by Bella Andre
Sam had offered to deal with the police alone, but although she’d felt so raw and her fears about her sister burning alive in that cabin were still jammed in every pore, every cell, every single breath she took, Dianna had felt that it was best if she spoke directly to the cops.
Not that it had mattered. Sure, the police had taken notes. They’d looked concerned. But they’d also made it perfectly clear that they didn’t have the resources to jump on the case, not with a couple of recent murders in the area taking top priority.
“Why aren’t they going to do more to find her?” she asked Sam. “It feels like they’re hardly taking me seriously.”
To Dianna, it seemed like the cops had been much more concerned about who had set the fire, asking Sam endless questions about how he’d been able to put it out without a water truck and fire gear.
Sitting beside her now, his arm around her shoulders a shock of warmth against her cold limbs, Sam pressed his lips against the top of her head.
“Nothing’s changed from our original plan,” he reminded her. “We’re going to find April.”
She longed to believe him, but she wasn’t sure she could anymore. Her life had turned into a bad dream. A surreal nightmare. She desperately wanted to get the hell out of here and pretend that none of this was happening, that everything was exactly as it had been before she’d come to Colorado.
But she couldn’t do any of those things. Because April was still missing, even after they’d come so close to finding her.
“I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve been up against some pretty nasty wildfires, but I’ve never been in a situation like this before.” He paused, brought her hands to his lips, and pressed a kiss against her knuckles. “I’ve never had you by my side, either. That’s why I know we’re going to find April and bring her home.”
She wanted to listen to his words, rather than all of the voices in her head telling her that they were too late, that she was never going to see April again. But letting herself believe that everything was okay after April’s phone call had been her biggest mistake.
Having hope ripped away had shattered her beyond repair and she felt broken inside.
“How can you have that kind of faith in me?” she whispered. “I’m failing her, Sam.”
“You sure as hell aren’t failing her. You’re pushing yourself to the limits to help her. And trust me, April knows you well enough to know you’re not going to give up. You’re tenacious. And you love her. So even if she can’t escape again, she’s going to hold on and wait for you. She knows you’re coming. She’s always known it.”
Dianna could hardly swallow past the lump in her throat. “I’m just so scared, Sam.” God, she hated tears, hated feeling weak and completely out of control. “I hate that I don’t know what to do next.”
“Of course you’re scared. She’s your sister and you love her. But you’ve got to see that this isn’t much different from fighting to pull April out of the foster system.”
“It is,” she protested.
“Not really. You didn’t know much about the people she was living with back then. But you knew she was unhappy, so you fought and fought and fought and fought for her. You won, Dianna. You won.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head against her hands before looking back into her eyes. “You’re going to win again. And I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”
A flash of lightning crackled overhead and thick drops of rain began to fall.
She was still silently digesting his optimism, his faith that they’d find April despite this crushing blow, when he pulled her to her feet.
“I know you want to stay here in case she comes back, but we don’t have our gear and I’m not going to risk you getting sick in the wind and the rain tonight.” Before she could protest, he added, “And if she can get to a phone again, she’ll know where you are. She’ll call the Farm first.”
She knew he was right, but even as she let him take her over to the dirt bike, she hated leaving the campground without having gotten one step closer to finding April, hated thinking that the person responsible for all of this pain could be standing in the forest watching them right now.
———
As they drove the dirt bike on the trail back to the Farm, Sam’s heart went out to the incredible woman holding him tightly from behind. He thought he’d been through hell with Connor, but not only had he been able to immediately rescue his brother, he’d had the satisfaction of personally wiping out the fire responsible for melting Connor’s skin. Whereas Dianna was moving forward with no clues, only more disasters, more misfortune.
There was none of the exhilaration of their ride in the other direction, none of the laughter. Even the blue skies were now gray, spitting cold rain at them as a final insult.
She shivered against him and all he wanted was to get her out of her wet clothes and settled in a warm, dry spot with some food and water. When they came to the first of the wide tree trunks in the middle of the trail, Sam made a spur-of-the-moment decision to try to carry the bike over the barrier.
Dianna’s teeth were chattering as she got off the bike and Sam didn’t have to think twice about hoisting the bike over to the other side of the trail. She’d easily scrambled over the tree trunks on the way to the campground, but now, between her fatigue and her despair, he knew she needed his help.
The fact that she let him assist her without protest worried him more than anything. He’d do anything to see the spark in her eyes return.
After what seemed like an eternity of grinding through mud and bumping painfully over endless rocks on the trail, then getting off and carrying the bike over to the other side, they pulled in through the Farm’s gates. Sam parked the bike next to an ancient tractor.
Dianna’s lips had a faint blue tinge to them, and he was so worried about her that he bent down, lifted her into his arms, and headed for Peter’s house.
“I can walk on my own,” she protested, but her voice sounded weak, wavery, utterly unlike her.
“I know, sweetheart,” he told her. “Let me take care of you.”
Again, it worried him that she didn’t fight him on it. He needed to get her warm and dry as quickly as possible.
At least she noted, “Our tent is in the other direction.”
“You need a hot shower,” he explained, “and I figure Peter may be the only person here who’s got one.”
A short while later, after pretty much running across the meadow with Dianna in his arms, Sam pounded on Peter’s door. The Farm’s owner immediately ushered them inside the blessedly warm space looking concerned when he counted only two of them.
“You didn’t find April.”
“I’ll explain everything soon enough,” Sam said, cutting off any further discussion. “Right now, I need to get Dianna into some warm water.”
Peter nodded. “Follow me.”
Sam was surprised when Peter took them out a back door, down a short gravel walkway, and into a surprisingly nice little guest house, complete with a kitchen, bathroom, and fireplace in the living room.
“I’ll have your bags, clean dry clothes, and food put out for you on the covered deck,” Peter said before closing the door.
Tracking mud across the cement floor, Sam headed for the tiled bathroom. Still cradling her tightly against his chest with one arm, he turned on the shower with the other. Quickly, the water went from cold to hot and he carried her under the spray, both of them fully clothed.
The look on her face when she finally stopped shivering was breathtakingly beautiful. Telling himself that his job was done, he gently put her down on her feet.
“Are you feeling better now?”
A part of him hoped that she’d say no, that she’d beg him to stay.
Instead, she nodded, her big green eyes holding his captive.
“Thank you for everything, Sam.”
Even though every cell in his body screamed at him to kiss her, he knew he couldn’t. She’d been through enough al
ready without having him paw at her while her every defense was down.
He forced himself to step away from the water, away from the way her clothes were plastered to her curves, outlining every delicious inch of her body.
“I’m going to grab our things and lay some dry clothes out for you on the bed.”
God, it was going to kill him to stay out of this shower, especially when he knew she was about to peel off her clothes and let the water run over her bare skin. His cock pushed at the back of his zipper, desperate to come out and join the party. He made himself turn away before she saw how much he wanted her.
“Take all the time you need to get warm,” he said, pausing at the doorway for one last look. “I don’t want you getting sick.”
Her cheeks were flushed and he told himself it was simply from the rush of going from cold rain to a warm shower, not that she was having similar thoughts of making love to him. Pulling from a nearly empty well of will, he stepped outside the bathroom and pulled the door shut.
Her sister was still missing, for fuck’s sake. Finding April was the only thing he should have been thinking of.
But he couldn’t erase the sensual image of Dianna standing in the shower, of how easy it would have been to strip off her clothes. In lieu of a cold shower, Sam walked out the front door, past the food and their backpacks, which Peter had already put on the deck.
Icy pellets of rain would have to do the trick.
With trembling fingers, Dianna undid the buttons on her shirt and dropped the soaked fabric to the tiled floor. She tried to take her pants off next, but when they got stuck at her shoes, she sat down and undid her laces.
The warm water flowing over her head, her shoulders, down her back, felt incredible. But not nearly as amazing as Sam’s hands on her skin when he’d held her in the shower. The heat in his eyes had warmed her faster than the water and she’d been seconds from pressing herself against him and begging him to help her forget her worries by making love to her.
Pulling her shoes and muddy socks off, she sat on the tiled shower floor in her underwear and rewound to the moment Sam had run into the burning building at the campgrounds. He hadn’t hesitated for a second, hadn’t been the least bit concerned about his own safety. Instead, he’d been intent on making sure that she was all right, that she wasn’t going to do anything stupid and hurt herself.
It was the first time she’d ever witnessed him in action. She’d never seen anything like it, not even in action films with actors playing the part of daredevil firefighters.
Sam had been a superhero come to life, running through flames, leaping onto the roof and smashing it in.
And he’d done it solely in the hope of saving her sister.
Watching him push through the front door of the cabin, her heart had been in her throat. She’d fought the desperate urge to run in after him, to somehow stop him from sacrificing himself for her.
Her heart squeezed as the unassailable truth smashed into her: She’d never stopped loving Sam. Never. And she would love him forever.
What she wouldn’t give to share her love with him and have it returned.
Carefully standing back up, she unclasped her bra, her breasts feeling ripe and sensitive, as did the vee between her legs when she slipped her panties off. No question, the physical release of making love with Sam would be phenomenal. But that was only partially why she wanted to be with him.
Sam was her last tie to hope. To comfort. And faith.
More than anything, she wanted to be naked and warm in his arms, to pretend for a few precious moments that everything was all right.
Finding a bar of soap, she lathered up her hair and skin, realizing as the water washed the remaining dirt away how wonderful it was to be clean again. A simple pleasure, but a pleasure nonetheless.
Knowing Sam should have a turn in the shower before she used up all of the hot water, she switched off the tap and wrapped herself in a large brown towel. Everything on the Farm was surprisingly clean and she acknowledged that she’d been too hasty in condemning the commune in her conversation with April without coming to see it first. No wonder her sister had stormed out of the café.
Moving into the small bedroom, Dianna found dry clothes laid out on the bed. She quickly toweled off and got dressed, then went into the main room, where an array of food was laid out on a small table.
Obviously, Sam had brought everything inside, but where was he?
She was making her way to the front door when he opened it and walked back inside. Also in dry clothes, he looked surprisingly clean.
“Did you use Peter’s shower?”
He ran one hand through his dark, still-wet hair, looking disconcertingly stern before one side of his mouth finally quirked up.
“Rain has its uses.”
“You showered outside?” she asked, shivering just thinking about it.
When he nodded, she envisioned Sam standing naked in the rain and immediately heated up. He held his hands out, and she was so wrapped up in her fantasy of catching him bathing in the rain that it took her a little while to realize he was holding something warm and delicious.
“Peter just came by with this fresh-baked bread and I filled him in on everything.”
She immediately sobered as the day’s horror came back to her. Sitting down hard on one of the dining chairs by the door, her fear for April settled into the pit of her stomach like a rock.
“I don’t know if I can eat anything.”
Ignoring her, Sam put the bread down with the rest of the food, got a couple of plates and utensils from the small kitchenette, and began portioning out the food. Despite her heavy mood, her stomach rumbled.
Suddenly ravenous, she reached for a slice of bread just as Sam was handing it to her and their fingers collided. She shivered again at the touch of his skin.
His brows furrowed with renewed concern. “Cold?”
“No,” she replied. Just the opposite. Despite everything, she was burning up with desire. “Just starved.”
They ate in silence for several minutes until Sam said, “I’m glad you’re eating after all. It’s been a pretty rough couple of days. You need the energy.”
“We both do,” she agreed. “Going after April had been so much harder than I thought it would be. And, honestly, I thought it was going to be pretty damn hard.”
He put down his glass and gave her a stern look. “That’s why tonight is all about getting some rest.”
Immediately going on the defensive, she said, “I’m not tired, Sam, and I want to get back out there looking for her.”
But all he did was shake his head, just as she’d known he would.
“I checked with Peter. This storm isn’t going to let up until morning. The sun’s already on its way down and we’re not going to make any headway in this rain. If anything, I’m afraid you’ll get sick, and then we’ll really be in trouble.”
She pushed back from the table, feeling restless, hating knowing they were stuck for another night.
Also standing up, Sam said, “I know it’s early, but I want you to go to bed, Dianna.”
There was only one bed in the small house. “Where are you going to sleep?”
She held her breath as she waited for his answer.
He jerked his head toward the door. “I’ve got the tent set up on the front deck. I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.”
The rational part of her brain knew he was making sense. But logic wasn’t enough anymore.
“Stay with me tonight, Sam.”
His expression reminded her of the granite rocks in the river. He was trying to protect her, he’d always tried to protect her, but right now she needed him to give in, even if he thought she was making a mistake.
Moving closer, she put her hand on his arm. “I won’t be able to sleep unless you’re holding me. I need you, Sam. Please.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
SAM’S NEED for Dianna was as close to an unstoppable force as he’d ever w
ithstood. But it had been a hard day, and although she thought sex was what she wanted, he had to accept that it was just stress talking.
On top of everything else she was dealing with, he didn’t want her to have to regret making love to him, too.
But how could he force his foot down on the brakes when he was mesmerized by her voice, by her beautifully expressive face, by the longing in her eyes as she moved closer?
“At first,” she said softly, “when we were in the shower together, all I wanted was to try to forget. But now, all I want is to keep believing. For so long, I didn’t believe that we were possible. I didn’t have faith that you and I could ever find each other again.” She reached a hand up to his face and ran her thumb across his lips. “But now I know that if you and I can forgive each other and make a new start, then anything is possible. Even finding April.”
He threaded his fingers through her hair and then they were kissing, their tongues dancing together. Rekindled memories of the way they’d been collided with the sensation that he was loving her for the very first time.
Unable to go slow when he’d been wanting her for so damn long, he nipped and sucked at her sweet mouth, the sensitive bow at the center of her upper lip, the seductive plump flesh of the lower one.
Moving his hands down her back, to the curve of her hips, he pulled her closer, his raging hard-on throbbing and pulsing against her belly.
“It’s been too long,” he confessed against her lips. “I don’t know if I can go slow.”
He felt her smile again, heard her say, “I don’t want slow. I just want you.”
It was all the encouragement he needed to let the animal inside loose. Seconds later he was ripping off her shirt, yanking down her pants, while she mirrored his movements with her hands on his clothes. And then he was naked and her skin was bare beneath his fingers and he lost any last shred of gentleness, of patience.