by Ally Blake
The last thing she wanted was to tell him what had really happened with William. But after his own revelation at dinner, she felt compelled to be honest with him. Maybe if she gave him just a bit of the truth, it would be enough to stop his questions. She had to talk about it sometime. Maybe then it would get easier.
“It was for me, for when I had a baby,” she said, determined to keep her voice even. She didn’t want to see the same pity on his face that she’d seen today at the hospital, facing her old coworkers again. The last thing she wanted from Wyatt was his pity. “I stored it at my mom’s, that’s all. You know mothers. You mention the word grandchild …”
He slid a flat board out of the box and put it to the side. “Wasn’t that jumping the gun a little bit?” He said it easily, even teasing, but Elli was finding it hard to keep up the pretense. The logic of her decision to skim the surface made perfect sense, but she wasn’t quite as successful at stifling the emotions that came into play. When she didn’t answer, Wyatt looked up. His smile faded and those damnably dark eyes searched hers yet again.
“I’ve said something wrong.”
He got up off the floor and went to her, not touching her, but she could see the wall of his chest and she blinked. She would not cry. Not again. She’d cried enough, and she’d done so well today. At some point she had to talk about it without falling apart. Wyatt didn’t come with any preconceived notions about her, or her marriage to Tim. And once she left the Camerons’ house, their paths would likely never cross again.
“It’s all right,” she said quietly. “You couldn’t have known.”
“What happened?”
“I was pregnant but …” She didn’t want to go into too much detail. Concern was one thing, and it was already written all over his face. Full disclosure would bring the pity and sympathy. She’d decided to tell him, so why was it so difficult to say the words? “But I lost the baby,” she finished on a whisper, unwilling to elaborate further. “All the things we’d bought we put at my mother’s, thinking they’d still be there later.”
“But there was no later,” he guessed.
She kept staring at the buttons of his shirt, noticing oddly that their color matched the fabric precisely. “No, there wasn’t,” she answered softly. “Our marriage ended.”
And so did the dream, she thought, but the idea wasn’t as sad as it might have been. Tim had married her for the wrong reasons. He’d wanted a good wife, a home in a prestigious neighborhood and the picture-perfect family to go with it. In that, they’d been alike. She’d fancied herself in love with him when she’d been in love with her own dreams instead. It wasn’t a mistake she planned to make again. She was stronger now. If she ever married again, it would be for nothing less than the real thing.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and while Darcy stared intently at a blue elephant on the play mat, Wyatt took Elli into his arms.
It felt so good to be held there, nearly as good as his kiss had felt earlier. His chest was warm and solid, his arms gentle around her. It had been so long since she’d allowed herself to lean on anyone at all that she sighed, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault,” she murmured, knowing she should pull away but not quite ready to give him up so soon. She hoped that would be the end to the questions. He could go on thinking she’d had a miscarriage and that would be it. He didn’t need to know how close to her due date she’d been, so close she could taste the sweetness of motherhood, only to have it ripped cruelly away.
His wide palm stroked her hair and a shiver went down her spine, a feeling of pure pleasure. A gurgle sounded from the mat as Darcy discovered a new texture.
“The last two days and you didn’t say anything. I saw your expression a few times as you tended to Darcy and knew there was something, but …” He pushed her away from him so he could look into her face. Not pity there, then. No, it was pure compassion, and she felt her determination to keep him at arm’s length slip another notch. “If I had known … how callous of me,” he finished, squeezing her hands.
“I could have said no.” She smiled a little, squeezing back. “You and Darcy needed help. You couldn’t have known.”
Darcy grew tired of being ignored, and squawked. Wyatt let go of Elli’s hands and went to the baby, picked her up in his wide hands and rested her in the crook of his arm.
“Yesterday I was terrified to touch her, and already she seems to settle when I hold her.”
“You’re a natural.” Elli smiled, glad to leave the topic behind. She reached up to adjust Darcy’s shirt.
“Hardly. But I want to do right by her. And if this is too much for you, I understand. I wouldn’t have asked if I’d known how it would hurt you.” Darcy’s chubby hand grabbed at his lower lip. He removed her fingers gently and kissed them.
Elli was sure he hadn’t consciously done it, but there was a tenderness to Wyatt that was utterly unexpected. It was in the way he’d put his arms around her, the way he held Darcy in his arms and vowed to fiercely protect her. She hardly knew him, but in some ways she already understood him better than she’d ever understood Tim. Tim had spoken to her as a doctor would, using technical terms and medical explanations. Wyatt didn’t. He simply offered a genuine “sorry” and a hug.
“No, it’s good for me. I should have stopped hiding away ages ago. I’ve put off moving on, and caring for Darcy is helping with that. It hurts, but you’re not the only one benefiting from this arrangement.”
“As long as you’re sure …”
“I’m positive.”
The atmosphere in the room seemed to lighten. “Okay, then, can you take her while I put this thing together?” Wyatt smiled, pushing the serious topics to the side and moving back to the present problem, and Elli was grateful. They’d learned something new about each other today and they were still standing. Her initial impression of him, the one where she’d labeled him a complete grump, wasn’t bearing out. They were—to her surprise—becoming friends.
“Sure. She’s due for a bottle anyway.” Elli took Darcy in her arms, realizing she was getting used to her weight there, and liking it. As Wyatt organized hardware and parts, she went to the kitchen and heated a bottle, then came back to the living room, settling in the corner of the sofa. Darcy’s warm weight relaxed in the crook of her elbow as she took the bottle, the blue eyes staring up at Elli with what felt like trust.
She sat quietly while Wyatt put together the change table. The silence was pleasant. Wyatt might think his home wasn’t good enough, but it held something that many homes with better furniture and fresher paint didn’t. It held comfort. A gurgling sound from the milk being pulled through the nipple made Elli smile.
How could it be that she felt more at home here than she had at her own condo with Tim? The thought disturbed her. How could she have been so wrong? How could she have fooled herself so well? Why had she settled when she’d really wanted something so much simpler?
“What do you think?”
Wyatt’s voice pulled her out of her musings and she realized that he was standing proudly next to the change table. The maple-colored wood gleamed in the lamplight and a quilted pad fit on the top. No more changing Darcy on a sofa cushion or bed or whatever happened to be near. She had a place to sleep and now a table where they could organize her diapers and supplies. Darcy was settling in. And so was Elli. She wasn’t yet sure if it was a good thing or not.
It felt right, which scared the daylights out of her. It would be fine as long as she kept up her guard. Then she’d find a new job, and an apartment somewhere. An apartment that she knew now would be more like Wyatt’s home. Set up for comfort, not for style.
Darcy had fallen asleep and Elli put her down on the sofa. “It looks great,” she said, going over to the table and running her fingers over the polished wood. “Where should we put it?”
Wyatt shifted his weight, suddenly awkward. “I suppose wherever she sleeps. The second bedroom still needs
to be cleaned, and probably painted. I tried to get the rooms I needed livable first.”
“And it doesn’t feel right putting her in here.”
“Well …”
“I still feel funny taking your room, Wyatt. I can sleep on the couch.”
“No, I wouldn’t feel right. You take the bed. I’m up at six for chores and I’d wake you.”
“Then I can keep Darcy in with me.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Isn’t that why you wanted my help? So you can look after your livestock and I can look after Darcy?”
“Yes, but I …”
“Feel guilty.”
A small smile played on his lips. “Something like that.”
“I can take care of myself, Wyatt.”
“Will you let me know if you need anything, then?”
“Do you always try to take care of everyone?”
His gaze slid back to hers and she remembered the way he’d drawn her into his arms, the way his lips had felt against hers. She was determined to make her own way this time, but there was something alluring about the thought of being looked after by Wyatt Black.
“Is that a fault?”
She couldn’t help but smile, her heart tripping along a little faster than normal. “That’s the standard ‘answer a question with a question’ technique. But I’ll let you off the hook this time. We’ve got more important things at hand. There’s a small matter of needing baby things,” she said, taking a step away. Being close to Wyatt was becoming a habit and one she had to break. “We’re on our last outfit, and nearly out of diapers. The can of formula I bought isn’t going to last, either. If you start a list, I can run into town in the morning and do some shopping.”
“That would be very helpful, but I don’t want you to feel—”
Elli interrupted, laughing. “Stop it. You asked me to help and what, now you feel guilty about it?”
“You’re teasing me.” He said it with surprise, and Elli felt a frisson of pleasure skitter along her spine. It did wonders for her confidence to know she could put him off his balance.
“Maybe a little. You’re so serious, Wyatt. You need to relax.”
Wyatt fiddled with the screwdriver, finally putting it back in a leather pouch. “I don’t mean to be so serious,” he confessed.
Elli recognized it not only in him but herself lately, as well. Maybe they both needed to lighten up. These little exchanges with him definitely made her feel better.
“You’re concerned about the home visit, right? So let me do this, get the basics covered while you worry about work. A girlie shopping trip is just what Darcy and I need.” She rubbed her hands together.
A quiet pause filled the room. She exhaled and continued in a calm, logical tone. “Isn’t that why you asked me to stay?”
“I know you’re right,” he conceded. “About the necessities, anyway. And if it means I don’t have to shop …” He strode off to the kitchen and Elli followed, stopping when she heard the tinny sound of a coffee can. Wyatt had relaxed for a few minutes, but now his jaw was set again in what she was beginning to recognize was his stubborn look. He took a wad of bills out of the can and started counting it off.
“How much do you think you’ll need?”
Elli gaped. “You keep your money in a coffee can?”
“This is my emergency fund. It’s easier to give you the cash than it is to sort out banking cards or credit cards.” He held out several bills. “Take it and get what you need tomorrow. I don’t dare take another day away from the stock, and you’re right. It will be a huge help.”
She reached out and took the money. “Okay, then.”
He put the lid back on the can and returned it to a low cupboard. Elli frowned. Wyatt resorted to a can? It seemed so … old-fashioned. Just when she thought she was starting to puzzle him out, something else cropped up that made him a mystery. Maybe she should just stop trying.
“Come on,” he said, turning back to face her, the earlier stubbornness erased from his features and replaced with a smile. “Let’s get the two of you settled.”
Elli was following him down the hallway and his heart was beating a mile a minute. He didn’t know what to do about Elli anymore. She was such a puzzle. Wounded and emotional one moment, teasing him the next. He couldn’t forget the expression on her face when she’d told him about the miscarriage. It all made sense now. The odd looks that shadowed her face at times, the way she had first handled Darcy, as if she was afraid. And then … oh, God. The comment he’d made yesterday about all girls wanting babies. What an ass he was. He wanted her help, wanted her to feel at home and her confession made him feel like a heel.
Inside the bedroom he suffered another bout of embarrassment. The room was, at best, plain. A bed and a dresser, nothing on the walls, nothing inviting or cozy as he’d expect a woman’s room to be. He’d never put much thought into decorations or felt the need to clutter things up with objects that held no meaning. He supposed that philosophy made his place look a bit spartan.
“I’m sorry it’s not very fancy,” he apologized, seeing the room through her eyes.
“It’s fine,” Elli replied. “I expect you’ve put your energies into the ranch and not the decor.”
As she put down her overnight bag, Wyatt stripped the white sheets off the bed and tossed them into a plastic hamper along the wall. “That about sums it up,” he agreed. He wondered what she was thinking. He knew how the house appeared. The petty cash he kept in the kitchen probably didn’t help. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have the money to fix things up. He’d just put his priorities elsewhere.
“I’ll get some fresh sheets,” he murmured, going to the hall closet. The couch wasn’t going to be comfortable, but Darcy was his niece, not Elli’s. She had no reason to stay, but she was doing it anyway. She was his guest. And yet the thought of her sleeping in here, in his bed, Darcy in the playpen beside her, did funny things to his insides.
He hadn’t expected an instant family, no matter how temporary. After years of solitude, it was odd to have others sharing his space. In particular Elli, with her shy smiles and soft eyes. She seemed to take everything at face value and didn’t judge because of it. And in a few short days she seemed to be everywhere.
It almost made him want to explain things to her. Things he had never explained to anyone.
He returned with the sheets. Elli had put Darcy in the middle of the bed and he heard her coming behind him, carrying the playpen. She brought it into the room and smiled. “If I put it beside the bed, I can get to her easily when she wakes,” Elli explained. “A flannel sheet underneath her and the blanket should be enough. The nights aren’t too chilly yet.”
She put the sheet on the mattress pad and Wyatt picked up Darcy, placing her gently on the soft surface. She blinked up at him.
Then he looked at Elli and felt his heart turn over. She was looking at the baby with such tenderness it hurt him. Now he knew she’d lost her baby and her marriage and her job. And yet she greeted life with a smile. It was more than he’d managed for many years. He’d spent a long time drifting around, working, making enough money to settle somewhere, never getting too close to anyone. He’d lost his entire family and he’d spent his time nursing his wounds. Perhaps he’d nursed them too much. Buying this place—making it into something profitable—was his way of moving on.
But now it was different. He had a family, even if it wasn’t quite the one he’d expected. And Elli was a part of it whether it made sense or not. He was surprised that he wanted her to be.
He smoothed the sheet over the mattress and pulled up the comforter. “Are you sure you’ll be warm enough?” Elli’s cheeks flushed a little and he was charmed. “There are extra blankets in the hall closet.”
“This will be fine,” she murmured. “You’re going to need the blankets anyway.”
“And a pillow. I hope you don’t mind if I take one.”
“Of course not.” She stared at t
he bed again and the nerves in his stomach started jumping, just as they had in the kitchen before he’d kissed her. The temptation was there. He wondered what it would be like to lie beside her. In his bed. To feel her body close to his, to kiss her in the dark, to hear her whisper his name.
He grabbed the pillow. After everything that had happened today, his libido had to stay out of it. He wanted to ask her what had happened. He wanted to know how her husband could have let her get away, if he’d been there for her or not. By the way she’d melted in his arms, he’d guess not. Not the way she deserved.
“The bathroom is down the hall. I’ll bring the change table in and then say good-night.”
Elli nodded dumbly and the temptation to kiss her reared up again. But he put it off. She was still a little jumpy from earlier, and it felt wrong to press.
When he delivered the change table, Elli was sitting cross-legged on the bed, a book and a small laptop open in front of her. Darcy was there, too, on top of the covers with a ring of plastic keys clutched in her chubby fist. As Elli turned a page in the book, she absently rubbed Darcy’s foot with her free hand.
Wyatt swallowed.
Why did having her here feel so right? Why had he felt like such a miser counting out bills to give her? He wasn’t rich, but he had this place and he could certainly afford to put food on the table and buy the necessities. Maybe it was time he put some effort into the inside, bringing the house up to scratch.
Why couldn’t he get her off his mind?
He put down the table along the far wall and looked at the two of them, so comfortable and so right. Odd that he’d spent so many years roaming around looking for the right opportunity and here it was, dropped into his lap. Darcy’s arrival had thrown a kink into things, but he understood the reason now. It wasn’t about the ranch or cattle or making his mark.
It was about family. And it was about Elli.
His mother, even when things were at their worst, had cautioned him not to be bitter. She had begged him not to judge the world based on his parents’ marriage. He had anyway, for a long time.