“I wanted to talk with Sayda too, but I know she’s not in any mood to hear me out now. I was hoping after this you could convince her to give me a chance,” I say.
“Depends on what you have to say, Kagen. If it’s not good enough, I’m not going to waste my time trying to calm her down. You know that as well as I, so go ahead with what you have to say,” he replies, holding his arms folded in front of him.
“Okay, I don’t have enough time to tell you everything right now. Leadership is watching me, and if I don’t show up for dinner soon, they’ll get suspicious.” Hadwin seems confused by this, but does not interrupt me. “I lied to all of you and for that, I am deeply sorry. I was only trying to do what was best for everyone at the time.” The guilt wells up, threatening to steal my words.
“Wait, what did you lie about? If you’re saying we could’ve gotten to Merrick, we’re gonna have a problem.” Even in the low light, I see his stance tense with agitation. He looks exactly like he did on the night Merrick died; ready to attack me at any moment.
“No, Hadwin, there was nothing we could do about Merrick. He was already dead before I made it out of that tunnel.” My words cut off. I look up at him, searching for the courage to explain what happened.
“If he was already dead, then why did we have a giant charade of rushing back for the search party? And why couldn’t we go back to get him?” he demands, stepping toward me with mounting frustration.
“We were all in danger,” I say. “We weren’t alone in that cavern, and it wasn’t the collapse that killed Merrick.” My words feel as if they linger in the air before hitting him with the full implication of the message.
Hadwin steps closer to me and lowers his voice to an eerie whisper. “Someone in that passage murdered Merrick, and you let him get away?” He buries his index finger into my chest as he demands an explanation. The pressure of his finger against my fractured rib floors me. My collapse stuns Hadwin slightly, but his intensity does not falter.
“That’s why I didn’t tell you guys,” I say, clutching my chest while struggling to get back to my feet. “I knew there would be no stopping you and Sayda from going after Merrick. But the men in there were different. They were heavily armed soldiers. They would’ve killed us all.”
Hadwin is at a loss for words. I see his mind racing, just as mine has been ever since this happened. Being able to finally tell someone makes me feel as if my burden is somehow lessened. I am no longer alone in my knowledge of these sordid events, and that is somewhat of a relief. But it will not help unless he believes me.
“We have to be careful, Hadwin. I am certain part of Leadership is involved with this,” I warn him.
Voices now come from the corridor outside our room. We both turn and listen. The words sound like random conversations of passersby. Even so, this room no longer feels safe.
“There’s more, Hadwin. I need you to get Sayda to meet us during lunch tomorrow. I’ll explain the rest. Okay?” I ask.
“We’ll both be there,” he assures me.
Before leaving, we check to make sure no Leadership personnel are in the hall. Once we are satisfied the way is clear, we both exit the room. I do my best to remain casual in order to deflect any attention from our meeting.
“By the way, thanks for poking me in my broken rib,” I add before he walks into his dinner hall.
“You better hope that’s all Sayda does when she sees you,” he shouts while walking out of view. He seemed to believe me, so that is a good sign. He has always been an understanding friend, and I am counting on that now. Hopefully he forgives me and can convince Sayda to do the same.
While still in the hallway, I get the uneasy feeling someone is watching me. I turn in time to see a person duck around the corner. Were they watching me, or am I being paranoid? I ask myself. I go to the stairs and head down.
My usual dinner hall is filled with people and alive with conversation. After getting my food, I look for my mother and Arluin. They sit in the middle of the hall, and are not alone. Abira looks to be entertaining everyone, since they are all laughing. On the other side of the table are two of Arluin’s friends, Reed and Varian. The brothers are both near the same age as Arluin, with Varian being slightly older.
As I near the group, Varian shouts out, “Speak of the devil!” The entire table turns. When they see me coming, everyone laughs again. This cannot be good. I put my mix of synthetic nutrients on the table and await the inevitable explanation of why they are laughing at my expense.
“Okay, I give up. What’s everyone laughing at?” I ask
“Nothing,” Arluin says with an ear to ear smile. “So, how’s your circulation, Kagen?” The table again bursts into laughter.
“Better, thanks,” I say adjusting my clothes and playing along. My eyes meet with Abira’s, whose hand tries to hide her blushing.
“Well, I gotta get back to my table. See you later, Kagen,” Abira says.
“I’ll walk with you. I haven’t spoken with your mother in a while anyway,” my mother offers.
They both get up to leave. That is going to be trouble for me later. Abira has always been a favorite of my mother’s ever since she and I became friends as children. My mother would always find ways to get the families together. Both of our mothers see us as a natural match, but now is not a good time to be consumed by such matters. While Abira is an attractive woman with a fun sense of humor, there are more urgent events for me to attend to.
“Yeah, we gotta go too,” Varian adds. The brothers make their way back to their family tripping, pushing, and smacking each other the entire way.
For the time being, Arluin and I are left alone at our table. Even though he smiles, I sense his humor shifting. I can only keep his curiosity at bay for so long, but it is too much of a risk to include him in these potentially dangerous events at this point. I start eating my food hoping he will leave things alone for now.
“So, any updates for me, Kagen?” Arluin asks.
So much for leaving things alone, I think to myself. Well, I have to tell him something to satisfy his curiosity before he gets too aggressive. “Yeah, there’s some bad news. I’m officially on Leadership’s watch list.”
“Really? How did you find that out?” he asks.
“My first hint was the visit from Mr. Vaden. Then today Aamon Tiran also came in to speak with me. My restriction from The Caves wasn’t enough for them. They assigned me to the next two cycles of the Solar Panel maintenance duty,” I say, leaning toward him so no one else hears my words. As he understands the severity of the situation, his enthusiasm for pressuring me wanes.
“Well, at least you didn’t get invited to the Detention Center,” he says, looking for a silver lining.
“I got the distinct feeling they’re waiting for a reason to do just that,” I say. “Now do you understand why I’m being secretive about this, Arluin?”
“Yeah, but I still want to know what’s going on,” he says resolutely.
“I’m working on it. I want to make sure everyone knows when the time is right. For now, stay the course,” I say. “What would happen to Mom if both of her sons ended up in the Detention Center?”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. There was something else I wanted to talk to you about. I don’t know if it means anything, but you said to keep an eye out,” Arluin says.
This is interesting. I only told him that to keep him occupied, never expecting him to actually come up with something.
Chapter 11
I lean forward, waiting to hear what Arluin discovered.
“Earlier, during one of the breaks at school, I overheard a conversation from a group of Leadership boys. There were three of them, Warren, Mayner, and Balum. They were talking about volunteering for the Death Detail. I know some of the Leadership members volunteer to serve, but these guys are not like that at all. They only care about themselves,” Arluin says.
“They’re probable just spouting off to each other, acting brave,” I say. “Or maybe
their parents told them it was a good way to gain favor in Leadership.”
“I didn’t think of that. Well, I did consider the spouting off part, but it didn’t seem to fit since they were in such a small group with no one around to show off for except each other. It seems like they would do that with a bigger crowd.” Arluin stares off to the side, like he is replaying the events in his mind.
“Thanks for keeping an eye out, but be careful to make sure you’re not obvious about it. Since I’m going to be on the Solar Panel detail anyway, I’ll look into it and let you know if anything becomes of it. Okay, Arluin?” I ask.
He reluctantly agrees. I can tell Arluin feels better since he contributed something, though the conversation was likely just the rambling bravado of young boys. While many higher officials of Leadership volunteer for the Solar Panel detail to show solidarity with the workers, it is uncommon for the younger ones to do so because of the high risk of a fatal accident on the surface. I do not like thinking about the Solar Panel detail, but at least they will not be able to pick me for service in a future lottery. This assignment will remove my name from the draw list. I push the thoughts out of my mind and concentrate on my food.
Not long after we stop talking, our mother returns. We finish our meal before returning to our quarters for the night. I will wait until tomorrow to tell her about my added punishment. She is in a good mood tonight, and I do not want to spoil it for her. Before we go to bed, I tell them both a fabricated story of how I tripped and fell earlier today. That was the cause of the chemical spill and of my broken rib. I feel a little indignant when they both so readily believe the story. Neither of them thought to question it at all. I am not that accident prone! I think to myself. Well, at least I can settle in for some much needed rest, before being forced into another uncomfortable conversation in the morning.
*
I awaken the next morning, mindlessly completing my routine while half asleep. Now, sitting in front of the television screen waiting for the announcements, the fog of my sleep finally begins to dissipate. The soreness in my chest returns every time I make a sudden movement. This is going to be annoying to deal with. The tone for the morning announcements goes off. Mr. Vaden again appears on the screen.
“Good morning, I am Mr. Vaden. Today I am pleased to announce our food and water levels continue to remain above minimum levels. Energy generation has decreased slightly, but remains sufficient. The air filtration system diagnostic was satisfactory.
“However, not all of the news this morning is good. Upon reviewing the events leading to the untimely death of one of our workers in The Caves, it has come to my attention the group was in an unsecure area well beyond the allotted time on their permit. Infractions like this may have been overlooked in the past, but with such disastrous results, that cannot continue.
“I mentioned before that Leadership intends to enforce these policies. As a result of this tragedy, and with our commitment to prevent further occurrences, the offending permit holder has been disciplined. Kagen Meldon has been restricted from all access to The Caves and will be assigned to two consecutive positions on the Solar Panel maintenance detail team. Let this serve as a reminder to all of us the dangers of disregarding policies put in place specifically to keep everyone safe. That is all for the morning announcements. May you all have a safe and productive day.”
I was planning on breaking the news to my mother during breakfast, so this announcement catches me completely off guard. I turn to plead my case. Her eyes remain fixed on the blank screen.
“When did you plan on telling me about this, Kagen?” she asks, still not looking at me.
“I wanted to tell you last night, but the timing didn’t feel right. I intended to bring it up today at breakfast,” I answer, my head lowered contritely.
“Don’t worry, Mom,” Arluin interrupts. “Kagen may be clumsy when he doesn’t pay attention, but not when he focuses. There’s no way he would let anything bad happen on the surface. Everything will be okay, you’ll see.” His words feel more like hopeful wishes than a confident statement of fact.
“The detail is not my biggest fear,” she says.
I know what she is thinking. The haunted face of my father when he returned to us from the Detention Center flashes in my mind. By the look of my mother and Arluin, the same memory visits their thoughts as well.
“You don’t have to say anything, Mom,” I reassure her. “I’ll do everything possible to make sure we all stay safe.”
“That’s what I meant. It’s the look in your eyes lately. It’s the same look your father had before he died.” Her words trail off.
Arluin and I could go on with more reassurances in an attempt to ease her concern, but we know doing so would be pointless. None of us speaks much through breakfast, and nothing is said when we part ways for work.
*
Rana waits for me in the main corridor of the infirmary. She is not alone. Standing beside her is a young man and woman. They wear Healer uniforms though they both appear younger than the usual age required to be an understudy. I wonder what this is all about. They must be here for some type of instruction. Maybe they are meant to shadow us to make sure they have the stomach for the work.
“Hi Rana, what’s up?” I ask while approaching the group.
“Kagen, this is Kesia,” she says, pointing to the young woman before turning to the man. “And this is Jace.”
Kesia gives a polite bow in my direction. Her eyes follow Rana and me intently, though her feet keep shuffling. Her appearance is not particularly distinctive, except for her age. Behind her attentive gaze is an imperfect complexion flanked by moderately dark and braided hair. After a moment, she notices her own fidgeting and forces a firm posture to conceal her nervousness.
Jace nods his head and stands silently. Even with a spindly and awkward build not yet been filled by age, he appears much more confident than Kesia. Both of them lack the distinctive insignia of Leadership on their uniforms, but I get the feeling Kesia comes from it.
“I am pleased to meet you both,” I say, nodding my head in their general direction before turning to Rana. “To what do we owe the pleasure of their visit?”
“We have both been assigned understudies.” Rana’s voice sounds even, but if you have known her long enough, the slight infliction in her words give away her apprehension. “Jace will be working with me and Kesia will work under you. After a few months they’ll switch positions.”
“I see. Well, we should get started orienting you then, Kesia. Go to the exam room and look around a bit, I’ll be in shortly so we can get started,” I say, still looking at Rana. Jace is smart enough to take the hint. He goes to Rana’s exam room, leaving us alone to talk. “Not that we couldn’t use the extra help, but doesn’t this strike you as odd?” I ask. “Neither of them looks old enough to be an understudy. And there was no advanced notice?”
“I do find it rather curious,” Rana says. “I’ve already confirmed their positions with Leadership though. You’re correct about their age. They’re both two years younger than usual, but then again, you’re also younger than a typical mentor. I find it even more interesting that even though Leadership is so unhappy with you, they trust you enough to be a mentor.”
That point had not even crossed my mind. I cannot help but to wonder if part of their motivation is to limit my time alone as much as possible. What trouble can I get into with Leadership if most of my time is spent with an understudy?
“Are you ready to be a mentor, Kagen?” Rana asks.
“I learned from the best, Rana.” I flash a smile. “Besides, if I need any tips I know where to get help.”
I excuse myself and head toward my exam room. On the way, I think of what it was like to go through all the rigorous courses leading to my first day as an understudy. Becoming a Healer was not initially my choice. Through aptitude testing by Leadership, I was found to score high in complex problem solving, multitasking, and performance under stress. These qualitie
s, among other compassionate characteristics led them to assigning me to Healer training. I was unsure of whether it would really suit me until the specific educational courses began. Immediately, I became intrigued by the complexity and harmony of our internal biology.
Even though I excelled in those lessons, I had no idea of what was coming. All the anatomy and physiology lessons do little to prepare you for the actual performance as a Healer. The first time I was allowed to interview a patient, my words to her came out as a stammering mess even though it was a very simple case of an outer ear infection. The complexities of caring for the ill and injured were far beyond me. Managing the expectations, anger, fear and uncertainty experienced by our patients is not something one learns without the benefit of experience.
But as time passed, combined with Rana’s instruction, each day the task ahead of me became less daunting. This gradual progress continued until I felt completely comfortable in my profession. What seemed like an impossibly complex and unmanageable task now feels more like a difficult challenge that can always be faced if approached in a thoughtful and systematic manner. My responsibility is to help Kesia make the same transition.
I enter the room to find her working her way through the medical equipment. She appears to be familiar with most of it and looks more to be evaluating her tools than determining their purpose like Mr. Vaden was before.
“So, Kesia, will this be your first time with direct patient care?” I ask.
“Yes, I’ve completed all of my classroom anatomy, pathology, and physiology requirements. I was most of the way through the equipment training when we received the notice of advancement,” she says proudly. Her nervousness lessens, but remains noticeable.
The Death Detail (The Securus Trilogy Book 1) Page 10