by Marie Force
“Nathan.” She pushed gently but insistently on his chest. “What you said last night, the reason you couldn’t stay. Nothing’s changed. And if we do this, it’ll only make it harder—”
“Not possible,” he joked.
“Stop,” she said, laughing. “Don’t make jokes. I’m serious.”
“I know.” His mouth twisted into a grudging expression. “And I know you’re right, as much as it pains me.”
She looped her arms around his waist and pushed hard against his arousal. “Does it help to know I want you just as much?”
“Ah, yeah,” he said through gritted teeth. “Sure.”
“I do. And if I wasn’t certain it would make things worse rather than better, I’d be dragging you upstairs right now.”
He groaned. “I could do without that visual if you’re saying no.”
“I’m saying I wish. I wish so many things were different.”
He leaned his forehead against hers and stayed there for a long time before he pressed kisses to both her cheeks. “Are you opening the center tomorrow?”
She nodded. “And then I’ll be at the hospital waiting to hear about Gus’s surgery.”
“I have court first thing, and then I’ll try to come by the hospital.”
“You’re going back to work? Already?”
“Light duty this week. I have to appear at a hearing on that pedophile case.” His face clouded. “I was the first one in, so I’m the only one who saw . . .”
Georgie swallowed. “Saw what?”
“What he was doing to her before he pulled a gun from under the pillow and started shooting.” His tone was matter-of-fact, but she saw the truth in his eyes.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Once in court will be plenty. Besides, I’d never want you to have that picture in your mind. Never.”
She reached up to cradle his face in her hands. “You take care of everyone, Nathan Caldwell. Who takes care of you?”
“I’m advertising to fill the position right now. Interested in applying?”
“You make a joke whenever something strikes too close to home.”
“I do?” he asked, seeming genuinely surprised.
“Uh-huh.”
He shrugged. “I don’t need a lot.”
“Everyone needs some.”
Turning his face into her hand, he kissed the palm. “Are you offering?”
“For what it’s worth, I wish I could.”
“It’s worth a lot. What about you? Who takes care of you when you’re in Atlanta?”
Georgie had to think about that.
“Doug the agent?” he asked with a sneer.
She laughed. “Hardly.”
“Then what were you doing with him?”
“He was a distraction.”
“Is that what I am?”
“No, Nathan, you’re a delight.” She shifted her hands from his face to the back of his head, pulling him down to her. Pouring herself into the kiss, she tried to show him, to tell him.
He raised his head to stare at her.
Georgie’s heart thumped in her chest.
“I have to go,” he whispered. “Before I can’t.” Hugging her tight, he touched another light kiss to her lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thank you for sharing your family with me. It was a wonderful day.”
“My pleasure, sweetheart.” He squeezed her hand and released it. “I’ll wait until you get in.”
Georgie unlocked the door and turned back to him. “Sleep well.”
“Not likely,” he said with that irresistible smile.
From inside, she watched him amble down the stairs to his car. He waved on his way by.
Georgie stood there for a long time wondering why she had let the best thing that had ever happened to her leave.
She trudged up the stairs with a heavy heart. While she had succeeded in putting most of her worries aside during the day with Nathan, they all came back down on her the minute she was alone in the big, quiet house.
After being surrounded all afternoon and evening by Nathan’s big, loving family, she was more acutely aware of what was gone from her own life.
She wondered if Tess had given in to temptation and slept with Ben. They had been awfully cozy by the fire, and Georgie wouldn’t be surprised if Tess didn’t make it home that night. Cat was at work, but Ian had put Rosie to bed in Kevin’s house and left a short time later. Georgie had suspected he was going to find Cat.
Wound up and frustrated after sending Nathan home, Georgie decided to do some more work in her mother’s room. She changed into the boxers and cami she slept in and put her hair up in a high ponytail. She taped together another box and took it in with her.
The room was so quiet, almost eerily quiet, that she flipped on her mother’s bedside radio and brought the jewelry box over to the bed. She sat to go through the mostly costume pieces, again making a small pile of things to keep for herself and Ali and a larger pile to get rid of. A few of the pins brought back memories of Christmases and Halloweens past. Long after Georgie and Ali had given up trick-or-treating, their mother had still dressed up to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids.
Inside a velvet box, she found her grandmother’s engagement ring and realized she needed to add it to the list of valuables she had to bring to probate court on Tuesday. At some point, she and Ali would have to decide what to do about all the valuables, including the house.
At the bottom of the jewelry box, she found a false bottom that she lifted to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. Two pieces of paper were folded into the small space. One was addressed to Ali, the other to her. Georgie opened hers to find a key taped to the bottom and her mother’s familiar handwriting.
My darling Georgie,
If you’ve found this, then you’ve reached the point where you feel strong enough to go through my things. I’m so sorry for all I put you and your sister through the last few months, but having you both here with me brought me such joy in my final days.
By now you’ve probably discovered there’s not much of any value among my things. As you well know, I was never one for fancy clothes or jewelry. The things I valued most in my life couldn’t be paid for with money or worn on a finger. You, my darling child, you and your sister were the ones I cherished above all others. You were the loves of my life.
Georgie held the letter aside when she was so blinded by tears she could no longer see through them to read. A few minutes passed before she could work up the courage to continue.
When I look back over my life, I have few regrets. But the ones I do have are not insignificant. I regret that I smothered you, that when you went far away to college you never came home again because you knew if you did you’d never truly be independent from me. I’m sorry it took me so long to let go, and I’m sorry you felt you had to go so far away—and stay there so long—to make your own way.
I’m proud of you, Georgie. Truly proud of the caring, compassionate, independent, successful woman you grew up to be. Since I’m not around for you to kill, I suppose it’s time to confess that I’ve been planning your wedding in my mind for years. Upstairs in the attic you’ll find my wedding dress hanging in one of the garment bags. I have little hope that it’ll suit your finely tuned sense of style (how you came by that with me as your mother is anyone’s guess!), but it’s yours if you’d like to wear it or alter it to suit you. My feelings won’t be hurt (even in heaven) if you wear something of your own choosing. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy.
I’ve been squirreling away the money to pay for this big day I dreamed of for you from every paycheck I’ve ever received at the center. The key below is for a safety deposit box at the credit union. Inside you’ll find a passbook for an account in your name. When you’re ready to get married, I hope you’ll use this money to pay for a day that makes all your dreams come true. Or, if you’d rather, use it as a down payment on a house. Either way, I hope you’ll think of m
e and remember always how very much I love you.
Be kind to yourself, follow your heart, put love before everything else, and be happy, Georgie. Be very, very happy, my love. You made my life.
Mom
Georgie’s sobs echoed through the quiet room. Without taking the time to think about the implications, she crossed the hall to her room and rifled through her purse in search of the note Nathan had written to her after the first night they spent together. When she found it, she wiped her eyes and used her cell phone to call the number he had given her.
His voice was heavy and sleepy sounding.
“Nathan.”
“Georgie? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
“I . . .” She couldn’t seem to form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence.
“I’m coming. I’ll be right there.”
Before she could protest or remind him he had court in the morning, the phone went dead.
Downstairs, Georgie unlocked the front door and sat on the bottom step, her face buried in her crossed arms. She hadn’t known this kind of pain was possible. The numbness that followed her mother’s death had lifted, leaving her raw and unprotected from this latest blow.
When she heard the pounding of Nathan’s footsteps on the porch stairs, she raised her head.
Before she could get up, he was through the door wearing only gym shorts and running shoes.
He came to a halt at the sight of her tearstained face and dropped to his knees in front of her. She could tell by the sheen of sweat on his forehead that he had run to her. Right in that moment, the door to her heart swung open and let him in.
Reaching out to brush a tear off her cheek, he said, “What, baby? What happened?”
“I found . . .” She shook her head when she couldn’t continue.
He pulled her onto his lap and sat on the floor with his arms around her. “Georgie,” he whispered, curling his hand around her neck under her ponytail. “Shh.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You were sleeping.”
“I wasn’t. I was thinking of you and wishing I was with you.”
His hair was damp and his jaw smooth.
“You smell good,” she said, burying her runny nose in the crook of his neck.
“I took a long cold shower when I got home.”
Despite her tears, despite her heartbreak, he made her laugh. “You forgot your shirt.”
“Be glad I remembered the shorts. I was moving pretty fast.”
“I just wanted to talk to you, but thank you for moving fast, for coming.”
“What did you find, sweetheart?”
“A letter from my mother.”
“Georgie.” He tightened his hold on her.
“Do you want to read it?”
“Only if you want me to.”
“I do. I want to show it to you.” When she started to get up, he stopped her.
“Wait until you’re ready.”
He held her for a long time before she said she felt better. She got up and extended a hand to him.
Keeping his hand wrapped around hers, he followed her upstairs. At the door to her mother’s room, he took a long look at the boxes. “Don’t you have anyone who can help you with this?”
She shook her head, picked up the letter and handed it to him. “Let’s go in my room. I’ve had enough in here for today.” On her way out, she turned off the radio and the light and closed the door behind her.
Nathan stretched out on Georgie’s bed and held out his arm to invite her to lie with him.
She curled up next to him and listened to the steady cadence of his breathing as he read the letter.
“Wow,” he said when he finished. “That’s amazing.”
“You know, it’s funny. She used to say all the time that she couldn’t picture herself as an elderly woman. What’s ironic is that she knew everything there was to know about old people except how to become one.”
Nathan fingered the key taped to the bottom of the letter. “Are you going to get the passbook?”
“At some point. I still can’t believe she did that.”
“It’s an incredible gift, Georgie, the letter, the money, all of it. I don’t know if you can see it that way right now, but maybe someday . . .”
“I know it is. It was just so shocking to find it. I could hear her talking in that letter. It brought her back, however briefly, and then when it was over, it was like she had died again. I think that’s what got me so upset.”
“I can’t imagine life without my mother,” he confessed. “Even at thirty-three and even from afar, she plays such a huge role in my life.”
“I can see how she would be more like a wonderful friend now that you’re all grown.”
“She is. Yours was, too.”
“Yes. In some ways, my very best friend, and yet I had no idea she dreamed of my wedding. She opened the center when I was six and worked without a paycheck the first year. So for twenty-three years she’s been saving for a wedding she didn’t live to see. That makes me so sad. It kind of makes sense, now, though.”
“What does?”
“The night before she died, we talked about some of the things she was going to miss—my wedding, any kids I might have. She was very concerned about her death ruining those things for me and wanted me to know that she’d be with me, for all of it.”
“I’m sure this is part of what she meant. I’ll bet it’s a lot of money.”
“No doubt.”
“You don’t have to do anything about it now, Georgie. Not until you’re ready. And when you are, I’ll go with you to get it if you want me to.”
She looked up at him. “You will?”
“Sure I will.”
Pressing a kiss to his chest, she said, “Thank you. For coming when I needed you, for being such a good guy.”
“It’s not everyone I’d run half naked through the streets of Newport for.”
“I should hope not,” she said with a laugh.
“Guess who’s over at my house.”
“Who?”
“Tess—in Ben’s room, giggling up a storm while trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t know they’re in there.”
“No way! She said she wasn’t going to be fast and easy like the rest of us.”
“The rest of who?”
Uh-oh, Georgie thought, remembering she hadn’t told him about Ian and Cat. “Me and you. They know what happened.”
“Me and you and who else?”
“I hate that you’re a detective,” she grumbled.
“It would do you well to remember that and not try to put stuff past me.” He poked her ribs, which made her squeal. “Who else?”
“Who else is there?”
“Ian and Cat?”
“Down and dirty,” Georgie confirmed.
“After they went out to dinner?”
“Apparently, there was no dinner.”
“No way.”
“You can’t let on that I told you. I promised her I wouldn’t.”
“This is good. He needs a girlfriend. It’s been too long.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call her his girlfriend. I don’t think that’s how it’s going to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“Picture more of a friends-with-benefits arrangement.”
“Sex buddies?”
“Something like that.”
“Huh.” Nathan ran a hand over his chin as he considered it. “That’s not his style. I’m surprised he agreed to it.”
Georgie shrugged. “Whatever floats their boat.”
“I wouldn’t go for that, personally.”
“No, you wouldn’t.”
Their eyes met, and Georgie couldn’t look away. “I’m tired,” she whispered.
“Go to sleep. I’ll go in a minute.”
“No.”
“No?”
Her hand traveled from his chest to his taut belly and back up again. “I’m tired of fighting whatever this is that’s happening between us.
Fighting it is so exhausting.”
“Georgie.” He released an unsteady breath. “You’ve had a long day, an emotional day. This isn’t the time—”
She stopped him with a finger to his lips. “Make love to me, Nathan. Make love to me the way you said you wanted to before.”
He swallowed hard. “No condoms.”
“I know where there’re some. I’ll go get them.”
His hand closed around her arm, stopping her from getting up. “Are you sure, Georgie? Really sure?”
“Yes. I’m sure.”
Chapter 24
Tess scooted over against the wall to give Ben plenty of room to get into the full-sized bed. The T-shirt he had given her to sleep in rode up over her underwear, so she tugged it back down with a hand that had grown damp with nerves. Jumping into bed with a man she had met two days ago—not to mention sharing his toothbrush—went against everything she believed in. However, jumping into bed with Ben just felt right. Why? She had no idea, and she wasn’t in the mood to question it.
He hobbled across the hall from the bathroom wearing only a pair of sweats with socks.
As she took in her first view of his bare chest, her mouth went dry with longing. As he came closer, she noticed the scars that dotted his right side and remembered what he had told her about his shrapnel wounds.
“Kind of hot for sweats, isn’t it?”
“It’s more comfortable when it’s covered up,” he said, gesturing to his leg.
Tess held out a hand to help him into bed. “Okay?”
“Yeah.” He grimaced as he adjusted his leg. “Give me a second.”
As she watched him breathe through the pain, she reached out to lay a hand on his chest and felt his heart beating fast.
He covered her hand with his but kept his eyes closed tight against the agony.
“You can’t live like this. We have to do something.”
“We?”
“Yes. You and me.”
“You make me believe anything’s possible.”
“It is.”
He finally opened his eyes and turned so he could see her. “You aren’t going to tell me you’re an alien or a felon on the run or married or anything else that’s going to ruin my life forever, are you?”