by Laura Lee
“I know,” I groan. “I don’t know what to say either, Gavin. I’ve never had to answer to someone before. This is all new to me. You know that.”
“So that makes it okay?” he asks, incredulity in his tone.
“No, it doesn’t make it okay,” I offer. “I’m just trying to explain where I’m coming from.”
He sighs. “How would you feel if the situation were reversed? If you showed up at my house in the middle of the night to find a half-naked woman coming out of my room? And then I can’t tell you anything that happened prior to that?”
“I’d be pissed,” I admit. “And hurt.” I turn toward him. “Gavin, I wish I could give you a better explanation but I can’t. I don’t remember.”
“I don’t know what to say, Kat.”
“Me neither.”
We sit there in silence for a moment before Dylan comes into the room, fully dressed, with his car keys dangling from his hand.
Gavin glares at him. “You’re really pushing it, kid.”
“Kid? Ha! That’s rich, Mr. Cooper. Considering I’m only three weeks younger than your girlfriend here.”
Gavin stands up with his fists clenched. “Get the hell out of here.”
Dylan rolls his eyes. “I’m going, Teach. I overheard your little lover’s spat and just wanted to clear things up before I leave. For Kat’s sake, not yours.”
Gavin sits down. “Then by all means, enlighten us.”
“Nothing fucking happened,” Dylan says. “She drank too much, stumbled home, and I put her to bed. I stayed behind because I couldn’t drive at that point. This piece of shit couch is too small for me. I tried sleeping on it, but eventually gave up. I tried Cybil’s old room but all her furniture is gone, so I went into Kat’s. She slept. I slept. We were both clothed.”
“And you thought being in your underwear was appropriate?” Gavin challenges.
Dylan rolls his eyes again. “Again, sorry to point this out—oh, who am I kidding…no, I’m not— but it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before. Many times.”
Okay, I’m really grateful to Dylan for confirming that nothing bad happened but did he have to go there? I grab Gavin’s hand when I feel him tensing, getting ready to stand. Probably to break Dylan’s jaw, I’m guessing.
“Dylan, thank you for filling in the gaps. I really think Gavin and I need to be alone now.”
“Whatever, Kitty,” Dylan huffs. “I’ll talk to you later.”
Gavin and I wait until the door is closed before saying anything else.
“Kat, I’m going to ask you something and you need to be honest with me.”
“Go on.”
“Do you have a drinking problem?”
“What? Of course not!”
“What else am I supposed to think?” he asks. “This isn’t the first time I’ve found you in a bad situation due to alcohol. People don’t normally drink this heavily this often unless they’re feeding an addiction. After what I told you about my birth mother, I’m sure you can appreciate how sensitive I am to alcoholism.”
“Of course I can appreciate it,” I snap. “My own mother is a fucking heroin addict. Among other things. I get it. Probably more than most people.”
“Well, then please explain it to me.”
I sigh. “Look, we were just hanging out. Besides you, they’re the only people in this world that I feel safe with. I overdid it because I can actually relax around them. But I don’t have to drink much to make that happen. I’m 5’2” and a hundred and ten pounds soaking wet, Gavin. It doesn’t take much, especially when I’m drinking liquor. You can’t tell me that you didn’t drink in high school.”
“No, I can’t.”
“So where do we go from here?”
He pulls me into his side and tucks my head into the crook of his neck. “Look, all I’m asking is that you’re more careful from now on. And that you consider me when you’re out with your friends. I’m not saying that you need to report to me, Kat. I don’t want that at all. Just put yourself in my shoes. Okay?”
“You’re really not giving up on me?”
Gavin shifts so our faces are practically touching. “Oh, baby, you’re not getting rid of me that easily. When I’m in a relationship, Kat, I’m all in. I know you don’t have any experience with this but that’s what I’m here for. We’ll work through it together. Okay?”
A tear drops from my eye. “I feel like you’re too good to be true.”
He smiles. “I think the same thing every time I look at you.”
GAVIN’S WAITING FOR ME with a big smile on his face as I park my car in the garage. I grin when I see him bouncing on the balls of his feet as I walk toward him.
“Merry Christmas,” he says excitedly.
I place a light kiss on his lips. “Christmas isn’t until tomorrow.”
“Christmas Eve counts too,” he argues. “Hence the word Christmas.”
I roll my eyes. “Okay, I’ll give you that one. Even though you’re technically wrong.”
Gavin closes the garage door. “How very kind of you to humor me, Grinch.”
“Oh, just what every girl wants—to be called a grumpy green guy.”
He gives me a playful smack on the ass as we’re walking toward the house. “Just get in the house, smartass.”
“Yes, Mr. Cooper.”
I get a pinch on the ass for that one.
“Holy shit,” I exclaim as I walk into the house. “It looks like the North Pole threw up in here.”
Gavin releases a hearty laugh as I take in the colorful decorations. The exterior lights are subdued but this—this is spectacular. In the center of the living room is fully trimmed tree that shoots up to the ceiling, filling the air with a woodsy pine scent. Knickknacks cover every available surface ranging from cartoonish snowmen to realistic men with long white beards. Lights twinkle from each window and giant throw pillows with reindeer on them adorn the couch. The embellishments continue throughout every room I can see. I’d bet money that the entire house is filled with Santa, snowmen, elves, and reindeer. My brain is trying to play catch-up with my eyes. I’m stunned—I’ve never seen anything like this in real life before. Cybil always said that Christmas was a load of crap meant to help retailers so we’ve never celebrated. Same goes with birthdays or any other holiday, really. Sure, my foster parents made an effort sometimes, but it always felt like an obligation rather than something born from joy. Gavin’s ear-to-ear grin tells me that he derives complete, unadulterated pleasure from this.
“Do you like it?” he asks.
I smile. “It’s really pretty. When did you have time for this?”
“Today. I was storing the boxes at my parents’ house. I called my mom last week asking for a huge favor and they arrived this morning.”
“But why? You’re leaving tomorrow; you won’t even have a chance to enjoy them.”
Gavin leads me to the couch and hands me a mug from the coffee table. “Hot chocolate for the lady.”
I laugh as I look down and see the cup overflowing with marshmallows. I take a sip and moan at the deliciousness of it. “Gavin, seriously. Why?”
He shrugs. “I wanted to do something special for you.”
I’m sure the shock is plain on my face. “For me? Why?”
“Because you’re you,” he says. “Besides, it wasn’t entirely for you. I’ll let you in on a little secret.”
“Besides the fact that you love teenage dramas?”
“Besides that,” he laughs. “It just so happens that I love Christmas. Like, to an embarrassing degree. Have you ever seen the movie Elf? Buddy’s excitement is nothing compared to mine.”
I laugh so hard I’m crying. Visions of Gavin screaming, “Santa? I know him!” run through my head. I set my hot cocoa on the table before it spills.
“My God, you’re beautiful when you laugh. I could never get enough of seeing you like this.”
I sober instantly when I see the look on his face. “Gavin—”
I’m silenced whe
n his lips meet mine. We kiss unhurriedly, savoring each other’s breath. He pulls away when I try escalating things by climbing on top of him. I whimper in protest.
“Kat, we’re never going to get to your present if we keep this up.”
“You’re all the present I need,” I whine.
He stands from the couch, depositing me onto the cushions. “As touching as that is, your actual present might not agree if I don’t bring it out soon.”
“Huh?”
He starts walking down the hall leading to the bedrooms. “Go sit in front of the tree. I’ll be right back.”
I do as he says despite my confusion. My fingers tap the wood floors in a staccato rhythm as I wait. I hear Gavin toward the back of the house fumbling with something. I could swear he’s talking to someone. What the hell is going on? My question is answered when he appears at the end of the hall holding an adorable, squirming, striped brown kitten.
“Oh my God!” I run up to him and grab the kitty out of his arms. She startles for a moment but then releases the sweetest little purr when I tickle behind her ears. “Hello, baby! What’s your name?”
“That’s up to you,” Gavin smiles. He looks at the content furball in my hands and adds, “I think he likes you. Which is good because he’s yours.”
“Mine? You got me a cat?”
“Yeah,” he nods. “You mentioned that you’ve always wanted one. I thought he would make you happy.”
“He?” I peek under its tail. Sure enough, there are two tiny little kitty balls.
He chuckles. “The lady at the humane society said that male cats are better snugglers.” He nods his head to the feline pressing his body into my breasts. “He certainly seems to like snuggling your chest. Lucky bastard.”
I make cooing noises and kiss the kitty’s wet, pink nose. “Oh, don’t listen to that guy, baby. He didn’t mean to call you a bad name.”
Gavin looks at me thoughtfully.
“What?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Nothing. It’s cute seeing you be so nurturing. I wouldn’t think that would come naturally considering…”
“Considering I’ve had shit role models?” I finish.
“Yeah, that,” he laughs.
“It is what it is. I’ve always told myself that if I ever became a mom again, I’ll do the opposite of what Cybil would do and I’ll be set.”
He gives me a sad smile. “Do you want more kids someday?”
“Maybe,” I shrug. “Down the road…like way down the road. I’d have to get away from this town and experience life first, though. Ya know? I need to know that I can take care of myself in the real world before settling down and bringing a helpless child into the mix. Plus, my head needs to be in a better place. Only time will tell if that happens.”
Gavin pets the kitty on the head. “Maybe I can help with that. The better place part.”
I smile at him. “You already are.”
“We’ll talk more about the baby part after.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s a little early to ask if you can put babies in me. Don’t ya think?”
He laughs. “Yeah, maybe. So what are you thinking for names?”
I look into the kitty’s golden green eyes. “He looks like a Frodo to me.”
Gavin’s lips quirk up in the corners. “Really?”
“What’s wrong with Frodo?”
“Nothing. You just never fail to surprise me. You don’t seem like the typical Lord of the Rings fan.”
“Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones…I love them all. When you live in my world, fantasy realms provide a nice break.”
He scratches the cat behind the ears. “Frodo it is, then.” Gavin fumbles with the collar around the kitten’s neck before revealing a shiny silver key. “I do have another question for you.”
“What’s that? Why is there a key around his neck?”
“It’s for you. I know it seems fast but I want you to move in with me.”
“What?” I’m too surprised to string together more words.
I stare as he removes the key from the ring around Frodo’s collar. “Will you move in with me, Kat? You wouldn’t have to work at the club anymore.”
“Is that what this is about?” I ask. “You want me to move in with you so I don’t have to take my clothes off to pay rent?”
“No,” he denies. “I want you to move in because I can’t stand waking up without you. I can’t stand having to go all day without being able to touch you. Our situation isn’t the best but I want to make it better. This allows us to be together as much as possible. I thought getting you out of that apartment and into my bed was a good start.”
Tears prick at my eyes. “Gavin, I can’t.”
His brows furrow. “Why not? It’s the perfect solution.”
“I don’t need a solution,” I insist. “I need to know that I can make it on my own. I need to prove to myself that it’s possible.” When I see the hurt on his face I backpedal. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. They’re completely independent from each other. Am I making any sense?”
“Not really,” he replies. “You’re here more often than not anyway. Why would you pay to keep a place that you barely live in?”
“Because I need to know that I can. I need to know that I have somewhere to go if—” I close my mouth before I step in it any further.
“If what, Kat? If we don’t work out? Is that the problem? You think we won’t make it?”
I release a deep sigh. “Gavin, can you blame me? The people in my past don’t exactly have the best track record. I’m just trying to protect myself. It’s what I do.”
He frames my face with his hands and kisses my forehead. “Baby, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
Frodo wriggles out of my arms as Gavin pulls me into a hug.
“I still can’t move in with you. I’m not going to risk your job any more than we already are.”
“Screw the job; I can get another one.”
I shake my head. “Gavin, I know we haven’t exactly gone the traditional route with our relationship, but I just don’t want to push it. Okay? I want to be with you. I have no intention of going anywhere either but I’m not going to bend on this. It’s too soon to live together.”
It’s his turn to sigh. “I guess I should gather up Frodo’s stuff then, huh?”
I pull back. “I can’t have pets in my apartment.”
Gavin takes my hand and presses his house key into my palm. “Well, then you’ll need this to help take care of him. He can stay here.”
I clutch the key to my chest. “You’re not mad at me?”
He wraps his arms around me again. “No, Kat. I’m not mad. Disappointed, but not mad. Just feel free to use the key whenever you want. I mean it.”
I kiss him lightly on the lips. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
I trace the hard planes of his chest with my index finger. “You still haven’t opened your present.”
He smiles. “Where is it?”
I pull the sweater over my head to reveal my naked torso. Gavin’s eyes darken when I pull at the red ribbon tied into a bow around my breasts. I start walking backwards down the hall toward his bedroom.
“I believe you mentioned something about bows. Care to unwrap me?”
I barely have a chance to squeal before he scoops me up and closes the distance to the bed.
THE PITIFUL PRINCESS IS PACKED TONIGHT. There are more couples than normal, apparently thinking a strip club was the best place to ring in the new year together. This is my fourth VIP dance of the night and there are still two hours before last call. People are definitely in a mood to celebrate by splurging for extras. I’m currently grinding on a thirty-something woman’s lap while her husband watches, clearly turned on by the whole scene. I can tell she’s a first timer—her face is beet red and she’s sitting on her hands, not quite sure what to do with them.
I slowly untie my bikini top and place
it around her neck. “Are you and your husband having a good time tonight, honey?”
I talk to the women a lot more than the men because it seems to lower the awkwardness over receiving a lap dance. As far as I’m concerned, she has nothing to be ashamed of. Most couples come here because they’re trying to spice things up in the bedroom. If anything, she should be proud that she’s open-minded enough to keep their relationship healthy on a sexual level. Not that I’m saying strip clubs are the answer, mind you. Different strokes for different folks and all that.
She blushes further and averts her eyes away from my breasts. “Um, sure. The girls here are all very beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I say. “So are you. Your husband is a lucky man.”
“You got that right,” he says with a big smile.
The woman smiles back at him with obvious affection. “Our ten-year anniversary is today. I wanted to surprise him with something…different.”
I face the husband and loop my arm around his wife’s neck. I roll my body against hers while giving him the sultry expressions that a client expects. “Happy Anniversary.”
“Thank you,” they both reply in unison.
“Is this your first time here?” I ask.
“Yes,” she answers. “I didn’t quite know what to expect. I have to admit…it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be.”
I chuckle as I turn to address her. “Well, that’s always good. I’d hate to sour your night.”
“Oh, you’re not,” she assures me. “I’m…enjoying myself.” She looks away shyly, embarrassed by her admission.
Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is. We both have the same parts, and let’s face it—naked women are pretty to look at. It’s been scientifically proven that women can be easily turned on by another woman, no matter their sexual preference. The timid ones tend to get hung up over what they think they should be thinking or feeling based on societal standards.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Gabby. And that handsome man over there is Rick.”
“Gabby, would you like me to dance for Rick? Would you like to watch that?”
“Um…” She lifts her chin after a moment and nods confidently. “Yes. Yes, I think I would like that.”