“Have you spoken to your mother?” Edith asked as they carried on down the corridor towards Beth's rooms.
“Yes,” she said guardedly. She wasn't supposed to tell anyone the truth but couldn't bring herself to lie to Edith.
“Good. You ignore those awful media types. They don't know one end of a stethoscope from another. Your father and Anne will be just fine. I can feel it in my bones.”
“All right,” she said, taking the excuse to go along with Edith's bones rather than figure out how she should really handle it.
“Don't you all right me, girl. I know these things, and my bones are never wrong. They will be just fine, and I won't hear otherwise.”
“You won't get any argument from me, Edith,” Beth said.
“Good, that’s settled then. Let me get Kristen,” Edith said, giving her another hug before heading out of the room to find the assistant that Beth and Anne shared.
Once Edith had left the parlor Beth turned back to see Chase standing, staring at the room with a deep frown. The other guard they had walked with was visible only by the livery on his shoulder sticking out slightly into the doorway of the entrance to her rooms as he stood watch outside.
She looked around, trying to see how it might look to Chase. The parlor had a chaise longue and four antique chairs around a low and long oval coffee table stacked with an eclectic mix of books. To Beth's mortification the book tented open, the one she'd been reading just before they'd left for Anne's wedding, was a real bodice ripper, complete with the requisite naked torso man on the cover. Ignoring the urge to run over and grab it before Chase saw it, she continued looking around, wondering how it all looked through his eyes. What impression would it give him?
There were five doors off of the central room, the one they had used to enter, a bathroom, dressing room, her bedroom and the room that had been Anne’s bedroom up until she’d left to live with Jonathan. The spaces between the doorways were filled with bookcases that were crammed with books, overflowing to the point that there were stacks of them on every surface and even the floor. The high ceiling had detailed architrave coated with gold leaf, and the room itself was painted cream with prints of the works of her favorite artists. As she looked around Beth tried to imagine how Chase would see it.
Except for the damn book she'd been reading. She was trying very hard to ignore what he might make of that.
Standing there as he took it all in, Beth was suddenly very self-conscious that the room was almost as big as the whole of Chase's private safe house.
“It's not mine,” she said quietly.
“What?” Chase said blankly.
“It's not mine. It’s my parents’, and they only have it because it’s been in the family for generations,” she explained, desperate for him to understand that the building didn’t change who she was.
Chase looked at her blankly. After the time they had spent together and his openness, the emptiness in his expression was painful. He had withdrawn. She logically understood that there wasn't ever going to be anything between them. He'd been clear about that. But despite her best efforts at logic, the little touches, the gestures that had showed her he cared about her, had given her hope. Well, seeing him here, in her rooms, his face entirely blank didn’t just kill that hope, it jumped up and down on it, stomping it until it was completely destroyed. It might have taken him a while to get there, but he was finally seeing the heiress and not the woman, something Beth knew from bitter experience there was no chance of coming back from.
“Elizabeth!” squealed a high pitch voice that Beth instantly recognized as Kristen. Her beautiful assistant hurried into the room, stopping a respectful distance from Beth. “What a relief to have you back safely with us,” she said before looking at Beth properly.
“Goodness me. What on earth happened to your hair?” she asked, shocked. “It looks terrible.”
Irritated, Beth drew herself up and frowned at Kristen. “My life was in danger. It seemed prudent to disguise myself,” she replied coldly.
Kristen was an old school friend of Anne's and had been working with them for a couple of years but even now insisted on calling her Elizabeth. She loved the perks and pomp that came from working with such a wealthy family a little too much to be able to build any sort of meaningful friendship with her. That said, she was awfully good at finding just the right look for both her and Anne, so Beth tolerated her, accepting that it was unreasonable to expect to adore everyone as much as she did Edith.
“Of course, Elizabeth. I meant no offense,” Kirsten hurriedly replied. But the sincerity of her words was diluted by the sidelong glances she was giving Chase, who was stand at parade rest, his eyes fixed firmly on the doorway. The sparkle in Kirsten’s eyes suggested she was enjoying the view a little more than Beth would prefer.
“It's all just been such a shock,” Kristen finished dramatically.
“Indeed,” she said, although Kristen seemed oblivious to the sarcasm in her response.
“Shall we see what you can do with it then?” Beth gestured to her hair before motioning for Kristen to go through to the bathroom.
As she turned Beth was gratified to find Chase was oblivious to Kristen’s lingering looks, but her heart hurt at the knowledge he wasn't seeing her either. Gone was the man who saw her as a woman, and in his place was the more familiar experience of someone who was seeing the heiress. It hadn't occurred to Beth that coming to the estate would change how he saw her. She should have known better. Even having lived here her whole life she was a little overawed by the place. As a family they'd always stuck to this wing, leaving the rest as for the public tours that brought much needed income and employment to the local area.
With the success of Great Britain Air they certainly didn’t need to keep the house open to the public anymore, but her parents had been clear that it wasn’t about their need. They had a responsibility to the people who worked at the house, running the tours and so forth. Besides which, how much house did any one family actually need? The bit they kept private was lovely and homey, yet she was smart enough to know their idea of homey was still a long way from the experience of most people.
Fighting her disappointment, Beth fought to hold on to a flicker of hope that Chase would get past this. Whether or not they had a future, she had enjoyed having a friend who saw past the trappings of her life. She should have known better, but somehow the fact he had not just seen that had been tantalizing. The idea that someone could see the woman had made her yearn for something more. Maybe even start to consider the idea of a relationship with someone.
No, she acknowledged, not someone, this strong considerate and honorable man. His steady presence over the last few days had made it possible for her to keep functioning through her fear, strengthening her. But now he was withdrawing.
Walking ahead of her, he took in the bathroom with a quick glance before stepping back and waving her ahead, giving permission to enter. Despite his closeness as she brushed past him, she was aware of the space that he had somehow created between them, and it made her heart sink. Years of official events meant she was able to smile on demand, regardless of how she actually felt, a skill she was thankful for as she forced herself to smile at Chase before she followed Kristen to get her hair repaired. His curt nod of acknowledgement cut as deeply as if he'd walked away completely.
***
“Do you feel it appropriate for him to remain present whilst we discuss this, Elizabeth?” Philip Edwards asked Beth, tilting his head to Chase as they sat in the office that Beth and her father shared when they didn’t go into work.
She smothered her smile as she took in the discomfort of the family's lead advisor, his eyes darting sideways to take in the motionless, solid presence in the corner of the room. Somehow, despite remaining totally still, Chase managed to radiate a coiled energy, and anyone seeing him couldn't help but know that despite his inaction he was not missing a single thing that was happening around him. He was poised to pounce at the sli
ghtest provocation. Meeting his eyes, she smiled at the silent warning Chase shot back at her. She knew he wouldn't allow her out of his sight, and despite the cold space between them she needed him in her life. His presence might hurt her heart, but it soothed her fears and was the only thing giving her the courage to go ahead with her crazy plan.
“Trooper Maddox will remain present,” Beth replied to Philip. She knew that the lack of privacy would bother the man. He took his responsibility to the family seriously. But he was going to have to get over it.
“Ma'am, we do need to talk about the plans for the airliner launch, and that is quite sensitive. We may touch on confidential areas,” he persisted.
“This is not a matter for discussion.” Beth resisted the urge to explain. She didn't like it but sometimes she had to flex her authority, and this was one of those times. Explaining herself would simply be providing permission to challenge, and this wasn't up for debate. There was nothing that Beth would want to hide from Chase. No matter what was happening between them, she trusted him implicitly.
Smoothing her hand down the freshly blonde hair Beth was surprised yet again when it ended so abruptly. Kristen had done a fantastic job returning her hair to its normal color. Unfortunately, although she'd been able to do it without ruining the condition, even she couldn't work enough of a miracle to return it to its original length. Beth had seriously considered the offer to arrange hair extensions, something that would have been easy enough to do before she would be seen in public again, but in the end realized that not only had her life changed in the last few days, she had changed. The shorter hair was an outward sign that she wasn't the same woman anymore.
“We need to finalize the menu for the post launch gala dinner,” Philip said, his expression making it clear he wasn't happy but would accept her orders.
“Didn't Mother make these decisions already?” Beth asked, leafing through the leather-bound event folder that held all of her mother’s plans.
“Yes, Miss Worthington, however she indicated that the vegetable selection was to be done during the week before the event to ensure that the season’s best local produce was used.”
“What does Chef recommend?” Beth asked. From watching her mother over the years she knew enough about arranging events not to ignore Chef's preferences without good cause.
“He has suggested marrow, carrots, and zucchini flower. He indicates that the crop from the house garden have been particularly good this year and would suit the existing menu without any changes being necessary.”
“Excellent, approved,” Beth said, relieved to be spared complex menu changes.
After what felt like hours Edith brought a tray of food into the office. Beth smiled at her gratefully. At home without any of her family she had no appetite, but she knew that Chase would be hungry.
“Edith, you are an angel. Thank you so much. Will you sit and eat with us, Trooper Maddox?” Beth asked Chase, indicating the trolley of food.
“No, ma'am. I would prefer to remain standing.” Chase's eyes flickered anxiously to the open door.
“Let me give you a plate of food,” Edith said, piling a plate high with delicate sandwiches before adding a doorstop slice of sponge cake and handing it to Chase. “A big strong lad like you needs to keep his energy up.”
The smile Chase gave Edith warmed Beth's heart. He would be hungry, he was always hungry, but would want to remain professional, and this way he could eat and stay focused.
****
“Shall we continue in the morning, Miss Worthington?” Phillip asked as Beth stifled yet another yawn. Glancing at the clock she was shocked to see it was almost eleven PM. They had been closeted in her office for over six hours.
“Actually I’ll go into the office tomorrow after Emma’s party and finalize plans from there if you don't mind, Philip.”
“Of course, whatever you think best, Miss Worthington.”
Walking back to her rooms, Beth was annoyed to find Chase trailing a step behind her. She deliberately slowed her pace to bring him to her side, only for him to slow his own pace, maintaining the distance between them. By the time they had reached her rooms she was fizzing with frustration. How could he behave this way after everything they had been through together?
“What on earth is the matter with you?” she demanded as soon as they were safely in her rooms. The heavy door closed between them and the additional guard that had been placed to ensure her safety.
Chase ignored her as he began to poke around in the rooms, opening and closing closets, looking under beds and behind curtains.
“Will you stop what you are doing for one blasted moment and tell me what is going on,” she demanded, fists clenched at her sides.
“What do you mean, Miss Worthington?” Chase asked, ignoring her instruction to stop.
“You know what I mean. You've been acting different since we got here.”
“Haven't I behaved appropriately for a personal guard?” Chase asked.
“Are you bloody trying to misunderstand me? I thought we were friends?”
“It's not appropriate for us to be friends,” Chase replied, finally looking at her. His expression was blank. Gone was the man she'd known, and in his place was the soldier.
“Why?”
“You don't know everything about me. It's better for you this way.”
“How can you say that?” she asked, her anger giving way to the need to feel his arms around her again. As she stepped towards him a flash of panic crossed his face, momentarily wiping the blank expression from his features. It was gone so fast that if she hadn't been watching him intently she would have missed it. But she hadn’t, and it was enough to make her freeze in place.
He opened his mouth to speak just as her phone rang out. The old-fashioned ring from the landline in her rooms saved her from whatever painful thing he was about to say.
“I don't want to discuss this,” she said as she hurriedly moved to lift the handset. It might be idiotic, especially as she had started the conversation, but somehow she didn't think she could bear to hear Chase reject her. His intention had been clear enough. She didn't need the words as well.
Picking up the handset she was pleased to hear Oliver’s voice greeting her. Well, she was pleased until he got past the pleasantries and to the point of his call.
“You can’t do this, Beth,” he said, his tone more annoyed than angry.
“I have to. I won’t spend my life in hiding,” she replied, sinking in to the chair next to the phone.
She was getting fed up of this. Everyone she’d spoken to since returning home seemed to be trying to tell her what to do. She curled her legs under herself as she let Oliver rant his way through his feelings, only half listening to the tirade. She’d seen how affected by events he had been when he’d made that statement to the media. The least she could do was let him get it all off of his chest. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Chase move from room to room. She assumed he was checking it was safe. Quite how he thought anyone would get past the guard on the main door to her suite she had no idea. He moved with a graceful confidence and surety that even with his rejection fresh in her mind was hard to ignore. The contrast between the endless posturing of the man on the phone and the quietly confident man who had just finished searching her rooms and was now standing with his back to the wall, positioned so he could see all the doorways, was stark. The comparison brought Beth’s mind back to the announcement Oliver had made outside the hospital and the frenzy of questions after he had finished. She was sure if Chase had been the one speaking the reporters wouldn’t have dared to ask a single question. However, thinking about the reporters’ behavior Beth realized she had a bone to pick with Oliver. When he finally paused for breath she interrupted his flow.
“Why did you let that reporter believe we are engaged?” she asked.
She could have sworn Chase stiffened at her words but dismissed it as fancy on her part. His only interest in her was keeping her safe.
<
br /> Oliver didn’t respond straight away, but Beth let the silence roll on. She knew if she stayed quiet for long enough he’d feel compelled to say something, anything to fill the void.
“We could be,” he finally said.
Beth’s heart sank. She’d thought they were past this, thought they had resolved it. Whatever he said, she knew he didn’t love her like that, knew he wasn’t even really that attracted to her. The one and only time they had kissed there had been no passion. He had rested his hands on her shoulders, and when she had tried to deepen the kiss, determined to give it her best shot, he had simply held her in place. There had been absolutely zero passion. Both of them had been breathing normally, and neither had felt the need to step apart to stop them from touching, exploring further. She was absolutely certain that they weren’t right for each other and had thought Oliver agreed. Sure he’d lost his temper to start with, but he’d quickly agreed with her. Telling their parents had been harder. Now it seemed he hadn’t quite accepted the way things were. Maybe it was just the drama of everything they were dealing with getting to him.
“But we don’t feel like that about each other,” she said quietly, wishing she could take the conversation away from Chase, but she sensed that telling Oliver about him now would simply make things worse. The fact nothing was going on between them would be irrelevant.
“We could. We’ve been friends our whole lives. We work so well together,” he said.
Beth recognized the persuasive tone. It was the one he bought out when he was working on a big deal for the Company. Unfortunately, she didn’t want to be persuaded to love someone. Love wasn’t something you forced, it just was. Sure you had to work at it once you had it, but anything worth having took work. She loved Oliver but like a brother, and that wasn’t something she could change. Her gaze flickered to Chase, standing alert and expressionless. No, loving Oliver in the way he wanted wasn’t an option.
Broken Trust Page 12