was leaving and that I needed a change. My mom and dad were supportive. My brothers, not so much. Their names are Mitch and Dustin. They fought me on it, but in the end, gave me their blessing.” I couldn’t reveal too much here either. The subject needed to change soon.
“Wow. You sound like you have a wonderful family. I was an only child. I couldn’t imagine how it was growing up with siblings.” She seemed lost. Her voice was cracking. I know this is hard for her so I decided to be the one to change it to something she’d be more comfortable talking about.
“Why did you choose juvenile probation?” I stuck with work related questions because they were safer for now.
“I wanted to help kids who lost their path and redirect them to a better one. I figured if I helped at least one child get their life back on track, then I did my job well. Why’d you want to be a cop?”
“I guess I just wanted to help people. I got tired of people getting their charges dropped because of a technicality in the way the police work was conducted and wanted to change that. I want to make sure that victims of crimes get the justice that they deserve instead of fearing for their safety because the person who did something to them wasn’t behind bars where they belonged.” I absolutely hated when criminals walked free, but what I loved most was talking people off of the ledge, she just didn’t need to know that part.
“You sound very passionate. I’m glad we have someone as hard working as you seem to be on our police force. It comforts me knowing that criminals will be caught.”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time and was surprised to see that another hour had passed. It was getting close to three o’clock.
“Are you ready to head back yet? It’s getting chillier out here.”
“Yeah, it is. I hadn’t noticed until you said something though.”
We picked up our trash and walked it over to a nearby trash can. We packed up the picnic blanket and put it back into the cooler along with the empty containers. Once I put the cooler strap on my shoulder, we began our walk back to the truck. I hesitated, but reached for her hand anyway. When she didn’t pull it away for the second time, I took that as a good sign.
***
Emily
I looked down at where our hands were joined and couldn’t believe that I was letting him actually touch me. The most shocking part was that I wanted him to. I had to stop this before he got the wrong idea. I just didn’t know how or if I had the will power to look him in the eyes and tell him that being friends were all we would ever be.
The walk back to the truck ended before I knew where the time had gone. He was a true gentleman. Was this just a southern thing or was it just who he was? He opened my door and looked as though he was thinking about what to do next. I reluctantly let go of his hand and turned to face him. As long as I knew it was coming, I could handle him touching me. Plus, I didn’t know how to get into this monstrosity he called a truck.
“I think I need your help getting into this thing.”
“Sure thing, sweetheart.”
He reached for me and picked me up by my hips like I was made of glass. Our faces were so close to each other and that made me nervous. I tensed, but only for a moment. He must have noticed because he let out a breath and put me down in the seat of the truck. He shut the door once I was comfortably seated. I almost hated how tensing in his arms seemed to affect him. It’s just a natural reaction because of what happened to me. He’d start asking questions soon if I didn’t learn how to control my reactions when he was around.
He made his way over to his side of the truck, opened the door, and got inside. How did he do that without any effort at all? It was probably the fact that he was like a foot taller than me and was used to it. He started the engine and put the truck in drive.
He turned on the radio, and we rode back to my place in silence. Today had been truly amazing and relaxing, but it was starting to get awkward.
I leaned my head on the window and just stared out looking at everything, but nothing at all.
Before I knew it, we were back at my house. I was shocked that I liked his company as much as I did. I was debating on how to make it to where this day didn’t end right now.
Grabbing my purse, I reached for the door handle. We both got out and walked down the path to the front door of my home. When we reached it, I turned to face him. He had his hands in his back pockets and was rocking back and forth looking nervous about something.
He brought his gaze back to mine, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. It was almost like it was a game of who was going to speak first. The tension that began to build caused me to crack first.
I lost the game.
“I had a really nice time today. I can tell you took the time to find the perfect place for us to go.”
“I had a nice time, as well. It didn’t take as long as you think it did. I hope that we can do it again sometime,” he confessed.
I hesitated for the briefest of seconds. If I let my inhibitions go for a moment, I could see myself easily wanting to be around him for long periods of time.
“I’d like that, but I need to make myself clear on a few things if that’s okay with you?”
“Sure. Shoot.”
“I enjoyed spending time with you today. We have a lot in common, but I can’t be more than friends right now. Probably ever. I have a lot of baggage and I can’t see it going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Ah, I see. You still want to deny what’s right in front of your face. That’s okay. I’m a patient guy. I’ll wear you down eventually. For now, I’ll let you friend zone me, but understand this, sweetheart. You’ll admit you feel it too one of these days. I don’t care how long it takes.”
Well, he wasn’t going to give up easy. This could be fun, but, on the other hand, it could be exhausting.
“If you say so.” I turned to open the door, but stopped. I was really enjoying his company and I didn’t want the day to be over yet. It was still early. What could watching a movie and enjoying dinner together hurt?
I turned back toward him and asked if he had any plans for the evening.
“Not at the moment,” he replied.
“You wanna order a pizza, enjoy a few beers, and watch a movie or two. That’s about as much fun as I can offer you.”
“It sounds perfect, sweetheart.”
I groaned. I wished he would stop calling me that. It was driving me mad.
I opened the door and invited him inside. We hung our coats in the closet and removed our shoes leaving them by the door. I walked toward the kitchen and he followed.
“I’m going to call and order a pizza. Anything special you want on it?”
“Nah, I’m not picky. Whatever you want is fine with me,” he replied while leaning against the counter.
“I’m ordering a couple of supreme pizzas. You wanna go pick out a movie? You know where the den is already, right? They’re all on the shelf across the back wall.” I had an extensive movie collection and I know that he wouldn’t have noticed it the first time he was here. This should be interesting.
Once the pizzas were ordered, I grabbed two beers out of the fridge and walked into the den to a stunned Mattie. He looked like he was going to freak out.
“You really have all of these movies?” He asked with a shocked tone.
“Yeah. It’s an obsession of mine. I don’t do much, so I buy movies to occupy my time.”
“How many are here?”
“Close to fifteen hundred. I have a variety of genres, but my biggest collection is horror. I’ve loved them since I was old enough to watch them.”
“I can see that. Want to watch a horror movie tonight then?”
“Sure, but if you want to watch something different its fine by me. You’re my guest so I’ll let you choose.”
“Aww, how sweet of you? I’m still picking horror. I think seeing you all scared and jumping out of your seat is going to be priceless t
o watch,” he stated with a hint of laughter. We’ll see about that.
The movies didn’t scare me as much as they gave me a thrill. I love the anticipation of what’s to come. He was looking at the movies in the horror section. Yes, the OCD part of me has them categorized. He pulled one out of its spot and seemed satisfied with what he chose.
He walked over to me and handed me the DVD. I looked down to see what it was and noticed that he’d picked The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. How ironic. Out of all of the horror movies I owned, he would choose one that I didn’t like watching. Gore just wasn’t my thing. Oh well. I wouldn’t show fear though.
I smiled up at him and whispered, “Perfect.”
We chatted about how I became obsessed with movies and the pizza arrived. I collected some paper plates and a couple more beers from the kitchen and brought them back to the den so we could begin eating. I handed him a plate with two slices of pizza on it and I picked up two for myself.
I walked over to the television and turned it on, turning on the DVD player, and put in the movie. Grabbing the remote, I walked back across the room where he was sitting on the couch. I pressed play and let the movie begin.
We ate the rest of our pizza and finished the beers by the time the previews had started. I collected our trash and took it into the kitchen and grabbed another couple of beers.
We sat on separate ends of the couch and I had my legs curled up under me. I was getting into the movie and he seemed to be enjoying it, as well. For some reason, I couldn’t stop stealing glances over at him. He seemed at peace.
I continued to watch the movie and I knew that I wasn’t going to like what was coming next. The kids in the movie had just rammed the gate and were going down the street. Even though I knew what was coming, it didn’t matter. This part of the movie got me every freaking time. They had just wrecked the van and the girls were in the back screaming. Then all of a sudden Leatherface appears out of nowhere with his chainsaw and breaks the window. I screamed and jumped across the couch right into his lap. Well, this was a little awkward.
“Thought you could handle it, sweetheart,” he laughed.
My breathing had just begun to slow down from having the life scared out of me and I was trying to come up with some snarky comment. I couldn’t think of one.
“I can handle it, but that part gets me every time. Sorry for landing in your lap like that.”
I went to move off, but he put his hand around my waist to stop me. I closed my eyes trying to remind myself not to tense. Taking a deep breath, I looked back into his eyes.
“You don’t need to be sorry, sweetheart. I like you being in my lap,” he chuckled.
I shook my head at his cockiness. Men.
“That’s all fine and dandy, but we’re just friends remember. Friends don’t sit in each other’s laps,” I huffed back. We were going to be friends and nothing more. I was determined to stick with that.
“I understand that, sweetheart. I was just saying I didn’t mind it. You know you don’t have to sit way over there, right? You can scoot closer.” What could it hurt? It’s not like his arms would be wrapped around me.
I moved out of his lap and sat down on the cushion beside him. This wasn’t so bad. We continued to watch the movie the rest of the way through. Some parts I had to remind myself not to react to because I didn’t want him to think I was a chicken. When the movie ended, I moved off of the couch to take it out of the DVD player. I checked the time on the clock beside the television and noticed that it was only a little after eight. I thought it would have been later than that.
Putting the DVD back in its case, I turned back around noticing he was over at the shelf of movies looking at them. I walked over and put the movie back where it belonged.
“What are you looking for?”
“I looked at the time and it’s only after eight so I was wondering if you wanted to watch another movie?”
Did I? I liked his company well enough. It wouldn’t hurt to watch another one.
“Sure. Do you see anything else that you want to watch?”
“Yeah tons, but I doubt you want to be up all night watching a marathon of movies,” he joked.
“I haven’t done that in a while. I probably couldn’t last through two more let alone pull an all-nighter,” I teased back.
He pulled another movie off of the shelf and walked around me to the DVD player and put it in. That’s strange. Why wouldn’t he just let me see it?
“Glad to see you are making yourself at home,” I joked.
“You know it. And to answer your question, no you can’t see what I put in.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
He just laughed and walked towards the kitchen. A few moments, later he came back with another round of beers. He twisted the top off of mine and handed me one.
“Thanks.”
We sat back down in the same spots we were in when we watched the previous movie and he pressed play on the remote control. I could only imagine what he put in. Probably one of the action movies I had.
Once the previews were over, I was still baffled as to what he had put in. The movie began to play and the instant the music started I knew what it was. He put in Top Gun. Not the manliest movie he could put in, but I loved it none the less. Who didn’t love Tom Cruise right?
About three-quarters of the way through the movie, I felt my eyes starting to become heavy. I tried to fight my sleep, it was just becoming harder and harder to stay awake. My head had fallen onto his shoulder and I hoped he didn’t get the wrong idea. I reluctantly fell asleep against him.
I woke up in a place I didn’t recognize. I tried to remain calm, but it was getting harder by the second. I was wracking my brain trying to remember the last thing that happened. I remembered walking to my car and texting Damon. After that, everything was fuzzy. I was tied to a chair with my arms behind my back. I tried my restraints, but they were tied too tightly for me to be able to get free. I needed to remember to save my strength. The room was sparse in its décor, with nothing but a table and two chairs, the chair I was tied to, and a bed. I listened and couldn’t hear anything but my breathing. I closed my eyes and tried to remember my training. The main thing was to stay calm. It’s easier said than done though when you’re actually put into the situation. As I was going over everything in my head, my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a key entering the lock on the door. I looked towards it and when it opened, I was shocked at who I saw. Julio Araya and two of his goons were walking through the door. This situation just got a lot more difficult. I was one of the detectives assigned to take down him and his brother Javier. I silently prayed that this would be over before it began. I wouldn’t let myself think of all of the possibilities of things that could go wrong. He walked towards me and touched my cheek causing me to flinch away from his touch. He leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, “You should relax, chica. We’re just getting started.”
I instantly jumped up screaming. These nightmares are going to be the death of me. I was breathing heavily with my hands now on my knees trying to gain some composure when I noticed movement in front of me. Everything was starting to come back to me now. Mattie and I were watching a movie when I fell asleep. That means he’s still here. Fearing what I might see, I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him. I didn’t have the strength to answer questions after that dream.
I felt him running his fingers down the length of my arm, but I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place. Taking several more breaths, I attempted to calm myself down. Looks like it was going to be another long sleepless night. Getting back to sleep was hard when I had one of those dreams. I was still trying to gain back my composure when I heard him speak softly.
“Hey, sweetheart. It was just a dream. You’re safe now.”
The giggle that escaped me couldn’t be stopped. He had no clue and I prayed to God he never would. He was still gently touching my arm and shockingly it was soothing me. I just wish that something
could soothe the ache in my heart and brokenness that I constantly felt. I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth one more time and gained the courage to face him.
His blue eyes were full of concern when I looked into them. Seeing the concern in them made me feel mixed emotions. I couldn’t let him be there for me because I couldn’t explain what happened. It was hard enough to discuss it with my therapist.
“I think I’m okay now.”
“You scared me, sweetheart. I was watching the end of the movie when you started to move in your sleep. Next thing I know you jumped off the couch screaming. You want to talk about it?”
Here’s the tricky part. I needed to make sure he didn’t see through my facade and make sure I sounded convincing.
Looking back into his eyes, I told him I didn’t remember what the dream was about. I just felt uneasy and that’s all I could tell him about it. He seemed to buy that story and that suited me just fine. He didn’t need to know anything about that part of my life.
I turned away from him and picked up the remote and switched off the television and DVD player. My body was still shaking a little and I needed to make it stop. I shook my hands a little to see if that would help.
I could feel him come up behind me and told myself not to tense up. I didn’t need him to ask more questions.
He gently turned me around to face him and placed his hands on my hips. I looked up into his eyes, but I couldn’t speak. They were going to be the death of me if his touch didn’t kill me first.
He leaned his forehead on mine and asked if I was okay. All I could do was nod my head because the truth was I wasn’t okay and I didn’t know how to get there. I reined back the tears that were building in my eyes. No one has seen this side of me since I moved here and this is the second time he’s seen me this way. He probably thinks I’m a nutcase.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a gentle hug. I hesitated, but wrapped my arms around his waist. I took a deep breath and his scent filled my senses. He smelled like Old Spice and fabric softener. I could get used to feeling this way. Safe. I hadn’t felt that way in two and a half years.
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