by Jessica Cruz
I didn’t say anything in response. I just twirled the ring around and around my finger. She closed the door, and I threw myself back down on the bed. This was insane. Times like this are when I really needed my best friend, but like a moron, I fucked that up.
Gloria still hadn’t tried contacting me since the photo session. It was driving me insane to be without her for so long, but I had really messed this thing up. I didn’t even know how to apologize to her, and I was completely ignorant as to how we repair our friendship from this point. Is it even possible to go back to how things used to be? Maybe, it wasn’t. Maybe, I’d just have to figure out some way to move on in life without her.
This was just too much for my head tonight. I went into my purse and pulled out a blunt. It was practically harmless, so I didn’t think Wes would mind despite our agreement. I lit the end and took in a nice, long hit. Smoke filled my lungs in an incredible way. I blew out a puff of smoke, watching the gray cloud dance and vanish into the air in front of me. Yes, this would help.
I pushed the windows in the room open and continued to smoke until I felt relaxed. I put the end out and threw the useless stub out of the window. From there, I put some eye drops in and then concentrated on getting dressed for the evening. The dress fit my body perfectly. I paired it with these studded black booties and a matching clutch. It was a very simple but very chic look.
Once I was done, I climbed down the staircase, just in time to catch a glimpse of Dennis and my mom arguing. He had his hand gripped around her wrist. I shouted, “What the hell are you doing to her?”
Dennis released his hold. My mom shot her gaze back and forth between the two of us. Immediately, she defended his actions, “Adriana, it was nothing. You just came downstairs in the middle of something without all the facts. It looked a lot worse than what really happened. Really, I promise.”
Before I could open my mouth, Dennis opened the door motioning for my mother to leave, “We should be going. Tonight’s going to be great.” He hardly sounded sincere. I stifled the urge to scream and followed them.
We pulled up at Wes’s bar and were immediately greeted by Wes’s staff. The bar looked amazing, transforming its look from young and bold into sophisticated and sexy. I couldn’t believe all that had changed in just one day. A young man, who couldn’t be much older than me, pulled me aside. Without hesitation, I went with him. I couldn’t stand being around Isabel and Dennis for a second longer.
“It’s wonderful to meet you, Ms. Ward. My name’s Eric Ritter,” he said, flashing an award winning smile. He scratched the back of his shaggy, brown hair and stammered. “Mr. Holden is preoccupied with a couple of loose ends for tonight’s preparations. He’s asked me to see if you need anything.”
“Eric, it’s nice to be you. Please, call me Adriana. Did Wes say how long he’s going to be?” I asked with growing anticipation.
“Not long,” was the vague answer returned to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. “He said he’ll be with you shortly. I’m sure you can imagine the stress he’s under.” Eric laughed uncomfortably. He looked scared. I wondered if Wes was a mean boss, a dictator. He had this poor guy shaking. “Mr. Holden’s never been both in charge of the venue as well as a guest and date to a function before.”
“Eric, relax. I understand,” I said in a light tone. The guy looked so terrified. I felt like I needed to comfort him. “Tell Wes I’ll be okay, and I look forward to when I’m no longer dateless.” Eric’s face twisted into a pained expression. “Make sure he knows that came from me, and that I was only joking. Tell him I said to lighten up and to give you a raise.” This didn’t seem to put any ease on him, but he complied and left abruptly.
For about an hour, I was passed around the crowd by my mother. She spent the time introducing me to her friends and bragging about my many accomplishments. Everyone was so fake; I wanted to leave. It was all politics here. I couldn’t be myself. I had to be Isabel’s Ivy League daughter with charm, beauty, and charisma. Several times, I had to remind myself that this was for the sake of Wes and his success. I knew he was expecting a lot of future business from these affluent people, but fuck, I just wished I brought some weed with me. I was quickly losing my high.
“My son’s just graduated with a degree in Criminal Justice. He plans on furthering his education in law school next year,” said one of my mom’s friends. I had been abandoned by my mother because she was needed by Dennis and left me to make small talk with this lady who I had nothing in common with. Hell, I couldn’t even remember her name. “You’re such a beautiful, young lady. You should meet my Robert. You two would make such a beautiful couple.”
“It’s only a shame she’s already taken,” came the cool voice of my Wes Holden. He wrapped his hand around my waist from behind and planted a kiss on my temple. I felt like I was going to erupt from joy. The sore, aching muscles in between my legs reminded me of exactly what kind of joy this man could inflict. He stuck out his hand to the woman. “Hi, I’m Wesley Holden. Welcome to my establishment.”
“Oh,” swooned the woman. I couldn’t help but laugh. I’m pretty sure she soaked herself just looking at my dashing boyfriend in the black suit and royal blue tie. “It’s a pleasure, Wesley.” She caught herself staring and then blushed, looking away quickly in another direction, completely unaware of his hand still hovering between them. “Excuse me. I hope you both have a wonderful night.”
I spun around and leaned up as high as I could, so I could kiss him. My whole world stopped. All of a sudden it was just him and me, separated from everything else. I beamed, “I love it here. You did an amazing job with the setup.”
“Yeah, I’m glad everything came out okay. I had to rush through some of the dinner preparations though,” he gave me another kiss, staring into my eyes. “I got a message from Eric that my girlfriend was dateless and waiting.”
I nodded with a giant grin and grabbed his hand in mine. We started walking in no particular direction, “Yes, speaking of which, I hope you’re not too hard on him. The guy looked petrified.”
He laughed a response, “Yeah, he should’ve been. He fucked up big earlier. I think he aged me another thirty years. He’s a good guy though. Everything turned out fine.”
Dinner was served. I ate a tender steak with a side of vegetables. It was delicious. I thought back to the night before. Wes must have been sampling tonight’s dinner. He made an excellent selection. I heard the room buzzing about the choice in food. Even my mother, who often avoided eating steak, marveled over it.
Once dinner was complete, we mingled with the crowd. Everyone seemed more energetic. I credited this to the open bar and lively music. It was easier to talk to people with Wes by my side. He brought out the best in me, so we managed the crowd together, hand in hand.
Because of Wes’s presence, I was even able to tolerate Dennis. We posed for pictures together with him and Isabel. I’m pretty sure we all actually looked happy, too, all for different reasons of course. I knew what this meant though. Speculations would begin. Knowing my mother, she pointed out my date to everyone that would listen. I’m sure these pictures together would only spark further conversation, and it didn’t help I was wearing my grandmother’s diamond ring. I bet by the end of the evening Wes would go from my boyfriend of one day to my fiancé. Gossip was impossible to avoid in this world.
Once we were done pictures, Dennis waved to the crowd of onlookers with an abnormally large smile. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him really smile, but here he was playing master host. He made his way to a podium. The DJ cut off the music as Dennis tapped the microphone.
He said, “Good evening everyone. I hope you’re all enjoying this fantastic party.” The guests started applauding, giving him all of their attention. “First of all, I’d like to extend my genuine appreciation and gratitude to Mr. Wesley Holden. This venue, this service, this food, it’s all been phenomenal. I couldn’t be happier with you, your staff, and your establishment.”
> Wes raised his glass of champagne in acknowledgement towards Dennis. The guests applauded again, and Wes planted a soft kiss on my lips as if to let the whole room know that I belonged to him. I caught a couple guests pointing at us and whispering. I rolled my eyes in response but chose not to dwell on it.
Dennis continued, “Second, I’d like to extend my appreciation to this room full of my closest friends and biggest supporters. I’m sure you’re all wondering why I decided to host such an extravagant party, and to answer your question, yes, I do have a reason for gathering you all here tonight. I have come to the recent decision to extend my political presence and run for New Jersey State Assemblyman for this upcoming election. You are all the first to know because I trust and care for this room of people more than anyone else. You’re all more than my friends; you’re my family. I hope you all will enjoy your time here tonight and continue to give your love and support to me in the near future. I stand here requesting to represent not only you all but our community, our homes, our children. I have complete faith and passion that I will do so with the same integrity and ethic that I have established in every area of my life. It’s time I lend myself to the change and bettering of our future. Thank you. You’re all beautiful.”
The room erupted into applause. Suddenly, the pictures and hasty change in attitude made sense. It was Dennis’s angle. He was painting a picture for himself. He wanted potential voters and financial supporters to see him as a family man with a gorgeous wife and endearing stepdaughter who was dating a respected business man. In this world, there were always at least two reasons for actions. There was the sub-reason. It was small, basic, and shallow. It was a reputation builder, but there was also the main. Every action had a true motif behind it. Nothing could be seen as just a simple and genuine gesture. Every man and woman here was more selfish than I could ever describe. It made me sick.
“Excuse me,” I turned to Wes. I wanted to be alone for a minute. I just needed a single minute to have to myself away from this world. “I need to use the restroom.”
“It’s right over there,” he pointed.
I made my way through the crowd to the surprisingly vacant bathroom. Everyone was in the bar area, probably congratulating Dennis. That was the part I wanted to avoid the most. I didn’t want to be a part of his celebration. He was a fraud, an asshole. I didn’t want to be there for his happiness. More than that, I didn’t want to be on the receiving end either. I think I’d explode if I had to sit through a million people telling me how lucky I was to have a man as powerful as Dennis Darth in my life.
I pulled open my clutch and took out a tube of lipstick. I needed to freshen up a little bit. Just because I was miserable didn’t mean I should look miserable. Just as I was sweeping on a layer of lipstick, the door pushed open. My eyes perked open. It was Bethany Howell. Of course, she’d be here. Great, this is exactly what I need.
Bethany sauntered to the empty sink next to me. With her, she brought a cold chill into the room. An uneasy feeling passed over me. She was dressed in a short ivory dress and nude colored pumps. She was covered in expensive jewelry from head to toe. Her hair was brushed to one side with a crystal flower barrette clipped at the part. She looked like an exact representation of everything I hated about this world.
“You have to give it to him,” Bethany said while powdering her cheeks. She never once looked at me. “The man knows how to bring the right type of attention to himself.”
I twisted my ring, around and around until the stud was facing upward again. I didn’t know what to say to her. Finally, I replied, “He is good at that. It doesn’t matter what I know he is. All the world sees is this hero, an angel sent from above.”
“Yes, everyone does look at him that way,” she said with an air of knowledge. “It’s funny how many people are deceived by the devil in disguise.”
“You’re the first person to see that,” I laughed. “Who would’ve guessed that Bethany Howell, America’s fucking sweetheart, is the first person capable of relating to me?”
“I see it, Adriana,” she stepped close to me, so she could keep her voice in a low whisper that came out like a snarl. “I also see you ignoring it. You watch him talk down to your mother, belittle her, and somehow you’re the ‘bigger person.’ You’re a coward. You can run away all you want. You can come back and pretend that it’s all okay, that you’re doing this just for your mother’s sake. At the end of the day, you’re just as pathetic as everyone else.” She cocked her head to the side. A new realization had come to her. “Maybe, that’s why Nick lumped you into the same category as the rest of them. He was the smart one to know what you all really are.” She shook her head with a grin. “Face it. You’re just like everybody else here, whether or not you run to Philly for a year. The moment you stepped back into this playground…you ended up being just like everybody else.”
Her words felt like a punch to the gut, but they were all true. She had silently watched the interactions between me and my family. If you weren’t wearing rose colored glasses, I’m sure it was blatantly obvious. I ignored a lot. I put on the bullshit smile and expensive clothes just so I could fit in. It didn’t matter if it was for Wes or for my mom or for the better of everyone. I still did it. I was just as much of a coward as the rest of them.
“You’re right,” I breathed.
She raised her hand as if to put it on my shoulder, but then flinched away and set it at her side, “Adriana, I know…but what are you going to do about it?” She smirked. “Have a wonderful evening.”
The question left me feeling stunned. She shook her head lightly and left the bathroom. Again, I was alone. It was an overwhelming and unwelcoming feeling. Shit, I needed to get out of here.
I grabbed my clutch and left the bathroom. Wes was leaning at the bar speaking with the bartender. I raced over to him, feeling sick and ready to leave. He immediately picked up on the sense of urgency. He pulled me aside and said into my ear, “Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“Sorry, I was talking to a friend,” I answered shortly. “I think I’m ready to go home. Is it okay if we get out of here?”
This was a pretty shitty position to put Wes in. He was hosting a huge event that clearly would bring his business to a new level. If he left, he’d be freaking out all night long. He couldn’t oversee his staff. He couldn’t make sure everything was going according to plan. Instead, I was asking him to give all this up to take me back to his house to watch me sleep. Well, I had never been a girlfriend before, but somehow, it was already clear to me that I was pretty bad at being one.
“Adriana, I need you to talk to me,” he grasped both of my cheeks in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “Something happened. You were fine a minute ago. Baby, please, tell me what happened. You know I can’t leave right now. This is my business. I’m working.” Tears threatened to escape my eyes. “Fuck.” Wes cursed. He pulled me into a hug, holding me close to his chest. “Can you give me thirty minutes? Let me just get everything in order, and I’ll take you back to my place.”
“I’m sorry,” was all I could say. If I dare spoke another word, I’d start crying. I couldn’t cause a scene. Not here, not on Wes’s big night that I was already fucking up.
He gave me a kiss and looked me over, clearly concerned about my change in mood. He asked, “Do you want to wait in my car? You can have all the privacy you need. I promise I won’t be long.” I nodded my head. Wes dug into his pocket to retrieve his keys. “I’m parked in the back of the building.”
Without another word, I started to make my way out of the bar. I did my best to look natural, so no one would stop me or notify my mom. Occasionally, I’d offer a meek wave to anyone who’d make eye contact with me. Finally, I was out, unscathed. I exhaled, already feeling ten times better than when I was in there.
I started walking around back but immediately slowed down when I heard a commotion. I recognized the voices. My emotions were already wild. This was a horrible time for this shi
t to be happening. I started running until I met the noise.
When I got around to the back of the building, my mom was pushed up against the wall, crying. Dennis was red faced with a drink in one hand and an index finger pointed in her face. He was drunk, very drunk. I have no idea what the hell he was screaming at her for, but I had enough of the bullshit.
“Get the fuck out of her face!” I screamed. “What the hell is your problem?”
Dennis hesitated before he took a small step back. My mom wiped away her tears, shaking her head back and forth, “Adriana, leave. This isn’t any of your business. Just turn around and leave.”
“Why? So this asshole can keep doing this shit to you? I’m sick and fucking tired of ignoring the bullshit!” My free hand was clenched together in a tight fist. My blood was boiling in a way I didn’t even know possible.
Dennis threw his hands up into the air. He slurred, “Big, fucking deal, Adriana! What the fuck are you going to do? Run your mouth some more? Just shut the fuck up, you little bitch! You’re just like your mother! I’m sick and tired of hearing the both of you!”
I don’t know what came over me. I stopped thinking, and I started acting. I decided to separate myself from the assholes in this world. Bethany was right. Before right now, I hadn’t really changed. All I did was separate myself, but now it was time.
I punched Dennis right in the face. He doubled back, grabbing his jaw. When he looked up, he was furious. My ring had cut him across the chin. Blood oozed from the wound. He spat more out on the ground.
“You little cunt,” he cursed.
My fist hurt, but I was prepared to hit him again. My mother ran between the two of us. She put both of her hands out, stopping us both. My breathing was heavy. Adrenaline pulsed in my veins. I wasn’t ready to back down. I knew I could take him. This wasn’t Adriana. This was Jersey, and she was invincible.