She’d enjoyed the kiss. When he’d been terrified of the darkness and violence driving him, she’d confronted that part of him, unafraid. She’d accepted it, taken it, and now she shared his bath, beautifully naked, a delicate flush coloring her cheeks.
Color had returned to his vision. The significance of that detail drew a grunt from him. She’d calmed him, evidence of her power to tame that side of him. Her strength and incredible Gift shook him to the core.
And he wanted more. Seeing her hesitate after undressing, and knowing the courage her bold move demanded from her, the hunger to see what she planned for them prompted him to invite her to join him in the bath. Just this once, he wanted to explore what was between them and damn the consequences.
Kymora lowered herself into the water. While it covered her shoulders, he caught tantalizing glimpses of her body through the floating curtain of her long hair. The curve of a pale breast, the hardened tip of a nipple, the shadowed dip of her waist, the lean length of a leg. The show heightened the tension thrumming through his body.
It rode him hard. Even now he could feel her hands on his waist, burning their shape into his skin, and the softness of her body where she’d pressed against him. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her to touch him again. Instead, he lay back against the side and gripped the cool tiles along the edge to stop himself from going to her.
The next move would be hers.
“Varian, is there soap-sand?” Kymora’s lilting voice caressed his senses.
“To your left, in a small rectangular box.”
She felt along the edge of the pool until she found the cleanser and a cloth next to it. Using the tiles of the bath as a guide, she worked her way around it toward him. When her hand brushed against his, she stopped.
“It’s not easy deciphering strong emotions,” she murmured. Removing the lid of the soap-sand container, she dipped her fingers in and sprinkled some on the wet cloth. “Yours are so intense it’s like a blinding light shone directly in my eyes.”
Linking fingers with him, she smoothed the cloth along his forearm. He tensed. What was she doing?
Kymora paused, head tilting to one side. “Skin-to-skin contact offers a clearer impression, but there’s still only so much I can interpret through touch. I thought after that kiss…” She hesitated. “Every muscle in your arm just tightened, but I’m having trouble reading you…. Don’t you like what I’m doing?”
Oh, he liked it. What he wasn’t sure about was being the focus of her scrutiny. Not now. Not when he didn’t fully understand the unusual changes in his behavior or what was happening between them. She claimed his emotions were so extreme she had no idea what he was feeling yet had managed to read him pretty well.
Kymora sighed softly and released his hand. “Not being able to use my Gift leaves me feeling helpless, like I’ve gone blind all over again. When that happens, I try to take control of the situation.” She issued a strangled laugh. “It seems when it comes to you, I have very poor judgment, Varian. I don’t mean to keep provoking you or make you feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”
She backed away from him then, the strained expression on her face becoming more drawn. Kymora was demanding, too, like him in some ways, but she gave so much more, her soul generous in ways he knew he’d never match.
“Wait.” His tone was rough, and he hated how she flinched.
He probably should have expected the reaction, considering all he’d done so far was growl and snap at her. He didn’t want to reveal anything more about himself to her. He hated the vulnerability that came with it. Yet despite that, he found himself powerless to deny her.
When that had happened, he wasn’t entirely certain. Perhaps during the time in the clearing, after he’d killed Rystin. Something had changed between them then, something irrevocable. He ran a hand through his hair.
“You haven’t made an error in judgment.” Varian grimaced at the way his voice closed up on him, and swallowed hard. Kymora deserved more than silence or halfhearted attempts to explain what he was feeling, but the words he wanted to say lodged like shards of glass inside his throat. “Having someone care about you… the way you care about me, is humbling, Kymora. You worry about what I feel. It matters to you and I guess that’s something I’m just not used to….” He took a deeper breath. “When I kissed you, all I could think about was wanting more.”
He shuddered, the rawness of the memory abrading already sensitive nerves. He could still taste the sweetness of her lips. Just remembering it made him hard now. He shoved the memory aside and forced himself to face the more grievous issue.
“Do you know how close I came to just taking what I wanted?”
“But you didn’t.”
Three simple words. Compelling. Guilt relieving. How did she do that? Varian shook his head.
A small smile curved Kymora’s lips as she started back in his direction. “So, assuming you liked kissing me, can I also presume you liked me washing you?”
The thought of her touching him again didn’t bear thinking about.
“Kymora…”
“What?” Her fingers laced with his again, ignoring his warning growl. Heat shot up his arm. “You think you’re the only one worried about losing control? Blessed Mother, Varian, join the Guild! That kiss almost killed me.”
The cloth scrubbed along his arm with more force, but he barely noticed. Her admission about his kiss had him riveted. She’d really liked it? The flush on her cheeks deepened, as if she was still thinking about it.
“Do you know how hard it was to focus on our conversation after that? You’re not the only one who wanted more.” She poked his shoulder. “Whatever happens between us, I’m sure we’ll cope with it.” Her temper hadn’t yet reached full steam, but damned if he didn’t like to see her riled. “Right now, I want you to lay back and enjoy this.”
The order, reinforced by another rough swipe, this time along his chest, made his lips twitch. The swing in mood eased the last of the tension inside of him.
Pure sensation and vulnerability. She gave him both. Gifts he never thought to experience with any woman.
Varian caught her wrist on the next pass and pulled her closer to him. She landed against his chest with a surprised grunt.
“Use your bare hand,” he suggested. “It’ll feel better.”
For him or for her? Kymora nearly asked the question, surprise almost startling it out of her. Was he really inviting her to touch him? She released the cloth. It hit the water with a soft plop, then she laid her hand flat on his chest. The heat coming from his skin wasn’t all generated by the water or steam.
“This is the first real chance I’ve had to see you,” she murmured, her throat tightening. Who had he let touch him before now? Very few people, if any.
Leaving her hand resting on his chest, she tried to sort through the numerous emotions flicking through his aura. The lightness was still there, although it felt slightly forced, as if Varian were fighting to hold on to it. There was a tinge of apprehension mixed with confusion, but the emotion growing stronger by the second was desire. She didn’t want to rush their time together, so she focused on something a little less intense.
“Would you mind wetting your head? I want to wash your hair.”
As Varian ducked beneath the surface of the water, she scooped up a generous handful of soap-sand. He ended up with his back to her, kneeling, resting back on his heels so she could reach. It made combing and rubbing the suds through his hair easier.
“You have three braids on one temple and two on the other.” They were longer than the rest of his hair. Small wooden beads tied off each at the end. “This bead’s round. The one next to it is elongated.”
“They each represent an event in my life.” Varian’s stilted tone indicated reluctance, but he kept talking. “The round one signifies the first time I trapped and slew a wild Vorc.”
Kymora fingered a small ribbed one. “And the others?”
“The longer bead
signifies the first Na’Reish warrior I killed.”
“The one who followed Hesia to your camp?”
“Yes. She made it for me. I also asked her to make the triangular one. That’s her bead, to honor everything she’s done for me in my life. The fourth one indicates I’m a scout.” The last braid had several small beads threaded through it. Varian’s fingers covered hers as she felt them. “Lisella made these for me when I became leader of the Na’Chi. They’re all the same shape, but each are the colors of the forest.”
“They’re like a journal of your life.” She rinsed his hair, then lathered up more soap-sand.
Starting at his neck, she ran slick hands over his broad shoulders, moving slowly, following the line of muscles. They weren’t thick, not like some warriors, but they were hard, toned by years of outdoor living. Spreading her fingers, she kneaded them and worked her way down his back. The raised trail of natural body markings guided her down his shoulder blades, over his rib cage, to the top of his hips. Every so often she came across a hard, uneven edge of flesh, perhaps a scar, although she refrained from asking him about them.
“What color are your markings?” She lingered over the larger ones decorating the flesh on either side of his waist. The muscles beneath her fingertips twitched.
“Brown.” It was only one word, but Varian’s voice was both deep and hoarse.
Kymora blinked. Had her touch aroused him so quickly? The idea made her smile. “Dark like the bark of a needle-tree or light like the spots on a lira-pelt?”
“Both. Those on my face and going down my back are dark. The ones on the back of my legs are lighter.”
She splashed water over his skin, cleaning the suds from it, then found the markings on his shoulders. “These ones are larger, not as closely grouped together.” She pressed a kiss to the first she found and used her tongue to trace the uneven edge. His skin tasted of heat and citrus. His shoulder jerked. “You know, I’d like to do this to every one of them.”
Varian’s body went tight, much like his voice. “Kymora…” A protest, but one with very little heat.
“If you don’t like something I’m doing, Varian, you’ll have to tell me.”
Moving onto her knees behind him, Kymora curled her arms around his ribs to reach his chest. She brought herself flush up against him and stifled a moan. His back felt like hot steel against the softness of her breasts and belly. The water lapping against them teased her senses.
Her cheek brushed the cool lobe of his ear. “I’m not exactly paying attention to your aura.” All her attention was on the physical plane. She stroked his chest, discovering more solid lines and curves. More heat. More hardness. Inhaling, she savored his scent and the tangy steam. “What I’m touching is distracting me. A lot.”
She dipped her hand in the soap-sand box and spread the granules over his chest. The foam tingled against her skin. Every contour, every texture, every inch of skin impressed itself into a tactile map inside her brain. As her fingertips skimmed over the flat disc of his male nipple, it hardened. The flesh around it raised and prickled into goose bumps.
Varian’s breath hitched. The sound wound its way inside her where it found the heat banked since their kiss and fanned it. “I have no objection to what you’re doing.” That came from between gritted teeth.
“Good.” She rested her chin on his shoulder and let him feel her smile against his skin. “Because your pleasure is mine.”
And it was. Any reserve she felt about being so bold was absent. The more he responded to what she was doing to him, the more incentive she felt to discover what excited him. She was entirely focused on him, his body, his enjoyment.
She remained still, letting him think about her last words a few moments longer before gliding her hand lower, over his ridged abdomen. The rasp of his breath elevated; his stomach sucked in at her touch. His desire flared, strong enough that she felt it through her shields. Her heart lurched in response.
“Too fast?” She hesitated, her fingers resting above his navel.
His ribs expanded. “Unexpected.”
“I want to go farther”—her voice dropped to a husky whisper—“and curl my hand around you… touch you….”
“Lady’s Breath, Kymora.” Varian shifted in her hold, his curse a grated growl. He gripped her wrists, his long fingers wrapping around them firmly but not tight enough to hurt, as if he was going to stop her. The strength in him vibrated along the length of her arms. Against her cheek, his throat worked as he swallowed. “I have very little control left….”
Fear darkened his aura like a stain. Even without sensing the emotion, she knew he still worried about exposing her to his other half, the part of him he believed to be the darker, evil half. Her heart ached.
“Trust me.” She pressed a kiss to the soft skin of his neck. “Let me do this… for both of us….”
He might outmatch her physically, but she hoped he wouldn’t refuse her. She wanted him to believe in what she’d told him earlier. That she wanted him—all of him—not just what he wanted the world to see.
Kymora held her breath. Would he trust her enough to see to his pleasure?
Chapter 26
KYMORA’S lilting plea wrapped around Varian and tugged hard, yet he kept his grip firmly around her wrists, needing time to think. It was difficult when every nerve in his body was centered on where her hand lay, just over his navel, her fingers stretched wide. Heat coiled in his lower belly and drew into a tight knot until all he could feel was his blood pounding there. Throbbing. Aching.
Needing.
He wanted to continue but balked at the risk to her.
“Varian, please”—the husky softness of her voice seemed to beg and caress his senses at the same time—“just this once, and if you don’t like it, then I won’t touch you again.”
She would keep her promise, of that he had no doubt. Slowly, he released her wrists and gave a jerky nod, unable to voice his consent. His need outweighed his fear. This time.
“Thank you,” she whispered and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his jaw.
His breath left him in a hiss as her hand slid the remaining distance and closed around his erection. She held him gently, but her touch burned. In less than a second, he went from hard to harder and breathless.
“I don’t know how you like to be touched….” Her voice wavered. “Would you show me what you like?”
Hunger sizzled through him, from head to toe. Groaning, he let his head fall back onto her shoulder but wrapped his hand around hers.
“Tighter, like this.” The words were guttural. “Slow to begin with…”
The residual soap on her hand made the first smooth stroke feel like a lick of fire. He shuddered.
“Again…” He groaned as her fingers played over him. “Harder this time…”
He thrust forward as he drew her hand back along his length. The friction seared him again.
“Oh…” Her gasp sounded in his ear. “… Blessed Mother…”
Varian didn’t have the breath to agree with her. A few more strokes and he let her go. The tight points of her nipples poked into him, an erotic caress that left him dizzy and a little light-headed. Having her pressed against his back, moving with him, feeling what he did, added an intimate element that made the whole situation more intense.
Reaching back with his hands to grip the outside of her thighs, he knew he’d need something to hold on to as she continued to work him, discovering what made his breath catch and what wrenched a groan from deep within. And she succeeded in accomplishing both. More than once.
The light sweat covering her skin smelled of honey and spice. The slap and surging of water against his skin. Her uneven breathing, hot against the damp skin of his neck. Her arousal fed his, an invisible hand that stoked the fire beginning to blaze out of control.
His gaze flooded with crimson so rapidly it left him reeling; the darkness within rose fierce and fast, taking advantage of his weakness.
“Mer
ciful Mother, no!” His breath labored hard as he struggled to hold it back, but the fire sweeping through him had him completely at its mercy. He couldn’t find the restraint he needed. Panic slashed through his gut.
“I’m here, Varian.” Kymora’s arms tightened around him. “Mother, your aura… your pleasure burns me”—her breath caught on a ragged moan—“inside and out.”
He focused on her voice, bucking against her hand.
“So hot, like a branding iron against my skin…”
The friction, the rhythm, the sensory intensity; everything in him grew tight, imploding fast. The molten sensation she was coaxing from him now was more powerful than anything he’d ever experienced before.
“Help me feel it, Varian. Let go.”
As if her words were a command, the heat exploded. He stiffened in shock. A hoarse cry came from his throat. His hips lifted, his body arched. Exquisite pleasure surged, searing every nerve ending as it released. Each wave increased twofold and ripped through him, leaving him writhing. Heart, mind, and soul.
How long he rode the shockwaves, he had no idea, but when he regained some sense of his surroundings, everything around him had reclaimed its rightful color even though it was hazy and blurred. He had to blink to bring it back into focus.
Kymora still held him close, her arms locked around his body, one hand splayed over his hammering heart, her cheek pressed to his back. His lungs worked like a set of bellows. Water splashed against the sides of the pool, a soft accompaniment to the pounding of his heart in his chest.
“Mother of Light, that was… I felt you peak.” She kissed his shoulder, sounding as shaken as he was. Reverent. Awed by the moment. “There are no words to describe it…. It was like I was inside you, Varian… so amazing. Just… incredible.”
Her voice centered him, as it had at the moment he’d feared losing control. He had, but not in the way he’d expected. Everything inside him felt shattered, weak, but deep inside there resided a stillness he’d never felt before.
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