by Devyn Quinn
“I’m not saying I haven’t wanted to. It’s just something I haven’t made a practice of.”
Tessa’s mouth drew down. “I’ve done it before.”
His brows rose. That was something he never would have guessed. “Oh?”
She blew out a frustrated huff of breath. “Mers are very sexual. We need a lot.”
Kenneth considered her confession. Though he wouldn’t have asked, he thought it generous of her to volunteer the information. When it came to tallying numbers, he’d always believed discretion to be the better part of valor. Unlike some men he’d worked with, he never kissed and then shared the dirty details.
“I appreciate your honesty.”
She flashed him a skeptical look. “In case you’re wondering, I’ve had a lot of men.”
He shook his head. “I wasn’t wondering. But thanks for telling me I was just another notch in your bedpost.”
“A warm male body with a hard-on always does it for me.” She shrugged. “Sorry. I couldn’t control my hormones.”
His jaw tightened. “So you’re telling me last night meant nothing.”
Her gaze skittered. She wouldn’t look him in the eyes. “I just used you,” she confirmed. “It’s what Mers do. You humans mean nothing to us.”
Kenneth’s stomach did a cartwheel. What the hell was her game? This definitely wasn’t the woman he’d made love to last night. Something had changed. “Glad I could accommodate your need for an orgasm.”
She snorted. “Oh, come on. Get real and grow up. You didn’t go to bed with me. You went to bed with the fantasy mermaid who kissed you crazy under the water.” Her eyes narrowed. “Hard waking up with the real bitch, isn’t it?”
Hearing her words, a light immediately came on in his head. It occurred to him Tessa was afraid he’d wanted her because she was exotic.
A curiosity.
Now that the passion of the night was over, things probably appeared a lot different to her in the bright light of day. She most likely suspected he’d said a lot of persuasive words so he could work his way into her panties.
Something in his gut told him she wasn’t being truthful. It was easier for her to push him away first. She believed she was being a big girl, too smart to put her heart on the line for a single night of sex.
“I don’t believe you’re a bitch, Tessa,” he replied calmly. “I just think you don’t trust men. Is that it? Men don’t play straight, or fair, so why should you?”
By the look on her face, he’d struck a nerve. A very raw and exposed one.
The wall she’d tried to hide behind suddenly collapsed. Her expression grew somber. “When I’m with a human, I always wonder how long it’s going to be before the guy figures out I’m not really so special after all.”
“You are special.” No thinking required there. He truly believed it.
Tessa’s throat worked as she swallowed. By the look on her face, she believed he was feeding her a line of pure bullshit.
“No, not really. I mean, once the exotic Mer thing wears off, I’m just like a human woman. Hormones make me bitchy, my skin breaks out, and I cry when I get depressed.”
A chuckle escaped him. “Is that all?”
She shot him a look. “It’s not funny. I’m trying to be serious, warts and all. Mers aren’t easy to be around.”
His hand curled under her chin. “This may come as a surprise to you, but that’s 99.9 percent of the women alive on the earth today. And as far as I know, it has everything to do with being female and nothing to do with being a mermaid.”
Tessa refused to be mollified by his words. “So you think you could find me tolerable?” She huffed. “Wait till you find out I can’t even fry an egg. If it doesn’t go in a microwave or come out of a tin can, I can’t cook it.”
Her words came out in a rush, as if she were making a confession too dreadful to be spoken aloud.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what she was doing. She was tossing excuses. Stalling. Doing her best to discourage him.
Too bad it wasn’t going to work.
“Believe it or not, most men aren’t worried about that,” he informed her. “I can cook for myself. I’m pretty damn good at doing my own laundry. Hell, I can even handle a needle when pressed.”
The determination to be stubborn continued to shadow her expression. “If you can do all that, why would you possibly want any woman?”
Kenneth answered by tugging the covers off her body. “Nothing can compare to being with and making love to a woman you desire.”
Eyelids fluttering, a soft moan escaped Tessa’s lips. “You almost make me believe you’re serious.”
“If I wasn’t serious, I wouldn’t be here now,” he said. Everything about Tessa appealed to him; from her prickly personality to the sight of her luscious body. He loved the feel of her soft skin and full curves beneath his hands.
A soft laugh escaped her. “I wonder if I should tell you I don’t believe in love at first sight.” Although her eyes glinted with pleasure, he picked up a hint of melancholy behind her words.
Kenneth swept his palm over her rib cage, letting his hand rest on the soft curve of her belly. “If the attraction’s there, I believe anything’s possible.”
Tessa’s sparkling gaze warmed his face. “Damn, you’re good.” Her breath caught. “You’ve definitely got the touch. I bet you could sweet-talk the birds out of the trees.”
Kenneth’s hand inched lower beneath the sheets. A white-hot dart of fire shot through his body, his own need rising by the second. “All the talk in the world won’t be any good if no one’s listening.”
Tessa shivered as his fingers touched her. A rush of air escaped her. “Maybe I could listen a little more.”
Just as things were about to go into round two, the jarring sound of a newcomer’s voice cut through the bedroom. “Oh my God,” came the exclamation filled with delight. “Tessa got laid!”
Losing the intensity behind the moment, Tessa groaned in frustration. Rolling off Kenneth, she scrambled to pull the bedding over their naked bodies. The last thing she wanted to do was give her little sister a nice view of the man she’d just slept with.
Frustration simmering in her chest, she fixed a laser beam stare on Addison. Of course the little twit stood in the doorway, grinning like a monkey. “What the hell do you want?”
Addison put more wattage behind her smile. “Lucky said you hired a new guy, so I came by to see how he was working out.” She eyed the rumpled bed. “Looks to me like he’s got everything under control.”
Tessa glanced at Kenneth, who was doing his best not to look like a man who’d just been caught in bed with his new boss. Mortification scaled his face. The poor guy had literally been caught with his pants not only down, but completely off and lying across the room.
And knowing Addison, she wouldn’t let him get dressed without giving him a good razzing.
“I’m sorry,” Tessa said, trying to come up with a decent apology. “The person who hasn’t learned to respect other people’s privacy is Addison, best known around here as Addled Brain.”
Kenneth cleared his throat. “Nice to meet you, Addison.”
Addison grinned and gave a little toodle- loo wave back. “You deserve hazard pay for taming the witch.” She rolled her eyes. “We were beginning to fear Tessa wouldn’t ever have sex again. Every time a guy comes near her, she bites his head off.”
Feeling her blood pressure rise, Tessa glared harder. Exasperation bubbled like hot oil. “We’d like some privacy, please.”
Enjoying their discomfort, Addison leaned against the doorframe. “Oh, don’t mind little old me. I’ll just hang around while you get dressed.”
Oh, no. That definitely wasn’t going to happen.
Tessa snatched up an old stuffed tiger propped on the headboard. Though one ear was missing and most of its fur had fallen out, it still made a hefty missile. “Get out!” The motley feline whizzed through the air.
Addi
son easily caught the flying animal. “That’s no way to treat Tiggs.”
Tessa gritted her teeth. Her little sister’s cute act was beginning to wear thin. One more second and she’d jump out of bed stark naked and pummel Addison into the floor. “Just get out.”
Tossing the tiger back on the bed, Addison raised her hands in mock defeat. “Okay, okay, I’m going.” She disappeared. A cheery song floated back into the bedroom. “Ding-dong, the witch is dead . . .”
Kenneth raised a brow. “Um, she’s different.”
Tessa shook her head. “She’s an idiot. It’s hard to believe she’s my sister sometimes.”
Slipping out of bed, Kenneth reached for his jeans. Tessa got a nice glimpse of his muscular body as he pulled them up around his slender waist. “Both your sisters look a lot like you. Can’t mistake that red hair.”
Tessa climbed out of bed, reaching for her robe. Just looking at Kenneth caused her pulse to ratchet up another notch. “She’s still an idiot.” She slipped it on. Her fingers shook more than a little, making it difficult to tie a knot around her waist. Her body still hummed with unfulfilled sexual energy.
Kenneth sat down to put on his boots. “Sounds like she’s pretty happy, though.” A laugh rumbled deep in his chest. He sounded more than pleased himself.
Her face heated. She might as well come clean. So far nothing she’d done to deter him seemed to be working. “I was lying when I said I’ve had a lot of one-night stands. The truth is I haven’t had sex in more than three years.”
He shrugged. “No reason to lie about it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you’ve been celibate a while. I’ve been there and done that.”
His statement made her uncomfortable. She tried to dodge around it. “You had a pretty good excuse.”
Kenneth’s eyes momentarily darkened. “Trust me. It wasn’t my choice.”
Tessa pressed her lips into a flat line. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to throw it in your face.”
His gaze cleared. “I can take it,” he said softly. “Now tell me what you’re dealing with. I’ve been straight with you. The least you can do is return the courtesy.”
Tessa stood there, feeling awkward. Say it, she ordered herself. It’s time to spit it out.
Tilting her head back, she blew out a long sigh. Her already erratic pulse skipped another beat. “If you want to know, it’s because my fiancé ran off with a stripper.”
Kenneth winced. “Ouch.”
The thorn went a little deeper. “On the night before our joining ceremony.”
Pulling on a sock, Kenneth pushed his foot into his black leather boot. “And now you think all men are bastards?”
An awkward silence hung between them.
Tessa clutched her robe and swallowed back a wave of queasiness. Even though several years had passed, her heart still had cracks. No, they weren’t quite as deep nowadays, but they were still there. She thought she’d done a good job of putting the pieces back together.
Before Addison had interrupted, she’d been willing to fall for Kenneth’s seduction. He said all the right words. He definitely made all the right moves. But was she going to accept him because she wanted to scratch a physical itch or because she really wanted to start working on a solid relationship?
She didn’t know. And confusion meant indecision. Indecision meant uncertainty. And uncertainty was beginning to lead her down the path of just plain thumbs down.
Tessa swallowed, unnerved by the quiet. Trepidation washed over her. Attempting to explain everything would be pointless. There was so much more to the story than she was willing to divulge.
“It’s not just that. Not only do I have the whole fucking human-versus-Mer thing going on, there are other things I’m dealing with that aren’t going away anytime soon.” She raised her hands, palms out. “You have to understand where I’m coming from. Right now it’s just easier to keep my distance.”
Shifting his lean frame, Kenneth slipped on his other boot. “You weren’t feeling very distant ten minutes ago.”
Arms dropping, her hands curled into fists. “It’s obvious we both have desires. But we also have too many issues that go along with those needs. I think I—we—made a mistake rushing into sex.”
Pushing out of the chair, Kenneth closed the brief distance between them. He was still bare-chested. The rest of his clothing was downstairs.
One hand settled on her hip. His fingers worked into the belt loop of her robe, tugging her body toward his. His touch jolted like the current through a hot-wire fence. “What happened last night didn’t feel like a mistake.”
Tessa gasped in surprise as warmth flooded her veins. The solid length of his body pressed against hers, feeling oh so right.
A twinge twisted her gut. The hours since his arrival had felt like a dream. He was a generous and attentive lover, taking care of her needs in every way.
“The sex was good,” she admitted, trying to keep her mind on track. Hard to do when an awesomely hot man stood not an inch away. “It’s what comes after we get out of bed that I’m not ready for.”
Kenneth’s face was only a few short inches from hers. He was so close she could feel the brush of his breath against her lips. “Then let’s just stay in bed.”
Tessa pressed her hands against his chest. His skin was warm, the beat of his heart steady under her palm.
A tremor shook her that had nothing to do with desire, and everything to do with fear. It would be easy to fall fast and hard for this man. Really easy. But she wasn’t ready to put her heart back on the market just yet.
“Would that actually be satisfying?”
Kenneth cocked his head to one side. His gaze probed hers, seeking. “I’m willing to take the time to find out.”
Taking a deep breath, Tessa pulled back, breaking contact. The last thing she wanted to come off as was a needy, clinging woman who’d settle on a man she’d known less than twenty-four hours.
She squared her shoulders. “I might be lonely, but I’m not desperate. I haven’t exactly been sitting around waiting for a guy to rush in and give me an orgasm so I’ll feel like a woman again.”
Kenneth immediately made a time-out sign. Muscles rippled in his shoulders and abdomen. “Put the claws away, babe. I don’t need a new asshole.”
Tessa pressed a palm to her forehead and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she heard herself say. “Everything’s just happening so fast. I’ve slept alone for three years and now there’s a man in my damn bed.” Her jaw clenched, cutting off the rest of what she was going to say. A man I desire.
The feel of his hand claiming her free one jolted. His was a light touch, but the heat from his fingers seeped straight through her skin, hitting her bloodstream with a potent shot of pure electricity.
His voice penetrated her self-imposed darkness. “Then all you have to say is slow down.”
Tessa shivered and opened her eyes. “Is it really that easy?”
Mouth curving in a rueful smile, his head bobbed once. “I didn’t mean to come in like a bulldozer and roll over you. If you need some space, tell me to back off. I can find somewhere else to be.”
The thought made her stomach curl unpleasantly. Her throat tightened painfully. “I’m not saying go away,” she tried to explain. “I’m just not ready to get involved.”
Taut muscle rippled when he shrugged his shoulders. “We were involved the moment we took off our clothes.” His stare held hers. “And I didn’t hear you say no.”
The way his gaze caressed her sent a rush of heat straight to her inner core. Last night she would have sworn his irises were dark brown. With the morning sun lighting the room the shade had lightened out to a breathtaking golden hue.
She pulled her hand away, feeling strangely awkward. He was so damn appealing. And seemed so sincere. Saying no when looking into his eyes was impossible . . .
Shaking her head, Tessa stood her ground. “Maybe I should have.”
“I don’t think you wanted to.”
His statement caught her off guard.
Tilting her head back, Tessa covered her face with both hands and released a long sigh. “I don’t know what I wanted last night. I’m just one neurotic, messed-up Mer.” Hands falling, she made a helpless gesture. “So much for the fantasy, eh?”
Giving her a smile that would melt chocolate, Kenneth swiped a hand over his stubble-covered jaw. “I get that you have trust issues, on several levels. It must be hard to let someone into your world.”
Emptiness boiled in her chest. She felt hollow, gutted by isolation and doubt. “It’s like standing on the outside always looking in. I don’t seem to belong anywhere.”
“Maybe you’re standing on the inside, looking out. There’s a door there, I know. You might consider opening it, letting someone in.”
She shook her head. Tears welled up in her eyes, as years of pent-up emotion boiled over in her chest. She blinked hard, refusing to cry. “Right now’s it’s got to stay closed. Maybe not locked, but closed. Until I’m sure.”
Kenneth nodded. “I can handle that.” He shrugged. “Can’t say that I haven’t got a few hang-ups that need to be examined a little closer.”
Lowering her hands, Tessa inhaled a few shallow breaths to ease the ache building in her chest. “Exactly.” The timing just wasn’t right.
Kenneth looked at her in all seriousness. “Just don’t keep letting the bad times hold you back. Believe it or not, things do get better.” His voice was low and soft.
She swallowed and took another deep breath. “The voice of experience?” Her words came out in a raw, husky whisper.
Standing so close to him made it hard to breathe. The musky scent of their lovemaking still clung to his warm skin, reminding her of everything they’d done. The intoxicating scent filled her with indescribable longing.
He nodded. “Absolutely. Been there, done that. There comes a point when you have to decide to move forward and rebuild your life with the pieces you’ve got left. It isn’t easy, but it’s possible.”
Despite the glimmer of hope, her shoulders drooped. There was so much more to the story he just didn’t know. Her love life, or lack thereof, was just the tip of the iceberg. “Sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to do it again.”