by J. Saman
“Can we handle this new software going live, plus the clients you’re trying to bring in, plus Tommy’s app, plus our other shit?” I run a tense hand through my hair, feeling the overwhelming anxiety creep up my spine.
“We need to hire some people, Ryan. Like yesterday. If you don’t want us to go big time, then why did you give me this software to look at?” He has a point. “You’ve worked really hard to get here, man, and no one deserves it more than you. Between the accident, Francesca, the shit with your cousin trying to nab your money and turn you into the FBI, you’ve been through enough. I get that you’re private, but you can stay low-key and still do this if that’s what you really want.”
“Fine,” I sigh out, resigned. “Do what you think is best. I trust you with this.” And I do. He’s the only one I would.
“Right on. Where the hell are you now?”
I laugh. “San Fran.”
“Same woman?”
Does he have to know everything? “Yes.”
He laughs. “Awesome. Can’t wait to meet her. Later.” He hangs up and I toss my phone down on the couch next to me.
If he gets to meet her.
I made love to Katie last night. I’ve never done anything remotely close to that before, but hell, that’s exactly what I did. I even told her that I loved her, though I don’t think she heard me since I mumbled it into her neck and she didn’t react in any way.
I don’t know what to do.
I know she’s going to leave me when we get to Seattle.
I can feel it like the calm before the storm, and I have no idea how to stop it. I’ll try though. I’ll try like hell because I can’t imagine my life going forward without her in it. The idea of life without her feels colorless and dull, much the way it was before she entered it. I was simply coasting through. Working constantly and fucking faceless women as needed to release the tension.
I can’t go back to that.
I need Katie.
But I’m trying to prepare myself for the inevitable all the same.
She walks through the double French doors into the living room. Her wet hair is braided over one shoulder, dampening the material of her white, long-sleeved shirt. Her jeans are tight and strategically ripped in various places, and she’s got her black Chucks on.
She’s so unbelievably beautiful it’s almost too much.
“That shower is killer. I could move in and never want to leave,” she says as she walks over to me, reaching out to run her fingers into my hair. “You ready to go exploring, or do you need more time?”
“Waiting on you, love,” I stand up, looking down on her, daring her to challenge me with the moniker I’ve been freely giving her. She won’t, of course, too afraid of the answer.
“Then let’s shake our asses.”
I laugh, leaning down to kiss her before taking her hand and leading her out the door of our suite. It’s a sunny day, but only in the mid-sixties. Chilly considering what we’ve been used to, but nice to walk around in.
We’re only here the rest of today and tomorrow, so our plan is to explore near our hotel today and do Golden Gate Park tomorrow. We also have reservations for dinner and I know Katie wants to hit up a particular bar tonight, so I think we’ll do that after.
Walking hand and hand through China Town, Katie is the most animated I’ve seen her yet. She’s talking constantly and pointing at a million different things.
She likes it here.
I can tell.
And for every positive thing she points out about the city, I find myself saying something negative. I realize it’s a dick move, but I can’t seem to help myself.
I just made some comment about the exorbitant cost of living when she stops me in the middle of the sidewalk, looking up at me with an expression I cannot read. Then without warning she jumps up into my arms as I reflexively reach out to catch her. I’m laughing as I adjust her ridiculously light weight in my hands so that I’m holding her up by her ass—yup, I’m a pig like that.
Her arms are wrapped around my neck and she’s looking at me with a contemplative expression. “You don’t want me to move here.”
It’s not a question, but I feel the need to respond anyway. “No.”
“You want me to move to Seattle,” she tilts her head, trying to read my face. Her platinum blonde hair glowing in the sun.
Again it’s not a question, but I answer her without hesitation. “Yes.”
She doesn’t smile and I can’t seem to be able to read what she’s thinking, which is not the norm for her. After a beat of staring into each other’s eyes, she leans into my ear and whispers, “What if I don’t like Seattle?”
“You will,” I tell her simply.
She pulls back to look at me and a wry smile is pulling at the corner of her mouth. Leaning in, she kisses me hard before wiggling herself free and standing on the sidewalk again.
“It is rather expensive to live here,” is all she says, taking my hand and pulling me on. There’s not much more I can say on the subject after that.
We spent hours roaming around, which was incredible. After our mini moment in the street, I stopped making disparaging comments and just enjoyed how cool the city is. It’s really something else.
Street cars and old Victorian style houses and buildings, the ridiculous hills. I think my favorite was China town. Katie’s too.
We took a long nap and ate dinner in our previously appointed restaurant—again, thanks Claire—before heading over to the bar Katie had heard about.
It is in a converted warehouse so it’s essentially a large open space with sky high ceilings and exposed piping. Very trendy, with a heavy bass beat in the background as well as black mood lighting and candles. The bar takes up an entire wall with more shelves of alcohol than I’ve ever seen.
Katie spots a tiny place to sit off to the right, and goes to snag it while I get us a couple of drinks.
I’ve finally manage to get the attention of the bartender and order Katie’s apple martini and my whiskey when I feel hands sliding up my back. I spin around with a smile on my lips expecting it to be Katie, but it’s not.
It’s Francesca.
My smile dies instantly.
“Ryan Grant,” she purrs, her dark eyes eating me up from top to bottom and then back again. “Fancy seeing you here. You look amazing. I like the beard.” Liar, is the main thought that filters in my mind before, what the fuck?
She looks good too, but I’m not about to say that to her.
Her dark, stick-straight hair is down her back, and she’s wearing the smallest of dresses that show off her curvy figure. As always she has on more makeup than I like, but that too looks good on her.
No doubt that Francesca is a beautiful woman, but she pales in comparison to Katie. It’s not even a contest.
“Hello, Francesca. Nice to see you.” It’s not. That was a lie, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“What are you doing in San Fran? I know you didn’t fly here,” she says this like that amuses her, my newfound fear of flying. She was not the most attentive or nurturing after the accident, and that alone should have tipped me off to the type of person that she is.
“I’m traveling with someone. What about you?” And why is the bartender taking forever to make our drinks?
“I’m here for business, of course,” she says this as if I should already know. Then she leans into me, running her hand up my chest. “I’ve missed you.”
I take her hand and pull it away from me, trying to extricate myself from her venomous clutches.
Francesca takes a step back, and as she does, her eyes widen before her expression turns superior and calculating. A small hand curls around my bicep and I look down into Katie’s sweet, smiling face.
She looks stunning in an ice blue dress that brings out the color of her eyes, and dips low enough to give me the greatest view of her perfect cleavage. The only makeup Katie has on is ey
elash shit, something that makes her cheeks glow, and lip gloss.
And she blows Francesca out of the water.
“That seat that I found for us was already taken,” she says, either oblivious to Francesca’s presence or ignoring it entirely. “It was too small for you, anyway. I would have had to sit on your lap in my tiny dress.” I can feel Francesca stiffen, that’s how close she is to us, before Katie’s eyes turn in her direction. “Oh sorry,” Katie grins at her. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Francesca’s dark eyes narrow as she takes Katie in and then reaches out a perfectly manicured hand. “It’s not a problem. I’m Francesca. Ryan’s ex-girlfriend,” she says this like it’s a badge of honor. Does she not get the ex part?
“I’m Kate,” Katie smiles, shaking her hand, before tilting her head to the side like she’s thinking long and hard about this. It’s an act. I know it is, but it’s also driving Francesca wild that Katie didn’t instantly admit to recognizing her name. “Francesca?” she muses. “Oh right.” She looks up to me. “You mentioned her once, I think.”
Francesca is fuming, and since she majored in bitch, I’m a little worried as to where this is headed.
“Well, I’m sure you haven’t known Ryan all that long, since I’ve never heard of you.”
I laugh, running my hand around Katie’s tiny waist, pulling her into my side and kissing the corner of her mouth. “I’ve technically known Katie since I was ten and she was six, but we didn’t reunite until recently. Anyway, it was nice seeing you again, Francesca.” I turn my back to her and face Katie full on. “Don’t worry about the seat,” I shrug. “It’s fine. Though the thought of you sitting on my lap all night in that dress does sound good,” I smile, kissing her irresistible lips again. Her damn gloss tastes like raspberries. “The bartender is backed up, but our drink order is in the queue.”
Katie waves me off. “Great. I’m in no rush. This bar is fun.”
“Ryan?” Francesca places her hand on my arm, turning me toward her. “I need to talk to you. Surely your little friend here understands.” Her eyes glare in on Katie before turning back to me with what is meant to look like an adoringly seductive grin.
“Not interested.”
“Ryan, you can’t be serious about this flavor of the moment.” She looks at Katie. “No offense honey, but before me he was a fuck ‘em and leave ‘em sort of guy.”
“Stop it, Francesca,” I warn.
“No, it’s fine,” Katie says to me with her sweet smile. “You two should talk. I’ll just run to the ladies’ room.”
“Katie—”
“Ryan, just let her go. Clearly she wants to,” Francesca says, stepping into me.
I step back, towards Katie, who crooks her finger, drawing my head down to her height. “Talk to her, Ryan,” Katie says in my ear. “It’s not a problem, and if you decide you want her back, well, I get it. She’s beautiful, and clearly still interested.”
She kisses my cheek and before I can say anything in response, she’s gone. Now I’m fucking furious because Francesca just made my Katie feel like she’s less than she is, and I can’t stand that.
I turn on Francesca, ready to unleash holy hell on her. “What the fuck, Franny? How dare you speak to her like that?” My hands are fisted at my sides. The people standing around us all turn to look, but I don’t care.
They can look all they want.
She waves me off like it was nothing, placing her hands on her hips. “Oh please,” she steps into me again. “I’ve missed you, Ryan. So much.” Her brown eyes, that I once thought were the be all, end all, shine up at me. “We were so good together.”
“Good together?” I scoff. “Franny, you cheated on me.” I don’t really want to focus on that right now. It’s hardly the point and it doesn’t matter. I shake my head slightly. “Whatever. I’m happy with Katie. Please, Franny, just go.”
“You can’t be serious about her, Ryan.” Her mouth forms into a frustrated frown. “You barely know her.” She’s stomping her foot at me like a child who was denied a new toy.
“I am serious about her. I’m fucking in love with her,” I point in the direction that Katie just went. “Katie is all I could ever want. So. Go.”
“You can’t be in love with her,” she yells at me, pointing a finger into my chest. “She’s using you for your money.” She leans back, crossing her arms like she’s just made the point of the century. “Or can’t you tell what she’s really after?”
I laugh out, humorlessly crossing my arms the way she has. “Sort of the pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?” She looks confused. So dumb. What did I ever see in this girl? “Do you know where she and I slept last night? In the back of her damn Prius. She never complained once, because she thought it was cool and romantic.” Franny rolls her eyes like that’s beneath her, muttering something that sounds like whatever, but it’s hard to hear in this stupid bar. “Katie could give two shits about money. In fact, she hates it when I spend any on her, which I love doing by the way.” Yes, I’m being petulant, sue me. Francesca scoffs, turning her head to the side, her eyes rolling again. “She likes to run and hike and watch the sunrise, and she’s goddamn perfect. I want her,” I point again towards the bathroom. “Not you.”
“She’ll never love you the way I do,” she sneers. “You think you love her, but she doesn’t know you like I do.”
“Oh. You mean she won’t cheat on me with my friend? Or try to suck my money dry while complaining that what she has isn’t enough and that she needs more?” I calm down.
Why am I entertaining this? Francesca is old news and I’m so done with her.
“But really I should thank you. Without you being a cheating, money-grubbing, narcissist, I probably never would have gotten together with her.” Does it make me a dick if I’m being completely honest with her? Probably, yeah.
Francesca tosses her silky mane over her shoulder and stalks off. I’m not usually one for confrontation like that, but I have to admit, it felt really good to do that. The irony of all of this? I’m not even angry with Francesca. I could care less about her and my blowing up like that was misplaced.
I’m angry with myself, and maybe with Katie a little too.
Finally, the bartender places my whiskey and Katie’s martini down and before he can walk off, I’m tossing my drink back and ordering two shots. Katie’s hand glides along my arm as she slides in next to me, her back leaning against the bar as she turns to face me. Her drink in hand, she takes a long pull then licks her lips.
She always does that after she tastes something she likes.
It’s sexy and adorable. Just like her.
“Yummy. That’s good,” Katie twists, placing her drink on the bar behind her before turning back and scanning the large open bar behind me. “Where’s my new BFF?”
I reach my arm around her, placing my hands on the bar on either side of her, essentially caging her in. Katie and I have been dancing around this thing between us, and that little confrontation with Francesca made me want to clear the air…well for the most part, anyway.
I know Katie doesn’t feel the same way about me as I feel about her, but I don’t want any more confusion.
This may be a stupid move that backfires on me, but we’ll see.
“Katie?” I say quietly, but loud enough so she can hear me over the constant hum of voices and the heavy drum and bass beat going. I’m a few inches from her face and her eyes are widened in surprise and anticipation. No doubt as a result of my expression. “Francesca is a non-issue. She’s gone and will never be a part of my life again.” The spark of pleasure in her eyes drives me forward. “But you need to understand something once and for all.”
Her teeth sink into her lip as the tension between us builds.
“I want you, Katie. Only you,” my tone softens and I reach up to cup her cheek, her head leaning into my touch. “I’m crazy about you.”
“You are?” she breat
hes, but it’s reluctant, as if she wants to hear the answer to the question, but is terrified of it all the same.
I nod. “Yes, but I know you already know that.” She swallows hard, blinking up at me a few times. Her long dark lashes fanning her cheeks. “I’m not telling you this to pressure you into anything. I’m not asking you for anything. I know you’re not ready for that. I’m just making sure that you know, so there’s no confusion going forward.”
She swallows again and nods at me, her eyes glistening.
She’s so damn gorgeous. Leaning in, my lips press against hers and she instantly returns my kiss with the same level of intensity. When we pull back, she grabs my shirt, pulling me so we’re against each other, chest to chest.
“I’m crazy about you too, Ryan,” she says, looking up at me, our eyes locked. “I am. That’s not what’s holding me back. I can’t…” she looks down quickly before meeting my eyes once more. “I’m not ready, and I’m sorry about that. I wish I was different. I wish things were different because I’d keep you forever. Part of me even wants that. I’m just…” she huffs out a heavy breath. “I’m just a mess.”
“No, sweetheart, you’re so unbelievably amazing.” I wrap my arms around her, kissing her again. When we pull back I can see the conflicted agony in her gorgeous blue eyes. “Let’s not talk about this anymore. You know how I feel and where I stand, and I know the same about you. Now we can put it aside and try to have some fun tonight.” I brush my lips against her jaw.
“I’m good with that,” she smiles brightly, turning around for her drink only to notice the two shots I ordered are waiting for us. “Shots?” she throws me a raised brow.
“Yup,” I raise a brow of my own. “You with me on this?”
“Hells to the fuck yeah,” she laughs, bumping her hip into me. The serious mood from moments ago is gone, and we’re back to being playful.