by Ally Blake
Elli’s heart slammed against her ribs. A slice of well-muscled chest showed as his shirt gaped open, and she wanted to touch it. She wanted him, but modesty fought to be heard. What would he say when he saw her body? She fought against her insecurities, trying to ignore the hurtful comments in her memory. He hadn’t turned away yet. She had to believe he wouldn’t now.
She swallowed as she knelt on the mattress and pulled her sweater over her head.
Wyatt was there in the breath of a moment, kneeling before her, pulling her forward so her skin was pressed against his. She thrilled to touch it, to feel the heat and strength of it against her. She reached to push his shirt off his shoulders.
And then they both heard it—a knock on the front door.
For a split second they froze, then Wyatt jumped off the bed and went to the window.
“It’s Angela Beck.”
“Oh, my God!”
The seriousness of the situation hit them both and Elli scrambled for her sweater as the knock sounded again. “You’ve got to answer the door!” she whispered loudly. “Go, Wyatt!”
He was already buttoning his shirt. “You’re already dressed.”
“Yes, but look at me!” She tried to keep the panic out of her voice, but didn’t succeed very well. What had they been thinking, getting carried away? “My eyes are blotchy and my hair’s a disaster!”
“All right. Take a moment to collect yourself.” He gave her arm a quick squeeze. “It’ll be fine.”
But the worried look in his eyes belied his reassurances.
This was her fault. He had been clear about keeping things platonic and why. She should have stopped him at the first kiss. He hadn’t put her first, and so she had done it for him. And now what a mess they were in!
Elli scrambled to tuck her hair into a ponytail as she heard Wyatt answer the door. She should have stopped him, but she hadn’t wanted to. If they hadn’t been interrupted, she would have made love with him.
And now, with the faint sound of Angela Beck’s voice coming from the other end of the house, the insanity of it grabbed her. She wasn’t sure how she was going to walk out there and pretend everything was normal, not when she could still feel his body against hers and taste him on her lips.
And beneath it all was a nagging fear. Would he blame her if today’s visit went wrong?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
WHEN ELLI ENTERED the kitchen, Angela Beck was seated at the table with a cup of coffee and Wyatt was calmly slicing through the banana bread. She exhaled slowly, thankful he’d been able to collect himself so quickly, giving her time to regroup. Fixing her hair, a reviving splash of cold water on her face and a good foundation had done its work, she hoped.
“Ellison!” Angela turned in her chair as Elli stepped forward. “I’m glad you’re here. I stopped by to check on Darcy, of course, and give Wyatt an update.”
Elli stole a glance at Wyatt, wondering what he’d offered for an explanation and afraid to respond lest she contradict anything he may have said. “Darcy’s doing well. She really is a good baby.”
“Yes, I saw her sleeping on her mat.”
Darcy at least was a safe topic. “We put her down to play, and she just drifted off.”
Wyatt broke in to the exchange as he put a plate of banana bread on the table. “Did you get your assignment sent, Elli?”
Elli took her cue and hoped to heaven she wasn’t blushing. “Yes, I did, thank you. Only two more to go.”
Wyatt smiled easily at Angela. “Elli is taking accounting courses online.”
The conversation went well for several minutes as they sat and had coffee and sweets and talked about Darcy. Angela’s face turned serious, though, when she began to speak with them about Barbara.
“The good news is, Barbara is making excellent progress. Her doctors are very pleased, as I’m sure you’re aware.”
Wyatt nodded. Elli knew he’d spoken to his sister’s physician a few days earlier and had been encouraged.
“We do want to place Darcy back with her mom as soon as we can. As a mother, she needs to spend time with her baby, to develop that important bond. From our side, we need to ensure that the baby is in a safe, secure and loving environment.”
“What does this all mean?” Elli asked, the banana bread suddenly dry in her mouth. Would this go on longer than planned, or shorter? And which did she want? The idea of staying here with Wyatt, especially after this morning, was heady. But scary, too. They’d nearly been caught, and she knew Wyatt would blame himself if Darcy went into foster care even for a short time simply because he’d fudged the truth about their relationship. The other option was that he’d be even more determined to keep their relationship businesslike, an arrangement that didn’t suit her at all. Then of course, there was the chance that Barbara would be out of hospital quickly and Elli wouldn’t have a reason to stay.
“It means that your situation here is hopefully going to resolve very soon. It also means that Barbara is going to need a lot of support. Because she went to the hospital, she’ll get the help she needs. Her doctor will be monitoring her health, as will child and family services. Really, going for help was the best thing Barbara could have done. She’ll have access to many resources to help her through this, some mandated and some not, including support groups.”
“And family,” Wyatt replied, folding his hands on the table before him. “I’m her brother. I’ll be there, as well.”
Angela smiled. “You haven’t known you were a brother for long, though.”
His smile was grim. “I certainly haven’t acknowledged it. But I am her brother, and I intend to help.” His lips relaxed a little. “Besides, I’ve grown very attached to my niece. I hope to see a lot of Barbara and Darcy.”
“That’s very good news, Wyatt.”
Angela pushed back her chair and stood. “I should be on my way. Thank you for the coffee and cake.”
“Anytime,” Elli responded, relieved that their guest was leaving. She felt as if she was playing a very bad game of charades, and that at any moment Angela Beck would see clear through both of them.
“Any idea how long Barbara will remain in hospital?” Wyatt retrieved her coat and followed her to the door, while Elli hung back at the doorway to the kitchen.
“My understanding is that the doctors are evaluating her every day. While I don’t have a specific time line, I believe it will be soon.” She smiled then, buttoning her coat. “Your life will be back to normal before you know it, Wyatt.” She looked over his shoulder at Elli. “You, too, Ellison.”
Wyatt walked her to her car while Elli went back to the kitchen to tidy the mess. Back to normal? The idea was not as grand as it might have been a week ago. Did she want her life to return to normal? Back to the Camerons’, back to looking for a job and a place to live, back to a world without Wyatt in it?
She knew the answer already. A world without Wyatt was gray, rather than filled with dazzling color. Was it so wrong to hope that today meant something more? As much as she would miss Darcy, didn’t an end to their foster care mean that they wouldn’t have to pretend, too?
Wyatt came back inside, shutting the door quietly behind him. The nerves in Elli’s tummy started twisting and turning, both in anticipation and a little afraid of what to say now that they were alone. The first private words since being seminaked with him on his bed.
“That was close.”
She put down the sugar bowl and went to the arch dividing the living room and kitchen. “I’m sorry.” She felt she needed to offer an apology. She should have thought more and felt less. She had let her need for him cloud her judgment and they’d nearly been caught.
“Don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t have taken advantage.”
Her head whirled. “Advantage?”
Wyatt’s jaw tightened. “You were vulnerable this morning. It wasn’t fair of me to …” He swallowed, as though there were something big in his throat he was trying to get around. “To kiss you.”
&
nbsp; She wanted to say Maybe I wanted you to, but the words wouldn’t come. Because he wasn’t looking conflicted about it at all. If he had gazed at her now with some sort of longing, some sort of indication that restraint came at a cost, she might have pushed. But his back was ramrod straight, his expression closed where earlier it had been transparent. The shrinking feeling in her chest was the dwindling of hope. Hope that he’d feel about her the same way she did about him.
“I can take the chair back out,” he suggested.
“No!” She straightened, took a step forward. “Please don’t. It’s a beautiful chair, Wyatt, and you did a lovely job refinishing it. I’ll be fine now. Really.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. It was so thoughtful of you and it will make things so comfortable. I didn’t realize I’d react so strongly. But it’s over now, right?” Emotional hurt became a physical pain as she lifted her chin. “Don’t give this morning another thought.”
“Only if you’re sure, Elli.”
“I’m sure.”
“All right, then.”
She fought against the shock rippling through her as he ended the topic of conversation. They weren’t even going to talk about what had happened? What had almost happened? Did he regret it that much? The thought made her crumple inside.
He moved to the sofa and retrieved the hat he’d dropped there earlier. “I’ll be out moving the herd to back pasture,” he said, and without another word he left.
Elli woke, an uneasy feeling permeating her consciousness. Moonlight sent faded beams through the window blind of the bedroom, and it was utterly quiet. Too quiet, she realized. Blinking away the grit in her eyes, she slid out of bed and went to the playpen to check on Darcy.
She wasn’t there.
But the bedroom door was half-open and Elli padded over to it. She opened it the rest of the way with only a small creak and tiptoed down the hall. The blanket on the sofa was crumpled in a heap and the pillow held the indentation of Wyatt’s head. In the slight light of the moon, Elli saw them.
Darcy’s hands peeped out from beneath her blanket and her lips were open, completely relaxed with the telltale shine of a dribble of milk trailing from the corner of her mouth to her chin. She lay ensconced in Wyatt’s arms, the latter clad in only a T-shirt and navy boxer shorts. His jeans lay neatly folded across the arm of the sofa. Heat flooded her cheeks at the sight of his bare feet and long legs. His eyes were closed, but she knew he was not quite asleep. One foot flexed slightly, rocking the chair gently back and forth.
He would be such a wonderful father, she thought as she watched them. Not once in this whole ordeal had he ever put Darcy somewhere other than first. She couldn’t think of one single man who would have stepped up in the same circumstances with equal dedication and without resentment. There had been moments at the beginning that they’d fumbled with knowing what to do, but he had taken it on and he’d done it out of not only obligation but love.
He had so much to give. She wondered if he realized it, or if what he’d told her about his past crippled him the way her grief had crippled her.
The toe stopped pushing against the floor and the chair stopped. Wyatt’s eyes opened and met hers across the living room.
Elli struggled to breathe, suddenly feeling as if there wasn’t enough air in the room to fill her lungs. She was drawn back in the flash of a moment to yesterday morning, and what it was like to be held and protected in his arms. They’d been stilted and polite since, but now with her feet bare and wearing nothing but a nightgown, she felt the awareness return, sharper and stronger than before.
In the gray light his eyes appeared darker than ever and her nerve endings seemed to stand on end. The soft curves of the rocking chair and the pink-blanketed baby were in contradiction to the ruggedness of Wyatt’s body. In that moment, with his gaze locked with hers, she understood what people said about men with babies. Strength and frailty, shadow and light, toughness and tenderness. It was a combination Elli was helpless against.
“She woke up,” Wyatt whispered in the dark, setting the chair in slow motion again.
Elli put one foot in front of the other and perched on the edge of the sofa, only inches from where his bare knee moved as the chair came forward. “I didn’t hear her,” she replied, as quietly as she could. Not only because of Darcy, but because she was afraid to break the tentative shell around them.
“You were sound asleep,” Wyatt answered, and she saw the corners of his lips tip up slightly. “You never moved when I went in to get her.”
Elli looked away, staring at her fingers as they rested on her knees. Wyatt had been in the bedroom, watching her sleep? It was intensely personal and she wondered what he’d thought as he’d seen her there in his bed.
She’d been exhausted tonight and had to admit that she’d had the deepest, most restful sleep in months. It didn’t escape her notice that it followed the purging of her grief earlier.
“What time is it?”
“Nearly five.”
Goodness, she’d gone to bed before nine. For the first time in weeks she’d had a solid eight hours of sleep.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get up with her.” Elli noted the empty bottle on the table. She’d slept through it all, including Wyatt heating a bottle.
“I enjoyed it,” he replied, smiling. “It wasn’t long ago I would have thought it crazy to say such a thing. But for someone so small, she sure has a way of making us come around, doesn’t she?”
The way he said us sent another warm curl through Elli’s insides. Right now, in the predawn hours, it could almost be easy to believe that they were a perfect little family. It felt that way—adorable child, tired mother, husband who got up instead with the baby so mom could rest.
But that wasn’t reality. It was a fantasy, a life she’d wanted more than anything before having to trade in her dreams for new ones. They were only playacting. Darcy was not theirs, and Wyatt was not hers.
“Let me put her back to bed,” Elli suggested. “You need your sleep. You can get a couple more hours before breakfast.”
She and Wyatt stood at the same time, and Elli put her arms out for Darcy. But switching her from Wyatt’s embrace to Elli’s was awkward, the more so because they didn’t want to wake her. Wyatt’s arm brushed hers, firm and warm. As he placed Darcy in the crook of Elli’s arm, his fingers brushed over her breast.
Both of them froze.
Elli bit down on her lip, realizing that she was braless and once more aware that she was clad only in a light cotton nightie that ended at her knees. And Wyatt … he was holding himself so stiffly, careful not to touch her in any way. Her teeth worried at the tender flesh of her bottom lip as she tried not to be hurt by that. He was so close she could feel the heat from his body, the soft fabric of his T-shirt. And oh, the scent of him. The faded woodsy notes of his body wash from his earlier shower, mingled with sleep.
What would happen if she moved an inch closer? Two? If she tipped up her head to ask for his kiss? Would he accept the invitation?
Or would he step back, as he had that night on the veranda, and as he had yesterday after Angela Beck’s visit? She wanted to tell him how she felt, but needed some sign from him first, something to encourage her that she was not alone. And since the accidental touch, he was not moving any closer.
So she moved back, adjusting Darcy’s weight. “Good night,” she murmured, too late realizing how silly it sounded, since it was already nearly morning. She turned away and took Darcy to the bedroom, not looking back.
It didn’t matter.
The sight of him there, standing in the dark, was already branded painfully on her brain and heart.
Exactly two weeks after Darcy had been deposited on Wyatt’s veranda she went home to her mother.
Neither Elli nor Wyatt were prepared for the news; despite Angela Beck’s visit they had expected temporary care to last longer as Barbara regained her feet. For Elli it was too soon and yet to
o long as well; she already loved Darcy and felt a bond between them. There was no question that Darcy belonged with Barbara, but it was equally true that Elli had become attached to the blue-eyed angel who had been dropped into her life unceremoniously and was now leaving it under much different circumstances.
She had her goodbye moment with Darcy as she put her down for her morning nap. She kissed the warm temple, her nostrils filled with the scent of baby lotion and sweetness. She was determined not to cry, but wiped below her eyes anyway at the bit of moisture that was there. She had a lot to thank Darcy for—she could feel in her heart that healing strides had been taken. Sadness for William now wasn’t as piercing as before. Somehow between Darcy’s innocence and Wyatt’s gentleness she’d been able to let go of the grief that had stopped her from living.
But goodbyes of any sort hurt, and she knew she had to do it now and get it over with, so that later she could simply pick up her things and leave.
She was folding the freshly laundered sleeper sets she’d bought and laying them in the bottom of the diaper bag when Wyatt came in.
He said nothing, just went to the change table, picked up a soft stuffed bunny and turned it over in his hands. Elli kept folding and packing until there was nothing left to fold.
She looked up at Wyatt, who was watching her with worried eyes.
“Are you okay with this?” She voiced the question that he would not.
“You mean her going back to Barbara?”
Elli nodded.
“I don’t have a choice,” he replied, but Elli knew he was avoiding the real answer.
“I didn’t ask that. I asked how you felt about it.”
It felt good, being direct with him, especially since they’d danced around any type of personal topic since Angela Beck’s visit. Darcy would be leaving today. So would she. There was no more time to leave things for later.
He stopped worrying the bunny and put the toy down on the bed. “We were told it wasn’t going to be long,” he said. “But of course I’m worried. I’m happy Barbara’s done so well and that the doctors think she’s ready. But she has a long road ahead of her, especially as a single mom. It is so much for her to handle.”