Chapter 28
Running out of the bathroom, Winnie grabbed her phone and answered it. “Merry Christmas!”
“That is not fair, Winifred Fordham,” her mom grumbled. “You have to at least say hello first.”
It was a yearly contest. Whoever said Merry Christmas first had gloating rights until the next year. Winnie had lost every year, and she’d decided this year, she wasn’t going to lose. “There are no rules that say I have to start with hello.”
Her mom scoffed. “I say hello every time.”
Snickering, Winnie crawled onto the bed, hair in a towel and one wrapped around her. “Just because you do it doesn’t make it a rule.”
“Fine. Merry Christmas, my love. Next year, I want us to have Christmas together. Okay?”
Her mom wanted Christmas together? “You do?”
Of course, Christmas had been a family affair when she was growing up, but once she moved out and away for college, over time, they’d gone their separate ways for Christmas. They called each other and sent gifts or whatnot, but it wasn’t the big holiday deal most people had.
“Your father’s mild stroke was a bit of a wake-up call for me. I don’t want to waste the years I have by not spending time with the people I love. I don’t want to regret anything when I’m old…er.”
Nodding, Winnie said, “I’d like that.”
She filled her mom in on the West-Frederick Christmas Eve tradition. It’d been so much fun the night before. Eating cinnamon rolls, drinking hot cocoa, and opening the smallest gifts. The story behind the tradition made it even more fun. Winnie could absolutely see Josiah trying to cheat the system for a bigger gift.
Bear loved the puppy. At first, she’d been a little afraid of getting him one, but she’d talked it over with Wyatt, and he’d given her the green light. They’d all helped her make it happen. She’d used some of the money Tammy returned. It was worth every penny to see his eyes light up and the smile that encompassed his entire face.
When she’d returned from letting Boots potty, she’d gone to Bear’s room. It had taken the puppy a while to get some energy out and then get him to go. She figured he’d had enough time to talk to Bandit but realized the conversation wasn’t over. She wasn’t completely sure what he’d talked to Bandit about, but from what she overheard, she had an intuition that said Bear was hesitant to trust her.
With what happened with Angela, it wasn’t a shock, but it had cut her a little. It also made Reagan’s advice that much easier to use. Winnie loved Bear. She’d choose him, but until he decided he could trust her, she wasn’t willing to stay.
What she’d decided was to honor their deal. She’d kiss him, snuggle him, and love on him. When it came time to fly home, she’d do it. She wanted more than just a piece of him because once she gave herself to him, it would be her whole self. She’d be his, and she deserved the same.
“Maybe Bear’s family wouldn’t mind a few intruders next year.” Her mom used the tone that meant there was something between the lines. “You think they’d be okay with that?”
“I’m sure they’d be fine with it. I’m just not sure I’ll be in the picture. He’s not ready for a relationship just yet, and until he is, it can’t go anywhere. I don’t mind trying to fix broken things, but when they’re doing everything in their power to keep the glue from sticking, I need to walk away.”
Her mom inhaled and let it out slowly. “I’m proud of you. You have a sweet nature and giving heart. It’s time you stopped being a doormat.”
“Tammy called and apologized, even returned most of the money, and asked if I could ever forgive her.”
“What did you say?”
“I said that I forgave her, but the trust was gone. That this restaurant venture would continue without her. I can’t put myself in that position again. I won’t. I have value. I’m worth something.”
Sniffing, her mom replied, “Yes, you are. Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for you to figure that out?”
Winnie shrugged. “Believe it or not, Bear taught me that.”
“He’s a good man. Sweet and kind. But you’re right. Until he can trust you, it’ll never work.”
A loud noise downstairs made Winnie jump, and she looked at the time. “Oh, I need to go. I think they’re about to start opening gifts. I have to get the sweet potato casserole in the oven.”
“Merry Christmas, baby.”
The phone rustled. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” her stepdad said. “I’m sorry I’ve been away so long.”
“It’s okay, Gary. Merry Christmas.”
Another round of Southern goodbyes and ten minutes later, she was hurriedly dressing to get downstairs. As she hit the first-floor landing, she slammed into Bear.
“Whoa, I’ve got the casserole in the oven.”
“Really?” She sighed heavily.
“Yep. An hour, right?”
“Yeah, thank you. My mom called, and I wasn’t paying attention to the time.” She blew a piece of hair from her face. “Then my stepdad got on the phone. And you know how Texan goodbyes are. They just keep going.”
Bear chuckled. “I know. They take a while.”
“Is that apple cider I’m smelling?”
“Yeah, Reagan was craving it, so my dad made it. It’s pretty good.”
Reagan was right. King had to be one of her most favorite people. Not that they weren’t all great. That man just had a way of making people feel like family. “I really like your family. I was so nervous the day I flew in, but I’ve never felt more welcome in my life.”
Wrapping his arms around her, Bear kissed her forehead and then set his cheek on top of her head. “It’s been nice having you here.”
She wanted to say, But you can’t trust me. Instead, she swallowed down the words, hugged him, and replied, “I’ve liked being here.”
He wasn’t being cruel or mean. Not even selfish. It was scary to love at all and even scarier when he’d been hurt so badly. It had nothing to do with Winnie or her behavior. All of his fear rested on him. She couldn’t promise them away. Her love wouldn’t change him. That was something he’d have to do on his own.
“You ready to join the festivities?” he asked.
“Yeah, I am.” She dropped her arms to her sides as he loosened his hold on her.
Before she could move, he took her face in his hands and kissed her. The toe-curling, unhurried kisses she loved. They shorted her wiring and made her hold on to him. There was part of her that wanted to accept whatever she could get of him. But she couldn’t. It wasn’t good for her, and ultimately, it wasn’t good for him.
The kisses, though? There wasn’t a chance she was turning down those.
His hands roamed from her face to her back, bringing her flush to his body. She was sure people were waiting on them, and she didn’t care. It was Christmas, and as far as presents went, this was the best.
He broke the kiss and held her gaze. “Now I’m ready.”
“Uh-huh.” That was about as much as she could say with the brainpower she had left.
For a split second, she was saddened by the thought this might be her only Christmas with him. But in the next breath, she was grateful. He’d taught her something valuable. She wanted to love the way a man loved her. Anything less wasn’t good enough anymore.
Chapter 29
Over the week following Christmas, Bear had slowly pulled away, and in the process, Winnie had as well. They were still acting as though things were fine, but time alone was mostly spent in awkward silence. She hated how it felt between them, but she also understood that the only person who could help Bear…was Bear.
Standing outside, it was bitterly cold, and she was thankful that she’d bought a sweater and coat during the Black Friday madness. They were the only reason she wasn’t frozen. The minutes were ticking down until the new year would begin, and she was excited to see the fireworks. From what she understood, they rivaled the best show there was.
Reagan sidled u
p next to her. “Hey. How are you doing?”
Winnie and Reagan had become good friends since Winnie divulged her arrangement with Bear. It was the first time Winnie had a friend she was positive she could trust. Someone who wasn’t broken or looking to her for repair. For once, she was the one being pieced back together.
Taking a deep breath, she answered, “I’m okay. I think I’ve come to terms with the way things are being left. I don’t know that I’ll ever stop loving him, but I love myself enough now to know settling won’t do this time.”
Patting her back, Reagan smiled. “Wise words.” She hugged Winnie. “But, whatever happens with you and Bear, you’d better keep in touch with me. I have this incredible little bed and breakfast with the best ocean view in Georgia. I’ve got a room with your name on it.”
Winnie hugged her back. “Oh, I will so take you up on that.”
Reagan dropped her arms to her side and stepped back. “I’m going in the house to make a pickle and mayo sandwich. Do you want anything?”
“Uh, no, I’m good. That sounds disgusting.”
“It does. But, my mouth is literally watering at the thought. I’ve craved things that normally would have me bent over a toilet.” Reagan laughed. “Even Captain looks at me strangely at times. Like, ‘My human is officially broken.’”
Winnie held her stomach as she giggled. “Dogs are pretty smart.”
As if she’d called him, Boots ran up to Winnie and jumped up and down, begging to be loved.
Winnie swooped him up and scratched his head. “He is too cute.”
Petting Boots on the head, Reagan said, “Okay, be back in a minute.”
“Where is your person?” Winnie asked Boots.
“I’m right here.” Bear smiled as he joined her. “I’m trying to decide if I should let him stay for the fireworks later or take him inside. He needs to get used to loud noises. Sometimes we have to take care of predators.”
Winnie handed Boots to Bear. “Maybe keep him out here, then.”
Hunter stopped in front of them. “You look a little tired, man.”
“Fun fact about puppies. They have bladders the size of a walnut. I think he woke up four times last night.”
Boots whined to be put down, wiggling in Bear’s arms to the point that he was nearly dropped.
“All right.” Bear set him down. “Play, bud. Maybe you’ll sleep tonight.”
Hunter laughed as the puppy bolted away. “He’s a spunky little thing, but Captain was too. I think that’s just puppy. Plus, this is all new to him.”
“I love him. He’s slept right next to me the whole week. As soon as he whimpers, I take him out, and he goes. He’s a good little pup. Smart too.” Bear set his hands on his hips as he watched Boots zip around.
Winnie was happy she’d found the little guy, and even more, she was thankful for Wyatt, Hunter, Reagan, and Josiah’s help in making his gift happen.
With a kiss to the cheek, Bear said, “Thank you again. I really love him.”
“You’re welcome.” She hugged herself.
There was no way his family didn’t see the cooling off that had happened the past week. They’d gone from happy and smiling to barely speaking unless they were around other people.
Hunter looked around. “Have you seen Reagan?”
“She went inside to make a mayo and pickle sandwich.” Winnie tried not to actually picture the nasty thing.
Both the men’s lips twisted in disgust. “What?” Bear asked.
Hunter shook his head. “She’s been craving the weirdest stuff. She had tuna with ketchup one night. She made chili. It was absolutely delicious, and then she squirted enough mustard in hers that I had to go outside to eat mine.”
Bear grimaced. “That’s bad.”
“It is, but,” he said and smiled, “I love her, tuna-and-ketchup breath included. I felt the baby kick last night. She’s been pretty calm, but last night, she was doing gymnastics.”
“That’s great.”
“I knew she was pregnant, knew there was a child, but, man, last night…” Hunter stopped as his voice caught. “It hit me that I was gonna be a dad. The person I love most in the world is giving me a gift I can’t properly put into words.”
Winnie shivered as a breeze blew through, and Bear put his arms around her. When she looked up at him, his expression was unreadable. Finally, his lips quirked up. “I’m happy for you, Hunter.”
“I’m gonna go find Reagan. See you guys in a bit.”
So far, Winnie had yet to shed tears, but she had a suspicion that they’d flow freely once she got on the plane. Leaving a man she desperately and hopelessly loved hurt her in ways she’d yet to ever experience.
In that moment, as she watched Bear, she decided that however things played out, the one thing she wanted most was to be held by him one more time.
Wrapping her arms around his chest, she laid her head against him and took a deep breath. “Thank you for inviting me to spend Christmas here. I’ve really had a great time.”
He squeezed her a little. “I’m glad you came. It wouldn’t have been as wonderful if you weren’t here. You made the holidays bearable.” He laughed.
“I’m going to miss you.” She’d never spoken truer words. “You’ll have to come visit me in San Antonio after the restaurant opens.”
Nodding, he said, “I definitely will. The people of San Antonio won’t know what hit them. You’re going to blow them away and be incredibly successful.”
Bear was complimenting her, but it felt like daggers to her heart. She kissed him and silently hoped that one day he’d break free and be truly happy. He was a good man, and when he did finally decide to give his whole heart to someone, they were going to be loved like no one else.
Maybe it would even be her, but if not, whoever she was, Winnie hoped she’d love Bear in return as much as Winnie did. He deserved nothing less.
Chapter 30
The ride to the airport was spent in uncomfortable silence. Bear’s entire essence was in turmoil. He’d pulled away from Winnie after his talk with Bandit. Not because he didn’t love her, but because he knew she deserved better than his scraps. It wasn’t fair to her that he was still afraid.
Standing back from the ticket counter, he waited as she checked her luggage in and got her boarding ticket. His head was screaming so loud he could barely hear the noise of the crowded airport.
Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, Winnie approached him and stopped about a foot away. “All checked in.”
“Did you tell them they lost your luggage last time and they need to be extra careful this time?”
“No, she’s just an employee. Besides, I replaced the stuff with nicer clothes, and this great guy bought me new knives. I’ll miss my old ones, but I’ll treasure these just as much.” She smiled.
He gathered her into a hug and held on, soaking her up. Her arms circled his chest, and she lightly squeezed him. Heartbeat after strangled heartbeat passed until he dropped his arms and stepped back. “Have a good flight.”
“Thanks.”
It was a war of words between his head and his heart as he watched her wind her way through the line to security. When she disappeared from sight, he strode out of the airport and stopped outside, bracing his hand against the wall. His chest felt like it was going to implode.
“There’s only one thing on this earth that will make a man look like the world is ending, and that’s a woman,” an elderly male voice broke through the collision going on inside of him.
Bear looked up.
The man wagged his finger at him. “Go get her before you regret it. Because you will, and you know you will. Go.”
Nodding, Bear pushed off the wall and briskly walked to the ticket counter. The only way to get to her was to buy a ticket.
The woman at the counter smiled. “Reservation number?”
“I don’t have one. I just need a ticket. It doesn’t matter where. I just need to talk to someone.”
&
nbsp; “Okay,” she said, her fingernails tapping against the keyboard. “I’ve got Amarillo to Vegas, leaving in two hours.”
Of all the destinations. “I’ll take it.”
The woman’s eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t even know the price.”
“There isn’t one. She’s priceless.” He pulled out his wallet and slapped his card down.
“Ohhh.”
A few moments later, he was weaving through the security line. If he’d known he was buying a plane ticket, he would have worn something besides boots. By the time he passed the security checkpoint, Winnie’s flight was being announced. Grabbing his boots, he took off at a run, hoping he wasn’t too late.
He slid to a stop as Winnie came into view, walking away from the gate she was supposed to be at, her hand rubbing her eyes as tears trickled down her cheeks.
“Winnie,” he called, ignoring the people who stared.
She looked up and tilted her head. “Bear?”
He charged forward and dropped his boots. “I’ve spent the last week trying to convince myself that letting you go was the best thing to do. That you shouldn’t have to give up your dream. That making you choose would be wrong. But I’ve fallen in love with you. I think I will wither and die if I let you leave without asking you to stay.”
“Stay?”
“I’m begging you to pick me. I know you have a dream. I know you do, but I will give up the ranch. I will give up my heart. I will give all I am to you. You can have all of me for as long as you want. Just pick me, please.”
“You would?”
“I would.” He swiped at the moisture on his face. “I’d rather risk it all with you than live the milquetoast existence I’ve been living. I want you. I want to spend my life with you, have children with you. My foreseeable future is mapped out with you as the captain. Please stay.” He paused. “I’ll understand if you can’t, but I had—”
Winnie threw her arms around her neck and kissed him. “I choose you. I want you. I was already on my way back. The closer I got to the gate, the sicker I got. I was trying to be strong. I was trying to walk away. I just couldn’t. The thought of not being with you was killing me. I’d rather have just pieces of you than nothing at all. I choose you, Bear West, with all my heart.”
The Fake Girlfriend's Billionaire Match (Caprock Canyon Romance Book 4) Page 13