She let her new realization settle over her. If she had to ask Chase if he was involved then they had no future together, whatever his answer was. She wanted to trust her heart, and her heart was screaming at her to forget that the awful, ridiculous thought had ever crossed her mind. She nodded at Chase, her body feeling fragile with the movement.
“I understand. I’m sorry for how I’ve behaved,” she said, attempting a wavering smile at him. “I need to explain that my reaction was never about you. I have issues with trust.”
Once the words started she couldn’t seem to stop, wanting to explain everything to Chase. She needed him to understand that she wasn’t perfect, but that she was trying.
“I have only ever been in love once before,” she said. The fact she now knew what she’d felt then had been a pale imitation of real love was irrelevant. “I was at university, and it turned out he was using me so he could make money selling his story to the papers. I know it’s pathetic. I know it’s nothing compared to what you have been through, but I haven’t had a relationship since then. I couldn’t trust my own judgment. I just couldn’t.” She studied the fine gold rope that trimmed the arm of her chair, not able to make herself look at him after exposing how foolish she had been. She blinked hard, trying to control the tears that were building.
“And now?”
“Now, I’m done letting one bad experience shape my whole future. I’m ready to trust myself. You have made me want to trust myself, and you.’
She risked a glance at him as she finished speaking, and he visibly straightened at her words, but instead of coming over to her as she desperately wanted him to he placed his palms on his thighs and looked at her, his jaw tight.
“You need to know that I have to finish investigating the crash my dad was blamed for.” His posture was straight and his expression determined, but there was a hint of something uncertain, something fearful in his eyes as he met her gaze. “I won’t go behind your back and let that be a reason for you to mistrust me, but I can’t leave it alone. I owe it to my dad.”
How did she feel about that? His statement settled around her as she considered the fact that this man, the man she loved, wanted to investigate her airline, her family. Pulling herself up she realized she didn’t need to think about it. Whether or not she loved him, making sure things were investigated and that the truth was found, no matter what that truth was, was the right thing to do. The fact she was in love with someone who was being so hurt by the situation only made that course of action even easier for her to be sure of.
Chase had come to her with ulterior motives, but, despite the strength of need behind those motives, he hadn’t followed through, had stepped back from the chance to use her to fulfil his own goals even though he still needed to. She realized what it had cost Chase to do that. He hadn’t been open with her, hadn’t confided in her, but that didn’t change the fact that he was an honorable man.
Her tears began to fall, slowly tracing down her cheeks as she finally accepted what she’d known for some time. She loved him, and whether he was ready to admit it or not, he loved her. He’d sacrificed too much for her for that not to be true.
Without a sound, she moved around the table and knelt in front of him. Gently curling her hands around his face, she looked directly into his eyes.
“I love you,” she said, her voice cracking as she spoke.
Chase looked back at her, the closed expression disappearing, his eyes brightening, his full mouth curling softly.
“You love me?” he asked.
She nodded firmly. “I love you, and we will investigate the crash together.”
He blinked hard, but she maintained her gaze. She needed him to know she meant it.
“Are you sure? We don’t know what we will find,” he asked.
“We’ll find the truth, and, whatever it is, we’ll deal with it together.”
He moved closer, resting his forehead against hers.
“Thank you,” he said, the rough pads of his thumbs sweeping across her cheeks, wiping away the wetness of her tears. “I love you, too, Beth.”
Chase’s hands slid from her cheeks into her hair and pulled her closer. His lips smashed against hers with a passion that took her breath away. His hands were everywhere as though he couldn’t get enough of her, as though he were frightened she would vanish if he didn’t hold her as tight as possible and she felt herself respond in kind.
Desire that had built from the moment she’d spotted him in the church mingled with the intense emotions of the last few hours, and began to burn deep inside Beth, driving her inextricably towards an explosion of need. Relief that he was touching her flooded her mind, and conscious thought fell away. She couldn’t get close enough to him, a feeling that seemed to be mutual as they clawed at each other’s clothes, lips parting just long enough to shrug his holster off and lift his t-shirt away before clashing back together, heat burning away each other’s fear and pain as she ran her hands up his back. He tangled his hands in her hair, and the world around them seemed to melt away as she reveled in the chance to really explore the body that had been taunting her for days. The soft heat of his skin under her fingers was at odds with his taut muscles. She might not have done this before, but her inexperience didn’t seem to matter as he slipped down from the chair. Sinking back onto his heels he lifted her into his lap, and Beth sucked in a breath at the feeling of his hard chest pressing against her. Wrapping her legs around him she reveled in the way his body responded to hers. The sense of power he gave her was unlike anything else she had experienced.
That she could cause such a response in someone so strong and controlled flamed her desire, and she wrapped her palms around his solid backside, needing to feel him closer, wanting everything he could give her. His mouth moved from hers, her whimper of disappointment cut short as his lips traveled to her neck, gently sucking on a spot just below her ear that she had no idea could be so sensitive. Licking and sucking, he traveled down her neck and across her collarbone before continuing further, burning heat following his path. One hand remained tangled in her hair as he held her close and the other began gently palming her breasts, showing her just how much better this was going to get, and she moaned with need. The sensations raging in her body were pushing her to the edge. She finally understood, this, this was what people made all the fuss about. Shifting his hand, he slowly, excruciatingly slowly, undid the buttons of her blouse, and she fought the urge to take over, focusing instead on the way his mouth followed his hand, the constant bombardment of heat and sensation making her wonder why she hadn’t done this before.
Except she knew that until right now, with this man, it wouldn’t have been like this. When he undid the final button he moved his hand from her hair and carefully slipped the fabric from her shoulders. His expression was one of pure adoration as he took in her pale skin and white cotton bra. For a split second she wished she had thought to wear something sexier, but she had dressed for a child’s party, one she had been going to with a man who had been determined to keep his distance. One look at his expression killed any doubts she might have had, for he looked as dazed as she felt. No one had ever made her feel so cherished. Once her blouse had finally cleared her arms he dropped it to the floor and with one finger reverently traced the curve of her breast, his touch so light she could almost have imagined it. Moving her hand, she went to undo her bra. She needed more, needed to feel his bare skin against her own. Chase pulled away from her at the movement and placed his hand over hers, stopping her in her tracks.
Oh God, she’d totally embarrassed herself again, acting like some sort of sex starved moron who couldn’t wait to strip her clothes off. Nausea swirled as she fixed her eyes on where his tanned, capable hand held her small pale one, and she couldn’t make herself look up.
Placing his other hand under her chin Chase pushed gently, forcing her to meet his gaze.
“If you are sure about this we should go somewhere more private,” he said softly.
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As his words sank in Beth blinked hard before looking around. They were still sitting in the lounge area, an area with an armed guard standing just the other side of the door, the unlocked door. She looked back at Chase. This was her chance to back out, to cool things off and hang on to her virginity. The look in his eyes made it clear that this was her choice, and her momentary doubt washed away. He really truly wanted her, wanted this, but he wasn’t about to make any assumptions or demands. Still on his lap she could feel just how much it would cost him to pull back from this, but she knew without hesitation that he would. After all, he had stepped back from investigating her to clear his own father, and this would be nothing in comparison to the pain that had driven that need. Looking into his eyes she smiled, her mind clear and certain. She wanted him in every way possible and not just because of the heady rush of lust and desire from feeling his lips on her skin and his hands all over her body, but because she loved and trusted him, absolutely.
“Yes,” she said simply, and pushing up from his lap she reached out her hand and ignoring the abandoned pieces of clothing led him to her bedroom.
****
Chase watched Beth with hooded eyes as she led him to her bedroom and clicked the lock on her door. He liked this side of her. No, he loved it, loved seeing her open herself to him. Getting here, to each other, had been a hard journey for them both, and he was going make sure she knew just how special she was. As they reached the bed she looked up at him, a heated look on her face as she pulled him to her. He placed his holster and wallet on her bedside table as their bodies meshed together, and he eased her back onto the bed, the feel of her half naked body molding against his driving his desire ever higher. He pressed his lips against hers, wanting her closer, wanting more, wanting everything she had. The pain of facing his secrets was washing away in a haze of need as he tasted her warm lips, salty from her tears. Lifting onto his shoulders he smiled at her gently, unable to believe that it was possible for them to have gone through so much and still find their way to each other.
“Please don’t keep your distance from me again,” she said, her tone light so it sounded like she was joking, but he knew there was a truth to her words, a genuine worry that had let them slip out.
Moving so one arm curled around her waist, he rolled them over so she was straddling him. Her skirt had hitched up and her slim pale thighs were just begging to be stroked, but he ignored them. Instead he held her face in his hands, her blonde hair tangling in his fingers as he did, and holding her in place he gave her a look so intense she would know just how serious he was. He wanted Beth forever, and she needed to believe that.
“I love you, Elizabeth Worthington, and nothing will ever keep me away from you again.”
Pulling her towards him he kissed her, not with the desperate hunger from before but gently, carefully, wanting to show her with his actions how much he treasured her. Using his lips, he showed her what she meant to him, and taking his time to explore her mouth, he reveled in the way she responded to him. Pulling back, he warmed to see the pink flush that covered her cheeks and had spread to her chest. Reaching around he undid her bra and leant back to enjoy the view. Her perfectly rounded breasts set his blood burning. Wanting to explore and worship every part of her body, he didn’t know where to start. Fighting for control, he was surprised when Beth reached down and undid the fly of his jeans. His erection sprang forward as it was released. She ran her fingers along his length, and he sucked in a breath, clasping his hand on her wrist.
“We are not going to get very far if you do that.”
She gave him a teasing smile and leant forward to kiss him, ignoring his warning and continuing her own exploration. He lost himself in the kiss as their lips and tongues met. She tasted of milkshake and Beth and he wanted to savor her forever, but her attentions were making it obvious he wasn’t going to be able to last forever. Raising his hips, he shucked his jeans and boxers off before quickly finding the zipper on her skirt, and, lifting her up, he eased her skirt off, fingers skimming her smooth supple thighs as he did so. Under her skirt she wore a practical pair of white cotton panties. They were simple but were perfectly Beth. Discarding her skirt, he took a moment to enjoy the view as she lay beside him, naked except for her panties. He’d never been so turned on, and he sucked in a breath trying, and failing, to regain control. Quickly he pulled her panties off, an intense flash of need pounding through him as he realized just how ready for him she was. Easing next to her, he leant on his elbow so he could enjoy the sight of her fully naked as he slipped his other hand between her thighs. She flinched at the contact but didn’t pull away. Eyes wide, she looked at him, and his blood rushed through his veins at the desire in her expression. He stroked and coaxed her body to respond to him, her breaths shortening, her hips rolling with his hands. She reached up with her arms, her hands trying to pull him towards her. Reaching over he grabbed a condom from his wallet and hastily rolled it on, silently praying he would be able to take his time and not embarrass himself. Positioning himself above Beth he placed his elbows at her side and stroked her hair silky blonde hair.
“You’re sure?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes at him and pulled his head down, kissing him with such passion he didn’t ask again. Instead he buried himself in her, pausing at the unexpected resistance. Was it possible she was a virgin? He opened his mouth to ask, but she kissed him hard and tilted her hips up, the action burying him deep inside, and with it removing all rational thought. He lost himself to the moment, to the sensation of sliding in and out of the woman he loved. When he felt her begin to clench around him his own release pounded through his body as though the world was exploding.
When they finally pulled apart he rolled onto his back and pulled her into him, not ready to let her go. Blood firmly back in his brain he knew exactly what had happened. She had done more than accept him for who he was, imperfections and all, done more than have sex with him. She had given him her virginity, a gift so precious that he was sure he was floating. He would never, ever, doubt just how much she loved him.
“I love you,” he whispered into her hair.
She giggled at his words. “That’s just the afterglow talking.”
She might have found his declaration amusing, but the satisfied sigh she gave let him know she didn’t doubt it. That and everything that had just happened. He knew Beth well enough to know that she wouldn’t have jumped in to bed with him for anything less than love, for anything less than forever.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
He hated conference calls, preferring to see the whites of people’s eyes as he spoke to them. Sitting in the office that Beth usually used when working at the house, Chase glared at the handset. The fact that no one could see him was irrelevant as he listened to his team discuss plans for the day. Paul the tech guy was running through the comms system they would be using. The team would be pretty small. Fortunately, Commander Cheshire was in agreement with Chase that they still didn’t know who they could trust. They had agreed to use a select group of people they had both worked with for years. Chase would have preferred an entire army, but it wasn’t an option they had now. They had to be smart.
Paul was explaining that he would remain off site to monitor the comms, the rest of the team moving in at the last minute. The less time they were in the building the less likely someone would spot them. They had successfully transformed a supply closet close to the location of the press conference into a safe room, somewhere Beth could be secured if anything happened. He’d given very specific instructions for the arrangements and was pleased they had been followed so accurately.
He wanted to be in the briefing room with the rest of his team, not stuck on the end of a bloody call. He wanted to look them in the eye and satisfy himself that these people really could be trusted. As Commander Cheshire finalized his orders, Chase tried to shake off his feeling of unease. He knew these men, had fought alongside them, relied on them for his own safety, so he shoul
d trust them. Yet with Beth’s life at stake he found he couldn’t trust anyone. The one saving grace was that Jake would be there.
Chase had called him, and despite the fact his mate was officially on leave Jake hadn’t hesitated to say yes. He could imagine the smug look on Jake’s face when he’d asked him for help. They might be mates, but that didn’t stop the endless competition between them, although, Jake hadn’t given him as much grief as he’d expected. It might have been five years, but it was clear that Jake still felt he owed him one for the night they had teamed up to save Bree’s life. He didn’t. Despite their friendly rivalry he wouldn’t dream of keeping score when it came to the people they loved. Although it wouldn’t stop him gloating that he’d completed more successful missions than Jake.
Relieved the briefing was over, and a little reassured about how prepared the team were, Chase tucked into a mountain of eggs and bacon. As he shoveled in a mouthful he glanced up and swallowed hard at the sight of Beth as she entered the kitchen. Dressed in a deep red skirt suit with her hair sleek and smooth around her jaw, she fitted the CEO role perfectly. It suited her. Without success, he tried to push from his mind the image of their naked bodies wound together. Waking up with her in his arms, he’d experienced a moment of pure peace for the first time in his life. It had been the proverbial rollercoaster to get here, but now that they were, he would do whatever it took to keep them there. He just hoped Beth felt the same way.
She poured a mug of coffee and sipped at it cautiously, a slight tremor visible in her hands.
“Come here,” he said, pushing his plate to the side.
She smiled weakly at him but did as he asked. As soon as she was within arm’s length he pulled her closer, depositing her on his lap and enveloping her in his arms.
“You don’t have to do this, you know,” he said.
Part of him was hoping she would change her mind and pull out of the launch. She had worked her way into his heart, and he couldn’t bear the idea of anything happening to her. But he also knew better than to try to stop her. She was her own person, and he owed it to her to respect her decisions.
Broken Trust Page 17